You Series
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Chaotic Soul
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41
Ashley is starting her freshman year of college, and she just wants to be invisible. Running from a dark past, sheβs eager to make a fresh start in a new city. Then she meets handsome soon-to-be CEO Jake, and the future looks bright.
But what happens when the past wonβt stay in the past? Can Ashley really open her heart to someone newβ¦or will she need to hide away to survive?
A Human Wall
Book 1: Until I Met You
ASHLEY
I woke to the loud shrill of my alarm clock. With a groan, I sat up on my bed and stretched, wondering if Iβd made the right choice in moving from LA to New York.
Today was my first day of college, and I was freaking out about having to talk to people.
I was the textbook definition of βintrovert.β I always tried to be invisible, stay quiet, and blend in with the shadows. Especially after what had happened last year.
Without Emma, my best and only friend, I wouldnβt have survived high school. I was grateful to still have her as my roommate here, but we were going to different schools. College was going to be tough without her.
Pushing back all the negative thoughts, I made my way to the bathroom and took a hot shower to calm my nerves. I got dressed quickly in a pair of skinny jeans and a black top, combed my long, chestnut-brown hair, and pulled it into a high ponytail.
With a little bit of mascara and lip balm, I was ready to go. I walked downstairs to find Emma making breakfast.
I was blessed to have a best friend who could cook like a pro. It smelled delicious. As I entered the kitchen, my stomach growled at the aroma of fresh coffee and warm pancakes.
βGood morning, Ash!β She squealed in excitement when she noticed me, placing the last pancake on a large plate along with the others.
βI wish I had your energy,β I whined as I took a seat at the kitchen table. Emma put a plate in front of me, and I took the opportunity to admire her model-perfect figure.
Emma was roughly five feet seven inches, with a small waist that flared out to killer thighs and a nice butt. She had a heart-shaped face with porcelain skin, green eyes, and straight blonde hair.
Emma wanted to become a lawyer. She was going to Columbia, and she would find out at the end of the semester whether theyβd accepted her into an accelerated pre-law program.
Not only was she crazy hot, but she was also crazy smart. And crazy generous, considering how kind sheβd been to me.
Emmaβs grandmother had passed away a few months back, so Emma and I were staying in her old townhouse way uptown. It was roughly halfway between Columbia and my school, a liberal arts college called Faraday.
We had a great deal on the rent. Emma had said I didnβt have to pay rent at all, since she knew money was tight for me. But it didnβt feel right to mooch off her like that. I insisted on paying every month, and she knew better than to argue with me.
βEat up, or weβre gonna be late for your first day. God! I feel like a proud momma dropping off her kid at school,β Emma teased.
βStop it, Emma!β I glared at her. She paid no mind, just laughed. She was right, though; we needed to hurry. We shoveled down our pancakes and headed out to her car.
Another way Emma was taking care of me: playing personal chauffeur, since I was a little too scared to figure out the bus system yet.
βNow that youβre in college, you need to loosen up and have a little fun, Ash,β she said as she drove. I could see the concern all over her face. I so didnβt want to have this talk with her again.
βI donβt know, Em. I get that college is going to be fun for you. Youβre gorgeous and smart and friendly. But for meβ¦maybe Iβm not ready yet.β I spoke quietly, but I noticed her pouting from the corner of my eye.
βListen,β she said. βAlex fucked up high school for you. Donβt let him fuck up college too. Youβre across the country from him now. Take the opportunity for a fresh start! Go to a few parties, kiss a few boys!β
I sighed. βIβll try.β Before I knew it, weβd reached the campus. After a mini internal pep talk, I was ready to get this first day over with.
βGo make momma proud, girl!β Emma shouted with her head outside the window of the driverβs side. I facepalmed as I felt my cheeks burning up.
The campus was huge, and everyone was busy chatting or running around trying to get to their classes on time. I had fifteen minutes before orientation and decided to walk around some of the outdoor paths and explore.
Maybe college really hadnβt been such a bad idea. Faraday had a lot of beautiful architecture, featuring cream-colored stone buildings topped with turrets.
It felt like going to school at Hogwarts. I felt some of my anxieties fading into the background as I gawked.
Then, with my eyes glued to an honest-to-God castle in the distance, I forgot to look where I was going and bumped straight into a human wall.
I stepped back and looked up, apologies dying on my lips once I got a good look at the guy. Holy fuck! I couldnβt stop staring at those gorgeous, chocolate-brown eyes and plump, red lips.
He was by far the most attractive man I had ever laid eyes on.
βIβm sorrβIβm sorry,β I finally managed to stutter out. Way to go, Ash. Now he probably thinks youβre a spaz.
The worst thing was, he didnβt even look at me. He just grimaced, straightened his backpack, and rushed past me like I didnβt exist. I felt a little bad, and then I got pissed at myself for feeling that way. It wasnβt like he owed me anything.
I shook myself out of my trance and headed to my orientation, arriving right on time.
Inside, everyone was chatting like they knew each other already. I began to feel nervous. Why had I spent my time roaming around the campus instead of making a beeline here and finding a seat before everyone else came?
I made my way to the corner of the room and sank into a chair. All the other students were talking amongst themselves and going through the course material. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I was already such a weird loner.
βHey, are you all right?β I heard a voice asking next to me. Great, I must look like I was gonna pass out. I hesitantly turned and found a short, wavy-haired guy with skinny-framed glasses looking at me with concern.
βIβm fineβjust nervous.β I gave him a tentative smile.
βI get it; Iβm nervous too. Iβm Chad,β he introduced himself with a lopsided grin, extending his hand.
βIβm Ashley.β I shook his hand and relaxed at the prospect of making a new friend.
Orientation was a little less scary than Iβd expected with Chad next to me, making little comments every once in a while about the deanβs silly outfit.
After my first day of classes was all done, while I waited for Emma to pick me up, I spotted the guy Iβd bumped into earlier. Mr. Brown Eyes. He was leaning against his car with his friends and laughing. Damn! He was really attractive.
He wore a light-blue, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, paired with dark, stonewashed jeans. His hair was tousled in a careless manner that made him look hot as hell. He had a perfect jawline and day-old stubble.
I wondered how it would feel to run my hands over that jawline.
Whoa! Where did that thought come from?
I caught myself staring and peeled my eyes from him. What was wrong with me? I was acting like a preteen girl, staring at some guy I didnβt even know.
Besides, no way was I ready to have a crush on anybody yet. No matter what Emma said, I was still too raw after everything that had happened with Alex.
Maybe I could handle making a friend or two, but boys were off-limits until I could stop hearing Alexβs voice in my head calling me a slut for even looking at anyone else.
***
The next day was pretty much the same. I wore a yellow crop top, black jeans, and comfortable shoes since I had to walk the twenty blocks to campus. Emma needed the car to get to her own classes, and I still wasnβt ready to brave the bus.
In my American lit class, I didnβt know weβd been expected to read the first chapter of The Great Gatsby and come prepared for a mini pop quiz. The professor was not happy about it, and he took it upon himself to humiliate me in front of everybody.
βThis isnβt high school anymore, Ms. Albright,β he boomed. βIf you canβt do the reading, then you donβt belong here.β
It was only second period, and I was already pissed and ready for this day to end.
Finally, when the class was over, I rushed out only to bump into someone again. My books went flying all over the hallway floor.
βFor fuckβs sake. Canβt anyone watch where theyβre going? Asshole,β I mumbled, and then I started picking up my stuff from the ground without bothering to look up at whoever Iβd hit.
βWell, thatβs pretty harsh considering you bumped into me. You should watch where youβre going next time,β he replied cockily. The nerve! I looked up to see who it was and my jaw dropped.
It was Mr. Brown Eyes, looking somehow even hotter than yesterday. Holy fuck! What was it with me and bumping into this guy? It was almost like fate or something. Except for the part where I just cursed him out.
I mumbled a sorry, quickly collected my things, and started to hurry away.
βWait,β he called, making me stop in my tracks. βI bumped into you yesterday, right?β
So, he does remember.
βYes, you did,β I said in a stern tone with a matching straight face.
βThen I guess weβre even. Also, I didnβt have a chance to say sorry yesterday; I was in a hurry to get to my class. Iβm sorry.β He seemed sincere and flashed me a bright smile that showcased his straight, white teeth.
I could barely hang onto a word he said; I was too busy thinking about what it would be like to kiss those plump lips. Something was seriously wrong with me. βHuh?β I managed.
βI said Iβm sorry,β he repeated, the friendly smile turning into a smirk.
βItβs fine. I should get going,β I rushed out. I needed to escape before I could humiliate myself further.
βIβm Jake.β He reached out his hand to stop me from leaving and offered a handshake.
βUhhβ¦Iβm Ashley. You can call me Ash or Ashley; I donβt mind,β I babbled out as I shook his hand.
He smiled, and I swear I saw a dimple. Seriously, who was this hot guy and why was he still talking to me?
βIβll see you around then, Ashley.β He stressed my name while looking straight into my eyes before walking away.
Slut, whispered Alexβs voice in my head. Right on cue. I did my best to shove it aside as I watched Jakeβs incredible ass walking away.
