Rachel
Auteur
Aalia Waqas
Lezers
132K
Hoofdstukken
27
Rachelâs father disappeared when she was three. Now, after her Nannaâs death, sheâs sent to Jameson Institute according to her fatherâs wishes. She has many unanswered questions as she struggles to fit in at the mysterious orphanage. But as she gradually makes friends and starts to build a life, she discovers not only the shocking truth about her fatherâbut also danger.
Age Rating: 18+
Chapter 1
Her lips were trembling. She clenched her fists and ground her teeth before she heard him whisper, âYou okay?â
Rachel didnât quite remember how it happened, just that she was fending off tears one second, and her hand was connecting with Gavinâs jaw the next.
Everyone in the church fell silent, waiting to see what would happen next.
âWarned you,â she muttered and walked away, wringing her hand as if that would make it hurt less.
Eyes followed her out the door and lingered there for a few seconds after she slammed it shut.
She stayed outside until the procession headed to the graveyard, then she stayed in the background and disappeared as soon as the guests started to leave.
Sheâd punched her best friend square in the jaw and watched him stagger backward and fall on his butt. She lifted up her thin, delicate hand to inspect the bruises that had already begun forming.
Sighing, already regretting what sheâd done, Rachel sat down heavily on the stone bench. She zipped up her jacket and pulled out her phone and scrolled mindlessly through Instagram.
Nate Marvin spent the entire afternoon after the funeral looking for his goddaughter.
After apologizing to Gavinâs parents and attending the burial of Rachelâs nanny, he scoured the churchyard and the graveyard for her but couldnât find her anywhere.
He gave up and decided to wait in his car until she decided to show up.
Heâd just shut the car door and was blowing into his clenched fists to warm his freezing hands when the passenger-side door opened, and Rachel took her seat, buckling her seatbelt.
âRachel?â Nate spoke softly.
There was a brief moment of eye contact, then she averted her eyes and busied her hands with untangling her earphones. She promptly shut him out.
If she tried really hard, it would feel like a regular argument with her godfather, and it wouldnât be as bad as the biting reality of her life right now.
Nanna was dead, and there was no place else to go.
Rachel did everything in her power to avoid conversation with Nate. The second they were home, she rushed upstairs and slammed the door shut.
Nate shrugged and sat down heavily on the sofa. He threw his head back and had closed his eyes for barely a second when his phone rang.
âHello,â he answered.
âHey, man. Soââ began the voice from the other end.
âWhat?â
âHowâs she taking it?â
âOh, she hates the place.â He laughed lightly, rubbing his fists in his eyes.
âAlready?â
âThat was the least she could do.â
âYeah, I guess. See you tomorrow?â
âMaybe not tomorrow⌠Sheâs not quite ready yet.â
âYeah, I guess not.â
âIs this a good idea? She can come with me to D.C., stay with me and HannahâŚâ
âI donât think itâs safe anymore.â
âAll right⌠Iâll see what I can do to get her to start packing.â
âThanks.â
âShut up.â
Hannah emerged from the kitchen with two glasses of whiskey in her hands and offered him one. He took it gratefully.
***
Rachel lay in bed, restless and somewhat scared. The ceiling was too blank.
She narrowed her eyes and tried to figure out how difficult it would be to paint something on it.
That way, when her head was full of noise, it wouldnât play out before her like a movie every time she looked up at the white ceiling.
She exhaled a long, tired, bored-as-hell kind of exhalation as the last three days of her life began their slow progression before her.
THREE DAYS AGO
Gavin dropped her off, and Rachel threw a comment at him that made him roll his eyes. From the window, Nate watched the scene outside and tried to think of how to give Rachel the news.
He saw her smiling and laughing with her best friend as she stepped out of the car, insulting him the way only best friends could before climbing up the steps.
He hadnât seen her that happy for a while now.
Rachel bounded inside. âSup, Nathaniel?â
âThatâs not even my name,â Nate answered weakly.
âWell, it should be.â Rachel tossed her bag onto the sofa before turning toward him. She straightened up. âNateâŚâ
It was written all over his face. It was so obvious that she was shocked she hadnât felt it before. The whole atmosphere of the house reeked of⌠Death.
Rachelâs mouth opened and closed helplessly before she ran to Nannaâs room. Her shout echoed through the otherwise silent house, and Nate closed his eyes and followed her slowly.
She was just standing there, motionless. Her gaze was fixed on the empty bed. Nannaâs room felt barren without all the medical supplies that used to fill it.
Everything had been cleared out before Rachel had come home.
âWhere is she?â Her voice was shaky.
âThey took her away toââ Nate hadnât finished his sentence when Rachel turned around and shoved him out of the way, running into the opposite room.
The door slammed shut behind her, and she leaned against it. Tears streamed down her face, and they refused to ceaseâcontinuous, wet, hot, and painful.
She yelled and squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears just wouldnât stop.
She wiped her eyes for the millionth time and picked up the first thing that she could grasp. It was a glass of water.
She flung it across the room. The water arced out of the glass and landed on the floor, and the glass crashed into the wall above her bedpost, shattering into pieces.
It felt good.
She picked up the next tangible item that her hands could wrap themselves around, a trophy that sheâd won a few years back in the school chess competition.
Off it went, sailing gracefully through the air until it met the blue-gray wall where the glass had crashed a few seconds ago.
It broke apart, the giant king piece splitting into four smaller parts, scattering across the carpet.
She huffed in frustration, and her eyes searched the room, looking for something else. Anything would do.
The pillows hit the floor, the shoes on her feet got lost somewhere in the chaos, and every bottle of perfume on her table was soon thrown and suddenly acquainted with the floor.
Rachel stalked past the mirror and froze. A helpless whimper escaped her lips, and she felt a pang of self-loathing at her pathetic condition.
Her trembling hands reached into her hair and grabbed it. She tugged, hard. âGet a freaking grip on yourself, Fayne!â
***
Rachel woke up sometime after seven p.m., surrounded by complete darkness. She blinked a few times before pushing herself off the bed, swinging her legs down, and standing up.
She let out a surprised yell when something dug into her bare feet. Gasping for breath, she brought one foot up and tried to brush off whatever had been digging into her skin.
She hopped on one foot for balance, and her other foot stepped on something jagged as well, causing her to lose her balance and crash to the floor.
The light flickered on, and she heard Nateâs voice. âRachelâOH MY GOD!â He rushed over and helped her up. When she yelped, he realized that her feet were injured.
He pulled aside the blanket that was covered in broken glass and made her sit down before inspecting the room.
Broken fragments of glass were scattered everywhere. Splotches of blood decorated the floor, and Rachelâs arms and legs were caked in blood.
Nate eyed her wearily before leaving the room and returning with the first aid box.
She was quiet as he patched her up, hissing every now and then and biting back a yell, but she refused to make any conversation.
âTalk to me.â
âWhatâs there to say?â
âMind explainingââ Nate gestured vaguely, motioning toward the mess in the room and the limbs he was now bandaging.
âSure! Nothinâ to it. I had a bit of a meltdown, aaand during said meltdown, I threw stuff around and then slept in the mess I made after I had completely exhausted myself.â
Rachel finished off with a thin-lipped smile and a nonchalant shrug. âI bet your evening wasnât as eventful as mine.â
âNope.â He snorted. âI spent the entire time waiting for you, princess.â
She knew what he was trying to do. As soon as she eased into regular conversation with him, heâd want to âtalk about her feelings.â She wasnât having any of that. âIâm hungry.â
âI ordered Chinese. Itâll be here any minute.â
An hour later, Rachel sat opposite her godfather at the dining table and picked at her food. After about ten minutes, Nate broke the silence.
âWe need to talkâŚâ
âAbout my feelings? No, thanks.â She finally took a bite.
âHoney⌠Now that Nannaâs gone, weââ
âDonât.â Her attempt to sound menacing failed rather miserably.
ââhave to discuss living arrangements,â he finished.
Oh. Thatâs okay. âOh⌠I guess Iâm coming with you to D.C.?â
âNotâŚreallyâŚâ
The tone of Nateâs voice was a dead giveaway of something horrible to come.
âThen?â
âThereâs this place called Jameson Instituteââ
âFor the mentally insane?â she quipped.
âNo, smartass. Itâs sort of aâŚbackup plan.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âYour dadââ
A laugh bubbled up, and Rachel made no attempt to stifle it. âThis conversation ends here. I literally do not care about what my old man had planned for me.
âIâll pack my stuff and go with you and never look back at this horrid place till the day I die. Iâll pack tonight, even.â
âRachelâŚâ
She pushed her plate away. âIâm not hungry anymore.â
She left the table and headed for the front door, grabbing her jacket on the way.
âWhere are you going?â
âOut.â
She wasnât thinkingâŚnot really. She walked out of the house, and the second the icy wind greeted her, she was running. She wasnât headed anywhere in particular, justâaway.
Her feet pounded the pavement. Her wounds started bleeding again, and she ran until she nearly collapsed. She walked slowly to the park and nearly fell down as she approached an old oak tree.
It was the same oak tree that she and Gavin had spent years chasing each other around. The tree had a rickety fence around it, and she tried to lean against it.
It gave way, and her view of the swings was replaced with the dense mass of leaves and branches above. She sighed.
Despite the machines and the medicine that had barely kept Nanna alive, Rachel had hoped. Sheâd thought that as long as Nanna was breathing, respondingâŚnothing else mattered.
The doctor whoâd visited almost daily and the nurse whoâd accompanied him had always talked to Rachel like she was an adult.
Theyâd told her the harsh, bitter truth but simultaneously pumped her full of hope with the number of maybes, probablys, and slight improvements they talked about every day.
Liars. The lot of them.
Rachel was in denial. The fact that Nanna was gone was a tough pill to swallow, and maybe she hadnât truly registered it.
Sheâd been running away from the very thought since morning. She was avoiding something that part of her already knew was true⌠But she couldnât just accept it.
Sheâd cried more than she ever had in her entire life, but it still didnât seemâŚenough.
She pulled out her phone and dialed Gavin.
âHey, dummy!â Gavin yelled over the noise of his younger brothers screaming at something.
âHey, GavâŚâ
âWhoa. Did you fail a test?â
âUmmâŚâ She took a breath. âNannaâs gone.â
There was a beat of silence. âShit.â There wasnât anything else he could say to her.
âYeahâŚâ
âWhere are you right now?â
âRemember that park where we used to hang out till you fell in love with your Xbox?â
âRachel, itâs nine oâclock. What are you doing there?â
âItâs a bit of a long storyâŚâ
âIâm cominâ.â
Gavin would get in trouble for leaving the house at this hour, especially since his father was out of town. âNo, no! Donât⌠Iâm a mess right now.â
He laughed. âYouâre always a mess, genius. Iâm not your boyfriend; your hairâs fine.â
Gavin showed up in record time, carrying with him a brown paper bag. He sat down cross-legged in front of her and took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze.
âHeyâŚâ
The next thing she knew, she was a sobbing mess, and Gavin was holding her up. He didnât say much, but he didnât necessarily have to.
Rachel had never been big on physical contact, but she needed it now more than ever, and Gavin would stay here until she could breathe without hiccupping in between.
He stroked her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder, mumbling, âIt isnât fairâ on repeat until she calmed down.
They were silent once more, then Rachel pointed to the bag. âWhatâs in that?â Her voice was thick.
âDinner. Mom made lasagna.â
âI love you.â She wiped her eyes.
Gavin smirked. âI donât.â
She shook her head and cleared her throat, obviously analyzing her behavior and feeling embarrassed.
Gavin broke into her thoughts the way he always did. âAll right. Now eat so I can take you home and then get back and sneak into my room before my mom realizes Iâm gone.â
He was helping her up when Nateâs car slowed to a stop outside the park. He got out and nodded at Gavin, thankful.
âCan I have a minute with her, Nate?â Gavin asked.
Nate shrugged. âHey, at least she talks to you.â
Gavin shifted his gaze to his best friend, who was busy picking at a fraying bandage. âRachelâŚâ
âWhat?â It came off more annoyed than she intended it to be.
âCut him some slack. Apologize.â
Her brow furrowed, and she glared at him.
He smiled. âYou know Iâm right.â
âGo away,â she muttered.
âAll right, all right. Iâm leaving.â He gave her one last, pointed look before getting into his truck and driving off.
Rachel got into the car and sighed. âTell me more about Jameson.â
Nate glanced in the rearview mirror in time to see the taillights from Gavinâs truck disappear around the block and made a mental note to thank the kid the next time he saw him.
He started the car and put it into gear.
He pondered over his answer. âItâs a place for kids like you.â
âKids like⌠Iâve got superpowers?â She feigned surprise.
âNo, I meanâŚâ
âOrphans?â
âYeah.â
âYouâre sending me to an orphanage instead of taking me with you?â Her anger was back in no time.
âRachel, itâs what your father wanted.â
She fought off the urge to roll her eyes. Why did it matter what the dead man wanted?
She lowered her voice. âWhat about what I want?â she asked.
âListen to me. Itâs more than just an orphanage, okay? Itâs a good place,â he offered.
âSo, a good orphanage instead of a regular one?â she asked.
âItâs a project your father funded. He and a bunch of his colleagues and friends worked on it.
âA safe space for their kids in case things were to go sideways,â Nate explained, turning the corner onto their street.
âRight. Davis Fayneâs grand plan for his daughter was to go to a glorified orphanage if plan A, hiring a nanny, failed,â she argued.
âIf thatâs how you choose to look at it, then yes.â
âHe abandoned me! He abandoned you too!â
âHe disappeared. Heâs probably dead,â Nate mumbled as he pulled into the driveway. He shut off the engine.
âHe better be,â Rachel said, and stormed off. Again.
It was a little past midnight when she went back downstairs and saw her godfather sitting on the sofa, flicking through channels.
She went into the kitchen and busied herself with making some coffee, then she quietly went up to him and handed him the mug, sitting down beside him.
âReady to talk?â he asked after taking a tentative sip.
âI donât think I ever will be.â
âCoffeeâs good.â
âThanks.â Talking to Nate was never a hard thing to do. He was the father figure of her life and a friend. He was a busy man, but he made time for her and was there when it counted.
Even if he hadnât been, Nanna had.
It was quiet for a few more minutes.
âItâs like someoneâs yanked the ground from beneath my feet, and theyâre really getting a kick out of my not knowing what to do. And itâs not a good feeling.â She put her head on his shoulder.
âI still canât wrap my head around it, bud. I mean, I know, butâŚitâs sort of easy to dismiss. Like if we could just pretend sheâs still there.â
âI donât even miss her yet.â
âI guess itâll get more real in a day.â
Rachel let out a heavy breath. âThe funeral?â
âYeah. Hannahâs flying out tonight. Sheâll help with the arrangements. I guess Iâll be making the calls.â
âWhat about me?â
âI need you to pack.â
Rachel closed her eyes. âButââ
âListen, youâre going to have to pack in any case, D.C. or Jameson. Although right now, sleep if you can.â
âWhy do you think Iâm drinking coffee with you, old man?â
Nate shook his head. âWanna see Bruce Willis blow stuff up?â
âIâm game.â
Rachel drifted off by the time Nate left to pick up his fiancĂŠe from the airport, and when he returned, sheâd retreated to her room.
