Seaside Series Book 5
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Rachel Van Dyken
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Prologue
Alec
The first time I shot up heroin, I was fourteen. We were on tour and I'd been partying with the band for the past few weeks, but they'd never given me any hard drugs. They said I was too young.
To hell with that, I had thought as I grabbed the needle and asked what I needed to do. They had laughed for a few minutes, but they ended up showing me when I didn't back down.
Drug addicts don't forget.
The human body is incredible in the way it stores memories, the way it stores feelings.
People who lose limbs often have phantom feelings in their extremities even though the limb is no longer present.
Doctors can't really explain it — I guess it's just another one of those things we simply accept. You lose a hand… you'll still feel pain even though it's not there.
If you ask me, that's pretty screwed up. I mean, how bad does it suck, that the one thing causing you pain is gone? Yet the pain remains?
The same thing happens with drugs. Even when you're not on them anymore, you can still feel the effects of them. You still crave them.
The most dangerous part about any drug isn't the physical addiction, though some may argue that, it's the mental dependency.
And all of a sudden, the craving appears out of nowhere.
But you don't.
Nat would kill me.
I'd been in therapy for weeks leading up to our wedding. What type of guy did that make me? That I'd actually needed therapy in order to be whole enough to marry the girl I loved?
Whatever. I'd go every day of my life if that meant I could be with her. I just hated when I felt weak. And I felt weak when my body craved drugs. I felt weak when it craved her.
Nat said I needed to learn how to let go.
Right.
If you looked up OCD in the dictionary my name would be next to the definition.
I breathed in and out for a few seconds as I waited at the end of the aisle. It felt like I was standing overlooking the edge of a cliff, and the minute I saw my future wife, I was going to freefall.
The music started.
Shit, I was seriously going to pass out.
People stood, Demetri nodded his head and patted me on the back.
And then I saw her.
It was like seeing her for the first time all over again. Memories of meeting her that first day of school had me grinning from ear to ear.
The local girl, who didn't even know who I was the first time she saw me, fell for me. And in return, gave me her heart for safekeeping. I ached to touch her as she walked slowly down the aisle.
Her brown eyes met mine. And I lost it. Every single fear that I was holding on to snapped.
Forget drugs.
Forget needing to calm down.
I couldn't stop my heart from beating out of my chest, and I didn't want to. I just wanted to touch her, to tell her how pretty she was in her white dress.
