The Universe of Discretion: Theo's Gift
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Michael BN
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Chapter 1
The only reason I wasn’t saying anything was because my parents were trying so hard. They just didn’t understand that doing things we used to do with Theo just made me miss him more.
I lost my older brother to meningitis that no fucking doctor had been able to catch on time. His death could have been avoided, but fate had other plans.
It just sucked, it fucking sucked.
The Elysium Resort in Cancun, Mexico had been our holiday destination since Theo and I were toddlers. The staff knew us all by name and treated us like royalty.
This summer, Mom and Dad wanted to visit the hotel one more time to celebrate all the good memories it had given us over the years.
The last few years before Theo’s…sometimes, I wouldn’t even let myself say it…before Theo’s death, my parents would spend their days on the golf course, followed by the bar.
My brother and I would go swimming, play tennis, snorkel in the sea, or visit the arcade.
Right now, I didn’t feel like doing any of them.
“You’re sure that you don’t mind us playing a few holes of golf?” Dad asked.
We were inspecting the huge breakfast buffet. The items were the same every year, yet we always checked to see if there was anything new.
“Positive,” I said, honestly. “You and Mom deserve some chill time.”
“What will you do?”
“Probably go swimming,” I lied.
“Shall we meet up for an early dinner?” Dad asked. “We can go to the place that… No, sorry. How about El Cuerno?”
“Sure,” I said, hanging an arm over my dad’s shoulder. We were all still struggling in our own way.
***
I first saw him in the elevator after breakfast. Mom and Dad were planning their day, and I was on my phone. He got in on the lobby level and pressed number seven.
A mop of brown hair and hazel eyes rested above a cute nose and full lips. His tight white shirt covered a strong torso with matching arms. I wasn’t a big fan of feet, but his looked like an Insta pic in a pair of black flip flops.
“Excuse me,” he said politely to my dad. How could I both want to be standing next to him and be grateful that I wasn’t?
Our rooms were on the ninth floor, so when he got out of the elevator, he held up a hand and said, “Have a good one!”
Luckily, my dad said, “You too.”
My mind was still stuck on the guy’s kind eyes.
I’d planned to stay in the room, but it didn’t take long for me to get bored. At first, I didn’t want to do anything that would remind me too much of Theo, but I quickly realized that maybe my parents were right.
This place was full of some of our happiest family memories. Perhaps I should honor my brother with a tour of his favorite spots.
I grabbed my AcuTab, knowing exactly where I wanted to go. It would be the perfect place for some prime people-watching.
***
I sat on the wall facing a poolside full of wannabe influencers and socialites. Some of the girls’ fake boobs were the perfect inspiration for my anime characters.
I made sure not to stare, even though the female body didn’t interest me at all. Apart from a purely artistic perspective, of course.
Theo used to sit right here, pointing out all the girls he liked. When he asked me, I’d pick someone at random and repeat the things he’d said about their bodies.
On our last vacation together in this hotel, I finally scraped up the courage to tell him. I picked out a guy and started to describe him. Theo first looked in the crowd and then at me.
His mouth formed a silent question which he never spoke.
Instead, he grabbed me with a strong arm and rubbed my head with a fist.
“You know I love you, don’t you?” was all he’d said.
The topic didn’t come up again, but I soon noticed that he wasn’t using any more queerphobic language. He even gave his friends a hard time whenever they made stupid jokes.
Theo never made me feel ashamed for being who I was. He was the best brother anyone could wish for, and now he was gone.
“Hola, Andrew! How are you?” a familiar voice asked from behind me.
Pedro was the poolside Food and Beverage supervisor, and we had known each other for a long time.
“I’m so sorry to hear about Theodore,” he said with his hand over his heart.
“Yeah,” I said, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.
He’d been the third person today to give me their condolences.
The General Manager of the hotel had even sent a massive bouquet of Cempoalxochitl flowers to the funeral.
Pedro immediately started telling one of his favorite stories of how he’d rescued Theo from the deep end of the pool once. I’d heard him tell it a thousand times over, so I kind of phased out.
Wait, who was that? Ooh, it was him again!
He was wearing a pair of mirror sunglasses, and it seemed like he was looking straight at me. I watched him pull his shirt over his head before stepping out of his shorts.
He was wearing a pair of electric blue Speedos with quite the bulge. “Andrew?” Pedro said, looking at me expectantly.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, snapping back to reality.
“Can I get you anything? A peach smoothie maybe?”
Peach smoothies were Theo’s favorite, but I wasn’t going to bite Pedro’s head off for suggesting it. “I’d like that,” I said with my best attempt at a smile.
The moment Pedro left, my attention shot back to Speedo guy, but he was gone. My eyes darted around looking for him when he suddenly pulled himself up and out of the water right in front of me.
I saw him quickly slip a hand into his Speedos to “adjust” himself. When he looked up to see if anyone had caught him, his gaze suddenly fixed on me.
Fuck!
“Hey,” he said, casually combing his fingers through his wet hair.
Of course, I froze and just stared at him. Apparently, he found my reaction amusing because he smiled before diving back into the pool.
I was such a fucking idiot! All I had to do was say, “Hey” back and all of this would have seemed like a normal interaction.
Instead, he probably thought that I was a weirdo or worse yet…that I’d been staring at him deliberately!
One part of me wanted to flee, but the other insisted on watching him emerge on the other side. I saw his head rise out of the water and slowly turn around.
His eyes found mine, and I instinctively jumped out of my chair. Grabbing my stuff, I fast-walked toward the lobby.
“Andrew?!” Pedro said, coming after me with a tray. I grabbed my drink and hastily signed the check.
“Are you okay?” he asked with a look of concern. “I’m fine,” I snapped at him, immediately regretting it.
***
I was back in the cool comfort of my air-conditioned room, distracting myself with my drawing. The character I’d taught myself to draw from an online video was particularly complex.
It had taken me three days just to do the outline. Meanwhile, I thought about my encounter with Speedo guy and all the ways I could’ve made it less embarrassing.
Before I knew it, my mind conjured other things. Things that I hadn’t allowed myself to feel for a long time.
I imagined him standing under the shower, his Speedos lying discarded on the tile floor. He was rubbing body gel all over his hairless chest and abs, his hands slowly moving toward…
My heart was racing. How was this guy managing to break through my rock-solid state of sorrow?
