Wolves of the West

HAVEN

Logan stared at my face, opening and closing his mouth several times before clearing his throat. “So, Sweden, eh? Good thing you’re a blonde.”

I made sure my voice was stronger this time. “Logan, what is a mate?”

Logan sighed and ran his hands over his face. “A mate is like a soul mate.”

“A soul mate? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Logan gave me a flat look. “Every wolf has a mate. Your mate is the perfect match for you, the only one who can balance the good and the bad.”

His eyes stared into mine. “You are paired with your mate because of your genes. When you have a child together, your genetic makeup should produce a strong, healthy child.”

“You’re telling me that I have to have children with you?” I bit my tongue from saying any more. I had to remember that I was in a room full of other people—normal people.

Logan shook his head. “No, well, yes—but there is more to it than that. A mate completes you; the bond between two mates is strong, it’s—magical, for lack of a better word. Our destinies are intertwined, Haven. There is no escaping destiny.”

I lowered my head onto the desk, trying to absorb what I was hearing. “You mean that I don’t have a choice in who I want to marry? I’ll never get to fall in love the old-fashioned way?”

Logan looked pained. “Why would you want that, though? Now that you have me, don’t you feel a connection?”

I looked up at him. “Connection? What connection am I supposed to be feeling? The only thing I feel are these goddamned sparks every time I touch you. Other than that, I feel nothing.”

Logan flinched. “You’re lying.”

I shrugged and turned my face away, not wanting to see him anymore.

“Haven, tell me that you’re lying.”

I looked back to see his eyes starting to turn red at the rim. I could feel the physical pull toward him.

The raw need to comfort him, to assure him that everything was going to be fine. I fought it.

“I’m not lying, Logan. I mean every word. I feel more of a connection to Jude than I do to you.”

The words felt false in my mouth, as if it weren’t really me saying them. I didn’t mean anything I was saying, I just couldn’t handle the information I had just learned.

Logan gritted his teeth together and slammed his fist on the desk. “You. Are. Mine.”

I recoiled. “I’m not your possession, Logan, I’m not your anything, and I will never be.”

Logan looked at me and I watched as his eyes grew darker.

“I will show you, Haven, I will show you that we are meant to be together. No one disrespects their alpha, and no one betrays their mate.”

He got up and stormed out of the room, ignoring Mr. Gades when he called for him to come back.

I stared after him, trying to process everything. I was only mildly aware that my hands were shaking.

Deacon walked over to me and took the seat Logan had been occupying moments before.

“So, you two are mates, eh?” Deacon laughed and laced his fingers behind his head.

I growled at him in response. “Go away, Deacon.”

“I can’t resist, not after that juicy conversation. Gotta love wolf hearing, eh?”

I gave him a sharp look. “To be honest, I wouldn’t know.”

“What do you mean, you wouldn’t know?” Deacon asked, leaning forward in his chair.

I shrugged. “I don’t have any enhancements when I’m a human.”

Deacon’s jaw dropped open. “What do you mean? It’s a part of who we are, Haven; it gives us the ability to outsmart our enemies, no matter what shape we are in. You can’t hear better, or smell better, or see better?”

I shrugged and looked away. “Not really. I mean in wolf form, sure—but not as a human.”

Deacon looked dumbfounded. “Does Logan know this?”

“Why would I confide in Logan? I hardly know him, and I don’t like the parts I do,” I snapped.

Deacon smirked. “Seems like that’s a touchy subject—the whole mate thing. I guess you didn’t know much about the magic of the mating ceremony did you? What a pity, now you’re really in for it.”

I bit my lip, rising to his bait. “What do you mean I’m ‘in for it’?”

Deacon laughed. “You don’t mess with the mating process, Haven, and that’s exactly what you’re doing. Gallivanting with Jude, another male wolf.”

He wagged a finger. “Tsk, tsk, what a naughty she-wolf you are. I wouldn’t imagine that would make your mate very happy now would it? And you don’t want to mess with your mate.”

I scoffed, eager to shake off whatever truth was behind his words. I told myself that Deacon was only teasing me.

“I barely know him, maybe we can just go back to not knowing each other.”

Deacon laughed again. “You really know nothing. Your mating with Logan has already begun; it started with that oh-so-important eye contact, it’s kind of a trigger you know?”

He rolled his eyes and grinned. “Since Logan is your soulmate, and the eyes are the window to the soul, it makes sense that eye contact would kick everything off, don’t you think?”

My eyes widened. “What do you mean, my mating with Logan?”

Deacon pretended to inspect his nails and propped his feet up on a chair in front of him.

“Well, he’s got to claim you, obviously. Can’t have other male wolves sniffing about, you’ll be a hot commodity soon, my dear. Alpha mates are the strongest.”

Claim me?

Panic started to claw its way up my throat.

“I don’t want him to claim me! I don’t want to have anything to do with Logan, or the pack!”

Deacon smirked again. “The longer you put off accepting Logan, the worse it will be for you in the end.”

“Why would it be worse?”

Deacon laughed, but it was not a happy sound. “He is an alpha, they’re territorial by nature. Alphas get what they want, and if they don’t, they get mad.”

He winked at me. “If I were you, I would watch myself, because Logan does not like to be messed with. Happy mating.”

With that, he turned back to Christine, leaving my head spinning.

I walked numbly to the cafeteria and headed toward Jude’s table. He smiled when he saw me approach but didn’t say anything.

“Jude?” My voice broke as I spoke, and I mentally cursed myself for sounding weak, needy.

Jude glanced up at me, distracted. “Yeah, Haven?”

“C-can I speak with you? Alone, maybe o-outside?” I stuttered and shifted my posture nervously, my eyes scanning the room for Logan.

Jude finally realized how distressed I was and stood up, then took my hand and led me out of the cafeteria. I followed without question, feeling nauseous.

Finally, we were out in open space, and I was able to breathe. Jude pulled me along, and we sat down underneath a large tree in front of the school.

Although we were sitting down, we kept our hands intertwined.

“So? What’s got you all muddled then?” Jude asked, giving my hand a quick squeeze. It was crazy how quickly I felt comforted. I assumed this was his role as peacemaker taking over.

I bit my lip and looked down at the ground. “You’re a werewolf.”

Jude took a deep breath and ran his free hand through his blonde hair. “Yes, I am.”

“You never told me.”

Jude chuckled. “No, I didn’t. So how did you find out?”

“Logan told me. Why didn’t you?”

Jude released my hand. “I’ve only known you a few days, Haven. Sure, you’re a nice girl, but I can’t trust you yet.”

“But I’m a werewolf, too!”

Jude looked pained. “I wasn’t sure if you even knew what you were; you just seemed so naive. Another werewolf would have sniffed me out in an instant, but you didn’t seem to realize anything was off. It was weird.”

“I just can’t believe this. I can’t believe you’re a werewolf; it’s insane. I thought I was alone.”

Jude grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye.

“You are not alone, Haven Mathie,” he said. “You were never alone. There is a whole pack here, and they're waiting for you with open arms. You’re among friends in this town.”

I snorted, trying to brush off my uneasiness. “I don’t know about that.”

Jude’s forehead creased. “Why do you say that?”

I was silent for a minute before I said, “Jude, do you know about mates?”

A look of pain flashed across Jude’s face; he released my hand and moved away from me. “I know about mates, alright.”

I reached out to him but he just moved back.

“Logan said he’s my mate,” I said.

More pain flashed in his eyes. “I know he is.”

I recoiled. “You knew Logan was my mate?”

Jude nodded. “I’ve known since your first day here, Haven. You two made it painfully obvious.”

I swallowed hard. “Deacon said Logan would be angry with me if I didn’t mate with him. Do you think he’d hurt me?”

In my mind, I pictured a wolf taking down a deer. I swallowed thickly.

Jude scoffed. “You can’t hurt your mate, Haven. Give Logan more credit than that. Are you really going to believe Deacon?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I told you, Logan can be a nice guy. He’s an alpha—if anything he is more in control than anyone. He’s got to be.”

Now I felt stupid. “Oh, right.”

Jude stared at me. “He’ll be a good mate for you, Haven.”

I felt tears well up in my eyes. Panic was once again taking over. “I don’t want to be his mate.”

And I didn’t. I might have had a romantic idea of winning over a bad boy, but I didn’t want to be stuck with one for the rest of my life.

Jude froze. “You don’t want your mate?”

I shook my head. “No! No, I don’t. He’s an egotistical jerk face who thinks he owns me. Who would want that?”

I drew in a shaking breath. “All this mate stuff is absolute garbage, and I won’t accept it.”

Jude’s expression went from sympathetic to enraged in a matter of seconds.

“Why wouldn’t you want your mate? Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and suck it up. You could do a lot worse than an alpha! Jesus, Haven, you are such a brat!”

I froze in my place, my eyes wide. I had never seen Jude so angry, I had never seen him stray so far from his usual cool composure.

What had happened to being a peacemaker? Tears rose hot and fast as he turned and walked away, not caring that he had hurt me.

I’d needed a friend, and I’d been foolish enough to think Jude would be there for me.

He was right. We’d only known each other for a few days, and whatever trust I had felt had been because of his role in the pack, not out of fondness for me.

I got up and walked back into the school, feeling lost and a little hopeless. I stumbled through the doors and looked around the cafeteria.

Jude wasn’t there, and neither was Rachel. Unfortunately, Logan was there, and as soon as I entered his eyes were on me.

I choked back a sob and turned around, fleeing from the cafeteria and down the halls.

I ran outside, through with wondering what I should do next.

I could stay in school and suffer for the rest of the day, or I could skip, and let loose in the woods behind my house. Lose myself for a little bit.

“Haven!” I turned around and saw Logan storming toward me, looking angry.

I turned away and was about to bolt when he grabbed my hand and spun me around, his expression softening when he saw that I was crying.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Why are you crying?”

I wiped at my cheeks and sniffed before shrugging.

“Haven, who’s done this to you? Who made you cry?” He was getting angrier and angrier by the second.

“You.”

He froze, and I took that to my advantage. I ripped my arm from his hold and ran toward my house.

It was a fifteen-minute drive, but in wolf form, I could get there in five. I ran for the woods across the road and shifted, leaving my clothes in shreds behind me.

A few hours later, the dinner I had prepared was warming in the oven, and I was just waiting for my aunt to come home.

Not five minutes later, she did. I ran downstairs to meet her but immediately regretted it.

“Haven, what the hell is going on?” she cried, dropped her briefcase and scowling at me.

“What do you mean?”

She pursed her lips and held up her cell. “Why did you skip class this afternoon? You know you just can’t leave school!”

Shit. I bit my lip, “I wasn’t feeling well, and no one was answering the phone at your office!”

My aunt seemed to soften. “I have a cell phone, Haven. Why didn’t you try that?”

“I didn’t have the number.”

My aunt narrowed her eyes and stared at me, as if scanning my body for any lies. After a moment, she smiled, “Are you feeling better then?”

I nodded. “Much.”

“Perfect, I’m sorry for going all crazy there, I was just worried when the school called. I’m still getting used to being someone’s guardian.”

She stepped forward and dragged me into a hug, stroking my hair.

“Come on then, dinner’s just about ready.” She released me and helped me set the table and plate the food.

Unfortunately, I’d made too much lasagna for just the two of us, so I wrapped some up and stored it in the fridge for later. Just as we were about to eat, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it, you just eat,” Aunt Sarah said.

Suddenly, a weird feeling overcame me and I stood up. “No, no, I’ll get it!”

I sprinted from the kitchen to the front hallway and yanked open the door. Aunt Sarah trailed after me, despite my insistence that she didn’t need to.

“Haven, I said I would get it—oh! Hello there.” My aunt came and stood behind me, smiling over my shoulder.

“Hello there, I am here to check on Haven. I heard she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to make sure she was okay,” Logan said.

He threw my aunt a dazzling smile and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking charming and innocent and genuinely concerned.

My aunt smiled right back and readjusted her blouse. “How sweet of you. And what’s your name?”

Logan held out his hand for her to take. “Logan Evers, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you. I’m one of Haven’s classmates. We’re neighbors as well; I live just down the street.”

My aunt grinned. “How wonderful! Would you like to come in, Logan? We just started dinner.”

Logan looked at me and smirked.