Not all about You

Maya Hamilton

“Mr. Parker.” I see a flicker of discomfort cross his face at my formal tone. I sigh, taking a deep breath. “Jace. It’s been a while. Why are you teaching here?”

“Am I not allowed to teach here?” he retorts, a hint of irritation in his voice.

“No,” I respond, matching his tone.

His eyebrows knit together, puzzled by my hostility. I used to idolize him, after all.

“Is it just a crazy coincidence that you’re teaching here, at the college I chose after you left, or is this some kind of plan?”

“If you’ve forgotten, my mom lives in this district. I thought it would be nice to live and teach close to her, after spending so much time with my dad. But if you want to make everything about you, Maya, go ahead.”

A smirk spreads across his face as he leans back in his chair, looking pleased with himself. “I love how I still get to you, Maya. Even after almost two years.”

“You do,” I admit, surprising him. He expected me to play his mind games, his flirty little games. But I’m not the same person. Motherhood has changed me. He’s no longer my world.

My world is Maisie. My daughter. Everything I do is for her. That’s not going to change. It can’t. I love her more than anything.

“Listen, Jace, this is going to be our last conversation as…anything more than a professor and a student.

“We should have had this conversation a long time ago, when you broke up with me over text instead of, at the very least, a phone call.”

He swallows hard at my cold tone.

“Maya, I—”

“Honestly, I think your text summed up your feelings and reasons for breaking up with me pretty well. I get that you thought our age difference was too much.

“But…it felt like you thought our relationship was meaningless, that it was worth nothing more than a text.”

“You know it meant more—”

“But I didn’t,” I cut him off, looking him straight in the eye. “I didn’t know because you couldn’t even give me a phone call. It’s not like it was impossible—you had a working phone.

“I don’t want to waste any more words on the text, because I think it’s clear why you broke up with me that way. We need to act like adults.

“You’re my professor now, and I’m your student, until my transfer request goes through—”

“Transfer?” he interrupts, sitting up straight, alarm in his voice.

“I was distracted in just this one class by you. And yes, you still affect me. And yes, I still have feelings for you. But it’s a different kind of love now. I loved what we used to be.

“But I’ve grown up, and maybe you have too. We’re different people now. Our relationship is different.”

He blinks, stunned into silence, staring at me, searching my face for something.

I raise my eyebrows at him, but he just keeps staring at me like he’ll never see me again.

“I’ll get the transfer form to you by the end of the day. You can sign it and give it back to me tomorrow morning,” I say, breaking the silence that was starting to feel uncomfortable.

I give him a small, sad smile, adjust my bag on my shoulder, and start to leave. But he grabs my hand at the door, turning me back to face him.

“Maya…,” he whispers, his grip tightening around my wrist as he looks down at me.

I used to love how much taller he was than me. It made him seem older, stronger, more amazing. But now, as he looks down at me with those familiar eyes, I feel small, like I used to feel around him.

But my life isn’t about him anymore. It’s about Maisie. And technically, he’s her father.

“If you have nothing to say, let go of me,” I say, tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. “Let go.”

He leans in closer to me and, as much as I want to run, I can’t. I’m frozen in place. I can’t breathe. I can’t look away. And then his lips are on mine.

I melt into him. I don’t want to. But I can’t help it.

He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with. I had a few kisses before him, but he was the one. He is the one. But he left. And I have Maisie to think about.

My decisions have to be what’s best for her. Having Jace in her life could be a bad idea, as I decided years ago. But is that my decision to make?

Or, after all this time, is it still my decision to make?

I pull away quickly, hitting my head on the door behind me, but at least stopping this lapse in judgment.

I wince at the impact, but when I look into Jace’s eyes again, the pain seems to disappear.

But I force myself to blink it away, to blink him away. He’s my professor now, and that’s all he is.

I reach for the door handle, but he calls my name again. I have to ignore it. I have to leave.

I rush out of the classroom before anything else can happen, heading for the restroom to wipe away the tears I didn’t realize I’d shed.

Before I can get there, a group of people block my path.

“Are you crying?” a popular girl asks, her tone more mocking than sympathetic, a smirk on her face.

I wipe my cheeks with the sleeves of my oversized sweater and look at the group in front of me.

“You just came out of Parker’s classroom? What did that hottie say to make you cry?” another girl asks, hanging on one of the guys who was checking me out earlier in class.

I’ve been here a year now, and I know it’s pretty rude not to know everyone’s names. But between Maisie and school, I’ve got my hands full.

“Maya, right?”

The guy who was coughing earlier pipes up, leaning against the lockers with a grin that’s all too familiar. It’s the same kind of grin Jace used to flash when he was trying to charm me.

Honestly, he didn’t even need to try that hard. I was putty in his hands. But he wasn’t the type to take advantage of that. Sure, we had our fights, like any couple.

And yeah, there were times when his frat-boy tendencies would surface, and he’d flirt with other girls. But as far as I know, he never cheated on me. His friends were always amazed by that.

“Yeah,” I answer, trying to keep my annoyance in check. I’m not sure if it’s the constant interruptions or just seeing Jace—Mr. Parker—again that’s got me on edge.

“I need to get to my next class, so if you’ll excuse me,” I say, slipping past them before they can react.

I don’t get why they’re so interested in me. Ever since I became a mom, I’ve let myself go a bit.

I mean, I still take care of the basics—showering, brushing my teeth, eating when I can, buying what I need. But I’m still wearing my maternity clothes—baggy sweaters and jeans—and I don’t bother with makeup.

Between my two jobs, school, and taking care of Maisie, I barely get any sleep. I just pull my brown hair back into a ponytail or a quick bun to keep it out of the way.

I don’t know what they see in me that makes them keep trying to talk to me.

Maybe it’s because I don’t treat them like they’re the most popular kids in school. I used to hang out with people like that at my old school. That’s how I ended up at a frat party, and how I met Jace.

But I wouldn’t change anything, because I have Maisie. She’s my world, my everything.

Jace is her father, though. And now that he’s back, and I can actually reach out to him, should I tell him?