The Devil's Mercy

Mercy

Things have been super awkward between Eli and me lately. I mean, it might be more on my end than his, but it’s still a tough pill to swallow.

We haven’t spoken in the two weeks since our little outing.

Mom’s been asking about what happened. She thought it was a real date—I’m sure Cami put that idea in her head.

It’s not like anything happened. And it’s not like we’re close friends or anything.

He’s a porn star. A full-blown porn star who stars in adult films.

Who works with my mother. Who might have starred in films with my mother.

Gross!

I shudder at the thought.

He might have…appeared in a few of my dreams.

I need to get out of this house.

It’s the stress. I’m clearly losing my mind.

And I’m dealing with everything.

So it’s not like I’m planning to be friends with him. Besides, I don’t even need friends. I’m just embarrassed that Cami is spreading that rumor. To people I don’t know, but still.

I’ve been spending my time trying to get my life together. Cami calls it hiding, but I really am working on stuff. I’ve been getting out of the house and taking steps to move on from the past.

First step: I need a job.

I had an interview at a publishing company called Faze. I think it went well. I had to borrow money from my mother to get clothes suitable enough to wear.

That was a real blow to my pride. I’m a grown woman who had to ask her mom for money.

Of course, my mom didn’t mind, she was thrilled that I asked. She even came with me to help pick out clothes.

We first pulled up to a boutique, but I insisted we go to a chain store. There’s no way I’m spending five hundred dollars on a single outfit.

I told my mom I would pay her back, but she kept insisting that it was her treat. Then I had to ask her for a ride. And again, she was happy to help.

It felt like I was a kid. I left when I was sixteen and I didn’t even ask her for money or rides then. I took the bus and I had a job.

I actually called to see if maybe my old boss would let me come back. Mr. Yates is a nice guy, I loved working at Mr. Roboto’s Music Emporium.

He said to come in today and he’d work something out for me. That’s what’s on the agenda for today.

Get job.

Work said job.

Make money.

***

I get dressed and head down to my mom’s room to ask for another ride. I know she said to just tell the driver, but I still feel like it’s disrespectful not to ask first.

As soon as I open my door, Eli opens his.

We look at each other.

His jet-black hair is tousled to the side, flipped to keep it off his face. The sides have grown out since our outing.

There’s a shadow over his sharp jawline and high cheekbones from the stubble he hasn’t shaved.

The light-gray T-shirt hangs low on his collarbone, showing more of his colorful tattoos than usual. The color makes his eyes pop.

The black jeans are form-fitting—the belt doesn’t even seem necessary.

My brown eyes meet his light-blue ones.

You’re gawking again!

The smirk on his face snaps me out of the frozen daze I was in.

“Hey Mercy, long time no see.”

His deep baritone voice is laced with a cockiness that seems to be his signature. It draws my attention to his mouth.

Well, lips.

What is wrong with me?

Go to work! Get away from him!

“Uh, hey. Sorry, gotta go.”

I rush my words out. I stop my obvious awestruck staring and make a beeline for the door. I swing out of my room and take off down the hallway.

Get away from him. Fast.

I walk across the upstairs living room and into the beige hallway that connects my mom’s and Cami’s bedrooms. My stomach feels like it’s doing somersaults.

It was one small conversation. If you could even call it that. You are a grown woman, what is with this butterfly feeling?

I knock on Mom’s door and wait for her sweet voice.

“Come in,” she says from inside.

I open it and step in. I don’t shut the door, but leave only a small crack.

Mom’s room is definitely her personal space. Her walls are animal print, her waterbed covered with a bright neon-green sheet and sequined comforter set that matches her curtains and lampshades.

“Hey baby, whatcha need?” She looks up at me from slipping her lavender heels on.

“I was wondering if it would be okay, if not it’s fine, I just need a ride somewhere.”

My eyes roam around the room after I ask.

My mom’s face lights up and beams a smile at me. “Baby, I have told you—”

She gets cut off by the knock of a heavy-handed man. With his knock, the door pushes open, revealing Eli’s tall frame and piercing blue eyes. He clears his throat and waves sheepishly.

“Hey sweetheart, come on in.” My mom directs her attention to him. I don’t look at him, but I can feel his eyes.

“I just wanted to check to see when we’re leaving.” His dark voice makes my heart race.

What a jerk, coming in here. I know he knows I was here first.

“I’m actually going to be late, but you can go ahead. Would you mind dropping Mercy off with you?” She looks between us with a hopeful resolve.

“I’m fine. I’ll walk or something,” I rush out, and spin on my heels to get out of here.

Eli’s hand catches right below my elbow and stops me. “You’ve been hiding from me for two weeks, and now you won’t even take a ride somewhere. What did I do?”

A single piece of his thick black hair falls in his face.

“I have not been hiding from you. I’ve been busy.” My voice is high—even I can hear the tone change.

The boyish grin on his face has me gawking yet again.

“Why don’t you let me give you a lift, beautiful?” His gaze locks onto mine.

Feeling the grip he still has on my arm, I yank it away and step back.

“I’m good. Thanks,” I throw back at him as I make my exit.

It can’t be that far, can it?

I fish my phone out of my bag and punch in the address on Google.

Seventeen miles.

Damn it!

I could walk, but I’m not about to. I just can’t let him in on that.

Lately, I’ve been getting flustered and losing my train of thought whenever he’s around. It’s like his mere presence turns my brain into mush.

No one has ever had that effect on me. I don’t like it.

I need to concentrate on building my life. I’ve worked too hard to get here and to be independent. I’m not about to be some silly girl mooning over a jerk who happens to be a porn star.

I can admit Eli is…good-looking.

He’s supposed to be! That’s his job. It’s what he’s built his career on.

It’s just…I’ve never really paid attention to that sort of thing before.

I know, it sounds crazy. How could I go my whole life without finding someone attractive? I just don’t seem to feel that personal attraction.

I’ve noticed when others might be physically appealing, but I’ve never developed feelings for them.

I’ve never fantasized about... Never mind, forget I mentioned fantasizing about him.

In school, I never had boyfriends, or ever looked at a guy and thought how hot he was. It just never happened.

I mean, it’s never happened with girls either. I just didn’t seem to like anyone.

I had a few crushes, but they were on fictional characters!

I don’t know how to handle these feelings. I know I don’t want to act on them, and I want to keep my distance from him. I thought maybe we’d go back to see the fish, but I can’t risk it.

Cami might have spoiled it when she suggested us going on a real date.

Why, oh why, did he have to be the guy living across the hall? Why?!

I rush down the stairs, snatch my jacket from the coat rack and make it to the front door. I fling it open and step out.

I make it down the sidewalk and cut across the grass, walking past Eli’s flashy sports car and heading for the gate. I give the guard a friendly smile and pick up my pace.

I don’t want Eli driving past me going all slow. I want it to look like I’m really going to walk there. Like I really don’t want a ride.

Because I don’t! I’ll figure this out on my own.

I’ve walked three blocks when I hear a car slowing down next to me.

I mutter a curse under my breath and hope it’s not him. I’d rather have a creepy guy in a sketchy van trying to lure me in with candy and a puppy than see Eli’s smug face right now.

Sadly, no candy and puppy were offered.

Eli’s sleek black sports car crawls along next to me, his passenger window down as he calls out to me. “Mercy, come on. Hop in. I’ll give you a lift.”

“No thanks, stranger. I’m good.”

I quicken my pace, hoping he’ll give up.

Apparently, Lady Luck isn’t on my side today. Instead of giving up, Eli pulls up onto the sidewalk in front of me and gets out of his car.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Mercy, it’s about to pour. It’s just a ride. Not another date. Get in the car.”

He gestures towards the roof of his car that he’s currently leaning over.

I stare at him for a moment, then look around.

I could just run, but knowing my luck, I’d probably twist my ankle and Eli would end up carrying me back to his stupid car.

As I’m considering my options, the heavens open up and rain starts to fall as if God himself was watching and wanted to prove Eli right.

I groan and throw a mini tantrum as I shadow box the air. Stomping my feet like a toddler, I hurry to the passenger side. I get in with a huff and buckle up.

Eli manages to hide his laughter, but not the smug grin on his face.

“Shut up,” I grumble as he pulls off the sidewalk and back onto the road.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “So, beautiful, where to?” The sheer arrogance in his voice makes me want to tuck and roll out of this damn car.

“Take a left at the light.”

His smirk doesn’t fade. Much to my dismay.

“Then a right on South Wells and Cumberland.”

My last direction seems to catch him off guard. He glances at me, I can see him from the corner of my eye. The smirk’s gone.

Yes!

Wait—why?

“What’s the matter?” I twist in my seat to look at him.

He recovers quickly, shifting and looking straight ahead as if I hadn’t just seen his reaction.

“Nothing. South Wells and Cumberland. Got it.”

His playful tone is gone, along with the smirk and the twinkle in his pale-blue eyes.

“Yeah, okay. You might want to work on your poker face.”

Now it’s my turn.

His eyes widen, looking at me in disbelief that I just called him out.

“Your business is your business. If there’s something wrong with that intersection, just pull over and I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

I don’t want him to try and explain what that was about. The less I know, the better. And it’s really none of my business.

He doesn’t say anything. His grip tightens around the steering wheel.

When he turns, I point out the building.

“Just park at the front.” I unbuckle my seatbelt.

“You’ll get soaked. The alley has more cover.”

“No!” I blurt out.

My sudden outburst makes him jump, braking as he is in the middle of turning into the side alley.

“I… I mean no, don’t worry about it. Here’s fine. Thanks for the lift.” I can feel my cheeks burning.

I panicked. He heard it. He saw it.

Adding to our encounters, I quickly exit the car and head into the store.

The familiar surroundings offer a bit of comfort.

I don’t glance back. I can’t bear to see Eli’s confused expression, wondering why I just had a meltdown.

It was ages ago. Six years is a lifetime.

I inhale deeply, brushing the rain off my coat and shaking it out of my purse. I smooth my hair and wipe the stray droplets from my face.

Just breathe.

I’m okay.