The Secrets of Sin

Mari

Erik rushes to my side, checking my arm and looking at the shoulder.

“How did this happen?” His concern is written over his face.

“I was showering. There was lightning and thunder, then the lights went off. But Ben heard me fall and came to help.”

Erik’s face tenses and his red-hot anger is clear.

“You fell in the shower and Ben came in.” He repeats my words but adds some kind of hostility.

“Yes, he gave me some towels, made sure I was covered up, and stayed with me until you got back. He made sure to take care of me, just like you, bubba.”

I lean into Erik. He kisses the crown of my head and goes downstairs with me.

“Stevie, do you have a sling here?” Erik holds my arm up to my chest for me.

“Uh, no, wait, yeah, hold on.” He jumps up from the table and goes to the storage room, rifling through some things before coming back and unfolding a beige wrapped sling.

“Here.” He steps up to us. Erik lets go of my arm while Stevie pins it to my chest and starts wrapping it around me.

Stevie’s and my face are almost touching by the proximity. Our eyes meet. He smiles while helping me.

Erik stands beside us, monitoring our exchange.

Stevie ties the ends to keep it together and steps back to take a look over his handiwork.

Erik gives his nod of approval.

The rest of the night goes by slowly. Erik makes me sit to keep off my feet.

Ross says my shoulder should be good to go in about three days, which means I’ll miss a stage appearance.

I will have to still come in and make sure to keep my appointments up. I can still give lap dances with a janky shoulder.

After about two hours, the lights come back on and I sneak into the kitchen to heat up some dinner.

I make fresh eggs and toast before Erik remembers he wanted me to sit down.

We eat in, talking about the day. Ben doesn’t sit with me like he normally does. Instead, Erik sits on one side and Stevie on the other, Ross and Ben sit across from me.

He doesn’t talk, keeping his eyes around the room. I think he’s mad at me.

I know he is upset I lied, and he has to keep this secret now, but I think he’s madder about the kiss.

What was I supposed to do? I thought it was a good kiss. And it’s not like I could have stopped him before he pushed me on that door.

His hands grip my hips and pull me against his very hard erection.

Wait, he said I called him Ben, and he knew it was me because of the beauty mark on my leg and my eyes?

Then he knew it was me when he kissed me!

He kissed Mari and not Sin!

He knew!

***

Bedtime comes slowly. Erik takes the room across from me and Ben is in the one where I saw him touching himself.

Where he said my name while jerking off.

Why would he do that?

Does he want to think about me like that?

I saw the lust in his eyes—at the fight, coming home, at the water, and when he nipped my earlobe.

Why? Why is he picking on me like this?

Going over everything in my head makes me stay awake. I can’t sleep.

Checking the clock one more time, I take a breath. It’s three in the morning and the storm hasn’t lifted.

I decide to go and make breakfast since I can’t sleep.

I get out of bed and adjust Erik’s shirt. It doesn’t hang down to my calf as Ben’s does, but it does cover everything, like a nightgown, so I’m grateful.

I slowly crack my door, tiptoeing down the hall in the dark, trying to be as quiet as I can.

When I get to Ben’s room, I stop. Something inside me makes me want to check to see if he’s awake. Putting my ear to the door, I strain to listen.

I can hear Ben flopping around in bed. I’m sure his feet are hanging off. I know these beds aren’t long enough for him to fit comfortably.

Placing my hand on the door handle, it cracks open.

My heart flutters when I see him.

He looks so cute, all cuddled around the blanket that’s also tucked in between his legs. They hang off the bed to a comical level.

A strip of blanket covers a small part of his back.

He looks like a cute bear cub. His curly brown hair sticking up at different angles.

My bear is in hibernation.

I giggle at the thought. Ben seems so peaceful right now.

I don’t want to disturb him, so I close the door as carefully as I can. I can’t shut it all the way or it will make a loud click and probably wake him up.

What would I possibly say if he caught me right now?

Sorry Ben, just being a creepy girl watching you sleep like you’re a little cub in the wilderness?

No.

Definitely not.

I tiptoe down the stairs and flick the light on in the kitchen. I shuffle around quietly and dig out the stuff I need to make homemade cinnamon rolls: flour and yeast, eggs and milk.

I grab a mixing bowl and a whisk, then look for a bread roller.

“What are you making?” Ben plops down on the barstool at the counter.

I pretend he doesn’t scare me and grab the rest of my stuff. “Cinnamon rolls,” I say, tossing the words over my shoulder.

“Can’t sleep?” He leans into his hand.

“No, storms scare me…a little.” I drop my eyes, a little embarrassed. At twenty years old, I should be brave enough to handle a simple thunderstorm.

“Just a little?” He pinches his two fingers together to tease me.

“Shush.” I smile at him and grab the butter from the fridge.

Ben gets out of the seat and comes around the counter, leaning against the sink beside me.

“Artificial butter instead of the real thing?” He picks up the box. “So sinful,” he whispers next to me.

I cut my eyes at him, mixing my batter up. “You are acting like it.”

He presses his body to my side. “Like, what, kitten?”

He towers over me, one arm placed in front of me while he uses his other hand to sweep a lock of my hair out of my face.

“Like a beast,” I let slip out.

Ben’s jaw clicks. A growl comes from deep in his chest. The hand that brushed my hair back is gone now, locked at his side.

He turns away from me, walking from the kitchen. I drop the bowl and grab his arm before he gets to the stairs.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t nice. Will you forgive me?” I pull his arm closer to me, hugging it and looking up from my hold on him.

Ben’s lopsided smile is partly hidden by the shadow on the dark side of the house.

“I’m not mad, kitten. I think we need some space for a while.” He pulls his arm away and runs a hand down my back.

“What, why? You’re my friend. I love you.” Fear sparks in me. I never want to lose Ben.

We have been friends my whole life. This is one of the reasons I don’t want anyone to know about what happened between us. They would be disappointed in me.

“I love you too, Mari. I’m not mad.” He takes the first step on the stairwell.

“Will you tell me why, then?” I whisper. I feel like a knife has been stuck in my heart. The idea of Ben not wanting to be around me hurts.

Ben runs a hand through his hair, making it more disheveled than it was before. He makes a groan and steps back down onto the main floor with me.

“Because of this.” He takes hold of my hand and makes me grope the front of his pants, feeling his erection sticking out.

I gasp at the feel of it.

“It won’t go away. I need to be away from you so this”—he squeezes my hand tighter around it—“stops.” He lets go of me. I stare up at him. His blue-sky eyes light up his face.

“Because of Sin?” I whisper.

“Move your hand, Marcella,” he says, growling deeply, making the pit in my stomach grow.

I realize I’ve not taken my hand away and I jump back, folding my arms behind my back.

Ben turns and walks away, leaving me alone in the glow of the kitchen light.

Sin has made a mess, and Ben needs help to move past this so we can be friends again.

I can fix it.

I’ll make it right.

***

Morning comes, we eat, clean up, and head out.

Ben doesn’t spare me a second glance, and neither of us say a word to the other.

We ride back in silence.

When we get home, I go into the house and dig into my bag; I pull out a card and write out a time and date.

It’s thick parchment with a pink bunny on the front and my gold and burgundy angel wings on the back.

I sign it as Sin and tuck it into the palm of my hand.

Ben helps carry in some coolers and a couple of the bags.

I make a little doggy bag for Stevie, Ross, and Ben for their ride home. Sticking the card in Ben’s, I hand them out, making sure to give Ben’s straight to him, with a flirty wink too.

If my sinful side is keeping him up and making us not be friends because he is lusting after me, then maybe…a kiss from an angel will take care of it.

A lap dance to clear his mind.