I wasn’t ready to join the gym just yet. I knew I needed to. Or at least if I wanted to make Cade regret being an asshole I needed to, but I wasn’t quite ready.
Plus, I had work to do. That took precedence, right?
The perfect antidote to my shitty mood since I found out Cade was such an ass was a sweet family to spend the day with. Thankfully that was exactly what was on my schedule for the day. It was a new client, a family I’d never met before, and I was excited to get to know them. There was something about spending an hour or so with people and taking their pictures that always let you into their world. Especially when that world involved kids.
Winterville Park, near the center of town, was a great backdrop for pictures. In the nicer months of the year, all three of them, I used the park as much as possible for sessions. Occasionally I headed to the beach at Lake Erie, but the park was my favorite since there was such variety there, and it was closer.
I pulled into the lot and threw my bags over my shoulder. The family, the Alexanders, were supposed to meet me at the edge of the lot on the trail that led toward the bridge. No one was there yet, but I was early, as always. It was a cardinal rule of mine to never leave a client waiting, so I was always at least 15 minutes early.
While waiting for them to arrive, I mentally took stock of the park. Bright green grass covered almost all the area, with massive trees offering shade and bolts of light that made pictures come to life. A bridge crossed a small stream that ran through the entire area and led to a small pond at one end. A butterfly garden and wildflower garden brought in color to the otherwise monochromatic space.
People walked, biked, and skateboarded through the park on a daily basis. Kids loved the playground the town installed a few years ago, near the pond, to give the little kids something fun to do. My favorite was the gazebo.
An oversized gazebo anchored one of the edges of the park. Many a June bride dreamed of saying I do under the light wooden structure. It could easily hold just about any size wedding party, up to twenty could stand under it comfortably, and the surrounding open space gave guests of the lucky brides a 360° view of the ceremony.
To say I wanted to get married there was a bit of an understatement. That site was what inspired me to become a photographer. In college I went wandering one day and ended up finding the park. It was early spring and flowers were just starting to bloom. I’d always loved photography and was studying it at school, along with my business major since my parents refused to pay for my degree if I didn’t have something marketable. Until that moment though, I never thought I could truly make photography a career.
There was a wedding going on that day. The edges of the bride’s dress were muddy due to the overnight rainstorm. The tips of the groom’s shoes were caked with the same mud, but they only had eyes for each other. I stood in the back where I could see them both and knew I wanted to capture those moments forever.
Voices from the parking lot broke up my trip into the past and I turned with a smile to watch the family piling out of the SUV parked near mine. The mom looked ragged, the dad was grinning at something one of the kids said, and both kids looked ready to run, in opposite directions.
I had no doubt they were the Alexanders.
Maddie, the mom, walked over to me while Dad, Johnny, wrangled the boys.
“Are you Samantha?” Maddie asked tentatively.
“I am. It’s nice to meet you, Maddie.”
“You, too,” she said as we shook hands. “I just hope these guys aren’t too much for you. I told my husband I wanted family pictures taken before Ben started kindergarten. The boys are a bit wild today though.”
I smiled what I hoped was a reassuring smile and told her everything would be okay. Johnny walked up with one boy under each arm, all three smiling, and introduced himself. “I’d shake your hand but I’m not sure I can lift mine.”
I laughed and agreed. “No worries. You seem to have your hands full, literally. Should we head into the park?”
Maddie nodded and fell into step beside me while Johnny carried the boys behind us. The peals of their laughter scared a few birds from the nearby trees. More than one squirrel darted up a tree as we got closer. It sounded wonderful to me.
Once we made it to the bridge I slid my camera out of my bag and pointed it at Johnny and the boys. Before they had a chance to react I snapped a few shots of the three of them giggling like teenagers looking at their first Playboy.
During my conversations with Maddie I knew she wanted some posed family shots, on the bridge, in the gazebo, near the stream, but getting those shots would be dependent on how well I could keep the boys interested in what we were doing.
The family didn’t opt for the matchy-matchy khakis and white button-down shirts option, but they all had a cohesive look. Maddie was wearing a light pink a-line dress with a brown belt just under her chest. Johnny was in khakis but paired it with a light blue Polo shirt the same color as the sky. The boys were both wearing khaki shorts, Ben with an olive green Polo and Nick with a yellow Polo. All four of them were wearing flip-flops.
“Dad, why don’t you put the boys down for a minute while I get set up?” The boys kicking and wiggling had to be testing the strength in Johnny’s arms, but more than that, I wanted the boys to get out some of their energy before I asked them to pose for their mom’s pictures.
Johnny let them go and they immediately ran to the edge of the water. I caught a few shots of them crouched low and looking at something in the stream then turned my camera toward Maddie and Johnny who were watching their rambunctious boys with love clearly in their eyes. They weren’t paying attention to me so I took pictures as I pleased, smiling as I caught them in a sweet kiss.
“Maddie and Johnny, can I get you two on the bridge for a minute?” They wandered over to the bridge and looked down at the boys who were yelling up to them. I caught the family moment then asked the boys to join their parents. They took off running and leapt into their parents' arms.
Once I’d taken a few shots of them without their knowledge I asked everyone to look at me. I was poised over the stream, praying I wouldn’t fall in while I shot. The four pairs of matching brown eyes looked over the edge at me and grinned. Within seconds the boys were squirming and I moved up the bank to get the last of the shots.
“Let’s go to the gazebo next. It should be free this time of day.” Maddie nodded and pointed in the direction we were headed so the boys could run ahead of the adults. I hung back to catch Maddie and Johnny holding hands with the boys running in the distance.
The gazebo was empty like I’d assumed. Ben and Nick ran circles around it but Maddie and Johnny headed right up the steps to stand inside. I took pictures as I approached, catching the boys' bright smiles and flushed cheeks as well as Maddie’s adoration for her husband and his blatant love for her. That was why I took pictures. Behind the camera I could become invisible and capture moments that the families didn’t even know were right in front of them.
Johnny called the boys up to them once he noticed me standing there. Each boy stood in front of a parent with the parents’ arms wrapped around the boy’s neck, hands resting on their chest. It was one of the poses Maddie really wanted. They looked like the perfect little family, and I felt just the slightest twinge of envy. They had something I wanted. I’d never been one of those girls who sat around imagining every aspect of my dream wedding, but I’d be lying if I said I’d never thought about it.
More than the wedding though, I’d imagined the marriage. The idea of having someone to share my life with, someone who loved me for me and didn’t constantly tell me everything I needed to change about my life. That’s not the family I wanted; unfortunately, it was the family I had.
Speaking of which, my phone rang from deep in my bag. I knew it was my mom based on the ringtone. Not that I’d ever tell her I used Katy Perry’s “Roar” for her to remind myself to be strong when she called.
I ignored the call and focused on my clients. The boys started moving again, and we all went toward the pond. On the way, we paused to smell the flowers, literally, and the boys tried, unsuccessfully, to catch a butterfly. A few more photos they didn’t know I was taking, and we made it to the pond.
The muddy bank drew the boys in right away, and I knew their clothes would be ruined in seconds if I didn’t get their attention. “Hey guys, want to go down the slides?”
Slides had always been my favorite as a kid. I loved the feeling of the fresh air whipping around me and the freedom associated with letting go and trusting I would be able to catch myself at the end. As an adult, I didn’t get that feeling much, even though it was only a few seconds long. To be able to let go of everything and not feel the pressure to succeed, to get married, to have kids, to lose weight, to be perfect… I could dream.
Right on cue my phone rang again. My mother believed nothing else mattered except her. If I didn’t drop everything and answer her call she’d keep calling until I either answered or my dad convinced her to drop it. Usually the first one.
The boys took the bait and headed for the playground. I poised at the end of the slides and caught that look of freedom plastered on their little faces. They moved to the swings, Nick needing to be pushed by someone and Ben pumping his legs like a champ. They climbed the playhouse and even got their parents up there with them. I had them all look over the side and snapped a few shots of them, four pairs of flushed cheeks and giant smiles.
Back at the edge of the pond a few minutes later Maddie and Johnny kissed while the boys stood in front of them. At first they were looking at me, but once they realized what their parents were doing, the boys made faces and chorused, “Eewwwww!”
I kept taking pictures.
Maddie and Johnny split apart with a laugh and Johnny snatched both boys up again. He ran up and down the bank with the kids screaming and laughing. Maddie looked on, love pouring out of her. They couldn’t have been happier if they tried.
That’s what I loved about taking pictures. You can’t hide how you feel from a camera. It captures the emotions we wear, the honesty we might not want to show others. And I get to be a part of that for the families I work with. My job was awesome.
Katy Perry sung Roar again as I was packing up my stuff. The Alexanders were going to stay and play for a while and I agreed to meet with Maddie in a few days to go over the pictures.
Back at my studio I set about editing the photos. Some didn’t turn out well when one of the boys moved as I shot, others had someone with eyes crossed or a tongue darting out to lick lips. I moved all the less than stellar shots to another folder and concentrated on making sure the best shots were perfect, no red-eye, no random glares, no imperfections.
Once I was satisfied with the results, I heard my phone ringing. Again. “Hi Mom,” I said without any enthusiasm.
“Samantha! I’ve been trying to reach you for two days. I thought you were dead!”
My mother, the drama queen. If I didn’t answer I must be dead. Not busy. Busy wasn’t an option. Dead was.
“I don’t know why you do that to me. You had me so worried!”
Yep, the guilt trip. If we’d gone on half as many vacations as my mother led me on guilt trips I’d have seen the world. Twice.
“Mom, I was working.”
“Oh, good. You got a real job. Why didn’t you tell me?” The hurt was back. It was all about her.
“Yes, Mom, I got a real job. Years ago when I opened my own photography studio.”
She groaned. “That is not a real job, Samantha. It is a hobby. But not to worry. That’s why I called you. Rose told me her daughter’s company is hiring. You just need a college degree, any one will do, and since your father and I were smart enough to make sure you had a good one, you should be okay. I’m not sure what the job will entail, but I have her daughter’s phone number so you can call and talk to her about the job. Rose said something about sending a resume but I don’t have the address.”
It was my turn to groan. She was constantly sending me on wild goose chases trying to get me a ‘real job.’ I hated it. I was happy with my situation. I loved working with families and I was not interested in living by someone else’s rules. Not that my mother cared how I felt or what I wanted. She was just ‘trying to help’ she always said.
Like I needed it.
I dutifully wrote down the number even though I would never apply for the job. She made me promise to call Rose’s daughter, not that I had a clue who Rose was, and I regretfully agreed. I wanted to call the woman as much as I wanted to go to the gym.
Well, maybe not even that much. At least going to the gym would lead to something good. All that phone call could lead to was me getting more frustrated with my mother.
“The job pays well and has benefits. Plus, they even offer membership to a gym, isn’t that wonderful?”
I rolled my eyes. The only digs she didn’t manage to get in was the fact that I was still single and hadn’t procreated yet. If my mother didn’t insult me at least twice a day I was pretty sure she wasn’t happy.
God knew I wasn’t happy, but that didn’t matter.
“Sounds delightful, Mom.”
She huffed. “You don’t have to be so rude, Samantha. I’m trying to help you.”
“Mom,” I began slowly, “I have a job. I work full time. Sometimes more. I love what I do and I make a decent living.”
“Samantha, your job is just—“
“A hobby,” I finished with her. “I know you feel that way, but it’s not for me. I’m sorry you don’t agree, but all the job offers in the world aren’t going to turn me into a lawyer like Heather.”
“Oh, I know, honey. You’ll never be like Heather. You two are too different.”
In other words, she was smart, beautiful, married, and had kids. I couldn’t even get one of those right. Oh, yeah, and she had the right job. Oh for five. Can you guess who the favorite was?
“Thanks, Mom,” I said dryly.
“Call Rose’s daughter, honey. You’ll feel better once you have a good job. And answer the phone next time I call you. I’ll end up in an early grave if I think you’re dead in a ditch somewhere.”
“Yes, Mom.”
We hung up, and I had the sudden urge to hit something.
