Allisha Bowman was the prosecuting attorney for my case—aka, “the person whose job it was to put Dodger behind bars.”
“I have to warn you, Cora, they’re going to be tough on you tomorrow,” Allisha said to me from across her desk.
“They’ll do everything they can to get a rise out of you,” she continued. “But keep your composure and don’t take any of their shit.”
I’d liked Allisha from the moment we’d first met.
But that didn’t make this any easier. Because if she was right about what I could expect, the trial was going to be hell.
“I’ve known John Darrow for years. He will throw anything and everything he can think of to try to plant the seed of doubt in the jury members’ minds. That’s including your sexual history, the fact that your occupation contains a sexual element, and even the fact that you’re divorced.”
“Christ on crutches…”
Allisha smirked. “Speaking of which, he’s a part-time minister at a local church. And you might be interested to know that he took on this case pro bono.”
“So he’s representing Dodger’s disgusting ass for free!?”
She nodded. “And he’s represented clients in many situations like this before. He plays dirty. So, like I said, in addition to going after the fact that you write about sex, he’ll most likely try to make the encounter look consensual.”
“He may try to suggest that you enjoy rough sex. Or that you even inflicted the injuries yourself, later on.”
“But Hael—”
“Can’t testify for the prosecution, because of his violent altercation with Dodger.”
“Violent altercation” was Allisha’s lawyer way of saying “beat the living shit out of him.”
“But he’ll be testifying for the defense,” she continued.
“Why would Darrow want to talk to Hael?” I asked.
“Again, to spread doubt. Try to poke holes in your relationship. In your version of what happened that day. If he can make Hael say something that contradicts your story…”
Allisha broke off. “It’s all going to be fine,” she said. “We have a solid case. And more importantly, we have the truth. All they have are lies and deception.”
I nodded. “And they wonder why women never go through with sexual assault trials,” I muttered.
“Exactly,” Allisha said. “Which is why you need to remember how brave you are to be doing this at all.”
I wanted everything to fast-forward—to be done with this trial so Dodger could go to prison, and I could finally get a good night’s sleep.
My phone buzzed on Allisha’s desk.
I groaned when I looked at the screen.
“What’s wrong, girl?” I said, kneeling next to the cow.
One of the heifers was sick, and I was considering a call to the vet.
The heifer mooed, and I gently prodded her belly, trying to figure out what might be hurting her.
I hadn’t heard from Cora since she’d left to meet with her attorney.
But I’d seen the shadows under her eyes that morning.
Behind me, someone cleared their throat, and I turned to see Tobias.
“Kinda busy here, Tobias,” I said.
“Uh…Ellie’s pregnant,” he said.
I lost my balance and nearly toppled onto the cow. Had to steady myself on the stall door as I stood to face the guilty party.
“She told me a while ago,” he continued. “We wanted to wait until after the trial to tell everybody, but I’m kinda freakin’ out. I had to talk to someone.”
“How pregnant?”
“Umm…well, being married now and all, we sometimes—”
“Oh.” Tobias flushed. “About six weeks.”
I tried to keep my cool, but I couldn’t hold back. “Ellie’s supposed to be startin’ school in January. What are you guys gonna do now? Weren’t you usin’ protection!?”
“No—I mean—we hadn’t—” Tobias stammered.
“Well, what did ya think was gonna happen!?”
“I don’t know!” Tobias said. “And now it’s all just happening so fast, and I don’t know what to do, and—”
I came out of the stall and took a step toward him.
To his credit, he didn’t back down.
“I just… I want to do what’s right for Ellie,” he said. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but this is just so big…”
“Listen here—” I cut myself off and took a moment to try to cool down.
“Look,” I continued, “you’re a husband now. Soon you’ll be a father. It’s time to step up.”
Tobias sighed. “You’re right. And I need to talk to Ellie about all of this.”
Tobias nodded. “Yeah, Hael. I understand.”
“So what do you want, Mom?” I said shortly as I slid into the diner booth across from her.
I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to meet her. On the drive over, I’d briefly entertained the notion that she was finally ready to apologize for lying to me for my entire fucking life.
But given my mother, that was a long shot.
So it had to be because she wanted something. And with the trial starting tomorrow, I needed to find out what.
“You don’t have to be so rude,” Mom said with a sniff. “After all, you might need my help.”
“And why the fuck would I possibly want your help?” I asked as I waved down a server and motioned to the coffee pot behind the counter.
“Well, I’m being called as a witness tomorrow. For the defense.”
“Yeah, I got the witness list last week. So what?”
She sipped her coffee. “And I’m supposed to tell the jury all about your character.”
“Oh just, what kind of girl you are. What you were like growing up. Your behavior in school.”
“Go ahead. I made straight A’s in high school while you drank your way across town. I’m not afraid of you.”
“And there’s also the issue of your divorce,” she said, pursing her lips.
Silence fell between us as I waited for her to continue.
“So…was that the punchline?”
“In the eyes of many, divorce is no laughing matter, Cora,” she snapped. “Some people might think it says a lot about you. That you couldn’t make it work with Mitch, even though he loved you so much.”
The server set my coffee mug on the table as she passed.
“Yeah, he loved me alright. Right up until his dick fell into about twelve different women.”
“And of course there’s also that disgusting magazine you used to work for. And even now, with that ridiculous pornographic website—”
“You have five seconds to get to the point, or I’m leaving.”
Mom sipped her coffee again. I still hadn’t touched mine.
“I was just thinking that I could gloss over some of the more…colorful parts. Particularly when it comes to that filth you were writing.”
“Uh-huh.” I crossed my arms. “And why exactly would you do that? By the way, you know it’s illegal, right?”
“Pshhh, no one would ever have to know. And all I want is for you to finally show me a little gratitude.”
“Ha! And would this gratitude happen to come in the form of cash?”
“Well, I am behind on a few bills, and—”
“Yeah, I’m going to stop you right there.” I shook my head. “You are un-fucking-believable, do you know that?” I said, my voice going up. A few of the other diners stopped to watch us.
“Now really, Cora. I can’t believe you would treat me this way. After all, I am your mother, and I’m trying to help you!”
“You’ve never been interested in helping anyone but yourself.”
I grabbed my purse and threw a bill on the table for my untouched coffee.
“I really think you’ll regret this, Cora.”
I glared her down. “Oh, I have a lot of regrets. A big one is not seeing how much of a money-grubber you were for all those years.”
She shrugged at me. “I can make life very difficult for you, Cora.”
“Everyone is trying to make my life difficult right now, so get the fuck in line!” I shouted, standing up and grabbing my coat.
The diner fell silent as they stared at us.
“Show’s over, folks!” I said as I stormed out.
When Cora got home, I could tell her day had been hell.
“You want a shoulder rub?” I offered.
“No. Thanks, though.”
“What about dinner? I can make somethin’, we can watch a movie? One of the weird ones with the subtitles you like so much?”
“Maybe later. I kinda just want to be alone.”
She went into the bedroom and shut the door.
I stood in the living room, feeling useless.
It killed me seeing her like that. This wasn’t a problem that I could fix.
But there was nothing I could do.
It felt like every time Cora started to patch herself back together, something came along and ripped her right down again.
I hoped the trial would be the end of it.
Dodger would go to prison.
And Cora could start truly healing. For good this time.
Unless this trial tore away at her till there was nothing left.
I went to the window and looked out over the fields.
Protecting Cora had been my responsibility.
Watching out for her.
And I’d failed that day at the fair.
But I wouldn’t fail again.
