My senses flared and in my head, sirens screamed.
No word whatsoever.
No texts. No calls.
Cut cold turkey.
Once again, Kade’s existence made me feel like an addict. Three months sober, and then here I was once, met again with my chronic, compulsive fix.
His constantly closed-off stance. Those telling, currently disapproving eyes.
Achingly tempting. An inviting rabbit hole.
I knew I looked deranged, but I couldn’t help myself.
We were surrounded by Hellbound and Satan’s Sons men, but for a second it felt like we were totally alone. I didn’t care who was watching or what they thought.
I marched up close to Kade, inches from his stupid fucking face, the gun still grasped tightly, threateningly, in my hand.
As if losing control of my movements, I felt myself raise my gun at him.
Kade flinched away with a gasp. “Jesus, Abby—”
“Okay, break it up,” said Damon, moving between the two of us, nudging and pulling me away with his body. His skin on mine clearly triggered something in Kade, which filled me with glee.
Damon grabbed my wrist, directing his attention to the gun. “Put it down, psycho.”
“Hey, don’t you dare speak to her like that,” a voice suddenly barked.
Distracted by Kade, I had barely noticed, or at least hadn’t registered, his presence. President of the Satan’s Sons himself.
My dad.
“Let go of her arm, jackass,” he growled.
Damon scoffed. “Well if it isn’t the Cockroach, himself.”
Before I could stop him, Dad too had a gun up and aimed.
Blake shook his head and muttered, “Jesus Christ,” but followed suit.
And always only a split second behind their leader, Damon and Liam whipped out their weapons, as well.
Every barrel pointed at someone else’s chest. It was about to be a bloodbath. From the corner, Kim released a half shriek, half sob.
“Get behind me,” Damon snapped at her.
I stepped a few paces backwards from Reaper, joining the full circle.
The air buzzed with tension.
“Nobody… Fucking… Move,” Blake said levelly, trying to keep calm.
But staying calm was tough when we were all posed like characters in an old sepia-colored Western standoff.
One wrong move, and we’d all end up dead.
The situation was harrowing, but despite that, I laughed.
Dad and Kade looked at me, either amazed or deeply disturbed.
“What a lovely little family reunion,” I said.
Was that really my daughter I was looking at? I’d never been the best father, but how had it come to this?
It was hard to believe I was looking at the same girl I had raised for the first eighteen years of her life. Did she have a temper? Of fuckin’ course. Inherited it from me.
But she was more like her mother than she knew. She had a kindness, a goodness somewhere hidden beneath the tough exterior. But now it seemed harder than ever to see it.
I thought we had come here to save her. But it looked like she had no interest in being saved.
“Leave,” Abby said, stirring the silence. “All of you. You too, Kim. It’s been fun catching up, but the party’s over. There’s the exit. No goodie bags, sorry.”
“Abby, can we just talk–” I tried.
“Oh, you want to talk, too, like Kade here?” she fired back.
“Okay, Dad, we can talk.” There was venom in her voice. “Where have you been the last three months? You never came looking, not once. Were you even trying to find me?”
A crack formed in my heart.
“I…Abby, if you just come with us, we can all go home, just two hours away, where you belong–”
Quietly, I croaked out, “No.”
Her eyes darkened, cold.
And the crack turned into a clean break as she jutted her gun’s barrel at the road.
“Leave,” she repeated.
After a heavy moment, my father nodded. “Okay, Abby, if you insist.”
He sounded absent. Distant. Miles away.
“Kim? Are you coming?”
“Um, yes,” I said. “Yeah, I guess.”
I darted out from behind Damon and made my way, hands above head, across the circle. I was the only one unarmed.
Beside Dad and Reaper, I already felt safer. Unable to hold back, I said to Abby, “You know you could come with us.”
“I know, Kim. I was given the belated invitation. Thanks, but unfortunately I have other plans.”
In any other context, I would have rolled my eyes. Sarcasm had always been Abby’s go-to language in times like these.
“Suit yourself. Dad? Reaper? Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
From the corner of my eye, I watched Dad reluctantly lower his pistol in surrender.
But Reaper held his ground.
But he didn’t even glance my way.
He looked only at Abby as he said, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Abby’s face mirrored my own frustration.
“Don’t do this. Seriously,” she said.
Eventually, he backed down. “I’ll be seeing ya, Abby.”
I watched my father, sister, and ex-whatever turn and walk out the door, without a second look.
“Well, that was eventful,” Damon said.
“Is everyone okay? Abby?” Liam asked, concerned.
I didn’t respond.
Blake spat on the ground. “It’s getting late. We should all head back.”
“Could you all leave me alone here?” I asked. “I need a minute.”
They shared hesitant glances.
Quickly shifting tactics, I tried another approach. “I want to, you know, channel all this energy and anger I’m feeling into some solid practice.”
“Great thinking,” Blake said. “And impressive devotion. You know the way back from the range? It’s about twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s nothing.”
I just needed to be alone before reaching a full-out panic attack.
Finally, they obliged. As they got into their cars and drove off, leaving me in a whirlwind of dust. Only when it settled, when all was silent, did my knees buckle.
And then, I began to sob.
Tears streamed down my face and gasps wracked my body. I wailed into the empty void.
So this is what emotion felt like. I had almost forgotten.
Leave it to Kade to remind me.
God. Fuck him.
Or maybe I did, but knew I may not.
And that was the crippling part.
Suddenly, a violent distraction pulled me from these thoughts.
One moment I was standing in the quiet blackness, crying into my hands, and the next I was in movement.
Being thrown? By what? By whom?
I didn’t even care.
Two hands grasped at my singlet, clutching the fabric and yanking me close.
Hot breath warmed my face.
The smell made me dizzy. Coffee and cigarettes.
“How could you do that?”
Kade’s voice.
“Reaper?” I breathed.
Maybe I did care.
Of course, I hadn’t left with Roach and the others. I’d waited ’til I knew Abby was alone then immediately circled back.
What for?
Hell if I knew. But I couldn’t stop myself now.
“Reaper?” she said, surprised.
I felt the anger rushing up inside me again when I looked at the fresh tat on her perfect skin. Clear bandages wrapped the wound.
“Yeah, it’s me, Abby,” I said. “Surprise. No fucking shit. That little stunt you pulled back there? Jesus, you’re a goddamn maniac.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m serious! Roach and Kim just wanted to help you! They wanted to take you home, back to Satan’s Sons territory where you belong–”
“Belong! Everyone keeps saying that word! You have no right to tell me where I belong. You don’t know what’s best for me,” Abby spat.
I started to speak, then clenched my jaw shut.
She still had no idea that Amber had threatened to kill me if I didn’t leave her.
Anger boiled in the space between us.
If I brought up the reasons, that anger would turn to sadness. And I wasn’t ready for sadness. Neither of us were.
That was a wound that needed to stay sealed just a bit longer.
So instead, I’d confess something else.
“Abby,” I said.
“WHAT?!”
“I think about you every single day.”
“Then why’d you leave?” I shouted, even though mere inches separated us.
“I can’t say. You just have to trust me.”
“Right. Easy. Because I have so much trust to spare.”
“Do you ever think about me?”
I’d been ready to fire back another insult. This was, after all, a shooting range.
But that question took me by surprise. For an instant, the only sound in the dusty expanse was our heavy breathing.
Then I whispered, “Of course I fucking do.”
Finally releasing the grasp on my top, Kade shifted his body tighter to mine, pressing one hand to the small of my back.
Like he used to do when we were about to…
“I still hate you,” I said, voice shaking.
His breath tickled my face.
“Right back at you, darlin’.”
I parted my lips.
Kade’s neared mine.
And suffocating the recent months of anger, surrendering to the years of passion and love and lust, alone together in the middle of the empty shooting range, we leaned in to kiss.
