Sleeping on the couch was getting to me. I really appreciated Finley and Karissa letting me stay with them, but I was anxious to be home. Three nights away felt like hiding instead of healing.
The building manager, Richie, told me he changed the locks on my condo right away, but I still worried about being there alone. Finley went with me to get some clothes, but every second I was in there I felt like something was off. But I couldn’t hide forever. And I couldn’t sleep on a couch forever.
“What do you want to do today?” Karissa asked, handing me a cup of coffee and sitting on the chair opposite the couch.
She and Finley had been awesome. Fin’s work schedule made it so she wasn’t home as much as Rissa, but neither of them made me feel like I was being ridiculous for staying with them. They never asked how long I wanted to stay or if I was ready to go home. They just let it be normal that I was sleeping on their couch instead of two floors above them in my own condo.
“I think I need to go home,” I admitted, taking a sip of the rich, dark coffee. They had better coffee than me, but even that didn’t make me want to stay.
“Whenever you’re ready, but you know you can stay here as long as you’d like,” Karissa said.
I nodded. “Thanks. I just feel like I need to be home again. I’m so used to being alone all the time, and to be honest, I’m kind of missing it.”
Karissa chuckled and crossed one leg over the other. “Trust me, I get it. I’m the same way. I’m big and loud a lot of the time, but that’s because I’m alone so much and have been for so long that I almost go overboard when I’m around other people.”
I sighed. “I’m never around other people. I am just home alone.”
“You’re with us. When we all go out,” Karissa said, her dark brows pulling together.
I shrugged. “I know, but I guess I mean other people. Strangers. Not dangerous ones, but in general. I think there’s a part of me that’s afraid to put myself out there.”
“What do you mean?”
I sipped my coffee and considered my words. “I was matched with someone. He sounds great. Funny and clever and kind. He lives close which is better than the last one who lived in Syracuse and didn’t tell me. But I’m afraid to meet up with this guy.”
“And that means you’re afraid to date?”
“I never knew my grandfather. He died a long time ago. And my dad died when I was thirteen. My mom dated after that, but it wasn’t always great, as you know. I just wonder if maybe dating is more trouble than it’s worth.”
Karissa huffed a laugh. “I have been on a handful of dates in the last two years. A few were nice guys, but none of them were men who really made me want more than a few nights out. I’ve had men who were nothing more than sex and men who were nothing more than friends who kissed me at the end of the night. I’m jaded after my mom died. I see the world as deadly and dangerous. Even silently, it can kill you. And I’m thinking about cutting off my boobs, one of the things that makes me attractive to men. My dating life is going to go from barely surviving to dead as a doornail. And I’m totally okay with that because I feel the same as you. I don’t know if dating is really worth it.”
“Says the woman who built a dating app,” I said with a smirk.
“I know, right?” Karissa laughed. “I think if there was a way to know the other person was going to make you as happy as Ian makes Blake or Ramsey and Melody or Colin and Elise, that would be different. I would love to create something that really found you another person who would be it, who would end your dating life forever, that would be awesome.”
“You know, that sounded creepy. End your dating life forever,” I repeated in a deep movie trailer voice.
Karissa and I laughed.
“But yeah,” I agreed, “I’m with you. This guy I’m matched with, he could be great or he could be a total ass. And I won’t know until I give him a chance and get to know him.”
“I could look him up for you,” Karissa offered.
I shook my head. “Thanks, but no. I’m not going to support your habit.”
Karissa scowled at me. When she launched her app, she looked up everyone we were paired with. She knew Blake and Ian were paired together even though Blake didn’t, and it created a few issues. She promised she would be better, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
I laughed. “Maybe I should just not message him anymore. Just let it die out and not worry about him.”
“I think you should message him because life is too short to die alone.”
“Do you think that’s going to happen?” I asked her, hearing the pain and fear in her voice.
Karissa shrugged. “I think I studied romance and relationships for years when I was building Book Boyfriends Wanted. I searched for reasons to explain why people fall in love, and why they fall out of love. I read more about relationships than I knew existed. And at the end of it, there are so many things that you can’t quantify, so many pieces of the puzzle that have to fit together perfectly, and so many times they don’t, that I have very little hope left for me. I have hope for everyone else, because your hope hasn’t been shattered, but mine is almost gone. Especially if I go through with the surgery.”
“Then you need to find a man who is going to want you more than he wants your boobs,” I told her.
Karissa chuckled. “If one exists. Maybe I should add that to the questionnaire. If your significant other lost a piece of their anatomy to save their lives, would you still want to be with them?”
I grinned. “Anyone who answers no to that question should be deleted from the site.”
Karissa laughed and nodded. “Absolutely.”
Karissa stood next to me while I unlocked my front door. The key stuck a little going in, causing a hint of panic to flare up. Did the person who took my purse damage it by trying to use the old key? The key went in all the way and turned, unlocking my door with a soft click.
I took the key out and sucked in a breath, then pushed my door open. Everything looked the same as the last time I was there. My coffee maker lid was flipped up, waiting for a new pot to be brewed. My clean dishes were in the drying rack. A stack of mail I hadn’t gotten to yet was slumped over on the edge of the counter. A pair of flip flops was next to the wall, waiting for me to trip over them.
Farther inside, the rest of the condo hadn’t changed either. The living room was dark from the drawn curtains, but nothing was out of place. As far as I could tell, it was the same mess I left it in. Paperbacks on the coffee table, my iPad on the couch. A sweatshirt was on the floor in front and the blanket was hanging off the arm.
My bedroom looked the same. Unmade bed with the sheets halfway to the floor. Laundry littered all over my bedroom. The towel I used last was on the edge of the bed from where I forgot to hang it up, as always.
My office, the closest thing to organized in my condo, was picked up and perfect. Nothing was off anywhere.
But I still had that creeped out feeling.
“What do you think?” Karissa asked softly.
I took a breath and spun to look at her. She was standing next to my kitchen peninsula, watching me. “I think everything is where I left it, but…”
“It just feels different,” she supplied.
I nodded. “It does. Like someone might have been in here, but left no trace.”
“Richie said he changed the locks right away, right? I mean, he was done before we even left O’Kelley’s. Smart calling him so fast.”
I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. “I didn’t call him at all. I assumed you guys did.”
Karissa shook her head and glanced around again. “I didn’t. And I don’t remember Finley calling him either. I was with her the whole time.”
“Then how the hell did he know?” I whispered.
“Let me check with Fin,” Karissa said, digging her phone out and texting Finley.
I chewed my nail and watched Karissa, wondering how in the world Richie could have found out I was robbed if Fin—
“She didn’t tell him,” Karissa said. “You need to call him. Right now.”
I nodded and pulled up his number. I paced as I waited for him to pick up the call. He didn’t normally work Saturdays, but he always answered.
“Yellow?” he said, his over-excited accent changing the word.
“Richie, hi. It’s Trinity Mayer.”
“Hi, Trinity. How are you? Any problems with the new lock?”
“No, it’s fine. I just got here. But, um, how did you know it needed to be changed? I thought Karissa or Finley called you, but they said they didn’t. And they thought I called you, but I didn’t. And I don’t know how you knew—”
“Officer Rucker,” Richie said, cutting off my panicked tirade.
“James?” I blurted, looking at Karissa. She nodded as if that made sense to her. “He called you?”
“Yeah, well, Officer Rucker is a friend to everyone in the community. He’s the kind of guy who likes to make sure people are safe and know they’re safe. He’s actually the one who changed the lock, but I let him borrow my tools and provided the lock so I can get in if needed.”
“Why would he do that?”
“He said your keys and wallet were stolen. He wanted you to feel safe. But he, uh, he actually asked me not to tell you, so maybe you could keep this between us?”
“Um, yeah, sure. I, um, yeah,” I stammered, trying to understand.
“Thanks, Trinity. Hey, let me know if you need anything else.”
I nodded. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Richie.”
“Any time. See you soon, Trinity.”
“Bye,” I said absently. I stared at my phone, wondering what in the world just happened.
“James is friends with everyone. It makes sense he would have called Richie to make sure everything was okay. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. Or why you didn’t. You talked to him that night.”
I nodded, barely paying attention to Karissa.
“Have you talked to him since?”
I shook my head.
“He didn’t tell you he was going to change your locks?”
I shook my head again.
“Well, like I said, that’s just who he is. He’s just one of those guys who’s nice to everyone, you know?”
I scoffed. Too late I tried to cover it with a cough, but Karissa wasn’t fooled.
“What was that for? You don’t think he’s a good guy?”
“He’s not to me. He doesn’t like me. He treats me like crap all the time. The first day I moved here he acted like I was a common criminal. I almost left.” I held Karissa’s gaze, knowing she would understand.
Karissa shook her head. “No, James isn’t like that. He’s never…no. What did he do?”
“He tried to arrest me! I locked my car keys in here, and my condo keys in my car, and I was trying to get into my car to get them.”
Karissa raised an eyebrow and dropped her chin. “Seriously? Trin, I would have thought you were a criminal if I saw you. You were breaking into your car?”
“I know it looked bad, but he didn’t let me explain. He just lost it.”
“And you what? Stayed calm and explained you weren’t trying to break into a random person’s car but that it was your car?”
“Well, I…Fine, I yelled back. Feel better?” I scowled.
Karissa twisted her lips as she fought her grin. And lost. She burst out laughing. “You do realize he was doing his job, right? And you were breaking into a car. In a town so small that he knows basically everyone. Trust me, I understand profiling, but that’s just not James. Haven’t you two talked since then? He’s been out with us a ton.”
“And we don’t talk. He was at O’Kelley’s the other night when I was there and he accused me of being a slut because some guy was being an ass and hitting on me.”
“That still baffles me,” Karissa said. “James Rucker? Are we talking about the same person here?”
I nodded and gave her a humorless grin. “One and the same.”
“I’ve never seen him like this. You’re seriously blowing my mind right now.”
“I guess I just bring out the worst in him.”
“Yeah, well, he changed your locks, so he still wants you safe.”
I looked around and took a breath. “Yeah, I guess.”
Karissa rolled her eyes and snickered. “Maybe he has a thing for you and doesn’t know how to say it.”
“Ha! That’s a good one.”
She shrugged. “You never know.”
I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure I do. He’s an adult. If you think he doesn’t know how to tell a woman he likes her, then you haven’t been paying attention. He goes home with a new woman almost every weekend.”
“Maybe he’s not the one with the crush.” She smirked.
I laughed. “Yeah, because I really want to date a man who accused me of being a thief with his first words to me, accuses me of being a slut, then accuses me of it being my fault when I get robbed. Yep, he’s a real catch.”
Karissa snorted. “Okay, fine. I have to agree with that one. But really, he’s not like that. He’s a good guy.”
“Uh huh. Sure. I’ll take your word for it.”
Karissa chuckled. “Okay, fine. I’m going to head out if you’re good. I have some work to finish. Let me know when you want to turn your app on. I can set it up any time! And we had a deal, remember? You agreed.”
I shook my head. “I’m still thinking about it,” I admitted.
Karissa hugged me and said, “No pressure. Let us know if you need anything. Any time. Middle of the night, whatever. We’re here.”
“Thanks, Riss.”
She nodded and waved as she walked toward the door.
The door closed behind her, and I took a breath. After a second, I went and locked the door, then turned to my condo again.
“Officer James Rucker,” I said to myself with a laugh. I never would have thought he’d be the one to make me feel safe. Especially not twice in one week.
I spent the afternoon getting work done. I hated that I didn’t feel comfortable opening the slider out to my balcony. Fear was a funny thing, and it was in my head. Logic told me whoever stole my purse could not climb the side of my building and get into the sliding glass door, even if it was open, but logic didn’t have a place where fear lived.
When my stomach started to growl, I finished up the necklace I was working on and pulled a drape over it to protect the pieces. I learned the hard way that if I didn’t do that, I would inevitably bump my table or knock something off and would have to start over.
Since I hadn’t been home in three days, I didn’t have a lot of food in my house. I considered ordering in for about three seconds, then decided I could eat a can of soup and some crackers I found in the back of the pantry.
The crackers were stale and the soup was just okay, but it was food. I curled up on the couch with the remote and turned on a rom-com Finley and Karissa were talking about the night before.
The movie was half over when my phone buzzed with a new alert. I picked it up while watching the screen as the main characters kissed for the first time. I sighed, letting their happiness fill me.
My heart jumped. It was another notice from my newest match.
I snickered. Interesting question.
I laughed again. He was funny, and talking to him was even better than the movie. It had definitely been a long time since that was the case. And even though I was feeling a little down on relationships, it was nice to flirt with someone and know he wasn’t judging me for the sweats I had on or the wrap around my hair or the situations I ended up in through no fault of my own.
But it was not a night to think about James Rucker. I had JayPo to talk to. And he was so much better.
