I loved the pissed off look on her face. Maybe it was cruel, but it turned me on in ways I shouldn’t enjoy so much. Most of the women in the tiny town I’d chosen to hide in were happy to throw themselves at a police officer, but that one…she would have thrown just about anything else at me instead.
But that drink was the key. She was a sucker for vodka, and she couldn’t resist it.
The second she walked in, I asked Hudson about her. He was happy enough to warn me off of her, but I wasn’t very good at following directions. Especially directions that meant nothing. I was definitely playing with fire with her, but it would be worth it.
She glared at me and slammed the glass down on the bar. I tried not to smirk, but that feistiness was what had been missing from my life for months. I needed it.
I turned my drink up and drained the last of it. When I set it on the bar, I glanced over at her again, but dammit, she was gone. I scanned the bar, but there were too many people for me to see where she was. I stalked through the whole place and finally admitted she left.
Slippery. I shook my head and laughed. She lived up to the reputation Hudson told me about.
I got another drink and nursed it at the bar. A part of me wanted to take one of the many women who flirted with me up on their offer, but I wasn’t all that interested in the rest of them. The one I wanted was already gone.
I walked outside to get a minute of fresh air and debated heading home for the night. I was almost ready to when the door opened and she walked out.
She didn’t see me at first. She paused on the sidewalk and dug through her purse. I wanted to know what she was looking for. I wanted to know a lot of things about her. In that moment, I wanted to know what she tasted like.
“Leaving already?” I asked, finally letting her know I was there.
She jumped and spun toward me, dropping her purse to the ground. The contents dribbled out onto the snow-covered sidewalk, and she groaned.
“Just my fucking luck.”
“Why don’t I help you?” I offered.
“Why don’t you go to hell?”
I chuckled and crouched down to retrieve her things. Lipgloss, a crumpled sticky note, and a tampon were closest to me. I held them in my hand for her to take.
She glared at me and shoved them back into her bag before standing and throwing the bag over her shoulder. “What the hell are you doing out here? Stalking innocent women?”
“We both know there is nothing innocent about you.”
She sucked in a breath and lifted her gaze to meet mine. That spark was back, daring me. Demanding I push her just a little farther.
I took a step toward her, and she didn’t retreat. She tilted her head back to maintain eye contact with me. And when I got right in her personal space, she raised her hands to my shoulders.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“I’m going to kiss you,” I said. I didn’t give her a chance to argue or tell me she didn’t want me to. I knew she did. I could see it in her eyes, and when my lips touched hers, I could feel it in the way she responded to me.
She tried to pull back a second later, but I wasn’t letting her go yet. I held her close, and another second later she was melting into me. Her hands slid up my shoulders and around my neck. She tilted her head to the side and teased my lips with her tongue.
I groaned and spun her, walking forward until her back hit the wall of O’Kelley’s. She whimpered but didn’t stop. Her nails bit into my neck and she sucked hard on my tongue.
My cock liked that.
Someone else walked out of O’Kelley’s, letting the noise of the crowd break us apart. The guy looked at us and nodded, then kept walking.
I glared after him then turned back to Willow. She was already closed off. Her gaze was cast down, and she was biting her lip. “That never happened,” she said.
“It can keep happening.”
She shook her head and pushed at my shoulders. I backed off, reluctantly. “No. It’s…no. You gave me a ticket, and you’re friends with...”
I raised an eyebrow in question, waiting for her to tell me who I wasn’t supposed to be friends with even though I was sure I knew.
She shook her head. “This isn’t a good idea.”
“Then how about you let me walk you home? Make sure you get home okay?”
She snorted. “Nice try. Nothing exciting happens in MacKellar Cove. I’m not worried.”
“But—”
“See you around,” she called as she hurried away, leaving me to watch her go with nothing I could do about it.
I had almost made it to my desk the next morning when my name rang out across the bullpen. I knew better than to think I would get away with talking to her, or kissing her, but I didn’t expect it to become public so quickly.
I turned to face Rucker, the officer assigned to show me around when I arrived in town. I couldn’t say he was my partner because that was just…but I rode with him when I first started in MacKellar Cove. A part of me wondered if we were becoming friends, but I wasn’t sure about that one either. “Yeah?” I asked him.
“What’s up with you and the evil seed?”
Rucker didn’t pull any punches. He had a tendency to be blunt to the point of pissing people off far too often. And when it came to her, he didn’t care.
“Nothing,” I said, and kept walking.
“Why’d you buy her a drink?”
“Damn small town,” I muttered.
“You knew I’d find out. Hudson is like a schoolgirl with a secret. He can’t keep anything to himself. And after what she pulled last year, we’re all on high alert with her.”
I shrugged and lied my ass off. “I just bought her a drink.”
“Yeah, but why?”
“Because she looked like she needed it.”
His brows went up. He crossed his arms over his chest. He leaned back and appraised me.
I didn’t like being evaluated. I’d been found wanting far too often in my life, and it wasn’t a fun situation to be in.
“Do you know her?”
I shook my head. Another lie. I knew better.
“It’s probably best if you stay away from her. She’s bad news.”
I nodded once. “Understood. Although last I checked, I make my own decisions.”
Rucker snorted. “Trust me. This is a decision you want to agree with me on. She almost ruined Ramsey’s marriage. She tried to break them up by manipulating his wife. All because she had some misguided crush on him. She couldn’t see that she was the only one who was feeling something. She thought if she broke up their marriage that she could have Ramsey for herself. Fifteen years of twisting things and trying to end their marriage. You don’t want to be involved with someone like that.”
I rubbed my jaw and thought about it. Hudson didn’t share that much the night before. She definitely sounded a little insane, but how much of it was true? I’d been on the receiving end of one too many lies a time or two, and it wasn’t easy to come back from something like that. And that was living in a city when no one really gave a shit.
“Good to know. Thanks,” I told Rucker. I continued to my seat and got my day started. It had been a while since I had to run my actions past another person. I wasn’t about to start that again.
Not after the way it ended last time.
Life in a small town was different than what I thought it would be. For some reason, I thought I’d be able to be anonymous. I was definitely wrong about that. People I’d never met before knew my name and asked me how my day was. Going to a call was an exercise in patience instead of an opportunity to do my job. And the worst part of all of it was not letting the people get to me. I had no interest in getting attached because I wasn’t going to be there much longer. Not that anyone else knew.
I was about to head out on patrol when the captain called me into his office. When he told me to close the door, every fiber of my being said to run, but I took a seat instead.
“I need a favor,” Captain Reynolds said. “The local high school needs someone to come down and do a presentation. It’s something we do every year for the entire student body. We want them to know they can come to us, but also be afraid of getting in trouble. It takes a little bit of delicate work to strike the right balance.”
“And you think I’m the right guy for this?” Captain Reynolds was the only person at the precinct who knew all the details about why I was there. He agreed to the temporary transfer. My former captain was a good friend of his and the two of them said this was for the best for me. I wasn’t entirely sure they were right, but I also wasn’t given a choice. It was either this or leave the force.
“I do. A lot of our officers have been there over the years. These kids need to see someone new, someone they don’t know. Roberts has a kid in the high school. Munez has two. Rucker, Allen, and Dewey were there in the last three years.”
“So, I’m the only option?”
Captain Reynolds shook his head. “No, but I think this will be good for you. We also use this as a recruiting opportunity. These kids are all too young to join the force, but it opens up a line of communication to us for the ones who might be interested one day.”
“You get a lot?”
Captain Reynolds shook his head. “No, but about every other year we get one or two. The high school is small, and with less than a hundred kids graduating each year, getting one or two in a couple years isn’t bad.”
“I’m not sure I’m the right one for this.”
Captain Reynolds shrugged. “I disagree. I think you’re exactly right for this. And you’re going to do it.”
I wanted to argue, but I followed orders when they mattered. I didn’t push back against authority. I knew if rules weren’t followed, bad things happened. I’d seen it happen with my own eyes. Ignoring the advice of friends was one thing. Ignoring the order of my boss was another entirely.
“Yes, sir.”
Captain Reynolds nodded once. “The program is Friday. You have a meeting today at one with the principal of the school to go over everything. All the details are in your inbox.”
“Yes, sir,” I said again.
He held my gaze a minute longer then nodded for me to leave.
I went back to my desk and read through the information sent to me. It sounded reasonable enough, but I still didn’t like the idea.
I worked on figuring out how I could get out of the assignment right up until the time I walked into the high school. It was a tiny building, only one floor with a center hall and two wings. The guard at the door took my name and had me wait until someone came to get me before he let me through the security door.
“Thank you so much for coming today,” the woman said when she shook my hand. “Captain Reynolds said you would be perfect for this. We always appreciate having someone come talk to our students.”
“Of course,” I said, not really feeling the warm fuzzy that she was. “Can I ask who you are?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forget you don’t know me. I’m Robin Thomas. I’m the principal here. I’ve been in this job for eight years now. I grew up in MacKellar Cove and taught here for sixteen years, then I decided to move up the ranks when the principal I taught under put in for retirement. There aren’t a lot of opportunities in a school like this, but I didn’t mind because I love teaching. There’s a part of me that still misses working with the kids every day, you know?”
I smiled and nodded because I had no idea what she was talking about or why she was telling me so much. It was the curse of a small town. Everyone knew everyone else’s business and they expected it, so if you didn’t know something, they shared. Way too much.
“How about you? Why did you become a police officer?” she asked as we pushed into the auditorium.
“I never liked art,” I said.
Mrs. Thomas laughed like she thought it was a joke but her laughter died when she saw my face. “Oh, um, that makes sense?”
I didn’t elaborate like she obviously wanted me to. She didn’t really want to hear about my past. She just wanted something she could share with others. Everyone wanted gossip, and they were all looking for whatever gossip they could find on me.
She forced a smile after a minute and turned to the small auditorium. “Okay, well, this is where we’ll have you on Friday. We bring in the students by grade level, so it’ll be four presentations. We have a projector for you if you have a slideshow. We also have a mic and will have teachers here to help you get everything set up.”
“Sounds good,” I said, unsure why I was really there if she was just telling me about the auditorium.
“The topic for this year is Spotting Spirals, so, of course, your talk will have to be about that. How to recognize when a friend or relative is going in a bad direction, what to do about it, and getting help if something is bigger than you can handle. We also have a psychologist coming in to talk, but usually the police officers are better able to connect with the kids.”
It all made sense. Captain Reynolds set me up. He knew exactly what he was asking me to do, and he set me up.
My entire body broke out in a cold sweat as I pictured Sanders’ face.
“We have a pretty good student body, but because they’ve all known each other forever, it’s hard to stand up to each other sometimes. Even the kids who don’t run in the same circles grew up together and know each other. They need some reminders that it’s okay to ask for help. That it isn’t a betrayal to go to a teacher or a counselor if they think someone is in over their head. As adults, we know this, but these kids aren’t always willing to reach out.”
“I got it,” I snapped at her.
She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to the side. Her short gray-blonde hair shifted with the move as her hazel eyes appraised me. “Is there something I need to know, Officer?”
“No,” I said sharply. “I understand the assignment.”
“And it’s one you’re capable of handling? Because these students need to know you’re someone they can speak to. We tell them if they can’t go to a parent or a teacher, to find someone else they trust. A coach, an officer, or someone else they feel comfortable talking to. If you aren’t able to show these students that they can speak to you, this isn’t going to be a good thing.”
“I got it,” I said again. My patience was slipping, but that was the least of my concern. Patience was one thing, but my ability to keep my lunch down was another. My body felt like every nerve was exposed, like even the brush of the heat forced into the room from the high up vents was scalding me. I needed to get the hell out of there.
“Officer Masterson—”
“I need to go, Mrs. Thomas. Thank you for showing me around. I will be here Friday.”
I turned and walked to the auditorium door, not waiting for her to follow me or escort me from the building. I couldn’t be in there another minute. I needed fresh air and clarity. Clarity that would only come with putting my fist through something.
Instead of going back to the precinct, I went straight home. The punching bag in my spare bedroom was calling to me.
I stripped my shirt off as I walked inside. I locked up my gun, then went to the spare room. The first hit stung my hand since I didn’t bother with gloves. The second pissed me off. The third brought a flash of pain with it. The fourth made me feel sick. After that, I pushed everything out and beat on the bag until my knuckles were raw. I screamed out the last of my pain and kicked the bag.
I had no idea how I was going to talk to a bunch of teenagers about recognizing when someone was in a bad spot. It sounded easy enough on the outside, but I was supposed to be there as an authority, as someone who had advice and knew what to say. But it was all lies. I had no idea what to tell them. And if I said anything, it wouldn’t fix anything and it wouldn’t change anything.
Because at the end of the day, I still failed to see the signs. I still failed to recognize the issue. And I still failed to report it in time.
At the end of the day, my partner was in a spiral that I never saw coming, and he killed himself because he couldn’t see any other way out.
And every day I had to live with the guilt of knowing I could have saved him and I didn’t.
