Book Boyfriends Wanted 10: His Curvy Genius

Karissa

I read through the latest email from Maxwell Robertson and put the finishing touches on my proposal. I checked the clock on my computer and switched over to the meeting request he sent me. When it was one minute to the meeting time, I clicked the link to join and waited.

I pasted a smile on my face and stared straight at the screen, waiting for him to appear. When he did, I waved. “Hello, Mr. Robertson. How are you?”

“Good morning, Ms. Thomas. I’m well. How are you?”

“Good, thank you.”

“Good, good. I know we were supposed to talk about your proposal today, but we have decided to go with another designer.” His dark gaze avoided the screen for a moment, like he was looking at someone on the other side of the computer.

I flinched, my smile slipping. My eyes narrowed, and I tilted my head. “Excuse me?” We were having a meeting to discuss my proposal. The proposal he hadn’t even heard yet.

“We’ve been doing our due diligence on all the designers we’ve spoken to, and your name came up with a colleague.” His beard twitched when he spoke. It was peppered with gray in the dark brown, and his dark skin was weathered and loose around his eyes. I thought he looked kind when we spoke the first time, but now I saw him in a very different way.

“Um, okay?”

“We understand this is a competitive business, but the colleague was unable to give us a positive recommendation for you.”

I wracked my brain to think of who might have given me a bad recommendation and only one name came to mind. It had been years since we worked together, but I’d heard a rumor lately that he was in danger of closing his business because of trouble with the app I designed for him. An app he refused to hire me to maintain.

“So, you’re not willing to hear my proposal based on the word of one colleague? I would assume any reasonable business person would want to hear from more than one colleague. I would be happy to give you the names of some of my clients who’ve agreed to be references for me.”

“That won’t be necessary. We have already awarded the contract to someone else.”

My brows shot up. I wanted to tell him exactly what I thought of his business practices, but instead I said, “Well, thank you for letting me know. I wish you the best of luck.”

I hung up before he was able to reply.

Fuck.

I lowered my head into my hands and groaned. The project I was working on was almost finished, and I needed something else when it was done if I was going to pay my bills. I was counting on the money from Mr. Robertson’s project. I thought it was as good as mine. When we spoke the first time, he sounded like I was the only designer they were seriously considering. The proposal felt like a formality more than anything else. I spent hours creating it, and now it was junk.

I deleted the email from him about the call, then went through and filed all the emails from Mr. Robertson into my closed folder. I wasn’t excited about the project, but I was excited about the money. And about the work.

I’d been stuck since Xavier arrived in MacKellar Cove. Trapped inside my own mind. Why was he really there? And what did he want? He talked to me like he still knew me, but he didn’t. We hadn’t spoken in a lifetime. His daughter’s lifetime.

Bitterness welled up inside me. He went out and lived his life. He did the things he wanted to do. And he did them without me. I didn’t hate him for it, but I regretted that I hadn’t done more. I didn’t have a family or a significant other or anything beyond my career. And if I couldn’t come up with some new ideas or secure some work, I wouldn’t even have that.

Why did he have to walk back into my life?

Xavier was a dream I let go of a long time ago. He was someone from my past, not my present or my future, and I needed to forget about him. I needed to push him from my mind and make my world my own once again.

The apartment door opened, and I listened to Finley’s shuffling feet as she moved closer to me. I left my bedroom door open since she was rarely home anymore. She quietly peeked in my room and waved when she saw me looking at her.

“How did your meeting go?” she asked.

“I didn’t get the job.”

“What? I thought you were almost guaranteed it.”

I shrugged. “Me, too. Guess I was wrong.”

“Well, crap. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ll figure something out. How are things going with you? How was yesterday with McJenna?”

“We didn’t go. Or, I didn’t go. It was a rough night. After celebrating George sleeping through the night, he didn’t sleep at all. The irony.”

I snorted. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Yep. I felt bad for ditching McJenna. She really needs to get out of the estate.”

“It’ll get easier when she’s in school.”

Finley nodded. “I know, but I feel bad for her. I wanted to help.”

“I’m sure she gets it. Having a baby is hard.”

Finley nodded again and looked around. She was avoiding something.

“Just say it, Fin.”

She looked at me like she was surprised I was able to read her. We’d lived together for years. I knew her as well as I knew myself.

“We finally set a date,” she said softly.

“What? That’s amazing! Congratulations. When is it? Why don’t you seem happier?”

She fiddled with the massive ring on her finger and chewed on her lower lip. “It means moving out.”

“Um, yeah. Of course. We always knew we wouldn’t live together forever.”

“Yeah, but it’s been years. And I feel like I’m just ditching you. And you didn’t get this job, and—”

“Finley, stop. You’re getting married. It’s exciting and fun and amazing. You found the person you’re going to spend forever with. You should be thrilled, not worried about me. I promise, I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Finley, no. No buts. You love Trent, and he loves you, and you have George. It’ll be easier when you live together, and you’re a unit. You need to be together.”

“I just… It’s going to be hard to live anywhere but here.” She sat on the edge of my bed and looked around the room. “God, we’ve done so much here. It’s been home forever.”

“And you’ll create a new home with Trent and George. When are you planning to move out? When’s the wedding?”

“We decided on September twenty-fourth. Blake’s due in December, so we want to make sure not to go too close to that. September felt right since that’s the month we met.”

“And are you moving in before then, or after?”

She shrugged. Her gaze slid to the floor.

“Finley, you’re allowed to be happy.”

“Am I? Because I feel like my happiness has done nothing but hurt you.”

“It hasn’t been on purpose,” I said. When Xavier moved and we realized who he was, I was angry. I wanted to blame anyone and everyone, but the only person who was really to blame was Xavier. He knew where I lived, and he knew Finley and I were friends. He wasn’t surprised the day he moved in when he found me on the patio.

But it still hurt. Even though I didn’t blame Finley or Trent, it was hard to be around them and be happy for them and know their happiness brought heartache to me.

“It still hurt you. And that’s not fair. I don’t want you to not want to be around us. And if I move out, I’m afraid I won’t see you again.”

“You’ll still see me. We’ll get together. We have Book Club every week, and we’ll do things. It’ll be different, but that’s okay.”

“I still can’t believe he never said anything to Trent about knowing you. All those years.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter even if he did. It’s all in the past. He’s in the past.”

“Is he?”

“Yes. In fact, I was thinking about checking to see if I had any matches. I need to move on with my life. I took care of my health last year with the mastectomy, and now it’s time for me to take care of my happiness. To find someone to share my life with.”

Finley didn’t say anything, which spoke volumes more than any words. I ignored her silence and clicked through to my app, the one that had brought not only Finley and Trent together, but many of my other friends. The app I created out of my heart with my mother in mind the entire time because she was the matchmaker. She was the one who could see two people who needed each other.

I just wish she’d found someone for me before she passed.

“You know you don’t have to be strong for me. Or pretend it doesn’t bother you.”

“I know, but I can’t live my life wondering what he’s doing. I spent the last seventeen years trying to forget him. And now that he’s back, I’m not going down that path again. I can’t. I don’t trust that he’s here for good.”

“He says he is.”

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing has changed as far as I’m concerned. He has a life, and I have a life, and they don’t have anything to do with each other.”

Finley didn’t reply as I opened the app and looked through possible matches that had come up. The first guy was clever and funny. His profile pic was a hammer, which made me laugh. When I set that up as an option, I wondered if it would actually come up for anyone. Guess it did.

My profile pic was a crown because I was the queen.

I accepted that match and moved to the next one. He checked the boxes, but he wasn’t entertaining in his post. He came across as stiff and unbending. I didn’t think I could handle that, even in a first meeting. I denied that one.

The third match actually made me laugh out loud. He was sarcastic and self-deprecating, which I loved. If someone couldn’t laugh at themselves, I didn’t have time for them. I accepted that one, then set my phone back on my desk.

“Are you going to be able to pay for this place alone?” Finley asked.

I’d been wondering the same thing, and I honestly wasn’t sure if I was willing to. “I can, but I’m not sure I want to. It would mean having very little extra income.”

“Again, I feel like I’m deserting you.”

“You’re not. I’ll figure things out. If I stay for a few months and then go, it’ll be fine. If I decide to leave sooner, that’s okay, too.” I had plenty of savings and had considered buying a small house, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I had a lot of choices to make in the next few months.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. It’s okay. Hey, I need to get back to work. Do you need anything else?”

“No, sorry. I’m going to grab some clothes and head back to Trent’s.”

“That’s your place, too. You can call it home.”

Her lips turned up in a ghost of a smile. “Maybe one day it’ll feel like that.”

Finley waved and went to her room. Not long later, the front door closed behind her and I was alone again.

* * *

I got messages from the two guys I matched with and talked to them a little over the next few days. I was determined to put Xavier out of my mind, but he was taking up more of a residence the harder I resisted.

Sunday night was Book Club. I hadn’t seen Finley since she picked up things a few days earlier. She was smiling and looked more rested when she let me into Book Boyfriends Unlimited.

“Did George sleep again?”

She groaned. “Yes, thankfully. It’s been a good weekend.”

“That’s great news. How’s everything else going?”

“Good. My mom is driving me a little nuts. She’s anxious to start planning.”

I laughed. “Of course she is. She’s going to enjoy this.”

Finley nodded, laughing as she led the way to the back where we all sat. “I’m almost dreading it. I love my mom, but it’s going to be a little crazy.”

“You’ll survive. It’s nice she wants to be involved.”

Finley hesitated, then nodded. When Blake and Ian got married, Blake’s mom was barely involved. Melody and Willow’s mom was difficult at best, and my mom was already gone. Finley was lucky.

“I need to remember it could be very different.” Finley’s voice was softer, regretful.

Before I had a chance to say anything else, someone knocked on the door. Finley left to answer it while I pulled out my phone to look at the book we’d all read. I finished it the night before, and even though we didn’t always talk about the book, I wanted to refresh my memory of the story.

A wounded soldier returned home to help his father after a stroke left him unable to care for himself, and he met the home health assistant who was hired to take care of his father. The two of them developed a friendship that turned into more as the father told them the story of falling in love with his mother. The two stories in one, following both men as they found themselves and love in someone unexpected. I enjoyed the book more than I thought I would. It reminded me that love was possible even when we doubted it.

“Hey, Rissa,” Blake said, joining me on the couch. Her newly expanded belly led the way into the room. She was four-and-a-half months pregnant, but her belly was making sure the entire world knew.

“How are you feeling?” I asked her.

“Really good. I have energy for now. Julie keeps saying it won’t last and to enjoy it while I have it.”

“Finley was that way, too. But you should be good for a few more months.”

“I hope so. Right now, I’m eating everything in sight. The little one is growing.”

“Are you going to find out the gender?” I asked.

“We haven’t decided yet. Ian wants to be surprised, but I’m leaning toward finding out. In a way, it doesn’t matter because we’re going to have a neutral nursery and all the big items will be neutral. But I struggle to not know.” Blake scrunched up her nose.

“I wanted to know,” Finley said. “I needed to have some feeling of control over the shitshow that my life was at the time.”

“I get that,” Blake said thoughtfully. “I think I just don’t like being in the dark about anything. If someone knows, I want to know.”

“That’s how I am, too,” I admitted. “I don’t think I would have waited if I’d ever had kids.”

“You could still have kids,” Blake said.

I shook my head. “I gave up on that dream. A long time ago. And I’m okay with it.”

“She’s back in the app,” Finley provided as she walked away to let more people in.

“You are?” asked Blake. “What made you decide to start dating again?”

Melody, Willow, and Elise heard the end of Blake’s question.

“Are you dating Xavier?” Elise asked.

“No. Definitely not,” I said.

“Why not? I thought he was your one and only,” Willow said.

I shook my head. “Once upon a time, I thought so. But that was a lifetime ago. A lifetime I let go of.”

“Did you, though? Did you really let go of it?” Melody asked.

“I had to. We wanted different things. And neither of us were willing to give up what we wanted for the other. I second guessed that choice for a long time, but when Mom got sick, I knew it was the right decision. I got to spend her last few years with her. To be with her at the end. If I’d followed Xavier and built a life with him, I would have resented him when I missed out on being with my mom. And now, it’s too late for us.”

I shrugged like it was no big deal, even though it was. All the major things in my life made me think about Xavier. When my mom died and when I had my mastectomy, I thought about him the most. It would have been nice to have him, or someone, there with me, but it wasn’t meant to be. I survived those things alone. I survived them with my friends. Never with Xavier. I didn’t need him in my life.

“Why is it too late?” Melody asked. “If you’re dating, why can’t you date him?”

“We were kids when we dated. It was special and magical and amazing, but it wasn’t real life. We got to be young and crazy together, to enjoy our early twenties together, but the challenges of life, we tackled alone. Too much has happened. He’s a stranger to me.”

“He doesn’t have to be,” Blake said.

I forced a smile and shook my head. They didn’t get it. They were all in relationships and happy. They saw love as something real that was right there every day. For me, it was a fantasy. One I desperately wanted to believe in but struggled to grasp. It had always been that way.

“If Karissa doesn’t want to date X, she doesn’t have to,” Finley said. “He lied to everyone and ambushed her. She deserves better than that.”

“Thanks, Fin,” I said.

She smiled at me, but her gaze was worried instead of sure. “I just want you to be happy. And you haven’t been since he got here.”

“I’m fine. I’m happy. Xavier Hogan has zero effect on me. I promise.”

I grabbed a slice of cake and smiled broadly. Maybe if I pretended, we’d all believe it one day. Even me.