McJenna came down the stairs a little after eight the next morning. When she saw me sitting at the island, she stopped.
“You’re here.”
I nodded, wondering why she was confused. “We talked about this last night. I said I was taking today off. Do you not remember?”
She shook her head. “I do. I just didn’t think you were actually going to take the day off.”
“Wow,” I breathed. That one hurt.
“I’m sorry, but lately all you’ve done is work.”
I stood and went to her, taking her hand and pulling her to the island where I had my cup of coffee and was ready to make anything she wanted for breakfast. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s true. That’s part of why I wanted to take today off. I’m working too many hours and I’m not myself right now.”
She nodded slowly, like she didn’t believe me. I couldn’t really blame her. My actions the last few months, years really, said the only thing that mattered was my job. It was going to take more than one day of showing up for my kid to prove I meant what I said.
“How about breakfast? French toast? Pancakes? Eggs and bacon? Omelet? What sounds good? Or we can go out.”
“French toast?” Her voice lifted at the end like she was asking.
“Got it.” I grabbed the items I needed and started working on my infamous French toast while she watched me like I was going to run away at any moment.
I mixed the ingredients together and put the first piece of thickly sliced fresh bread into the frying pan before McJenna said anything else.
“Your phone’s ringing.”
Fuck me. I just wanted a day off.
I ignored the phone for a minute, focusing on food instead. If it was work, and I was sure it was, Genevieve could handle anything. I wasn’t going to leave her hanging for long, but I was going to get my kid breakfast before answering the call.
“Are you okay?” McJenna asked.
“Of course. Why?” I turned to face her and found her smirking at me.
“You just ignored a phone call. I think your head might explode.” She snickered, her face lighting up with humor.
“Ha ha, smart ass. Last I checked, you’re just as glued to your phone as I am.”
Her smirk turned to a scowl, and she rolled her eyes. “Not anymore. I don’t have anyone to talk to. All my friends, the few I did have, blew me off when we moved. They said if I wasn’t coming back next year, there was no reason to keep in touch over the summer.”
“Seriously?” I blurted before I could stop myself. What assholes.
She shrugged like it was no big deal, but I saw the hurt on her face. Everyone had abandoned her. She was alone in MacKellar Cove. Something I ignored for far too long.
“It’s no big deal.”
I deposited the first slice of French toast on a plate and slid it across the counter to McJenna. I got butter and syrup from the fridge and set them in front of her with a fork and knife.
While I calmed my raging emotions, the prominent one being guilt, I added another slice into the frying pan. Then I faced my kid.
“I’m sorry about your friends. And I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I’m going to start taking more time off and working a better schedule. I wanted to get the theater up and running as quickly as possible so it was bringing in money. That’s what Uncle Trent is paying me to do.”
“And you think we’re taking advantage of him.”
I shook my head even as I knew it was a lie. I did feel that way, but I didn’t want her to feel that way. “He’s always said we’re his family. He thinks of you as his own.”
“But I’m not. I won’t get this house or the hotels or anything else.”
“None of that really matters, J.”
“No, it doesn’t. Not really, but it means I’m not his. George is. And I love him, and I don’t feel like I should have something, but what am I supposed to tell people about where we live? You know they’re going to ask.”
“I didn’t know that was bothering you. Do you think people are going to judge you?”
She shrugged and put a bite of French toast in her mouth to avoid answering me right away. I knew that trick and waited her out as I finished cooking the second piece. I slid it onto her plate and started a slice for me.
“Finley was teasing Uncle Trent about how things were when they were growing up. About him being the rich kid everyone wanted to be friends with.”
“And you think people are only going to want to be friends with you because you live here?”
“I’m not a rich kid. I live here, but I feel like I’m the help instead of supposed to be here.”
My brows shot up, and I rocked back on my heels. Damn. “You are not the help. Neither of us are.”
“Aren’t we? You work for Uncle Trent. That makes you the help.”
“Yes, technically, but it’s different.”
“Dad, it isn’t.”
I scowled at her and grabbed my French toast off the frying pan. I added a second piece even though I wasn’t sure I could eat it.
Yes, I’d been feeling like McJenna and I needed to find our own place, but I didn’t want her to feel like we should. Trent adored her, and he always treated her like she was his. Over the years, more than a few people thought we were a couple because of the way we were with McJenna. Trent may not have contributed DNA, but he was her family.
“I thought you were excited about living here. What changed?” I asked.
She focused on her plate instead of meeting my gaze across the island. “I guess being here instead of the hotel made me realize it’s not normal. Finley and Karissa live together, but they both pay half. Finley is worried about Karissa not being able to afford their condo with Finley moving out. I just realized our life is very different. It’s not normal.”
I sighed and tried to find the words to tell her she was right without telling her she should feel bad.
“When your mom left… I struggled. Trent was working for me then and knew what happened. He invited us to move in with him so I wasn’t raising you alone. We were friends, and he was already spending a ton of time with us, and it made sense at the time. As you got older, he and I talked more than once about us finding our own place, but Trent refused to hear of it. He kept telling me we were his family and that he wanted us there. I paid for as much as I could, as much as he would let me, but he pushed back most of the time. Trent’s stupid rich, and people always wanted to be friends with him because of his money instead of him.”
“That’s dumb. He’s awesome.”
“I agree. And that’s why he kept us close. Because to us, he’s Trent. He’s not some rich guy, he’s family. It was the first time he was more than a bank account to someone.”
“That sucks.”
I nodded. “It does. But after all these years, and George and Finley in his life, there is a part of me that feels like things have changed.”
“Do you want to leave?”
“Only if you do. But I’ve been thinking about it and looking for options. There are some decent homes not far from here, so we would still see Trent, George, and Finley all the time, but we’d have our own home.”
“Can we drive by some of them today?”
I smiled at her and nodded. “Of course.”
“Good. We’ll start with that.”
Damn, I had an amazing kid.
After breakfast, we both showered, and I returned Genevieve’s call, then we headed out. I didn’t have an appointment with a realtor, so we just drove by the houses and looked at them from the road.
McJenna didn’t love any of them and said we should keep looking. She was on the hunt now, too, but I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.
Our first stop of the day was Catherine Park. Since we had breakfast at home, we decided to start with a walk along the Riverwalk and go from there.
“It’s pretty here,” McJenna said after a few minutes of walking.
I nodded. The morning sun was bouncing off the water in the cove and on the river, making everything sparkle. It was peaceful with the sound of the waves slapping against the wall the walkway was built on. A breeze danced around us, cooling off the already warm morning.
“Do you really think things will be better here?”
“I do, J. The way Trent talked about this place, I think it’s going to be good for you.”
“And Karissa?”
“What about her?” I asked, trying not to sound defensive.
“What about the way she talked about this place?”
I exhaled quietly, hoping J didn’t pick up on the fact that I was holding my breath. “I wasn’t willing to hear what Karissa had to say about MacKellar Cove when we knew each other.”
“Why not?”
“It wasn’t what I wanted for my life. I wanted cities and excitement and a big career. I wanted to run a news program and tell important stories. I never wanted to play small.”
“But now you do?”
“When did you become so grown?”
“When you were at work.”
“Damn. Okay. Again, I deserve it. To answer your question, I’ve realized that the things I wanted back then aren’t the things that gave me a full life.”
“What do you mean?”
I looked out at the water and waved my hand at it. “When we lived in Niagara Falls, I never stopped to take in the beauty of where we lived.”
“We went to the Falls every year.”
“Yes, but it was something we did. We planned it and spent the day there and played tourist, then we went home and nothing had really changed.”
“Are you saying walking along the water right now is changing you?” Her voice dripped with skepticism and sarcasm.
“No, but stopping to enjoy it might. Like you said, normally, I’d be at work. Even you were surprised I actually took the day off. I don’t want you to not care what happens with my remains when I die.”
“Ew, gross.”
I chuckled. “I just mean, I don’t want to be forgotten. I don’t want my only impact in life to be the broadcasts I produced. I want there to be more.”
“And moving here is going to make that happen? Because people will remember you as the movie theater guy?”
I shook my head. “The opinion that matters the most to me is yours, J. I want to leave a mark on you. And being here… we moved here because I wanted to be able to spend the last few years you’re at home with you. I don’t want you moving out the day you turn eighteen and never looking back.”
“I won’t.”
I shrugged. “I hope not, but I don’t know. The way things were going in Niagara Falls, I felt like that was going to happen. Trent made it sound like we could create a different life here. One that was slower and better in a lot of ways. That’s what I want.”
“One that includes Karissa?”
My heart squeezed at the sound of her name, and I couldn’t deny, to myself, that I wanted that, too. But if it didn’t happen, if she didn’t give me another chance, I still moved to MacKellar Cove for McJenna. “We’ll see.”
We walked silently for a few minutes, passing all the shops until the pathway narrowed and pushed us to a sidewalk at the end. We kept walking, not worrying about where we were. It was impossible to get lost.
“I like her, you know. Karissa. She seems great.”
“She is,” I said instantly. “She’s always been kind and smart and funny. You remind me a lot of her.”
“Too bad she isn’t my mom.” McJenna kicked a rock on the sidewalk and clenched her fists.
I’d been honest with her since she was little about her mom. I didn’t want someone to say something and make her question the truth. But growing up knowing your mom didn’t want you wasn’t easy. We’ve had more than our share of blow-ups as a result. But that was the first time J ever said she wished she had a different mom.
“I wish things were different. And I hate that your mom didn’t stick around. But that’s on her, not you. You aren’t to blame.”
“If she didn’t have me, she might not have left.”
“We weren’t right for each other. And she wasn’t ready to be a mom. None of that is on you, though. We are the ones who made the choices that got her pregnant. And I made the choice to be your father because I loved you from the moment she came to me with tears in her eyes and said she was pregnant.”
“Did you know she was going to walk away when she told you?”
I shook my head. “No. I thought things would be okay. She never mentioned abortion or acted like she was anything but happy.”
McJenna nodded slowly, kicking stones and staring at the ground.
“Want to head back toward town? Maybe we can check out that bakery Finley mentioned before we go on our tour.”
“Ooh, yeah. I forgot about that. Let’s go.”
I smiled at her excitement and turned back to MacKellar Cove. Our conversation was lighter, McJenna guessing what options they would have at Cove Bakery.
“Is that it?” she asked, spotting the pink and white awning out front of the store.
I nodded. “It looks like it.”
There was a line out the door of people waiting to get their sweet treats. We stepped in behind a young couple with their arms around each other.
“I wonder what today’s special is?” the woman asked. “I hope it’s something with chocolate.”
“You love your chocolate,” the man said.
“There’s a special?” McJenna whispered.
The woman turned, her hand on her very pregnant belly. “There is. Valentina makes something different every day. There’s always the regular stuff on the menu, but she adds something different.”
“Valentina?” McJenna asked.
“The baking mastermind behind this place. Harriett works the register now since she can’t really do the baking anymore. She’s the one who opened Cove Bakery before I was even born. Valentina started working for her years ago, and now she does all the baking. Harriett lets her experiment and have fun, trying out new things and offering limited exclusives.”
“Is that why there’s a line?” I asked.
The woman nodded. “It is. Usually the daily special is sold out by lunch, so people get in line so they can try it. Where are you two visiting from?”
McJenna looked up at me like a deer caught in headlights.
I smiled and shook my head. “We’re not. We moved here at the beginning of summer.”
“Oh, well, welcome. Where do you live? We’re over on Peach Street. There are a lot of high school students on our street. It’s a great family area. I’m Jill, by the way.”
She offered her hand, and I shook it. “Hi, Jill. I’m Xavier. And this is McJenna.”
“So nice to meet you both. This is my husband, Anthony.”
Anthony smiled and shook my hand, a man of few words as he let Jill do all the talking.
“Have you met a lot of kids since you moved here?” Jill asked McJenna.
“No, not really. My dad’s been working a lot. I haven’t had a chance to really get out and see the town,” McJenna said.
“Are you in a neighborhood?” Jill asked.
“Honey, they might not want to tell complete strangers where they live,” Anthony said gently.
Jill gasped. “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think. Everyone knows everyone here so it never dawned on me you would think that’s weird. I apologize.”
“It’s fine. It’s not a big deal. We’re actually living at MacKellar Estate right now.”
“MacKellar Estate? Like the mansion on the other side of the cove?” Jill asked.
I hesitated and nodded, unsure how the rest of the conversation was going to go.
“Well, no wonder you haven’t met anyone. It’s isolated out there. Beautiful, but I imagine hard for a kid. You should get out and see the town more. Meet some people before school starts,” Jill said.
“That’s part of what we’re doing today.”
We all moved forward as people in front of us took their treats and found tables.
“That’s good. It’s hard to move, but to move somewhere so isolated isn’t good. You—”
“Jill, honey. Give them a break,” Anthony said. “I’m sure Xavier and McJenna are going to figure it out. And the soon-to-be mom they randomly met in town is not going to fix everything for them.”
Jill’s cheeks reddened, and she looked up at me with an apology in her eyes. “I overstepped. I’m so sorry. I tend to do that a lot.”
I shook my head. “It’s fine. I promise. It’s an adjustment for us to be here, and then to be at the Estate, it’s been more of a challenge than we expected.”
“Where are you working?” Jill asked.
“Honey, seriously?” Anthony gasped.
“Sorry,” Jill said. “I need to just stop talking.”
“You’re fine. I’m working on the theater. Getting it ready to open back up again,” I told her.
“Oh, yay! I have been dying to see what’s going on in there. I haven’t been since I was a kid, but I’m really excited it’s going to open up again.”
“We’re thinking fall. I think it’s going to be great. We’re really looking forward to it.” I smiled at McJenna, who really couldn’t care less, but she smiled at me, anyway.
“That’s smart. After the summer guests head home and some places get quieter. It’ll be a nice new attraction for the locals,” Jill said.
“That’s good to hear.”
“Next!” the woman behind the counter called out.
“That’s us, honey,” Anthony said, tugging on Jill’s arm.
“Ooh, I need my chocolate. Enjoy! And nice meeting you both,” Jill said, smiling and waving.
We waited until Jill and Anthony got their order, then stepped up to the counter for our turn. McJenna asked what the special was and got a chocolate eclair. I ordered a peanut butter cup brownie. We both asked for bottles of water and decided we’d go back after our tour to get some desserts to bring home.
I paid and turned from the counter to find a seat. We were almost to a table when McJenna stopped.
“Karissa! Hi! You have to sit with us,” she gushed. Loudly. For the entire place to hear. Leaving Karissa no room to say no.
God, I loved my kid.
