I signed my name and handed over my license to the woman who ran the afterschool program at MacKellar Cove Community Center. Would she ask for my license every day for the full school year, or was it just because we were only a week in and everyone was new?
“How was today?” I asked her.
“Good,” she said with forced cheer. “Everyone had a great day!”
I tried to figure out if it was the blanket lie she told all parents or if there was a problem specifically with my kid.
As soon as I saw Jude, I knew the answer.
He dragged his feet toward me, staring at the ground and sulking the entire way.
Shit.
“Hey, bud. You ready to go home?” I asked my eleven-year-old.
He shrugged, the preteen years already showing up.
“Well, it’s time to go, so no choice. Let’s get something to eat. What are you in the mood for tonight?”
Another shrug told me it was going to be a rough night. Was he tired? I clenched my jaw at the thought. My new neighbor was not respectful at all of the fact that not everyone had the freedom in their schedules to be up all night long. Her parties were keeping both Jude and me up past our bedtimes and now, they were affecting his school.
I stayed silent until we made it to my truck. If he wouldn’t talk to me with others around, there was no reason to push for it. He climbed up in the backseat and buckled his seatbelt, then crossed his arms and scowled at me.
“What’s going on? Why are you grumpy? Are you tired?”
“No. I just hate going there.”
“Where? To school?”
“No! To that afterschool thing. Why can’t I just go home?”
“You’re too young, Jude. We had this conversation.”
“None of my friends go there. They go home after school.”
“Alone? Or do they have a parent waiting for them?”
Jude’s silence answered the question for me.
I warred with myself. Sixth grade was middle school, and the district allowed the kids to get off the bus alone. To go home without an adult present. But I wasn’t comfortable with it. Not when Jude would be home alone for three or four hours every afternoon. I’d barely started leaving him home for an hour, and three or four was way beyond me.
We drove home without another word. Being a single parent came with countless questions about what I was doing, and if my choices were the right ones. The way Jude dragged his backpack inside told me this decision was not one he agreed with. At all.
I let Jude go inside, then turned back to the street to get the mail. It was nice out, Upstate New York still holding on to the last warm days of summer before fall officially took over.
“Good evening, Derek,” Mrs. Walsh said, calling from across the street. “How’s the school year starting so far?”
I bypassed my mailbox and checked both ways before crossing the dead quiet street. When Sasha and I bought the house, the neighborhood feel and quiet street were the biggest selling points. They still were, as long as my new neighbor wasn’t having a party and her dog wasn’t trying to knock down the fence that separated our yards.
“Hi, Mrs. Walsh. How are you?”
“I’m doing real well, Derek. And you know I told you to call me Faith.”
“I’ll try, but you know it’s not in me to do that.”
Mrs. Walsh laughed, the sound a balm on my battered soul. She was a bright spot in my day. Between work and home, I didn’t have a lot of things that made me smile.
“What has Jude so unhappy today?” Mrs. Walsh asked, her keen eye not missing the attitude my son dragged into the house with his backpack.
I glanced back to make sure Jude wasn’t outside, then shook my head. “He doesn’t want to go to the afterschool care program. He said none of his friends are there.”
“Where are they?”
“Home. Sixth graders are allowed to get off the bus without an adult.”
Mrs. Walsh sighed, shaking her head. “I know the strings need to be cut eventually, but it seems like we’re trying to cut them younger and younger. When my kids were young, I’m sure it was the same, but I was home. Everyone I knew was the same. Families don’t operate the same way now.”
“No, they don’t,” I agreed, thinking of the easy way my ex walked away, without a second thought about her son and what it would do to him to know his mother didn’t want him enough to stay in the area where she could be in his life at all.
“In my day, we also watched out for each other. Why don’t you let Jude come to my house?”
“I couldn’t,” I said before she could even finish her question.
“You could. Or I could come to your house so he’s at home and comfortable.”
“It’s too much to ask.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m offering,” Mrs. Walsh said. “Middle school is hard enough on a kid. What do you say we give it a try? See how the first few weeks go and evaluate from there?”
“I don’t know, Mrs. Walsh.” I was not going to agree. I couldn’t. Jude was my responsibility. Making sure he was safe was up to me. I couldn’t leave him in the care of someone who wasn’t family, even if Mrs. Walsh felt like it at times.
“I know you don’t do well asking for help, Derek. You don’t like to count on others—”
“It’s not—”
“It is. And I understand that. I didn’t let anyone else take care of my kids when they were little. But I’m home, Derek. I’m just a lonely old woman who’s trying to make sure this neighborhood is what it was when my kids were the young ones. Safe and friendly.”
She was good. Damn good. Because the more she talked, the more I wanted to agree with her.
“Start with a week, Derek. Go from there. I bet others would help if you asked, too.” Mrs. Walsh’s nod toward my next-door neighbor didn’t go unnoticed.
I snorted. “Not everyone who lives in this neighborhood is going to be reliable and helpful.”
“She’s having a party this weekend,” Mrs. Walsh said.
“That’s not a surprise.”
“A neighborhood party. She wants to get to know everyone. I think it’s a great idea. Too many people have moved onto the street and never gotten to know each other. Hopefully you and Jude can come.”
I shook my head. “I’m working all weekend. The shop is open Saturday and Sunday.”
“You need some time off, Derek. If you work every day, you’re going to drive yourself mad.”
I nodded. She was right, but it was the only option. I couldn’t leave the shop in the hands of the guys. They were capable, but something always came up. Something I needed to handle. Something they didn’t have time to handle if they were going to do the jobs assigned to them. “I’m okay.”
Mrs. Walsh’s look was pointed. She knew I was lying, but she didn’t call me on it. “How about I take Jude to the party? It’s on Saturday afternoon. Starts at two and runs through dinner. Probably over around seven.”
I shook my head the whole time she spoke. “Jude comes to the shop with me on Saturdays.”
Mrs. Walsh didn’t push, but the desire to do so was in her eyes. “If you change your mind…”
“Thanks, Mrs. Walsh. Enjoy your evening.”
“You, too, Derek. Think about my offer.”
I waved to her and jogged back across the street. I grabbed my mail, peeling the folded piece of neon orange paper from under the flag on the side of the box. I opened the orange paper as I walked up the driveway, rolling my eyes when I saw the invitation from my next-door neighbor to get to know each other at her block party Saturday afternoon.
“Not happening,” I muttered under my breath.
I walked into my house, cringing when I heard the TV blaring from the living room.
“Can you turn that down?” I called to Jude.
The indecipherable grumble was the only answer I got before the volume dropped.
“Thank you!”
More grumbling.
Yay.
I climbed the stairs to my room, grabbing clean clothes before I went to the bathroom for a shower. I didn’t like cooking dinner when I was covered in grease and smelled like an engine.
I rushed through my shower, not liking to leave Jude alone after leaving him in afterschool care. When I opened the bathroom door, the TV was once more cranked to full volume.
I sighed. It was the one and only thing he could control. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. Sort of.
I stomped down the stairs, making sure he knew I was coming. The volume quickly dropped to a normal volume before I returned to the living room.
“What do you want for dinner?” I asked him.
He shrugged, not offering any ideas.
“How about burgers?” I asked, knowing it was his favorite food and something he’d likely be happy about.
“Sure,” he said, showing zero enthusiasm.
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. We would not survive the entire school year if he was so unhappy. I hated it. And maybe I was being too overprotective.
“Mrs. Walsh was outside. She said you could go to her house instead of the community center after school.”
“Really?” He turned to look at me, his brown eyes skeptical but curious.
“Yeah. Or she said she could come here so you’re comfortable.”
“I could come home?” It was the most excited he’d been since I picked him up.
“Maybe. We have to talk about it.”
“I’ll do anything. I’ll clean my room and pack my lunch and… and… and anything else.”
“Help me with dinner?” I asked.
Jude jumped up and hurried to the kitchen.
I smiled and followed him, running my hand over his short hair. My heart squeezed. I’d do anything for my son. Anything to make him happy. Just one offer had him excited. How could I say no?
Saturday morning, Jude dragged himself downstairs for breakfast. He rested his head on his hand and ate his cereal while I drank a very large cup of coffee.
The neighbor had people over again the night before, and we were dragging.
Barking outside drew my attention to the window. Her dog was running around the backyard, barking like it was chasing something. Not that anything was there. The dog was a wild menace.
“Damn dog,” I muttered.
I looked down at her shorts. How they qualified as shorts, I didn’t know. I’d seen panties that covered more skin than those shorts. Thick, lush thighs and endless creamy skin. My dick thickened at the thought of wrapping those thighs around my shoulders and diving into the treasure between.
“Dad?” Jude asked, bumping into me. “What’s going on?”
I swallowed my groan. “Nothing.” I cleared my throat. “Nothing. Just watching that pain in the patootie dog next door run around like a crazy animal.”
“I think he looks funny. He’s always smiling.”
“When did you see the dog?”
“I was outside once when he jumped up on the fence. He stopped when he saw me, like he was surprised I was there. I think he was scared, but I held out my hand and he licked it. Then he smiled and barked and went back to running around his yard.”
“When was this? I didn’t know. That dog could be dangerous.”
Jude rolled his eyes and dumped the milk from his bowl into the sink. “He’s funny, Dad. He’s not dangerous.” Jude put his bowl and spoon in the sink, then spotted the stack of mail with the flyer I never tossed on top. “What’s this?”
I reached to grab it from him. “Nothing.”
“It says it’s a party,” Jude said, spinning out of my reach. “Can we go?”
“No.”
“Why? It’s next door. And it’s today!”
“And I have to work.”
“You always have to work,” Jude grumbled. His shoulders slumped, the gray tee he wore outlining the childhood shape of his body. He looked younger when he pouted, a leftover note from a less than ideal upbringing.
God, I did my fucking best. But it was never going to be good enough. Not when he didn’t have the childhood his friends had.
“I agreed to start letting you come home after school next week. I’m not going to ask Mrs. Walsh to take you to a party at a stranger’s house.”
“We could meet her. Talk to her. Then she wouldn’t be a stranger.”
“No,” I said immediately. “She’s always having parties, and that dog is going to knock down that fence and get someone hurt. She’s not someone we need to know.”
“You always say we should get to know our neighbors. That we live here so we have friends and people we can count on.”
“Not people like her,” I said, my tone offering no room for argument.
Jude glared at me for a long moment, but he finally sighed and let it go.
He was silent on the drive to my shop. Stone Auto Repair was a dream come true for me. When Mr. Stone retired and offered the business for sale to his employees, I jumped at the chance. I was the only one who wanted to buy it, and it became mine.
Not that it was easy to be the boss. Going from coworker to boss was a bigger hurdle than I expected. I itched to get my hands dirty most days and spent more hours on paperwork and the phone than I ever wanted, but I was proud of the shop and the guys who worked for me.
Ricky, one of the older guys in the shop, walked out when he saw me pull up. He headed to Jude’s door and high-fived him when he jumped out of the truck. Ricky raised his brows at me, silently asking if everything was good.
I rolled my eyes, letting him know things were not great, and he took over, distracting Jude and letting me off the hook.
Like I said, the guys were the best.
A dozen hours later, Jude was less miserable and actually smiling when he got back in the truck to go home. He talked about the vehicles Ricky worked on and what Ricky let Jude help with. He was excited and happy and pleasant.
Until we turned into the driveway and saw the party was still going on next door. The party that was supposed to have been over an hour ago.
“People are still there. Can we go, Dad?” Jude asked, his excited face pressed against the window.
“I’m tired. It’s been a long day. And the party is supposed to be over. People will be going home soon.”
“But Dad…”
“No, Jude.” His face fell, and I added, “Maybe next time.”
He opened his door with a grumble, his words lost in the noise outside as soon as the door was open.
I didn’t move for a minute. Every day, since my new neighbor moved in, just when I thought I was having a good day, something would happen that would change that. The dog would push the fence over just a little more, threatening a collapse. He would bark and interrupt the quiet neighborhood. Jude would get mad about something. Always.
Things were different since she arrived. The couple who lived there before were quiet. They were respectful. They didn’t keep us up. But she was loud all night, and now all day. She made it impossible to sleep. Her dog was a pain, and she was a temptation I did not need in my life.
Or want. I’d been through losing one mother to my son. I wasn’t looking to lose another one. Ever. Which meant staying single was my best and only option.
That app I downloaded? That was to take the edge off once in a while. Not love. Not romance. Not permanent.
Which was why the one woman I was talking to was going to stay on the app. I wanted to meet her, but she was someone I enjoyed talking to. I couldn’t risk meeting her and losing that connection. There was no chance it would be more than what it was.
I had one love in my life. And he was glaring at me from the front porch. He was all that mattered. He was all I cared about. And giving him a life that was good was all I wanted.
Even if it was a little lonely for me. I didn’t matter as much as Jude did.
