Ever had that gut feeling that something bad is about to happen? That your life is about to take a turn you never saw coming? Well, I didn’t have that feeling when I woke up this morning.
I had no clue how drastically my life was about to change. If I had, I might have just stayed in bed. I’ve always been the punchline of everyone’s joke. I’ve never been the skinny girl, or the prettiest in the room.
I’ve heard a lot of names thrown my way in my lifetime and I’ve done my best to shrug them off. I don’t let them see how much it hurts. I can’t give them that satisfaction.
I thought that if they saw I didn’t care about their comments, they would eventually stop. But it turns out, high school kids can be even crueler than elementary kids.
Yesterday, I found out I’d be graduating a semester early. The way our school is structured, I’ll be done with high school by the end of January. I can’t wait for that day to come.
I’ll finally escape from all the bullies. I never tell my parents about the things that are said about me or what I go through every day at school. I don’t want them to worry. It’s my cross to bear.
My dad already has enough on his plate as the mayor and my mom is busy raising five kids. I’m the only girl, and the youngest of the bunch.
School wasn’t always this bad. When my brother, Simon, was still in school, they left me alone when he was around. I only had to endure the torment during classes or whenever he wasn’t there.
Then, two years ago, I met my boyfriend. Fredrick is your typical school jock. There’s no reason he should have been interested in me, but he was.
When he asked me out, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I thought it was some cruel joke, but that didn’t stop my naive self from saying yes.
I gave him my virginity, my first kiss, my first everything. I love him so much that I want to be with him all the time.
Maybe that’s not healthy, but it’s the truth. I’ve always been known to fall hard and fast, and that’s exactly what happened with Fredrick.
But I wish I knew just how much my life was about to change.
“Brighton. Sweetheart, breakfast is ready,” my mom calls up the stairs. It’s seven in the morning. You’d think I’d be able to sleep in on a day when I don’t have school, but sadly, that’s not the case.
“Coming!” I jump from my bed where I was lying lost in my thoughts, and hurry downstairs. I didn’t bother getting dressed since I’m starving. I’m a big girl and I love my food.
The smallest I ever remember being was a size twelve when I was about thirteen. I’ve been a size eighteen in recent years.
I’ve learned to love my body over the course of high school, but it’s still tough when the kids are jerks.
“Good morning!”
“Good morning, princess. Anything you’d like to share with us?” my dad asks with a knowing smile.
“I’m going to see Fredrick after I finish breakfast and get ready?” I question, knowing what he wants to hear, but wanting to build up the suspense.
“You know exactly what I mean, young lady,” he playfully scolds me. I love my daddy. I’m his baby girl, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I am a daddy’s girl, too.
“Spit it out so the rest of the family can celebrate the good news!” I look around the table and see each of my brothers is home.
Theo is the oldest; he’s in his final year of residency at the local hospital to become a surgeon. Then there are the twins, Draxton and Paxton.
They’ve been on the police force since they graduated from high school, after they completed their training, of course. Then there’s Simon. He’s studying politics. He wants to follow in dad’s footsteps.
And then there’s me. I’ll be studying early childhood education with a minor in special education.
“Fine. Fine.” I take a deep breath, being the drama queen that I am, before spilling the beans. “I just found out yesterday that I’ll be graduating at the end of January.”
“That’s awesome, sis! I know you’ve had a rough time in school, so this will be good,” Simon says.
He’s the only one who somewhat knew what was going on at school. I haven’t told anyone else. There’s no need to worry them.
“Oh! Baby girl. That’s simply amazing. I’m very proud of you,” my mom says, getting up from her chair and pulling me into her arms. It’s a big accomplishment for me.
I’ve never been a great student. My brothers could easily make A’s and B’s without even studying. I study my butt off and make C’s and D’s.
“Have you told Fredrick yet? I’m sure he’s going to be so happy for you.” I get congratulations from everyone else as Mom lets me go.
“I’m going over to his house to tell him after breakfast. I wanted to surprise him,” I tell Mom as I sit down and start loading up my plate.
Breakfast passes as it usually does. We have our usual banter, and we talk about how the boys are doing in their endeavors. Mom made eggs, bacon, sausage gravy, and biscuits. It was freaking awesome.
Now, I’m on my way out the door and heading to Fredrick’s house. I threw on a pair of leggings and a sweater that fits me just right.
It didn’t take me long to get dressed after eating, so I was out of the house pretty quickly.
Fredrick only lives five minutes from our house, so I decided to walk. The January weather is cold, but the crispness of the fresh air around me does something to my soul.
You know that feeling when you step outside after a fresh snowfall and take a deep breath? That feeling of the air freezing your lungs, but the smell of the moisture in the air? Yeah, I love that smell.
I reach Fredrick’s place faster than I ever have before. My mind was elsewhere during the entire walk, lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. Being Fredrick’s girlfriend didn’t shield me from the bullies, especially the so-called “popular” girls. The cheerleaders. Not all of them are mean, though. I’m actually friends with a few who can’t stand the rest.
Girls often dislike other girls they consider beneath them. I’m one of those girls. I’m overweight and dating a football player.
Fredrick’s mom opens the door when I knock. “He’s upstairs in his room, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Moore,” I reply. I climb the stairs and head to his room. I don’t bother knocking. I never have before.
I never thought I’d walk in on my boyfriend of two years with another woman. I’m frozen in shock. I can’t move. I just stand there, watching. Listening to her exaggerated moans and his grunts.
I don’t know how long I’ve been standing there when I realize I’m crying.
“F-Fredrick?” His head turns toward me. His eyes don’t show regret, only amusement. He doesn’t even stop.
He keeps thrusting into her, looking into my eyes. Eyes filled with pain and confusion as he reaches his climax.
“Did you need something, Brighton?” he asks.
“I came to tell you something… What—? When—? Why—?” I can’t form the words to the questions I want to ask.
I want to ask why he did this to me. I want to ask what this is. I want to ask when this happened. He seems to understand what I’m trying to say.
The girl next to him snuggles up to him and looks at me with a sickly sweet smile. I’ve never seen her before.
“I’m actually glad you found out. It’s been fucking hell pretending to be attracted to someone like you. I only dated you because the guys made a bet on who could bag the fat girl. I won.
“The longer it went on, the more fun I had. But who would want to actually be with a fat cow like you?”
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. So I just run. I run faster than I ever have before. I run out of his house and toward mine. I run through the front door, not noticing anyone.
I run into my bedroom and throw myself on the bed. All this happened within the last five minutes. The sobs break free. How could he do this to me?
I should have known. This always happens in the movies. How could I be so stupid?
“Brighton, honey? What’s wrong?” I should have known my mom would follow me. I let out another sob and Mom rushes toward my bed. She places a baby on one side of me while she gets in on the other side.
“He w-was with s-someone else, Mama. The thi-things he said t-to me were mean,” I stutter through my sobs.
Mom strokes my hair while I stare at the beautiful baby in front of me. He’s got dirty blond hair and hazel eyes.
He’s a handsome little guy. He’s just staring at me as I blubber like a baby.
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I’m going to go call his mother. Stay with Royal.” Mom gets up from the bed and leaves the room.
I manage to calm down while staring at Royal and take him to one of my favorite places in the entire house: the wrap-around heated porch.
When we get there, I sit down on the swing and stare at the baby.
He won’t judge me, so I tell him the whole story. I get to the end of it when a voice chimes in, “You’re not a fat cow. You’re fucking beautiful and shouldn’t let a man talk to you like that.”
I look up and see the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on. But I know he doesn’t mean what he says. Frederick was right. Who would ever want to be with a fat cow like me?
No one. That’s who.
