The Arrangement Book 5

ANGELA

The elevator doors opened. I walked into the living room and collapsed on the couch. I stared at my phone, seeing my frown in the black reflection of the screen.

Xavier wasn’t picking up.

I'd sent him a text. Hopefully he’d see that at least.

I looked out the windows at the city below. Manhattan was as hustling and bustling as ever, even at night.

Where are you, Xavier?

I curled up into a ball, hugging my knees to my chest.

I got the news just as I’d arrived home from the clinic. The results had come back positive.

I’d been pregnant for two months.

I half laughed, half sobbed into my knees.

I was going to have a baby.

My heart swelled with love, filled to the brim—so much so that I was sure it would spill over and explode into the room around me.

I was so excited to meet my child. Who would they take after? Would they be a boy or a girl? Would they look more like me or their father?

Their father...

Just like that, my happiness was punctured.

I read my text over again, four little words loaded with so much meaning. Sure, it sounded a little dramatic and cliché, but we did need to talk!

Xavier needed to know about my pregnancy. I had to tell him.

But how could I when he wasn’t even sober most of the time? How could I when we barely spoke, when he refused to even try sometimes?

I allowed myself to wallow a few more moments before dragging myself away from the cushions and toward my laptop. I didn’t want to sink into a pit of despair. It was probably bad for the baby.

I turned on my MacBook, and all of my work tabs flashed up on my screen. Marlena Marlboro had asked Zoe and I to organize her gala in Tokyo. I switched away from the window, not wanting to focus on work right now.

I stared at the empty tab for a while before an idea hit me. I pulled up Pinterest, my hands flying across the keyboard.

CUTE BABY CLOTHES

I scrolled through the images, smiling.

I saw an adorable baby dinosaur onesie, complete with soft spikes running down the back. A cute pink dress with a ribbon tied around the waist melted my heart, and I laughed out loud when I saw a onesie with the words I had boobs for breakfast, what did YOU have? printed across the front.

My search eventually took me to cribs, and I fell in love with one colored a soft beige, designed to look like the pumpkin carriage from Cinderella.

My imagination took over. We could use the other bedroom in the apartment for the baby.

We’d repaint it. Maybe have a really beautiful mural on the wall, something with stars, or animals, or, or—

The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open.

Xavier was back.

Before I realized what I was doing, my fingers closed all of the baby-related tabs on my browser. I frowned at myself, shaking my head.

I have to tell him.

I heard something crash onto the floor, and I raced toward the elevator, my heart in my throat.

“Xavier?” I called, panicked.

I found him collapsed in a heap.

“Xavier!”

I ran to him, trying to flip him over so I could see his face. He rolled over with a groan, his bloodshot eyes fluttering open.

“Hey, Angel,” he groaned. His breath reeked of alcohol.

I cradled his head in my lap, my heart breaking.

“Why are you spinning?” he asked.

“How much have you had to drink?”

He shrugged.

I stroked his cheek, brushing his hair away from his eyes.

“You didn’t answer your phone,” I whispered, forcing a smile.

He looked away, avoiding my eyes.

“Sorry.”

I leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.

“As long as you’re safe,” I murmured into his skin.

I felt him stiffen underneath me. He rolled away from me, bracing himself against the wall so he could get up. I went to help him, but he shuddered away from my touch, struggling to get on his own two feet.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” he grumbled.

“What?”

“You should be disgusted with me.”

“Why would I be disgusted with you?” I asked, confused.

His face scrunched up in pain as he stumbled past me, heading toward our bedroom.

“Xavier?”

He ignored me, wobbling on his feet. I hovered around him, fussing over whether I should help him keep his balance. I got the feeling he didn’t want me to touch him. The feeling hurt.

Xavier ripped open our bedroom door, crashing onto the bed.

“I’m a failure,” he groaned, his face buried in a pillow. “A hack. I was kicked out of my own company, and now all I do is sit around and drink and hide my stupid face from the world. That’s what you wanted to talk about, right?”

“No!” I cried. “I wanted to tell you—”

“Don't lie to me, Angela. I’m a fuck-up. You defending me from myself just makes me feel more pathetic.”

I sat on the edge of the bed, tears in my eyes.

He didn’t need the extra stress of a pregnancy right now. How cruel would I have been to put this on his shoulders when he was already carrying so much?

“Xavier,” my voice shook. “You’re not a failure, and you're not useless. I married you because you’re an amazing person, as CEO of Knight Enterprises, or not.”

I sat closer to him, placing a hand on his arm. He didn’t shrug it off.

“You’re just going through a tough time right now, but you’ll get better. I know you will.”

“What if I don’t?” he demanded. He looked up at me, and there was so much pain in his eyes that the tears brimming in mine spilled over. “What if this is who I am now?”

I didn't know what to say. Clearly, I wasn’t getting through to him. He didn’t believe in himself. I could see that he truly believed that he was useless; that he was disgusting, not worthy of my love or affection.

I racked my brain.

What could I say that would get through to him?

He stared at me, and when I couldn’t reply, I saw him nod to himself as if his worst fears were confirmed.

“I knew it,” he muttered darkly. “I’m a goddamn fucking bum. I'm—”

I kissed him, tasting the whiskey on his lips.

If I couldn’t tell him how much I loved him, I could at least show him.

I deepened the kiss, running my hands frantically over his body. I pushed him onto his back, and pressed my body as tightly as I could against his, willing myself to fill the empty holes inside of him.

Xavier was unresponsive beneath me, his lips indifferent to mine. I took his hands and placed them on my waist, grinding my hips into him. His lifeless hands fell down to the mattress.

Frustration welled up inside of me. I dragged my lips down to his neck and bit down.

Hard.

Xavier cried out in pain, and reached up to cup my face. He gently pushed me away from him, and I glared at him with tears in my eyes.

“Did that wake you up?” I asked, my voice shaky.

Xavier glared right back.

We stared at each other, and for a moment I thought that I’d messed up. That this was all for nothing.

Then he pulled me down and kissed me, his touch as desperate as mine. I felt his hands roam along my curves until they rested on my ass. He gave it a vicious squeeze.

I moaned into the kiss, my hands fumbling to undo the buttons of his shirt.

He sat up and ripped his shirt open, and I ran my hands down his chest and along his abs, greedily drinking in the sight of him. His rough hands trailed up my thighs, hitching up my dress. I raised my arms so he could pull it off.

His powerful arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my sides as he skillfully unlatched my bra with one hand. He threw the undergarment away and leaned forward to suck on my breasts.

His teeth bit into my nipple, and I screamed, pain mixing with pleasure. He ran his tongue over my nipple to soothe the fire.

I reached down to stroke him, his hardness straining through the fabric of his pants. I felt him groan, the vibrations moving from his chest to mine.

Lust dripped down my leg, my mind lost in his scent.

“Take me,” I gasped.

Xavier pushed me onto my back, angling himself in between my legs as he tore off his pants. His cock sprang free of his boxers. I licked my hands and reached down to stroke it, feeling his manhood hot and heavy in my grasp.

I thrust my hips upwards to grind into him, sliding my wetness along his length. His cock pulsed with need against me.

“Angela,” he groaned.

The boozy stink on his breath was overpowering.

Suddenly I was nauseous, my brain spinning in my skull.

My stomach, and it began to rush up my throat. I covered my mouth, frantically pushing Xavier off of me.

I was going to be sick.

I scrambled for the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

“Angela?” I heard Xavier’s voice through the door.

“Don’t come in!” I yelled.

Then I threw up.

XAVIER

I sat on the floor outside the bathroom door, listening as my wife hurled her guts out.

“Are you okay?” I called, concerned.

Silence.

“Angela?”

“...It must’ve been something I ate,” she said, her voice small.

“Do you need anything?”

“No,” she said. “Just…go to bed. I’ll handle this.”

“I can help…” I jiggled the door handle.

“No!” she cried, sounding a little hysterical. “I’m fine.”

I got up and walked back to the bedroom, crawling under the sheets. Her words stung a little.

A woman threw up after being intimate with you, I thought to myself. ~That’s a first.~

Logically, I knew that I probably wasn’t the reason Angela threw up.

Still, my pride was bruised. It didn’t help that she refused to let me help her, either.

I rolled over, anger and confusion creeping back into me, slipping in between the sheets. With a groan, I pulled the covers over my head.

I could use a drink.

I got out of bed and padded over to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. I could still hear Angela throwing up in the bathroom.

I'd collapsed onto the bed when I heard my phone buzz in a pile of my discarded clothes.

What the fuck is it now?

I hurled the phone like it was on fire. I wrapped my arm over my eyes, moaning into the darkness.

Fuck. Just what I needed.