Fit for Fire

Adeline

“We’re taking her back to the pack,” Zach declared, turning to face me.

Wait, what? They’re taking me somewhere? I thought, panic rising.

I started to struggle, trying to break free from the wolf’s iron grip. But he was too strong, and I was no match for him.

Zach crouched down in front of me, his soft brown eyes meeting my terrified ones. My wolf seemed to want to calm down under his gaze, but I forced us to keep fighting.

He watched me, his face showing a clear interest.

Then, my heart pounded as I saw him pull out a syringe. I knew he was going to use it on me, and I fought even harder.

But before I could even bare my teeth, he reached out and jabbed the syringe into my wolf’s shoulder. I felt a sharp sting, and then a wave of exhaustion washed over me.

“You’re coming with us,” Zach said gruffly, just as darkness swallowed me.

***

When I came to, I was surrounded by unfamiliar faces. They blurred in and out of focus. I was lying on my back, and the harsh white light overhead was blinding.

I tried to roll away, feeling like I was on fire, and blaming the bright lights.

“She’s waking up! Hold her down!” a woman’s voice shouted.

Hands reached out from all sides, pinning me down.

“Damn it. She’s not healing! She’s losing too much blood!” the same woman’s voice echoed in frustration.

A beeping sound started up next to me. It was weird. It seemed to match my heartbeat. I felt like I should know why that was.

I felt like I was only half present. The other part of me was somewhere else. Confused, I tried to fight against the hands holding me down.

Part of me was missing, and I didn’t know if these people had taken her or if they were trying to bring her back.

“Jeremy! I need you to help hold her down!” the woman yelled again.

A bowl filled with bloody rags was lifted up and over me.

I watched it until it disappeared from my view, which was only a few inches away, as my head had decided it didn’t want to move anymore.

“What did you give her? She should be healing by now! You know some rogues aren’t as strong,” the woman questioned.

A familiar voice replied, “This one is. You should have seen her fight.”

That voice. I’d heard it before, hadn’t I? I couldn’t be sure because there was a strange ringing in my ears.

Someone from behind me took a warm cloth and started to clean my face. The same person cleaned my neck and chest, then moved to my uninjured shoulder.

“She’s unmated,” someone announced.

That voice again. What did that mean?

Why couldn’t I remember where I was? Something bad had happened, and now I was here.

“Hey! Hang in there, little rogue! Doc, I think we’re losing her.”

Losing me? Didn’t he know that part of me was already lost? He should know. He helped take her. The light dimmed, and my eyes started to close.

The ringing faded away just as I did.

My eyes slowly opened. The lights were dim overhead, and for some reason, I thought they should be brighter.

They had been earlier. Earlier? Had I been here before? My body felt heavy. I tried to move my arms, but they wouldn’t budge.

My fingers twitched, but I couldn’t lift my arms.

I turned my head to look at my arm. It was held out at an odd angle, strapped to a movable armrest.

Tubes were taped to my wrist. Following the tubes, I saw an IV bag hanging overhead. It took all my strength to turn my head to the other side.

My other arm was similarly strapped down, my arms spread out like wings on either side of me.

I tried to move my legs, but it was the same story. I could wiggle my toes, but I couldn’t move my legs.

I knew I should be worried, but I just couldn’t muster the energy to care. I knew this was bad, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything.

“How is she?” I heard a man’s voice from somewhere in the room.

“Her deltoid muscle was torn and her cephalic vein nicked. The bite was pretty close to the radial nerve, so she may have nerve damage if she doesn’t heal correctly.

“She wasn’t healing. Her tissues slowly started fusing together a few hours ago. Other than that, her condition seems steady,” a woman answered, her voice laced with anger.

Were they talking about me? I wasn’t healing?

“You never should have used that drug. It’s still in its experimental stages,” the woman said, not giving the man a chance to respond.

Someone, the man I think, sighed.

“I thought it would be a good way to minimize damage. She wasn’t about to come with us without a fight. Even when we had her pinned, she kept fighting,” the man defended.

They must have been talking about me.

“We’ve found her vehicle,” a different voice chimed in from somewhere in the room. “It looks like she lives an hour east of here.

“How did we miss her?” the first man asked.

“I don’t know. It looks like she’s been there a couple of years,” the second voice stated.

“A couple of years?” the first man echoed. “I find it hard to believe she hasn’t been noticed by anyone until now.”

I heard footsteps approaching. I tried to turn my head to see who it was, but I couldn’t tell where they were coming from. Everything was echoing.

“She’s awake, but she’s still very out of it. I doubt you gentlemen will get your answers tonight,” the woman’s voice announced.

A warm hand stroked my head.

“You’re looking a lot better,” she whispered to me as she walked toward my arm.

I turned my head toward my hand with the IV in it. I saw an older woman in a white jacket and blue scrubs, her salt and pepper braid trailing down her back.

A hand, clad in a blue glove, reached for my IV tube, a syringe poised for action. The syringe found its way into the tube, and the IV line was opened.

Moments later, a chilling burn coursed through my veins. A comforting hand resumed its gentle strokes on my head as I succumbed to a deep slumber.

I was cold. So very cold.

My body throbbed with pain, amplified by the biting cold. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the light that was seeping into my unconsciousness.

I clung to my blanket, pulling it up to my chin in a futile attempt to trap the fleeting warmth. A loud, metallic clanging jolted me from my drowsy state into full alertness.

Blinking against the harsh, white lights, I winced at the pain in my head and eyes.

I tried to shield my eyes with my hand, but a sharp pain shot down my shoulder and arm, halting my movement.

The pain served as a harsh reminder of my predicament. I had been captured, but how did I end up here?

My memory of the previous night was fragmented. I distinctly remembered being taken, though. I sat up, pushing myself as far back as I could.

My back met something cold and hard. Glancing around, I realized I was in a small concrete cell with a large metal door.

The door had a small rectangular window. The cell was brightly lit by large fluorescent lights. I was on a small metal bed with a thin mattress.

And I was completely naked.

My breath quickened as I clung to the thin blanket. I tried to cover as much of myself as I could, but the sheet did little to calm my nerves.

It also did nothing to shield me from the cold. Tentatively, I tried to lift my arm again. I could only extend it so far before the pain in my shoulder flared up.

Inspecting my injury, I noticed it had been cleaned and bandaged. While I was naked. And unconscious.

My cheeks flamed. I felt violated and terrified, and I longed for home. But was that even an option anymore?

These people must know what I was. They must have known all along if they had been after me.

What were they planning to do with me?

The sudden sound of footsteps snapped me out of my thoughts. I tightened my grip on the blanket as a flurry of scenarios raced through my mind, none of them promising.

To my horror, the footsteps halted outside my door, and a man peered in at me through the window. I tried to mask my fear.

Look intimidating, I told myself. ~Look fierce.~

The door began to open, and a small scream slipped past my lips. So much for appearing brave.

I pulled the blanket up to my chin as a large, tanned man entered.

He was all muscle, and under different circumstances, I would have reacted very differently to his presence.

My gaze darted to the door as he closed it behind him. All I saw were concrete walls and more fluorescent lights.

Internally, I scrambled to come up with a plan as he turned to face me. Some kind of excuse that would somehow make sense.

I pictured myself trying to convince this man that he hadn’t just witnessed me transform from a wolf into a woman.

That I was perfectly normal and that this was all a big misunderstanding, so we should all just laugh it off and go home.

But the stern expression on his face told me that wasn’t going to happen.

The man surveyed me, his face a mix of disgust and pity. I studied him in return, his face stirring a memory.

Was he one of the men from the forest? He leaned against the metal door, flexing his arms in a show of strength. Despite my fear, I had to suppress an eye roll.

Okay. You’re big, and intimidating, and probably eat baby bunnies for breakfast. We get it.

Finally, after his mini flexing session, he said, “You shifted and were running on pack territory. What were you doing, and where are the others?”

I blinked a few times, taken aback, and also in a bit of a bind. He definitely knew I could shift.

“Ex-excuse me, what?” I managed to ask, trying to keep my voice steady. I swear even my vocal cords were trembling.

“You changed on our land, and you were up to something. What is your mission, who are you with, and where are the others?” he demanded, already sounding annoyed.

I felt like I was in one of those dreams where you’re suddenly back in high school, you walk into class, and you’re handed a test you’ve never studied for.

“P-please. I have no mission. Shifted? Others? I was alone when I was abducted,” I replied, struggling to keep my rising anger in check.

The man pushed off the wall and advanced toward me, his voice rising.

“We watched you take wolf form and run on our territory. We shifted and chased after you. You know what you did. Now you are going to tell me what you are doing here, or I will rip it out of you!”

His words echoed off the cold concrete walls. I flinched at each one. He sounded serious, but for some reason, I could only focus on one thing. He had said “we shifted.”

Did that mean…?

The man’s teeth elongated, and I stared at them in a mix of fear and fascination. I stood up and reached a tentative hand toward his mouth.

I stopped myself when the man growled. He looked shocked, clearly taken aback by my reaction.

“You can do it too? Shift?” I wrinkled my nose slightly at his choice of words.

He took a step back, studying me again. “Yes,” he replied softly, seemingly unsure of the situation.

“What were you doing here?” he asked again, his voice still soft.

“I just wanted to run,” I answered honestly.

He shook his head, as if trying to clear it. “You’re a rogue. Are you alone, or do you usually run with others?”

This time, I was the one to take a step back. My hands, clutching the blanket, trembled along with the rest of me as a wave of desperation and anger washed over me.

Inside, I was a storm of emotions, my wolf raging, desperate to fight her way out of this cell, desperate to survive.

It only added to the confusion of my already tumultuous feelings.

“Look, I don’t have a clue what a rogue is. I’m sorry if I trespassed or something, but that doesn’t mean you can just snatch up whoever you want.”

I was trembling more now, silently hoping I hadn’t angered this man. But I was barely in control at this point.

“I don’t run with anyone. I’m alone. Just me. I’ve never met anyone else like me.”

After sizing me up, the man turned to leave.

“Wait!” I called out, desperation in my voice. “Please, what is this place? If it’s some kind of lab, I don’t belong here. I’ve never hurt anyone. Please. I won’t tell anyone. Just let me go home.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. My wolf was furious. To her, this wasn’t the time to submit. The man just gave me a soft look and walked out the door.

I stood there, staring at the door for a moment before I crumbled back onto my bed, silent tears streaming down my face. It was over. They knew what I was.

I didn’t know how to process this situation anymore.

Who knew what they would do to me. What if they didn’t believe me? What if they wanted to find others and I couldn’t give them that?

Would I be worthless to them? What would they do if I had no value to them?

I curled back into my original position, my legs pulled to my chest as I shivered. It was still freezing, and I was still naked.

Would it have been so hard to give me a shirt? The whole time I had been sitting here, I kept swinging between being terrified and excited that I had discovered someone else like me.

The thought had crossed my mind that there had to be others. I couldn’t be the only one, I wasn’t arrogant enough to think that.

I just never thought I would come across them. Especially not a whole group of them.

Being in the system and in and out of foster homes since I was a baby meant that not only did I lack long-term relationships in my life but also the necessary skills to build them.

I was used to people being temporary. Used to people saying nice things they didn’t mean and making promises they didn’t intend to keep.

So at sixteen, when I first changed, no one really noticed a difference in me. No one recognized that I was struggling to make sense of this newfound part of myself.

I saw this as another reason to put distance between myself and others.

Even if I was somewhere long enough to make friends, it never felt real. I had this secret to keep.

Since I never truly opened up to anyone, I didn’t really expect anyone to open up to me. That meant no one would know my secret and I wouldn’t know theirs.

I would run alone for the rest of my life. If I ever did find myself with someone, I had promised myself that I could never tell them.

I didn’t know what they would do or what this secret would mean for my, or anyone else’s, future. For their safety, I would have to stay quiet.

Meeting someone else who could change, who knew that I could as well, was a welcome and unexpected surprise. That meant I could be myself with someone.

Too bad this discovery came at the cost of my safety, my freedom, and my damn clothes! Getting up, I wrapped the blanket around me and started pacing.

I couldn’t stop the shivering that racked my worn form. Moving should help me warm up. I could not remember ever being so cold. I usually stayed pretty warm.

While others were dressing in heavy layers to fight the cold, I would normally need just my coat. Sometimes I added a layer to look normal to the people around me.

Although that was uncomfortable, I gathered I would rather be warm than cold.

The other women at work bundled up, bemoaning the cold in the winter, and then complained about “women’s winter” all through the summer.

At this point I believed that being a human woman meant you were always cold. I had been thankful I didn’t have to experience that.

Until now. I had a feeling that my heightened body heat had something to do with my inner she-wolf. I had been injected with something last night.

Perhaps it was messing with my wolf? Was that why I was so cold? Thinking of my wolf made me think of changing into one.

I would be a lot warmer, and a lot less naked covered in fur.

Stopping my pacing, I seriously contemplated making the shift. Everyone here already knew what I was capable of.

They had seen me change already. The damage had already been done. I didn’t need to freeze while I waited to find out what would become of me.

I probably had a better chance of fighting them off and making it out the next time the door opened if I was in my wolf form.

Would they even open the door if they looked in and saw that I was a wolf, or would they wait for me to shift back?

There was only one way to find out. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I closed my eyes, urging the shift to come. Then I stopped.

Remembering how painful changing back had been scared me. I hadn’t experienced pain like that since the first time I changed back.

Last night’s change had been violent and unpredictable. I hadn’t initiated it, and I couldn’t stop it. I had felt so out of control.

The sound of my spine snapping made me grimace all over again.

Closing my eyes, I calmed my breathing. I was in control now. I chanted that mantra in my head until I believed it.

After I had become relaxed, I could start to connect with the wolf that lay dormant just under my skin.

After a few minutes, I felt... nothing. I shook my head in frustration and tried harder, but still nothing happened.

The most frustrating part was that my wolf was not gone. She was clawing at the surface, begging me to free her, but I couldn’t.

Opening my eyes, I realized I couldn’t change. A new kind of fear washed over me. I was completely helpless.