Finding You

ETHAN

“Abbott, I want to speak to you,” Coach called out as he was ending practice.

When I had hoped he would run us hard earlier, I hadn’t realized what I was hoping for. I was drenched in sweat, my body aching, and still couldn’t get her out of my head.

“Fuck!” I muttered, following over to the bench.

“Good Luck!” Briggs cackled, making his way to the locker rooms. I gave him the finger before sitting down next to the coach.

“What’s up with you? You were off all practice, and then Hunter comes in with a broken nose and says it was because of you?!” He growled.

“Listen, he was messing with this girl. He deserved it.”

He shook his head at me, then ran his hand down over his face, huffing.

“Get your shit together and get back out here for tomorrow’s practice back on track. I’m not talking to you about this shit again, got it?”

I nodded, jumping up, ready to be done with this day. I got back to the locker room as the others were heading out. I hit the shower quickly and got dressed. I was gathering my stuff and noticed Briggs and Pug waiting for me.

“What do you fucks want?”

“Well, someone is crabby,” Pug laughed, smacking my back as we made our way to the parking lot. “Daddy put you in a time out?” he teased.

“Suck it, man.” I threw my bag into the jeep and turned back toward my asshole friends. “He was just mad about Hunter’s precious nose. All is well,” I shrugged.

“Nah, all is not well. You’re acting weird,” Briggs noted.

“Weird how?”

“You’re on edge or something. All practice, you were going balls to the wall. So, spill it. What’s going on?”

“I’m just worn out. I’m getting too old for drunken strip club nights.”

“Fuck. You’re such a bad liar. Is it your dad, man? Is he okay?” Briggs asked quietly, knowing the subject was touchy. I shook my head. I didn’t even want to speak of it.

“Listen, I’m fine. I’m heading home to sleep a good fifteen hours or more.” I jumped in the jeep and took off. After I got a few minutes down the road, I hit the call on my phone to call my mother.

“Ethan! How are you?” she answered in her sweet voice.

“I’m good, Ma. How are you? How’s Dad?” I asked, turning toward my townhouse.

“Oh, I’m fine, honey. Dad is well. He’s hanging in. Are you going to come see him soon? You know he’s decided.”

“I’ll be up before Briggs’s wedding this weekend. I’ll talk to him then. He can’t make any choices just yet,” I snapped at her.

“Ethan,” Mom said softly.

“Mom.”

“Ethan, just be safe and we’ll discuss it when you’re here.”

I hung up with my mom as I sat in the driveway. My chin quivered as I fought back tears. My dad, my strong, amazing dad, was dying. I knew it. Deep down, I knew it.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer last week. The doctors give little hope and little time. He initially said he wouldn’t even attempt any treatment, but I had convinced him at the time to at least consider it.

Now, it sounded like he was changing his mind again. My dad was my hero. He worked as a police officer for many years, coaching me in various sports as a kid and encouraging my love of basketball as I got older.

He was my best friend. On top of that, I couldn’t imagine what my mom would do without him. We were all she had.

I pulled myself together and headed inside, hoping to sleep. The faster this week went by, the faster I could get the wedding over with and spend some time with Dad and Mom.

I was finally falling asleep when my phone rang. I almost ignored it, but I had a gut feeling I needed to check, and sure enough, it was Mom. I grabbed it, sitting up in bed.

“Yeah?” I grumbled.

“Ethan, meet us at the LHC Hospital Emergency department. Your dad, I think he had a seizure.”

As soon as those words came out of her mouth, I was up, throwing on sweats and a T-shirt, grabbing my keys.

I didn’t even reply to her, just ended the call and got in the jeep. I got to the hospital in record time and met my mom in the emergency department waiting area.

“What happened?” I adjusted the ball cap I had thrown on.

“He was sleeping, and then all of a sudden, his body was just seizing and wouldn’t stop. I had to call an ambulance,” she explained softly.

Her dark hair pulled back into a bun, glasses on her face, she looked exhausted. I felt awful for her. My mom was our rock. Whatever my dad and I needed, she took care of it. I hated this for her. I hated this for myself.

I pulled her into my arms and cried for both of us. I knew she wouldn’t. She would keep up that strong front and be the rock we always knew.

So, I cried like a bitch in the middle of the emergency department waiting room in front of everyone, not giving a fuck.

The doctor came out to speak to us. Apparently, Dad had suffered a seizure, which wasn’t uncommon for someone in the late stages of cancer like him.

He was stabilized now and they wanted to keep him a day to monitor him, for whatever good that would do, since my dad was refusing any type of treatment.

I clenched my jaw when the doctor reiterated there was really nothing more they could do and to expect these types of things, as it would only get worse until the end.

What the fuck did he know! My dad was a fighter! Fuck him, fuck cancer! Mom kept squeezing my hand, she could sense how angry and upset I was getting.

So, I did my best to calm down for her and followed her as the nurses led us to Dad’s room.

I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to see her standing in the hallway, looking as stressed and scared as I felt. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, seeing her standing there.

My heart was hurting and at the same time leaping at the sight of her. She looked at me, just as confused, and I wasn’t sure what to do.

This was not the fucking time. I could only nod at her as I wanted to get into the room with my dad, but I hoped she’d be there when I came back out.

“I’m sorry I scared you, honey,” Dad croaked out to Mom as I sat with my arms on my knees, head in my hands. “Ethan, you okay over there?” he asked.

I leaned back and just shook my head. “I’m not the one in a hospital bed. Of course, I’m okay,” Mom patted my leg.

“Susan, will you let me talk with Ethan alone for a minute? A good old father and son talk?” He smiled up at her.

Fucking five in the morning, and he wants to have a father and son chat. Of course, she agreed, and scooted out to get a coffee. I stood, kissing her cheek, then taking the seat next to Dad.

“Ethan, I know you’re scared. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared too.”

“Dad…,” I tried to interject.

“No, let me talk, son. I’ve lived my life. I’ve done the things I’ve wanted to do. I wish I could be here to do more, but it is what it is. I want you to know how much I love you.

“You know, seeing you get drafted and make all of your dreams come true, there’s not much more I could ask for. But on top of that, I happen to think you’re a fine young man.”

He paused, readjusting himself in the bed. I had my elbows on my knees, hands on my chin, staring at this man.

“We’re going to get through this, okay? If I’ve done my job right, you’ll be the man I know you can be and you’ll take care of your mother, and you’ll be fine.”

“So, you’re giving up? Basically, what you’ve always taught me not to do, and you’re doing it,” I growled, rubbing my hand over my chin where stubble was forming.

“Ethan. I’m not giving up. I’m playing the play that’s been given to me. I’m seeing it through without torturing myself.” He was unsteady as he spoke. I could tell he was getting tired.

“Dad, just rest for now, okay?” I reached out, holding his hand for a minute as Mom stepped back into the room.

“Everything okay, boys?” She smiled, handing me a coffee cup.

I nodded, giving Dad’s hand a squeeze before I stood. I gave Mom a quick peck on the cheek and stepped out of the room.

I had texted Briggs and Pug to meet me here. They were close with my dad, as well, and I knew I’d need the comfort. I shot a quick text to see where they were and set out to find them.