Big & Beautiful 1: Chubby & Charming

All weekend I was paranoid. What if he didn’t like me? What if he walked out when he saw me? What if Melody was right? By Tuesday I’d gotten myself so psyched out about our date that nothing could put me in a good mood.

I’d secretly hoped Xander would call Monday or Tuesday to tell me he had to cancel our date, but he never did. As Tuesday afternoon approached, I started freaking out. Seriously. I was losing it.

As soon as five o’clock hit, I was out the door. Usually I’d make sure things were in order for the next day, but I wasn’t going to take the time. I had to get to Cooler Coffee early to talk to my girls. I knew I wouldn’t get through my date if I didn’t have their support.

I burst through the door a few minutes later. Addi was already seated at a table alone, looking at her smartphone. I ordered my hot chocolate and cupcakes then joined her.

“You’re here early,” Addi said with a smile. “Usually I’m by myself for a few minutes. You look really nice today.”

The massiveness of my date washed over me and I almost started crying. I still couldn’t believe I was going to go out with him. Or meet him. It all seemed like a dream, a bad one I was sure. Even my clothes indicated something was going on.

I hadn’t talked to anyone all weekend. Addi coached tennis and lacrosse for the school and was an instructor on the side. One of the clubs she taught at opened over the weekend and she was working from sun up to sun down to get new students signed up.

Sam and Claire also worked all weekend. It felt strange to have such a huge event, for me at least, and none of my friends had a clue.

“I’m meeting Xander. He called me on Friday and asked me out. We’re meeting here tonight.”

Shock didn’t begin to describe the look on Addi’s face. She was completely blown away, as though the idea of me going out with a hot guy was not only unbelievable, but also a huge mistake.

Her face was the picture of my insides over the last four days. It was so bad I’d lost three pounds because I was so anxious about the whole thing.

I waved my hand in front of Addi’s face, trying to get her attention again. She blinked rapidly then focused on me. “Wow. Sorry, I just imagined what it would be like to have a date with someone that looked like him. Are you nervous? I’d be a wreck.”

I nodded. Nervous, terrified, about to throw up. They all applied.

“Nervous about what?” Sam asked as she sat down next to Addi. I hadn’t noticed her walk in. Sam’s rich brown hair bounced as she dropped into her seat. I watched, mesmerized, as her hair settled into place.

“Mandy’s meeting Xander here. Tonight,” Addi declared, emphasizing ‘tonight.’

Sam turned on me, a smile playing at her lips and her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Really?” she dragged out. “Isn’t that interesting. Why is he meeting you here?”

I huffed out my frustration. “You know why, Sam. He wanted to go out over the weekend but I couldn’t do it knowing I didn’t have any of you to call when things went south. I asked to meet here so I could bash him for being a shallow asshole when he decides I’m too fat to be with someone as hot as he is.”

“I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit, Mandy,” Sam retorted. “Did he ever ask you what you look like? Did he give you any indication that he wouldn’t go out with you if you weren’t thin and hot? If he did you certainly didn’t tell us.”

I shook my head and started to argue, “He kept telling me how beautiful my voice was and how he couldn’t wait to see me in person to match my face to my voice.”

“Who’s matching your face to your voice?” Claire asked as she took the seat next to me. “And why are you here before me?” she teased.

“Mandy’s got a date with the hottie she told us about last week, but she thinks he’s going to be an asshole so she is meeting him here tonight so she’s not alone when he tells her she’s too fat for him. Is that about right?” Addi told Claire.

I stuck my tongue out at her. She’d perfectly articulated my feelings, but she didn’t have to be so negative about it. “Addi, you’re the one who made it seem like he was way out of my league. I agree with you. He is out of my league. I was stunned when he called Friday. He started telling me all this stuff about himself, like his past and his dreams for the future. He has a sister and said he’d be pissed if she agreed to date someone who’d asked her out the way he asked me. He started telling me all this stuff so I wouldn’t be afraid to meet him.”

My friends exchanged worried glances. “You like him, don’t you?” Sam asked.

I looked down at my hands and picked at the pink nail polish I’d carefully applied over the weekend, and then destroyed with my nerves. “He seems like a nice guy,” I told them noncommittally.

They watched me, like they were waiting for something. They could tell I was lying my ass off and were waiting for me to sink myself, but I wasn’t taking the bait. I was going to let them sit there.

And just in case, I stuffed a huge bite of my cupcake in my mouth.

“You look nice,” Claire said. “I’ve always loved you in that dress.”

I smiled. She was baiting me, but it was working. Claire knew I was wearing my favorite dress. The soft red color matched the darker shades of my hair and highlighted my light skin. It had a cinched neckline that scooped low enough to be sexy but not so low it was slutty. The capped sleeves allowed me to wear a bra, something very important to the well-endowed. I’d paired it with black knee-high boots that just barely kissed the hem of the dress.

I looked hot.

Well, as hot as I could look.

My hair was cooperating too, my soft curls bouncing just right around my shoulders. I had simple jewelry on and light makeup, but it was all different. It wasn’t how I usually dressed. And they knew it.

I looked like I was trying too hard.

“He’s a fool if he doesn’t like you,” Addi said suddenly. “You’re gorgeous and you’re a great person. He already likes your personality, or what he knows of you. If he blows you off we’ll all go on his Facebook page and tell everyone what a jerk he is.”

Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of my friends putting themselves out there for me. It seemed so small, but it was huge to me. To know they believed in me enough and thought I deserved someone like him.

I wanted to believe it, too.

“Let’s talk about something else,” I suggested, hoping they would all get the hint that I didn’t want to think about Xander for a little while. I glanced at my phone and saw he would be there in only twenty minutes. I needed to relax before he showed up, otherwise I just might sweat through my dress.

Thankfully they picked up on my mood and started talking about the nicer weather. “Addi, are you going to have class outside this week? It’s supposed to be beautiful. I always loved it when my teachers let us go outside for class.”

Addi laughed softly at Sam’s idea. “I love it too, but it’s hard for my class. If I taught English or even history it would work because you could go out for class and read or listen to a story or even lecture. I use the board so much, not to mention the experiments, that I don’t know how I could teach outside. I need to be able to show my students what I’m working on. If they can’t see it they’ll never get it.”

“Is it strange teaching without books?”

Addi had commented at the beginning of the year that her school had gone electronic and were no longer issuing books to students. It saved some taxpayer money because they weren’t buying books, but Addi worried it would be harder on the students.

She shrugged. “I thought it would be really weird but I guess I’ve gotten used to it. The parents hate it though because they have to look everything up online to figure out how to help the kids. A few of my kids never have their homework done because they don’t have internet at home and can’t look things up online.”

“Seriously?” asked Sam. “I can’t imagine not having internet all the time. Hell, we have internet in our hands and these kids don’t have it at home. Are their parents against it or they can’t afford it?”

“Can’t afford it. Some states offer cheap or free internet for students that get reduced price lunch. I think New York is considering it. They need to if we’re not going to issue books. I think it’s great for the kids, but the school should have had some sort of online resource in place if they were going to take the books away. I end up piecing together lectures from a variety of sites and try to send home the web addresses every day, but it gets tiring.”

I listened to them talk about schools and then Sam filled us in on her meeting with her bride from hell. Claire had a few new stories to share about the crazy things people try to carry onboard an airplane. The whole time they talked, I watched the door. I knew I would recognize Xander when he walked in. I’d certainly stared at his Facebook pictures enough.

I was listening to one of Claire’s stories when he arrived. At first I didn’t glance at him because the man walking in was so gorgeous it almost hurt to look at him. Then I realized it was Xander.

He quickly scanned the place, his eyes bouncing right past our table. My heart sunk as I realized he never gave me a look. He saw a bunch of fat girls and looked over us to find someone better.

I watched as he walked up to the counter. He leaned against it, his jeans threatening to drift from his narrow hips. His face lit into an immediate smile when the barista addressed him.

He was a flirt.

Great.

His dark hair was cut short, shorter than in his pictures, but it suited him. His angled jaw was lined with a faint beard, like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to grow it or not. He wore a long-sleeved t-shirt with his jeans, a faded green color that made his hazel eyes look green. I stuffed the rest of my second cupcake in my mouth to stop me from drooling. He was turned from me so I saw his profile, the dimple in his left cheek, the bump of his chest muscles straining against his shirt, the soft ridges of his stomach, and the bulk of his arms.

Fuck, he could make a girl cum just standing there.

I didn’t want to think he was hot. Certainly not that hot. I hoped the pictures were old and he had softened a little, maybe gotten slightly less gorgeous. Not even close.

He asked the barista if anyone had come in looking for him. She shook her head sadly, as if she had her sights set on him. How could she not? He thanked her for his coffee and walked to the table in the front corner, right next to the door. His jeans stretched over his perfect ass as he walked and my fingers twitched, wanting to feel those muscles in my hands.

When he sat, he glanced around again, then pulled out his phone, probably texting his friend Drew.

Crap, I hated that I knew what a perfect guy he was.

With Xander seated at his table, I finally realized my table was silent. My friends had stopped talking and were staring at me instead. “What?” I snapped.

“Are you going to go talk to him?” Addi asked with a smirk.

“You go talk to him,” I snapped again. “You’re the skinny one.”

She snorted a laugh and quirked an eyebrow at me. “Skinny is a relative term in this circle. Come on, Mandy, you agreed to this date. Go over there and meet the hottie. If he was my date I’d already be in his lap.”

I looked at her like I knew she was full of shit. “He couldn’t hold me.”

“As much as you were staring, I know you saw those muscles. He could probably hold all of us. Lucky for you, I neither share my men nor steal them from my friends. Besides, he’s here to meet you.”

“No, he’s not,” I said with disappointment. “He’s here to meet the hot version of me. The version who’s about half my size.”

“Mandy, he’s here to meet you. Now, go give the hot man a chance to prove he’s not the asshole you think he is,” Sam chastised me.

I huffed out my irritation and stood up, making my way toward him.

Somehow, I knew my life would never be the same again.