Sneeze Fart Shift Book 2
Author
Elizabeth Gordon
Reads
17.9K
Chapters
61
Silverdale feels wrong, and not in any way that can be ignored. Ghosts roam freely, whispers echo through empty spaces, and the ghouls who once kept the spirits in check have vanished. As invisible intruders grow bolder, it falls to Anna to uncover what happened and stop the haunting before the town is overrun. Strange encounters and unseen dangers test her resolve at every turn, forcing her to trust her instincts when logic fails. With Silverdale on the brink of chaos, Anna races against forces she can’t see to protect a town that refuses to stay quiet—or safe.
Chapter 1: The Haunting of Silverdale
BOOK 2: SNEEZE, FART, SHIFT BOOK 2
Edwin lay in wait under the bed of eight-year-old Cassie Roberts, who had lost her grandmother just a few days prior. Cassie’s grandmother had doted on little Cassie and had been reluctant to trust her precious legacy in the hands of, in her own words, her nincompoop son and his incompetent wife.
Cassie’s granny was sly and difficult to wrangle. Often, when the ghouls couldn’t persuade souls to cross over, they were forced to resort to other tactics, such as entrapment.
So, Edwin had resolved to climb under the child’s bed, knowing that no grandparent could resist hovering over their grandchildren while they were subdued, because human children seemed less demonic while they were resting.
Though this was the best way to ensnare ornery grandmothers, it did occasionally have its drawbacks. Children functioned on instinct alone and had not yet been conditioned to believe their fears were silly, so when they sensed a presence under their bed, they were never bashful about calling their parents in to confirm their suspicions.
This often led to Edwin having to do something embarrassing, like climbing into the closet or hiding in the toy box, which often spurred irrational fears in the children who became convinced that a monster lived in their closet and their toys were sentient.
Unfortunately for Edwin, Cassie was an intelligent and inquisitive girl who didn’t bother with silly emotions like fear. Once the house had settled and her parents had turned in for the night, she leaned over the edge of the bed, drew back the overhanging sheets that hid Edwin, and whispered, “Boo.”
Edwin recoiled, startled by the distorted face gazing at him. His first impulse was to flee, but then he gathered himself, realizing that it was the little girl’s face peering upside down at him.
“You should be asleep,” he lectured her. “Your mother will be pretty angry if she discovers that you’re still awake.”
The threat of an angry parent didn’t deter Cassie, who continued to stare at him, which Edwin found unsettling because the child refused to blink. “What are you doing under my bed?” she queried.
Edwin had never been confronted before, and his mind scrambled for an explanation that would satisfy the girl and persuade her to return to her bed. His mind drew a blank.
Edwin assumed he wasn’t dealing with the average eight-year-old. He had heard about her type from other ghouls; she was one of those children who pointed out the plot holes in fairytales and corrected adults.
These children saw right through deception and took it personally when adults attempted to trick them. Edwin decided it might be best if he were simply honest.
“I’m waiting for your grandmother,” he told her.
Cassie’s large brown eyes lit up. “Me too,” she cried. “She checks on me every night, you know.”
“Yes, I’m here to try to correct that,” Edwin explained.
Cassie’s brow creased, and for a moment Edwin thought she was going to shame him for trying to take her grandmother away, but then Cassie surprised him by whispering, “Who else is down there with you?”
Edwin was puzzled by the question, but that was when the dust under the bed stirred, and before Edwin had a chance to react, something snatched his leg and gave it a healthy yank.
Cassie rolled over to the other side of the bed, expecting the ghoul and his friend to appear on the other side, but it seemed as if they had vanished into thin air.
***
Across town, in an area where respectable women did not venture (unless they were fully disguised) and human men only visited under the cloak of night, Edna was piecing together the latest display in her shop, Edna’s Exotic Emporium.
“Please let me out,” a disembodied voice called out. “I promise I’ll be good.”
“Ricky, you paid for four hours, and your time isn’t up yet,” Edna responded.
“Can you at least tighten the vise grips?” Ricky ventured. “I can still move my head slightly.”
Edna inhaled deeply. Ricky was accustomed to being difficult, and she might have banned him from Edna’s altogether if he wasn’t her best customer. “I’ll be there shortly,” she said in a sticky-sweet voice that warned him against testing her.
She stood back and surveyed the store, attempting to decide where she would display her new product, when Ricky cried out again, “Help me,” he pleaded. “Somebody help me!”
Disgruntled, Edna stomped to the back room where she had confined Ricky to a table with the use of vise grips. She had covered his head with a black hood earlier so she wouldn’t have to view the grotesque expressions he made as she bound him.
“Thank you,” he cried out from the mask as she turned the screws into his temples and tweaked the ones around his wrists and ankles for good measure.
“There you go,” Edna said after she had finished her readjustments. “Now leave me in peace so I can finish putting the stock away.”
“I wouldn’t be complaining at all if you had just hung me by my guts as I requested,” Ricky argued.
Edna rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. “I told you before, if you want to be strung up by your guts, you’ll have to do it yourself.”
Ricky was about to respond when the bell that alerted Edna that a customer had entered the store rang out. “I’ll be with you momentarily,” she called out sweetly, turning to Ricky. “That may be one of the husbands from the human sector, so you need to hush.”
“Why don’t they just go to marriage counseling instead?” Ricky inquired.
“I don’t concern myself with such questions,” Edna sniffed. “Besides, if everyone went around solving their marital problems, Edna’s Exotic Emporium wouldn’t have any business.”
“Well, when you put it like that—” Ricky began, but Edna cut him off.
“Just stay quiet and don’t spook the customer,” she warned him as she slipped out the door and closed it behind her.
Edna fluffed her cloud of snow-white hair and readjusted her horn-rimmed glasses as she returned to the show floor. “Welcome to Edna’s Exotic Emporium. We have all the delights to get you through the night,” she rattled off.
She waited. Usually, at this point, a startled customer would drop the product they had been testing, or an embarrassed customer would attempt to slip into the shadows, but she was greeted with stillness.
Edna took a lap around the showroom, certain she would find a hooded figure creeping about, but the store appeared to be empty.
“The darn bell above the door must be broken,” she assumed, walking over to the spiral staircase to the apartment where she resided with her husband, Chad, who was currently cleaning up after a long night of hunting.
“Chad, my love, I think the bell on the door is broken again,” she cried.
Suddenly, she was treated to a sharp thwack on her hind end. She giggled, expecting that her husband had snuck up behind her, but when she turned, there wasn’t a soul in sight.
“Chad?” she called again uncertainly.
“Be down in a minute, my love.” His voice sounded from the floor above her. “I was just giving myself a scrub down.”
Edna rubbed her hind end and did her best to convince herself that the slap on the bottom was just her imagination, but then a whip snapped next to her ear.
She turned to see that the whip was being cracked, though who was controlling it was a mystery since it floated in midair.
Edna opened her mouth to protest, but a ball gag suddenly flew in to silence her. Edna reached behind her, attempting to fend off her attacker before they could fully engage the straps, but there were no hands to grasp.
Without warning, a pair of cuffs clamped around her wrists, trapping her hands behind her head. Before she could break free, she was shoved backward by a powerful force, stopping only when she landed bottom first on a swing designed for sexual proclivities.
Edna broke free of the cuffs that bound her hands, but the swing began to rock viciously. She had to hang on tight or be launched through the storefront’s plate glass window, tinted to prevent unsolicited peeping from outside.
Edna was not the only resident of Silverdale to be inconvenienced that evening. Nearly every street had been affected, and, from a bird’s-eye view, one could see lights flickering and sprinkler systems sporadically switching on, threatening to overwater lawns.
If someone with a bird’s-eye view also had good hearing, they could hear residents’ shrieks as they attempted to save their silverware while dodging cookware flung around their homes.
