Ignite Book 2: Burning Down the City
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A. Duncan
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38
Chapter 1
Book 2: Burning Down the City
LEXI
He hates me.
I knew at some point the choices I made would eventually bite me in the ass. Grief makes you do crazy things. Loss makes you believe thereâs nothing left to live for.
Trying to put the pieces of your life back together is easier said than done when the one person you counted onâthe person you always considered your homeâwas suddenly snatched away in the middle of the night, just like my dreams for our future. Just gone, stolen away to be no more.
I couldnât handle the sudden death of Maxwell, the one who saved me and then just left me all alone.
I made a mistake. I put myself in a situation that never should have happened, but I was hurting.
I wanted to forget. I regret the choices I made that had me walking out on West that night and landing in Lucaâs bed, but I will never regret the decisions Iâve made since then.
West has helped piece me back together. Weâve been married for three years now, and the beautiful little wildfire of a girl proves how well itâs been going.
He didnât want to know. West didnât want to know if she was biologically his, and he never once cared.
Never once had West raised his voice. Never once had he brought up the past, but recently, something has changed. He has changed.
He questions everything, and we argue a lot. I find myself sleeping more with my daughter, Isabella, than with my husband, and it makes my heart hurt.
I crave him, but the last thing I want is to feel the coldness of his beautiful eyes and the heat of his back as he turns away from me.
Iâve gotten better at holding in my emotions again. Old habits die hard, and my tears now only mingle with the water of the showers I take.
âYou didnât come to bed last night,â Westâs voice rings through the kitchen.
I look up at his glacier-blue eyes. âI slept with Bella.â
âWhy? So you wouldnât have to be near me?â
âLetâs not do this right now, West.â
âDo what, Lex? Youâd rather spend time in any other bed than ours. Whatâs the problem?â he accuses.
âYou. Youâre the problem. It isnât just any other bed. Itâs our daughterâs!â I whisper, my voice sharp.
âHer bed, his bed⌠Semantics,â he fires back. He walks off to the bedroom to get dressed, and I hang my head, trying my best to hold everything in.
Getting my things together, I call for Bella. She runs out with her new princess backpack, raring to go.
âReady to go to daycare?â I ask her.
âYeah! We painting today!â
âYou are?â
âYep!â
âAll right, letâs go!â
As weâre about to open the door, West calls out, âYouâre not going to tell Daddy bye?â
She runs and gives him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. âBye, Daddy, love you!â
âI love you too, munchkin.â He looks up at me and stares, saying nothing.
***
I walk into my fatherâs office at Blakney Group and sit down in front of the windows that overlook the city.
Dad moved his company from California to Toronto just to be closer to me. Ever since Mom died, he says itâs his turn to take care of me.
Even though Iâm technically an adult, he spent most of his lifeâand all of mineâwaiting to get to know me while he protected and fought for our country.
Laying my head against the window, I sigh heavily.
âEverything okay, sweetheart? How are things at home?â Dad asks.
âNot good.â
âWhat about my spitfire of a granddaughter?â
I smile. My daughter is what makes my life worth living. âPainting.â
âReally?â
âYeah. I really hate to see what she looks like when I go to pick her up.â
âShe is still coming to Grandpaâs tonight, isnât she?â
âYes. Sheâs not going to let me forget Friday night at Grandpaâs.â
âGood. It will give you and West some time to yourselves, though she will sleep at home,â he nods, but itâs only met with silence. âAlexis?â
âHmm?â
âIs there something you want to talk about or something I need to know?â
I canât look him in the eye and instead stare out the window at the city below as I say, âNo, Dad.â
He sighs. âGive it some time, Alexis. Iâm sure itâs hard for him knowing Lucaâs back in town.â
Silence. What Dad doesnât understand is that I grew up listening to the arguments. I grew up listening to the belittling.
My mom and I did everything we could to survive the verbal and physical abuse of the man I thought was my father my whole life.
I made it out thanks to Max, but my mother⌠Sheâs six feet underground. Killed by the same man who was supposed to love us.
West has never once laid a hand on either me or Isabella, but sometimesâŚthe words that come out of your mouth hurt more than the strikes of a hand. Either way, you canât take them back, and the damage is already done.
Without looking away from the city below, I say, âI wonât live a life like Mom.â
I hear Dad drop his pen on his desk and the squeak of his chair as he turns to face me. âWhat are you saying, Alexis?â he asks.
âMom stayed because she felt like she had to. I absolutely will not subject Bella to anything close to what I grew up with. Sheâs already noticed the strain between West and me. No matter how much I love himâŚIâll leave before it taints her childhood.â
I stand up and kiss my dad on the cheek, then head to the door.
âWhere you headed to, sweetheart?â Dad asks.
âCampus library. Whoever said it was a good idea to go for my masterâs should be shot.â
