Nurse to Forever Mom
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Susan Carlisle
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CHAPTER ONE
“LIZZY, HONEY. STAY STILL.” Dr. Cody Brennan squatted on his heels in the hallway in front of the day-care suite to re-tie his daughter’s hair-bow. He couldn’t keep his frustration out of his voice as he fumbled at forming a loop with the slick ribbon. Suturing he’d learned in medical school, not securing bows.
“Dadd-yyy, it has to be right,” Lizzy’s whine echoed off the hallway built of glass.
“Hey, mind if I give it a try?” a sweet-sounding feminine voice beside him asked.
Cody looked over his shoulder. Two large, sympathetic green eyes with thick dark lashes met his gaze.
“Dadd-yyy,” Lizzy moaned.
Not giving him a choice, the woman moved in close. A hint of peach tickled his nose as she tugged the ribbon from his hand, hers brushing over his. With a quick side step he moved aside, giving her better access to Lizzy’s ponytail.
As if by magic Lizzy went statue still and the woman in a deft twirl of fingers secured the bow.
“There you go,” she announced with such fanfare that she might have been giving Lizzy an award.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
Lizzy pulled on his hand. “Let’s go, Daddy.”
“You need to tell the lady thank you first.” He used his stern father voice.
“Thank you.” Lizzy obeyed with uncharacteristic shyness.
“No problem.” The woman smiled.
The beautiful upturn of her mouth captivated him. Her full lips surrounded white straight teeth, creating a unique sunbeam that pulled him toward her, making him feel good. A sensation he’d not experienced in a long time.
Lizzy tugged on his hand again. Seeing she had regained his attention, she towed him into day care. When he walked out a few minutes later he looked for the woman. There was no one in sight. She’d been wearing a knit top and jeans, so she must be making an early morning patient visit. Why she had grabbed his attention so, he couldn’t fathom.
He’d been off women for what seemed like ages now and that suited him fine. After the years of anguish and constant distress his ex-wife Rachael had put them through, his children and he had finally found contentment. Throughout his life he had admired his parents’ marriage.
He’d always wanted one like theirs but that dream had been destroyed by the reality of a wife struggling with a drug addiction. Supporting her and raising two small children while at the same time completing his medical training had made him want to find a simpler life. Moving to Maple Island had given him that. It had taken years but he now had the peace he’d hoped for and the ability to give his girls the attention and security they deserved. Bringing someone into their world would only disrupt what he had so carefully built.
After a car accident, his ex-wife had become hooked on painkillers. He seen the signs, had done everything he could think of to try to help Rachael. She had gone in and out of rehabilitation but nothing had seemed to work. Life had become a round of clinics, counseling, begging and shouting. After finding one of his prescription pads missing, he’d known the crisis Rachael had created had to end. He’d finally accepted defeat. Their marriage was over. He had the girls to consider. Unable to save Rachael, he had to think of Jean and Lizzy and his own sanity.
He’d filed for divorce and full custody. With years’ worth of documentation against Rachael, her parental rights had been permanently revoked. Being a solitary parent and a surgeon with a demanding job hadn’t been part of his life plan, yet here he was.
Soon after the custody trial he’d met Alex and the answer to his problem had been born. Every day he was grateful for that serendipitous bar conversation he’d had with Dr. Alex Kirkland about the perils and the pitfalls of solo parenting. During their mutual commiseration, the dream of a first-class, cutting-edge clinic with an equally state-of-the-art day care for employees was created. Faster than Cody had imagined, he’d become Alex’s partner and co-founder of the Maple Island Clinic off the coast of Massachusetts.
The day care had been a lifesaver, but Cody’s problem this morning had been that children were supposed to show up already dressed for the day and in his five-year-old daughter’s mind that included a properly tied hair-bow. Lizzy didn’t consider herself dressed without a ribbon in her hair.
Like this morning, Cody sometimes worried he might not be enough for Jean and Lizzy. He often felt they needed that special attention that only a woman could provide. He shoved that thought away, his teeth clenching from the force of his resolve. He couldn’t risk a repeat of the hell Rachael had put them through. What if he chose wrong again?
Enough of those thoughts. He didn’t have time to review ugly memories. Besides being a single parent, as an orthopedic surgeon specializing in knees and legs, he had a busy clinic and a full surgery schedule this Monday morning to occupy his mind. Some attractive woman visiting a patient shouldn’t even be a concern.
Heading down the hall, he soon entered his office and habitually checked the time. He could complete some paperwork and make a couple of phone calls before he was needed in the OR.
An hour later, dressed in green scrubs and matching surgical gown with mask in place, he pushed through the OR doors. He had a meniscus repair to perform. It always troubled him that he was intelligent enough to do such delicate surgery but he still hadn’t been able to save Rachael.
His team was waiting for him. The patient was on the table with his left knee surrounded by blue sterile drapes.
Cody looked at Mark, the anesthesiologist.
“All set,” Mark confirmed, without being asked.
“Everyone ready?” Cody glanced around the table.
All eyes focused on him then a feminine voice from across the patient said, “Yes.”
His scrutiny fell on her. Dressed in the same surgical garb as he, all he could see of her was her enthralling green eyes. They were familiar but he didn’t know why. “And you are?”
“Stacey Ryder, your new clinical nurse specialist. I thought I’d stand in today and see your technique. It makes it easier to sound confident in front of the family when I’ve seen the doctor in action.”
Normally Cody would have met his replacement nurse before she started. Instead he had trusted the personnel department to handle it. His regular nurse would be out for a month, taking care of her aging mother after a surgery. He had just vetted this new one on paper, seeing she came with the highest recommendations. However, her straightforward approach hadn’t been noted.
There were suppressed murmurs behind the masks of his team members. Were they as shocked by her boldness as he? As a rule, the people he worked with didn’t use such an imperious tone with him.
Cody caught and held her attention. “You’re welcome to stay but don’t get in the way.”
“Understood, Doctor.”
Giving her a curt nod, he crisply announced, “Let’s get this tennis player back on the court.”
“Yes, sir,” Stacey Ryder quipped with a note of humor in her voice as if she had given him a mental salute. He narrowed his eyes. She didn’t blink.
Dismissing her, Cody looked at the knee, making sure it was the one he’d written his initials on. The patient’s leg already had a tourniquet in place and was secured to the table in a padded leg holder. Cody made a small incision to prepare for the diagnostic camera that would give him a view of the joint. He located the damaged meniscus and probed it with a tiny metal hook.
“This is going to be a pretty extensive repair. I hope no one has early lunch plans. Shaver.”
The surgical nurse handed the instrument to him. He trimmed the edges of the tear. “This isn’t going to be enough.”
“Why not?” his new clinical nurse asked.
“Because I’m not pleased with the blood flow.”
She looked at him. “So, what’re you going to do?”
He glared back at her. “Ms. Ryder, I don’t usually teach procedure during my operations.”
“I’m sure you don’t but I’d like to know enough to help the families understand and also save you time when you talk to them.”
Cody couldn’t fault her logic. “I’m going to make the lining bleed and then suture it together. First I need to make another incision to work through to do that.” As he did so, blood oozed into the field, making his visibility poor. Without him having to ask, Stacey used already prepared gauzes on forceps to wipe it away.
“We need to get that under control before I continue,” he stated. “I’m ready to suture.”
His surgical nurse handed him the equipment required.
“Nurse Ryder, I need you to keep the area clear while I work.”
“Yes, sir.” She replaced the gauze and dabbed the area.
Cody watched. “Good.” He worked the thread into a neat stitch.
“Doctor, since you seem to have improved your tying skills since this morning, I’m going to speak to the family now. They must be anxious.”
Cody frowned at her. Her eyes snapped with humor. That second he realized why he recognized those eyes. She was referring to his inability to tie Lizzy’s bow. They would have a talk about her OR decorum later. His voice tight with disapproval, he said, “Please tell the family I’ll be out to see them in soon.”
“Yes, sir.” She quietly left.
For some reason the room suddenly felt cooler.
Stacey was still sitting with the family when Dr. Brennan strolled into the waiting room with a smile on his face. She had to admit it was a nice one. For a while there, she hadn’t been sure if he knew how to form one. It was so congenial she was sure if he turned it on her, her stomach would flutter. Stacey wrinkled her nose. Why would she think that?
Had she overstepped in the OR when she’d teased him about “tying” his stitches? By the steely look in his eye she might well have. Sometimes her humor was misplaced. She was so used to working in laid-back, often difficult conditions where levity was required. This wasn’t one of those situations. In fact, this was the nicest, most upscale medical facility she’d ever been in.
When the director of the World Travel Nursing Agency had told her about her next assignment, she’d shared with Stacey information about the fabulous care given at the Maple Island Clinic. It turned out it was true, right down to the beautiful island and the top-notch physicians.
Dr. Brennan certainly knew his stuff. She’d seen enough good and bad surgeries on her journeys to recognize a surgeon with exceptional skills. Not just the abilities acquired through training and experience, but that special touch inherent in someone devoted to his patients’ welfare. Did that quality extend to other areas of his life?
He’d been great with his daughter, despite his charming ineptness with her bow. It probably came more from being in a hurry rather than incompetence. Something about Dr. Brennan’s manner made her believe he worked hard at being confident and competent in every aspect of his life. She also had the idea he was driven to keep any weakness or flaws well concealed.
“Here’s Dr. Brennan now,” Stacey said to the middle-aged mother of their patient seated beside her. Releasing her hand, Stacey stood. “I’m sure he can tell you more.”
Dr. Brennan had pulled a long white lab coat over his scrubs. His thick chestnut hair was still mussed from removing his surgical cap. She guessed he’d only run a hand through it because a lock hung over his forehead. The effect gave him a less polished look than he’d had that morning in front of the day care. Deciding she liked this version better, Stacey stepped out of his way.
He sat on the edge of the chair she had vacated and turned to the mother. “Your son’s doing very well and is in Recovery right now. He’ll be in some pain, but I promise we’re handling it. You’ll be able to see him in about an hour.”
“Oh, Dr. Brennan. Thank you for taking care of him. Do you think this’ll get him back on the tennis court?”
He nodded. “I have complete confidence it will. Now, why don’t you go get something to eat and meet him in his room?” He turned to Stacey. “Nurse, would you please direct his family to the room where Mr. Washington will be?”
Stacey wasn’t sure where that would be, but she’d find out somehow. She wasn’t about to make her ignorance of that detail obvious to him so she answered with confidence. “I’ll be glad to.”
His attention returned to Mrs. Washington and he placed a hand on her shoulder. “If you need anything, will you let me or Nurse—”
“Please make it Stacey.” She looked at the woman with warmth before giving Dr. Brennan a pointed stare.
A thin smile curved his lips and he nodded once before leaving the way he’d come.
Stacey settled the Washington family in the patient’s room before returning to the waiting room to speak to the family of Dr. Brennan’s next surgery patient. When she checked in with him during surgery he gave her a brief, concise pronouncement that the patient was doing as expected. She left with a “Thank you, Doctor.” Again, she was with the family when he came in to speak to them.
Finished he stood, stepped away from the group and said, “Stacey, may I speak to you a moment?”
A shiver of uncertainty went through her. Yep, she’d overstepped. “Yes, sir.”
In the hall, he slowed long enough to say, “I’ll be doing rounds in thirty minutes. Meet me at my office in ten. Do you know where that is?”
“I’ll find it.”
He nodded. She was quickly learning it was his signature acknowledgment.
Stacey made sure she was a minute early when she knocked on his door.
“Come in.”
His accent wasn’t the typical clipped, sharp, New Englander one. What was his story? It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t be around long enough to really get to know him, or anyone else well. Four short weeks didn’t leave much time to create friendships. That’s how she’d spent most of her life. She never stayed in one place long enough to get close to people and start caring about them on a personal level, on purpose. She made sure to leave before she could be left. If you cared you got hurt. She’d had enough of that in her life.
Early in life after her father had left and then again when her mother had divorced her second husband, she’d learned not caring meant that you didn’t feel pain. The ache had been so great when she’d been a child she never wanted it to happen again. She’d do anything to make that not occur, to the point of remaining distant. People disappointed her if she let them close enough. When her mother had brought home her third husband, Stacey hadn’t even bothered to call him by his real name. Instead she made up a name for him, one she could easily forget. She’d spent most of her time in her room.
The only permanent person in her life was her mother and Stacey hadn’t seen her in over a year. In fact, she was due for a visit that Stacey planned to make before she left for her next assignment in Ethiopia. As soon as this placement was done she would spend a couple of days with her mother then not bother again for another year. She couldn’t rely on her mother, who had always had her own screwed-up life to worry about. The one time Stacey had let her guard down and let someone get too close romantically, he had disappointed her as well. Once again her heart had been crushed.
She’d been engaged. Had believed she had found the guy who would treat her as if she were special, one who would always be there for her, share the family with her that she’d never had. Instead she’d found out he’d been cheating on her. Their life together had been over before it had even properly started. Once again she was of no value to anyone. She’d ended their relationship with one of the same ugly scenes she’d witnessed her mother having when one of her relationships had ended.
That’s when Stacey had decided seeing the world and devoting herself to professionally caring for people was safer than nurturing the terminally ill hope that someone would someday actually want her, see her as essential to their life. Now she didn’t stay in one place long enough to allow a bond to form beyond what was necessary. It was better, simpler, and easier on her heart that way.
Dr. Brennan, sitting behind his desk, raised his dark head, his eyes studying her. She was sure his intent scrutiny wasn’t missing a thing. That shrewdness must be part of the reason he was such a well-respected physician in his field. She had researched him on the internet before agreeing to the job.
“I want to apologize for my comment in the OR. That wasn’t the place to tease you.” She walked further into the room.
One of his brows rose slightly. “I’m not used to being teased, in or out of the OR.”
Oops. She had no doubt that was true.
“We need to get to rounds. The girls have dance practice this evening.”
Thankfully he’d changed the subject. “Girls? As in plural?”
Standing, he moved around the desk. “My daughters.”
He was tall, her head only reached to his shoulder. His large open office seemed small with him in it. She’d only seen one child that morning. But he had another.
“Lizzy has an older sister, Jean. She’s isn’t quite so demanding and is far more independent. She’d already gone into day care when you came along.” He twisted his lips. “And didn’t require a bow.”
Stacey grinned. There was affection in his voice when he spoke of his children. That alone made her admire him. She’d never heard that from a man while growing up. Mostly she’d just been in the way.
He led the way out the door.
Prone to chattering when she was nervous, Stacey said, “This is an amazing clinic. Nothing like what I’ve been working in while I was in South America.”
“Thanks. It was a real answer to our prayers. Alex and I created a great place to work while still giving our children and the staff a quality place to stay while we do that.” He stopped at a patient’s door. “This is Mrs. Fitzpatrick. She had her surgery a week ago.” Dr. Brennan was back in doctor mode as he knocked on the door.
At the sound of “Come in” they did, him leading the way.
A woman in her mid-sixties with vivid white hair cut in a fashionable style sat regally in a chair next to the windows. Across from her in a matching wingback was an older man, who complemented her appearance. They had the aura of wealth.
Stacey took a quick glance around the room. The bed alone said that the Maple Island Clinic was a cut above other medical facilities. It looked like a typical one that might be found in anybody’s bedroom, but she was pretty sure that beneath the floral spread it functioned like a hospital bed. The view beyond the windows was of a spring-green grassy area leading to ocean waves. Stacey could well understand why people would want to come here to recuperate.
“Hello, Dr. Brennan,” the woman said proudly. “I’ve been up and moving around today.”
“That’s good to hear.” He stepped closer.
The older man stood and the two men shook hands.
Dr. Brennan turned toward her. “Mr. and Mrs. Fitzpatrick, this is my new nurse, Stacey Ryder.”
Smiling at them, she said, “Please call me Stacey.” Then she addressed the woman. “I understand you had a knee replacement.”
“I did. Thanks to Dr. Brennan I’ll finally be able to get on the floor with my grandkids.”
Stacey’s smile widened. Mrs. Fitzpatrick didn’t seem the type to want to do that, but now she could. “That’s great to hear.”
“I’d like to check your incision, if I may?” Dr. Brennan asked.
Mrs. Fitzpatrick pulled her right pants leg up over her knee. Dr. Brennan went down on his heels to examine it closely. “It looks good. Now let me see you bend it.”
The woman lifted it up and down. Stacey didn’t miss how her lips tightened, but she didn’t make a sound.
Dr. Brennan stood and put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m impressed. I can tell you’ve been working hard in physical therapy. I think you’re about ready to go home.”
Mrs. Fitzpatrick’s smile was a bright one. “That’s sooner than you had said.”
“It pays to be a good patient,” he responded, grinning.
Stacey enjoyed the moment. Dr. Brennan had a nice rapport with his patient. She hadn’t seen much of that in her work in medical facilities in developing countries. There the patients came and left the same day. None of the doctors, and certainly none of the temporary nurses, had an opportunity to really get to know the patients. It was lovely to see that personal interaction in this clinic but at the same time it made her uncomfortable. She wasn’t looking to become involved with anyone on any level.
Over the next few hours Stacey found out that Dr. Brennan’s bedside manner didn’t just extend to the Fitzpatricks. He treated all his patients with the same respect and concern. Each time they saw someone new he took the time to introduce Stacey, making her feel she was part of his team, significant. That was an odd thought.
They were passing through the activity room where the afternoon sun beamed in through the windows when a weathered man sitting at a table lifted a hand in acknowledgment.
“Hey, Salty. Good to see you,” Dr. Brennan greeted him.
“Who’s that with you?” Salty wanted to know.
“This is my new nurse. Stacey Ryder. Stacey, this is Salty, our local hero.”
Stacey couldn’t miss the pink spreading across the older man’s cheeks, the wrinkles that gathered beside his eyes and the straightening of his shoulders. “Aw, ’twas nothing. Anyone would have done it.” His gruff voice was filled with pride.
“Done what?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“We had a ferry accident a few months back. Salty went out in his boat and helped save people.”
“That sounds impressive.” And she was impressed.
Salty shrugged his shoulders. “Glad I could help.”
“We’ve got to be going. See you around.” Dr. Brennan strolled on through the area.
“Nice to meet you.” Stacey hurried to catch up with the long-legged doctor.
They hadn’t made it into the hall when Salty called, “Hey, Doc, find a good woman and you’ve found a jewel.”
Dr. Brennan raised a hand and kept walking. “Thanks. I’ll remember that.”
Stacey had seen the slight flinch of his shoulders before he’d waved off Salty’s unsolicited advice. “What was that about?”
“Nothing. Salty is always dishing out his idea of wisdom.”
Dr. Brennan didn’t appear to think that particular piece of advice was very impressive. Were he and his wife having trouble? Whatever it was, it had nothing to do with her and so was none of her concern.
A few minutes later as they walked out of a patient’s room a tall, sandy-blond man wearing a lab coat came toward them. “Hey, Cody. How’s it going?”
“Well. Your staff has done wonders with Mrs. Fitzpatrick.” Dr. Brennan passed her his hand computer on which he was making notes. “As uncooperative as she was before surgery, I’m impressed by how far she’s come in such a short time.”
“What can I say? We’re good!” The man chuckled, then gave her a questioning look. “Hi, I’m Alex Kirkland, your medical director.”
“I’m Stacey Ryder, Dr. Brennan’s temporary nurse.”
“That’s right, Marsha’s out taking care of her mother. Welcome. We’re glad to have you,” Dr. Kirkland said. “Feel free to call me Alex.”
She liked him. He wasn’t quite as stuffy as Dr. Brennan. “Alex. I’m glad to be here. Didn’t I read somewhere that it was you and Dr. Brennan who started this clinic?”
“Yeah, that was us.” Pride filled his voice.
An attractive woman with a riot of red hair headed their way with a bounce in her step. She called, “Hey, Alex, you have a minute?”
Alex’s eyes lit up before he turned. “I always do for you.”
“Aw, you do care.” She joined them.
Stacey suspected there was a deeper meaning to their greeting by the way Alex lightly touched her elbow to direct her attention to Stacey.
“Maggie, this is Stacey Ryder, Cody’s clinical nurse for the next few weeks.”
Maggie extended her hand. “Maggie Green, one of the physiotherapists around here. I specialize in hydro and equine therapy. Glad to have you. I hope you enjoy your stay.” She turned to Alex. “I hate to drag you away but I need to talk to you about one of the twins for a sec.”
Alex shrugged. “Duty calls. Good to have you, Stacey. Don’t let Cody overwork you while you’re here.” He followed Maggie down the hall toward the hydro area.
Stacey looked at Cody “She seems like fun.”
“That’s not what Alex thought for a while. Now he’d agree with you.”
They continued down the hall.
Uncharacteristic curiosity had gotten the better of her and Stacey had researched the founding of the clinic. After meeting a few people, she’d already figured out the internet didn’t tell the entire story of Maple Island Clinic. Doing the research in person with one of the founders, especially a particularly handsome one, was an invitation to get personal. Taking a breath for courage, Stacey asked, “So how did you and Alex decide you wanted to start this facility? By your accents you don’t come from the same part of the country.”
He looked at her for a moment as if he was deciding whether or not to answer. “We don’t. We met at a conference. Single guys with childcare issues in common. Next thing I knew we were coming up with this clinic idea.” He turned the corner and started down another hall. “I’m originally from California.”
“That makes sense. One coast for another.” That seemed a pretty dramatic move for a specialty surgeon of Brennan’s caliber. Was there more to it than a chance meeting at a conference? Had something else pushed him into the move? She shouldn’t pry further yet she couldn’t stop herself. “Was that a hard sell to your family?”
“No. The girls were so small they were good with it.”
“Your wife?” Stacey winced silently. She had already asked too many questions.
“She was already out of the picture.” His words were flat and final.
Stacey let go a private sigh of relief. He’d closed the door on that subject, slammed it shut.
They walked back to his office in silence. There he said, “I’ll see you in surgery at six in the morning.” Then he literally closed the door in her face.
So much for Mr. Charming.
