Unclassic Hero Book 2
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Jessie F Royle
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31
Prologue
CONRAD
My heart shatters into countless fragments as I cradle a weeping Sydney in my arms, swaying us gently on the floor of her dorm room.
Iāve just done the unthinkable, the one thing I swore Iād never doāIāve broken her heart. Itās the last thing I want, and I can only hope sheāll forgive me someday.
Her whispers of āNo,ā and āWhy?ā fill the room. All I can think is, sheāll understand why this is for the best, eventually.
I want to be with her forever, like I said, but sheās just starting her life. Thereās so much she hasnāt seen or done that I already have.
I owe it to her to let her find herself without me. If or when she does, I hope we'll find each other again.
Iām taking a massive risk. I could be saying goodbye to her forever right now, but something inside me insists thatās not the case. We will find each other again, and then our forever can begin.
When her crying finally subsides, I realize sheās fallen asleep, her small hands still gripping my tear-soaked shirt.
Gently, I lift her up and lay her on her bed, pulling a blanket over her.
It takes every bit of strength I have not to wake her and tell her it was all a terrible dream, that I didnāt do what I did. She curls up into a tiny ball but doesnāt stir.
I move to her desk and sit, watching her sleep for a few minutes. Sheās so sweet, so beautiful, and I love her more than anything in this world. What the hell am I doing?
I grab a notepad and pen from her desk and write my final goodbye. My hand moves across the paper, forcing the words out, and I feel like the worst kind of person.
Am I a complete coward, or am I doing her a favor? Only time will tell. As the clichĆ© goes, if you love something, set it free, and if it comes back, itās meant to be.
I couldnāt wish for anything more than for that to be true right now. I leave my pathetic note by her bed and walk toward the door, pausing to look at her one last time.
āIām so sorry,ā I whisper to her before I open the door and walk out of her life.
After a miserable flight, I arrive back at my hotel in LA and head straight to my room. I decide not to tell the guys that Iām back yet. I had told them what I was doing and got mixed reactions.
Kevin called me a fucking idiot, Jake agreed with Kevin but understood at the same time, and Harrison seemed annoyingly pleased about my decision.
If he thinks Iāve done this because I want to start living the single life, then heās dead wrong.
If things were different, Iād go out and buy a diamond ring right now, quit the band, and fly back to Sydney right now and make her my promise. But I canāt do that, not yet. Sheās too young.
She only thinks sheās ready for forever.
I reach for my journal, something I started writing after my father died, something to help me process everything that happened after his death. I open it and pull out the letter he wrote to me.
My Dearest Son,
I canāt even begin to express how proud I am of the man you have become.
I know our relationship has been far from close until recently, and I thank God every day for this second chance with you.
I want you to know that I have always been proud of you, and Iāve always known how profoundly smart and talented you are, even if I didnāt show it due to my ignorance and egotistical pride.
All of those years I could have had with you, watching you grow into the man you are today, I only wish that I could say that I had something to do with that, but I know this isnāt the case.
Youāve become who you are despite my absence from your life, and Iāll always wonder if that was the right decision. Iāll wonder how you would have turned out if I were the person you looked to for guidance every day.
I donāt think I would have made a very good role model. All I can do now is look after your future since I can no longer be in your life.
I know that wealth isnāt something you ever strived for; I know it wasnāt your goal in life, but itās all I have to pass on to you now, so here it is.
I know that I am doing the right thing in passing everything to you. I know it will be used for good.
I know it will be used to nurture your future life so that you never have to struggle again.
It will be used for a life that I wish I had with you, that I wish I could see play out. My dream for you is this: You have a career you love but doesnāt take you from those who love you.
A wife who loves you for you, not for what you can give her, and children who look up to you for guidance and unconditional love, for everything that I didnāt give to you.
After meeting your girlfriend, Sydney, I think that you may have found your future bride. I could feel the love she had for you and you for her.
Iāve enjoyed talking with Sydney for many hours about her life and everything she wants out of it.
I know she wants a career, a family, and great happiness, which I think you can give to her, as does she.
My only fear is that she is but a child still. She hasnāt done enough in life to know what she truly wants out of it. However, I could be completely wrong.
What do I know, right? I met your mother in college and married her as soon as we graduated. She never regretted her decision to marry young, as far as I know.
Anyway, Iām rambling on about things that donāt concern me. I suppose I donāt want you two to fail. Iām rooting for you.
I hope what they say is true, and that Iāll now be able to watch over you from above, hopefully not from below. I know, terrible joke.
I love you, son. You are my greatest achievement and my most cherished treasure, and you always have been.
Thereās so much more I could say, but Iāll stop here.
Love deeply, live fully.
Forever yours, Dad
I fold the letter, tucking it back into my journal. Iāve read his words so many times, theyāre etched into my memory.
His words are part of why I let her go. Itās a decision Iāve wrestled with for nearly a year. I couldnāt do it before, and Iām not sure I can now.
I want her to understand that sheās everything I want. The image of her face when I ended things is etched into my mind, a nightly ghost.
Itās as if all her doubts about us were confirmed, as if she never truly believed I could want her as much as I do. She couldnāt be more wrong. I wish she had more faith in me.
I suppose I also wished she would fight for us, but she just let me walk away. I fear Iāve made a grave mistake, but I have to let this play out.
