The Lawman's Baby
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Patricia Johns
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18
Chapter One
PAIGE STEDLER WALKED up the front stairs to the Eagle’s Rest Police Department and tugged her coat a little closer. It was a chilly fall morning, and an eddy of wind whipped a pile of leaves against the police station front doors. The police chief had called her in as a special request. Everyone knew that Paige was on stress leave, but this wasn’t exactly related to her job as a Social Services agent. Or so the chief had assured her.
She did feel a lot better than she had three weeks ago when she’d had her fifth panic attack while at work. But Paige wasn’t sure what the chief even wanted from her. Here was hoping it was just a form to sign or something like that. She pulled open the front door and headed into the station’s warmth. The receptionist, Ellen, shot her a smile.
“Paige!” the chief’s voice boomed across the office.
Paige returned Ellen’s smile on her way past and headed toward Chief Simpson’s office in the back. The chief was an older man with a potbelly and a demanding stare that softened when he waved to her. He strode across the bull pen and met her halfway.
“Thanks for coming in, Paige,” he said, lowering his voice.
“No problem.” It was only half a lie. “What can I do for you?”
“We have a situation, and I think you’re the person we need. One of our new officers just became guardian of his sister’s newborn, and he’s overwhelmed, to put it mildly. He needs a hand getting used to child care. For a bit. Just while he sorts things out. And since you were on leave...”
As if stress leave were paid vacation!
“Why do you think I’m the only one who can handle it, Chief?” she asked.
“You’re the best,” the chief replied.
“I’m on stress leave,” she countered.
“You’re still the best.” He met her gaze. “And your brother’s worried.”
Paige’s brother, Nathan, was a cop, too, but he was stationed in a small town a couple of hours away. Serving the public was in the Stedler blood...except Paige didn’t seem to have what it took anymore.
“You could ask pretty much anyone to help out with a baby,” Paige said.
“This particular baby is pretty small, and he was born with cocaine in his system. He doesn’t seem to be going through any withdrawal, miraculously enough, but it’s still a touchy case,” he said. “And no one else is available. I did ask around, for the record. If not you, we’re moving on to some local grandmothers who might lend a hand, and I’d rather recommend someone who’s trained in social services. You have...more of the experience that we need, considering this infant’s shaky start.”
“Oh.” Yes, that did make sense. Still...
“Nathan’s not the only one who’s been worried about you,” the chief added with an apologetic shrug. “I know you pretty well, Paige, and I want to help you get back in the saddle. I’m guessing you want that, too, or you wouldn’t be here.”
“Did you run this past Dana?” Paige asked with a teasing smile. Dana was Chief Simpson’s wife—twenty years his junior, short, slim, and with a mop of curly hair that set off a pair of sparkling eyes. She and Paige had always gotten along.
“No,” he said, but he returned the wry smile. “She would have told me to mind my own business and let you deal with things your own way.”
“So this baby care thing—this is for me,” she said.
“Come see the situation,” Chief Simpson suggested quietly. “Meet the officer, the baby... And if you don’t want to help out, then no hard feelings and I’ll start talking to local grandmothers.”
“And you can tell Nathan that you did your best,” she said.
“Something like that. Unless you want me to tell him I tried but you’re not interested. I’m not going to push you into something you’re not ready for.”
From across the bull pen, the soft cry of a baby filtered toward them, and Paige’s heart softened. A new dad and a new baby...complications aside, she was curious.
“Let’s go,” she said, and the chief shot her a grin.
“Thanks for this, Paige.”
Paige followed the chief through the bull pen. A couple of officers who stood by the coffeemaker nodded at her. Three others were working at their desks. She knew most of these cops from various cases she’d been called in to. The chief led her to his office, and gestured her in first, then followed, shutting the door behind him.
A large, muscular man sat inside, a baby car seat cradled in his lap. He looked to be around thirty, with short-cropped brown hair. His attention was fixed on the car seat he was holding in his lap. He was rocking it—the entire car seat—and the baby seemed to be settled again. He looked up, his steely gray gaze drilling into her. Paige glanced between the men.
“Hi,” she said feebly.
“This is Officer Mike McMann,” Chief Simpson said. “He’s just transferred over from Denver.”
“Pleasure.” Mike reached out to shake her hand, and she was struck by the sheer size of him. His arms were thick with muscle, but as his broad palm engulfed hers, that iron gaze of his melted, and she caught a flicker of emotion under his professional reserve. And he looked—scared?
From the car seat, another little mewling cry arose, and she bent down to get a closer look. Inside was a tiny newborn baby who couldn’t have been much over five pounds. He was swimming in a blue newborn sleeper that had been rolled up at the sleeves, but the legs just flopped empty underneath him.
“This is my, uh, nephew,” Mike said hesitantly. “His name is Benjie. Well, Benjamin Alexander McMann. It’s kind of long for a guy this small, though.”
“Benjie...” Paige bent over the car seat, and the baby squirmed again and wrinkled up his tiny face in a cry. “Have you held him yet, Mike?”
“Um. Once. I put him right back, though.”
“Once!”
“I didn’t want to hurt him,” Mike said, eyeing her.
“You won’t. He’s not that fragile. Babies are meant to be held—it’s good for them. They need the contact. Do you mind if I pick him up?”
“No, that’d be fine.”
Paige unbuckled the straps and lifted the tiny infant from the restraints. “You’re supposed to hold him as much as possible,” she said. As she pulled the baby up to her shoulder, Benjie instinctively nuzzled into her neck, tucking up those little legs underneath him. There was just something about that milk-sweet scent and the tiny rump in her palm that slowed her heartbeat down. She leaned her cheek against his downy head.
She needed the contact right now, it seemed, and when she looked down at the baby, he opened his mouth in a tiny yawn. She smoothed a hand over that little back. He was thin—which was natural when a baby was born a few weeks early. He didn’t have any of that healthy newborn chub.
“I kind of knew that, but he’s pretty little, and I’m kind of—” He looked down at his hands. “I’m in over my head.”
“He’s your nephew, you said?”
“Yeah. I only found out about him at one this morning. That’s when the hospital tracked me down. He was born four days ago. It took them that long to find me and to be certain that he wasn’t born addicted. He, um, had cocaine in his system.”
“Yes, the chief filled me about that,” she confirmed quietly.
“My sister left him after he was born,” Mike went on. “I’m her only living relative, so he’s in my hands now. I’m obviously working full-time, and add to that, I have no idea how to take care of babies.”
“So you need to learn how to care for a newborn,” she clarified.
“That among other things, I guess. I just need...” He shrugged weakly. “Help.”
Paige could see that much. Mike looked down at the car seat in his lap, and then placed it on the floor. His movements were carefully controlled—she could see the police training in him as he kept himself contained in the chair that was too small for his muscular frame. He rose to his feet and rolled his shoulders, then let his gray gaze move over Paige, finally settling on the baby in her arms.
“Did Chief Simpson tell you that I’m on stress leave?” she asked.
“He mentioned that you had some time off,” Mike replied, glancing toward the chief. Yeah, she was sure the chief had explained more than that.
“I’ve been working in Social Services for seven years now,” she said, “and I’m burned out. You should you know that up front. I need a break—desperately.”
“And helping me out...isn’t exactly the break you’re looking for.”
“Not exactly,” she agreed. The baby nestled closer against her neck, and she patted his back gently. He was so tiny and so desperately in need of love, and she looked over at the infant, her heart melting in spite of her. “He’s very sweet, though.”
It was this sort of scenario that had drawn her to Social Services—parents in need of support, children in need of love. But there was always deeper heartbreak underneath, and that was what made this career so draining. She couldn’t fix it all. She couldn’t fix much actually. Everything she did for the good ended up hurting whoever was on the other side. There was never an easy right or wrong decision.
Mike smiled hesitantly. “I don’t know how to take care of him, and that scares me a whole lot. I’m better with perps and bad guys than I am with babies.”
“I can see that,” she said wryly.
“I can pay you for your time,” Mike added. “Basically, I’ll need to get some sort of child care arranged, but in the meantime, I’m looking for someone to take care of Benjie while I’m at work, and to teach me everything I need to know.”
It should be simple—a few baby care lessons and a little baby minding for a couple of weeks. Maybe it would help her get out of her head so she could decide about what to do with the rest of her life. Was she sticking with Social Services, or was she quitting for good?
“I’m not a long-term solution,” Paige cautioned.
Mike met her gaze, those gray eyes locking on to hers so powerfully that her breath caught. “I’m not looking for long term. I’m just looking for some help right now while I get my balance. What do you say?”
CHIEF SIMPSON HAD recommended Paige Stedler because he claimed she was the best. And looking at her with the baby nestled next to her chin, her undecided blue eyes meeting his, Mike had to wonder if this was a good idea.
When the chief mentioned a Social Services agent on leave, Mike had figured she’d be older, and maybe a little less attractive. Instead, he was faced with a petite blonde, her hair loose and wavy around her face. Her blue eyes were expressive, and he could read all the concerns flitting through the clear gaze that regarded him.
Paige broke eye contact and looked down at the baby again, adjusting him so that he lay in the crook of her arm. He looked snug and cozy in her arms—and she seemed so confident holding him. Mike had been scared that he’d drop the baby, or hurt him somehow. Benjie was just so small, with thin little arms and legs he was afraid he’d snap if he held him wrong.
“Here’s what I can do,” she said finally. “You have me for three weeks, so make sure you line up some alternative child care for after that. In that time, I’ll teach you everything you need to know about baby care and help you get comfortable. While you’re at work, I’ll take over, but when you’re home I expect you to be hands-on.”
“Okay,” he agreed.
“My stress leave is up in three weeks, so I’ll either be going back to work or tendering my resignation there,” she added.
“You’re thinking of quitting?” Mike asked in surprise, then he softened his tone. “Sorry, I just thought—”
“I have decisions of my own to make, is my point,” she said. “But maybe helping you with Benjie will get my feet wet again so that I can be sure of my choice.”
Mike saw Paige’s gaze flicker toward the chief, whose eyebrows were raised. Color rose in her cheeks. Obviously, this was news all around. But it shouldn’t matter to Mike. She was offering him three weeks of help, and he was grateful.
“Thanks,” he said. “I appreciate you being willing to give me a hand. All things considered.”
“You’re welcome.” Paige looked back in control again, her confidence in place. She was so petite, but she intimidated him a little. Maybe it was that he needed her help so much. He was more comfortable in the role of rescuer than...this.
“Take the day off,” the chief said, turning to Mike. “You can start fresh after you’re settled in.”
“Thanks, sir,” Mike replied. He looked down at Paige, feeling better already. Until he figured this out, he’d have some support from someone who knew what she was doing when it came to infants.
“If you’re willing to start now, we can head back to my place,” he said.
“Sounds good.” For the first time, she smiled, and he was struck by how it transformed her face. She went from pretty to stunning, and he turned his attention to the car seat instead. He was glad she was willing to give him a hand, but he’d have to stop noticing just how attractive she was if they were going to make this work.
He wasn’t sticking around Eagle’s Rest for long, anyway. This was a demotion, and everyone knew it. If he’d had a better relationship with the chief in Denver, Mike might have been able to pursue getting on to the SWAT team there, but things had gotten complicated between him and Chief Vernon. To say the least. If Mike stuck around Denver any longer, Chief Vernon would find some reason to write him up again, and his career as a cop might be over completely. Accepting this position in Eagle’s Rest was the smartest move under the circumstances.
SWAT was where Mike belonged, and he knew it. Not only was he built for the job—two hundred and fifty pounds of solid muscle—but he was also in peak physical shape and an excellent shot. But he was hungry for this position on more than a testosterone level. This was personal for him...atonement for past mistakes. He hadn’t always been this capable.
“Let’s get him back into the car seat,” Paige said, and for the next couple of minutes they got Benjie settled into the seat and buckled in. Paige tucked the blanket around him, and then stood back for Mike to pick it up.
“Thanks for the introduction, Chief,” Mike said, shaking the older man’s hand. “I’ll be back bright and early tomorrow morning.”
“Good luck.” Chief Simpson reached out and shook Paige’s hand. “To both of you.”
Mike and Paige headed out the door of his office and out into the bull pen. Paige glanced up at Mike, and he gave her a small smile. She was pretty, and she had a confidence about her that set his own frayed nerves at ease. They didn’t say anything else as they wound their way around desks and headed out of the station and into the chilly, autumn air.
“Let’s get him buckled into your car,” Paige said. “I’ll follow you back to your place.”
“Right. Sure.”
He’d gotten the car seat into his vehicle before, and it didn’t take him too long to get the car seat clicked into place now.
“I do appreciate this,” Mike said as he closed the door gently.
The wind ruffled Paige’s hair and she hunched her shoulders. “It’s no problem.”
“All the same...”
She smiled again. “Don’t thank me too soon. I’m a toughie. I’m going to make you do all this yourself, you know.”
“Probably for the best,” he said with a rueful smile. “So... My place is in the west end of town. You said you’ll follow me there?”
“I’ll be right behind you. I’m parked just over there.” She hooked a thumb toward a little blue hatchback, then raised her hand in a farewell and started off in that direction. He watched her for a moment, then heaved a sigh. He’d figure this out.
When Mike got into his cruiser, he glanced into the backseat. He couldn’t see into the car seat from that position, so he turned front again and sucked in a deep breath. He hadn’t slept since that phone call telling him about his nephew, and he hadn’t had a chance to process it all, either.
He started the car. Feeling any of this was just going to have to wait.
On the drive, Mike kept an eye on his rearview mirror, and Paige’s little blue car stayed steadily in the center of it. Eagle’s Rest was a small town in Colorado’s Rocky Mountains, and it didn’t take him long to get to his place and park out front. Paige parked beside him. Having her here to help him out did make him feel a bit better.
It was midmorning and the sun was shining despite the chilly wind. Mike got the car seat out of his car on his own. Benjie was covered up in that blanket that Paige had tucked around him, but even so, Mike hurried to unlock the front door, balancing the car seat in one hand as he fiddled with his key ring in the other.
The door swung open, and Mike gestured Paige in ahead of him.
“Here we are,” he said, casting a quick glance around the place. It looked like the bachelor pad it was. He had a couch—relatively new—a TV, a kitchen table that sat between the tiny kitchen and the living room. The master bedroom was down the hall, along with a second bedroom that was full of packed boxes. Where was the baby supposed to sleep? The thought only occurred to him now. He looked over at Paige in mild panic.
“What?” she asked.
“I only have one bedroom that isn’t full of boxes right now,” he said.
“I’m not staying the night,” she said wryly. “You’re doing night duty on your own.”
“No, I meant—” He smiled at her dry humor. “The baby. Where is he going to sleep?”
“He’s a newborn. He’ll be in your bedroom,” she replied.
“Yeah?” It wasn’t very big in there, either.
“I’ll suss up a bassinet for you and a couple other necessities. But he’ll sleep in your room so that when he cries, you can feed him more easily. It’s good for bonding, too.”
“Bonding.”
“He needs to know that there’s someone who will respond when he’s lonely, or when he’s hungry, or when he’s scared.”
“A mother,” he murmured.
“A parental figure,” she corrected him. “That’s you.”
“Yeah, right.” He was still getting used to that concept. He was going to be like a dad to this kid. For a while at least. It felt wrong, though. He was Benjie’s uncle. This was Jana’s child. Not his.
“Your sister...” Paige began, then winced. “Can I ask about her?”
Jana was out there somewhere—alone, for all he knew. She’d be recovering from childbirth, and he had no way to find her. At least not immediately.
“Why not?” Mike sighed. “The administrator at the hospital told me that she gave my name and said I was a local cop. She didn’t know I’d moved out to Eagle’s Rest—I had no contact information to even let her know. Anyway, the Denver department passed along the message.”
“But what’s her situation?” Paige asked.
“Jana’s an addict.” He swallowed hard. “I haven’t seen her in a long time. She ran away as a teenager a couple of times. The second time, she didn’t come back. This was the first contact I’ve had with her in about three years. And I’m not sure it really counts as contact, if I never saw or spoke to her, does it?”
“I guess not,” Paige said softly. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well...” He wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t talk about his sister—she wasn’t an easy topic. There weren’t any answers.
“What caused her to run away?” Paige asked.
“We were raised by our grandmother when our mom took off. Grandma wasn’t really equipped to raise two kids. Her health was failing, and frankly, she was just tired. But it was better than nothing. Anyway, Jana and I handled our upbringing a little differently, I guess. I toughened up, and she...didn’t. She was sensitive, and we went to a rough school. I didn’t notice that she was struggling until it was too late.”
“Was there abuse in your home? Addiction?” Paige asked. Yeah, that was the social services shining through. She would probably have seen a lot of this sort of thing in her career.
“Mostly it was neglect,” he replied. “We raised ourselves, and I was pretty busy with my own friends, drowning my own sorrows. I thought she was doing the same thing—just riding it out. Grandma hated Jana’s boyfriend. He got arrested a couple of times, and Grandma had enough, told Jana to stop seeing him. So she ran away with him. She came back when they broke up after a couple of months. I thought it was over, but she never did settle back in, and the next time she took off, she never came back. And we didn’t find her.”
“How old was the boyfriend?” Paige asked.
“Three years older than her. She was fourteen. He was seventeen. Looking back on it now, they were both pretty young.”
“You didn’t find her until now?” Paige asked.
“No, I tracked her down a couple of times. Once she found me and asked for money. Another time I found her when her name came through the system—arrested for petty theft. I don’t know where she is right now, though. They can’t tell me anything under the Safe Haven law that gives a mother the right to relinquish her infant within three days of birth, no questions asked. I guess she did the same thing Mom did with us—dropped her kid off with someone she knew would care, and left.”
“The police are still looking for her, though, right?” Paige asked.
“I’m personally looking for her,” Mike retorted. “I’m not going to let her down again.”
The baby started to whimper from the car seat, and he looked over at Paige expectantly.
“I told you that you’d be the one doing the baby care,” Paige said with a small smile. “No time like the present to get started.”
He stared down at the little guy, trepidation rising up inside of him. He reached down and undid the buckle.
“I’m not sure how...” he admitted.
“One hand under the bum, one hand under the neck and head,” she said, standing back, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Right.” He did as she instructed and lifted the infant out of the car seat. The little arms and legs flailed as Benjie opened his mouth in a plaintive wail. Mike pulled the baby into his chest, and Paige draped a blanket over him as Mike got adjusted. Benjie felt so small in his hands, and as the baby wriggled, squirming toward his neck, he was surprised as the little guy’s strength. Mike boosted him higher on his chest, and Benjie let out a soft sigh as his head made contact with Mike’s neck just under his chin. He couldn’t see the baby anymore now—just feel him as he settled over Mike’s heartbeat.
“Okay...” Mike breathed. “Got it. He’s really small, isn’t he?”
“They start out that way,” Paige said. “Especially if they’re born a little early. I’ll cut you some slack and get the bottle ready. At his size, he’s going to be eating every hour or two. He’s got some catching up to do.”
“As in twenty-four feedings a day?” Mike asked incredulously.
“Give or take.” She bent down, picked up a box of supplies that had come from Social Services in Denver and headed toward his kitchen. Her cheerful voice filtered back to him as he heard the tap turn on. “You’re about to find out what tired really feels like!”
And then she laughed, this buoyant, cheerful tinkle of laughter that made him feel a little better, in spite of it all.
