The Nurse's Christmas Hero
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Karin Baine
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13
CHAPTER ONE
‘OF ALL THE people I hoped I’d never see again...’ Shona’s instant reaction to setting eyes on Alasdair Murray was to lash out. Regardless of the tattoo her heart was beating at the sight of him again after a lifetime apart.
‘That’s one hell of a bedside manner you’ve got there, Nurse Wallace.’ He was actually grinning at her, without apparent remorse or shame on his part. No sign of apology for the teen trauma he’d caused her so long ago. Just a smile and a reminder of how devilishly handsome he was.
The mop of unruly dark curls, and those navy-blue eyes, matched with the shadow of masculine stubble, was as devastating to her peace of mind as ever.
‘It’s Nurse Kirk now,’ she bristled, hating that he’d intruded into her life again and ambushed her at work. It was always going to be a possibility, one of the cons she’d considered before returning to Braelin Island off the west coast of Scotland. She’d hoped to avoid him for a while, but no, it was her luck to run into him on literally her first shift at the local hospital.
‘Oh, yes. I forgot. You married. Insanely young.’ There was no disguising the sneer in his tone at her life decisions. It would be easy to cut down his smugness with the use of one word. Widow.
Except this wasn’t the time or the place to get into her personal affairs.
She glanced at her notes. ‘You don’t look like ten-year-old Eli Watts. So, if you wouldn’t mind letting me get on with my job...’
Despite her attempt to dismiss him out of her way, he remained rooted in her path.
‘Eli Watts,’ Shona called again into the A&E waiting room.
A little red head peered out from behind Alasdair. ‘That’s me.’
‘He...he’s with you?’ She glanced at her well-built childhood crush, then at the petite child he’d been blocking with his man bulk.
‘Yes. No. I mean, I brought him here. He fell, down by the boathouse, and I was on my way home, so I thought I’d bring him in. I’ve phoned his parents but I’ll wait with him until they get here.’
Great. In the meantime, she was stuck with him loitering around here.
‘Okay, Eli, why don’t you come with me and I’ll get you triaged?’ From the notes and the bloodied dressing on his leg, she could already tell it would take more than a sticking plaster.
She let them go into the triage room ahead of her and directed the boy onto the hospital trolley.
‘He’s going to need a few stitches,’ Alasdair, the boy’s self-appointed guardian, informed her.
She ignored him. ‘How did you hurt yourself, Eli?’
‘I was climbing on the rocks and slipped on some seaweed. There was a lot of blood.’ Young Eli looked suddenly very pale and faint as the shock of his injury began to set in.
‘Why don’t you lie back and take some nice deep breaths? I’ll clean this up for you.’ Although the gash on his leg was deep, someone had done a good job of patching him up. ‘Is this your handiwork?’
‘Ah, yeah. I was a paramedic in Glasgow for a while.’ This brief insight into Alasdair’s history widened Shona’s eyes and her view of him.
‘Local bad boy done good, huh?’ For as long as she’d known him, he’d had that reputation as the neighbourhood troublemaker, frequently suspended from school, breaking and entering, petty theft... Everyone had expected him to end up in jail. Except her.
‘Something like that.’
She’d seen beyond the bravado. When they’d hung out together as kids, she’d witnessed a vulnerability in him she doubted anyone else had ever taken the time to uncover. It shouldn’t surprise her that he’d managed to divert away from the path others had predicted for him. He’d always said he didn’t want to end up a loser like his father.
In a weird way she was proud of him and the man he’d become. So she forced herself to remember the last time she’d spoken to him, giving herself permission to keep on hating him.
‘Eli, I’m just going to clean your leg and change the dressing for you before you see the doctor. I’m afraid you are going to need a few stitches.’ Her patient remained stoic as she delivered the bad news.
‘You’ll be fine, big man. The doctor will numb your leg before he stitches it.’ Alasdair stepped up to the side of the bed to offer some big-brother-style reassurance.
Shona wondered if he was still in the medical profession in some way. The hospital was small, as was the island, so running into each other seemed inevitable. She wasn’t comfortable with the idea.
‘I’m sure I’m the last person you expected to see today.’ After their last encounter he should have been too ashamed of himself to even look her in the eye. He didn’t look anything of the sort.
Alasdair probably didn’t even remember the cruel things he’d said to her in front of the whole school. Why should he? It was doubtful he’d given her a second thought since he’d made it clear her feelings towards him were entirely unreciprocated.
‘Not really. I moved back five years ago for a new start. I see people coming and going all the time.’
Why had he moved back to Braelin? Had he come back alone or with someone else? Why had he felt the need to start over?
Perhaps she wasn’t the only one who’d had a tough time in their personal life. She really should have quizzed her sister more on the life and times of Alasdair Murray.
‘I would’ve thought Braelin was the last place you’d find that.’ Shona finished dressing Eli’s wound and deposited the soiled one in the bin.
‘True, true, but the devil you know and all that.’ Alasdair’s chuckle awakened a whole lot of new memories for her. The first time she’d heard him laugh so heartily was when she’d locked herself out of the house and he’d caught her trying to climb in through the window in an ungainly fashion. He’d teased her about copying his modus operandi, then proceeded to give her a boost with his hands planted firmly on her backside. Little wonder an impressionable teenage girl had assumed he was interested in her as more than his next-door neighbour.
They’d seen a lot of each other that summer, more so after her father had died. He’d gone out fishing and never returned. Shona really thought her world had ended that night. Her father had been her rock—her provider, comforter and confidant. The loss had been too great for her to bear and it was Alasdair who’d saved her from the pit of despair.
He’d done his best to cheer her up, walking with her on the beach. Letting her cry on his shoulder. Giving her a kick up the backside when she could barely drag herself out of bed. Teaching her how to skim stones and laughing at her pathetic attempts to replicate his triumphs when her stones hit the water with a ‘plop’ and sank without trace. Alasdair had been there for her and it had inevitably turned into more. At least for her.
Those had been the days when she’d thought they were enjoying each other’s company, forming a bond. The highlight of her days had been in his arms, kissing and awakening feelings she’d never experienced before. Only to realise he wasn’t as invested in their blossoming relationship as she was. He’d stood her up on one of the most important nights of her life, then rejected her so publicly at school.
She’d felt abandoned by Alasdair. He’d seen how devastated she’d been by her father’s death. She was afraid of what her life would be without him in it. Her safe, constant guardian had gone and at times it seemed as though she was the one drowning, struggling to breathe without him to look after her. When Alasdair had hugged her, told her everything would be all right, she’d believed he would be the new constant in her life. Perhaps it was a lot to expect from a teenage boy, but when he’d disappeared out of her life too it was akin to another bereavement. Yes, she’d had her mum and Chrissie, but she’d been a daddy’s girl. Then Alasdair’s girl. Then no one’s girl.
When Iain had come along, he’d filled that void in her life, offering the love, stability and support she’d longed for from a male figure. Only now he was gone too and she was right back to square one. This time she was determined to make it on her own and forgo the heartache and trauma of losing anyone else. Her family was all she needed.
All that teenage angst and drama surrounding her and Alasdair should be consigned to the past along with terrible hairstyles and fashion fails.
If only it didn’t continue to bother her about the reasons behind his hurtful behaviour towards her in the end.
‘That’s you all done for now, Eli. If you’d just like to take a seat out in the waiting room again the doctor will see you soon.’ She knew she sounded much too happy to be seeing them out again but Alasdair was never going to be conducive to her having the quiet life she’d hoped to return to here.
When Iain had offered her a life away from the small community it had seemed an exciting prospect. He’d been a young, successful entrepreneur who’d come to the island with a view to building on their tourist industry. His plans to develop some of the land into a spa retreat hadn’t gone down well with the locals but Shona had been impressed with his ambition. He’d asked her out after meeting her at the local pub and had showered her with compliments and expensive gifts. After everything that had gone on with Alasdair, her head had been easily turned by talk of life in the city and the prospect of a stable relationship.
Marriage to an older man had been romantic to an impressionable, grieving eighteen-year-old who’d already been burned by love once. She had no desire to keep repeating the mistake until she found ‘the one’, and finding someone to settle down with at such an early age was everything she’d wanted. Iain was financially secure, openly declared his feelings for her and, compared to Alasdair, was a safe bet. Perhaps he’d even been a replacement father figure in her life, even though she hadn’t realised it at the time.
Since then, she’d come to wonder about the person she might’ve been if she hadn’t been in a hurry to get off the island.
Iain had encouraged her interest in nursing when they’d moved to Edinburgh, but she’d studied as a married woman, not as part of the student community, missing out on the social aspect and personal growth that probably went hand in hand in college life. She’d jumped straight into being part of a couple, without exploring the person she was in her own right. It was only since Iain’s death that she was beginning to find out.
With their mother’s death eight years prior, Chrissie and her twin daughters were the only family Shona had left. She’d jumped at the offer to go and stay with them, hoping to rediscover the Shona she’d used to be before marriage, city life and grief had worn her down. She had no intention of morphing back into that heartbroken teenager mooning after a lost cause.
Hopefully she wouldn’t have to see him too often.
‘Thanks, Shona. It was good to catch up. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other around.’ He hovered in the doorway, preventing her from shutting him out altogether.
‘Not necessarily,’ she said, striving for the frosty air of someone who didn’t care.
‘We tend to get more emergency calls over the winter months.’
Now she was the one with her head cocked to the side, waiting for an explanation. ‘You’re still working as a paramedic?’ Her heart kamikazed into the pit of her stomach.
‘I’m not, but the lifeboat crew liaise quite a bit with hospital staff.’
‘Lifeboat crew?’
‘Yeah, I’m the station coxswain and mechanic over at the boathouse. Still saving lives, just in a different way.’ He was grinning as her hand turned white clutching the door handle behind her.
‘Good for you,’ was all she managed to squeak out before closing the door in his face. She leaned her head back on the wooden barrier between them and closed her eyes. This hadn’t been part of her plan. Neither seeing him nor reacting so emotionally to someone she should’ve forgotten long ago.
If she didn’t love her new job and her family so much, she’d flee as she’d done at eighteen. Only next time she wouldn’t marry the first man who asked, just to forget Alasdair Damn Murray.
Clearly Shona had neither forgiven nor forgotten him. Having first-hand confirmation that there was an area of his past which hadn’t been laid to rest weighed heavily on Alasdair’s heart. He’d only said the things he’d said, done the things he’d done, because he’d known he wasn’t good enough for her.
With adult hindsight he could see he’d caused more hurt that way, but even if she heard him out now it wouldn’t make any difference. The damage had been done a long time ago. They were strangers who’d led different lives down different paths and explaining his actions wasn’t going to change anything.
He’d known Shona was back on the island alone and working at the hospital. Her return was the most exciting news to hit Braelin since Mr Peterson had bought a motorhome at the start of the summer.
Alasdair’s first instinct had been to run to the hospital and apologise to her for everything, the way he’d done with everyone else he’d wronged when he’d come home. It had taken some time to convince the residents with long memories that he’d changed. Joining the lifeboat crew had been pivotal in changing people’s opinions about him. The guys at the boathouse were at the very heart of the community, so he’d made sure to take part in all fundraising events to get to know everyone again. The position he held in the crew made it vital for the Braelin inhabitants to trust him.
Some day the fishermen in trouble at sea, or the kids who’d swum out far beyond their capabilities, might have to rely on him to save their lives. There was no room for doubt. With Shona he already knew it was going to take more than a tour of the boatshed and a slice of homemade cake to get her onside.
Young Eli’s accident had provided Alasdair with the opening he needed. At her place of work, in the presence of a child, she hadn’t been able to tell him exactly what she thought of him. Now that they’d had one brief, terse exchange, he was hoping they’d get to speak again. Not least because he was curious about her reason for returning to Braelin too. Especially to live with her sister and nieces and not a significant other. He shouldn’t have been pleased to find out that tidbit when he knew how much break-ups sucked, divorces even more so, he assumed, but he’d been glad she’d come back alone. It meant they had one thing in common.
Her long red hair had been tied up today into a work-efficient ponytail, but he remembered it blowing around her freckled face in the Scottish wilds. Her hazel eyes were framed by mascara-tinted lashes and her lips were shiny with gloss, but she was still his Shona. A combination he was already having trouble erasing from his memory.
‘Eli? Come this way, please.’ The doctor in green scrubs appeared and summoned his next patient. Alasdair went with him. Although the boy had braved it out to this point, he suspected some of that machismo could have been for Shona’s benefit.
‘All right, Doc? This one took a chunk out of his leg down on the rocks. I’m being chaperone until his parents get here.’ Alasdair rested his hand on Eli’s shoulder to let him know he wasn’t alone. He knew what it was to have to come here alone and frightened, get stitched back together and sent back home. Except his parents had never turned up at any point, or cared. His mother had long abandoned them by the time he was Eli’s age, but his father’s absence had been down to complete uninterest. Some of his visits and injuries had been his own fault, others a punishment for alleged wrongdoing, but that was part of the past he was trying to leave behind.
‘Hi, Al. Good to see you, pal. How’s your dad doing these days?’ Like most people on the island the doctor was aware of his father’s declining health. The main reason for his homecoming.
Despite all his father’s failings and their turbulent relationship, he was Alasdair’s only family. They’d only had each other after his mother had abandoned them both when he was little, being part of a family apparently too stifling for a woman who’d struggled to fit into island life, according to the stories he’d heard.
He had the opposite point of view. It was something he longed to be part of and for a while he’d been led to believe it was in his immediate future. Until his girlfriend, Natasha, had changed her mind and made sure that wasn’t going to happen. Aborting their baby without a discussion. Their relationship hadn’t survived that betrayal and his life had suddenly become empty and void of possibility.
New start or second chance, Braelin was where he’d needed to be. Away from the shattered dreams of the family he’d never had, to reconnect with the one he did have. He’d reached out an olive branch to his father, regardless of how terrible their relationship had been. He was the only family Alasdair had, and even then he didn’t know for how much longer.
‘He has good days and bad days.’
The doctor nodded his head. ‘Dementia is a cruel illness. It takes a toll on everyone.’
‘Aye. At least he was more with it the last time I saw him. Enough to tell me I needed a shave and a haircut.’ The visits to the nursing home were stressful, at times painful, but Alasdair would be there until the end. He might not get the chance to be the father he’d aspired to be, or to having, but he could be a good son. When his time came, he’d have no regrets or need to make amends. Except where Shona was concerned.
Slipping back in time for father and son didn’t entail reminiscing about the happy times together. Those days had been filled with rows, broken ornaments and the odd punch thrown in for good measure. The good days now simply meant he managed to dodge anything physical thrown at him. Usually thanks to the help of the care home staff and sedatives.
‘Now, young man, let me see that leg.’
Eli did as the doctor asked and Alasdair could feel the tension in the boy’s body from across the room.
‘You’re going to freeze that leg before you get the needle out, aren’t you, Doctor?’ He wanted to reassure Eli it wouldn’t be as painful as he was probably imagining.
The doctor advanced towards the child propped up on the hospital bed. ‘That’s right. Just a small scratch...and we’re done.’ Eli sucked in a quick breath as the anaesthetic was administered to numb the area.
‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’ Alasdair gave him a thumbs-up and received a wavering smile in return.
In order to distract Eli, Alasdair and the doctor kept him engaged on the subject of his beloved football team until he was ready to be sutured.
‘You’ll have to keep the dressing dry and come back to get those stitches out. I’ll see you next week,’ the doctor promised Eli, then turned to Alasdair. ‘I’ll likely see you sooner than I’d prefer. No offence.’
‘None taken.’ It was the nature of their jobs that their paths only usually crossed in dramatic and often traumatic circumstances.
The adrenaline rush of a call-out for Alasdair often meant life or death for whoever was in need of his services. He never lost track of that thought. The job wasn’t about his ego, erasing his past, or ingratiating himself with the community. There was no room for selfishness when it came to saving lives.
The three shook hands and on returning to the waiting room Eli was reunited with his parents.
‘I had to get stitches, Mum.’ The patient was keen to show off his war wound and share his adventures.
‘What have I told you about playing down on the rocks by yourself? It’s dangerous and your gran didn’t know where you’d got to.’ Eli’s mother scolded him before grabbing him into a hug, clearly thankful it hadn’t been anything more serious.
‘Thanks for helping him and bringing him down here for us, Alasdair.’ His father slapped Alasdair amicably on the back.
‘No problem. I was clocking off for the day anyway.’
‘Well, next time you’re in the pub the drinks are on me.’
‘Done.’ They shook hands and Alasdair relinquished responsibility of the absconder. Compared to the things Alasdair had got up to at that age, going AWOL from a grandparent’s house was a minor infraction.
He was sure he’d been in trouble for much worse during his primary school days. Stealing out of his classmates’ lunchboxes had been a frequent crime. Looking back on that dirty, unkempt child in his second-hand, too small uniform, he couldn’t help but pity him. He’d already been written off by his father and the teachers at school as a bad egg. It never occurred to them he’d been thieving out of necessity to fill an empty belly.
Even if anyone had given him the chance to explain his actions, he would have been too embarrassed to tell the truth. That there was no food in the house and his father forgot he was even there most of the time. In his eyes, boys needed to be tough. Especially those whose mothers had run off and left them to fend for themselves. In his eyes, it was Alasdair’s fault his wife had run out on them, and he’d been punishing him for it ever since.
‘You’re the reason she’s gone. All that whining and neediness drove her away. Just because I’m stuck with you, doesn’t mean I’m going to baby you.’ True to his word, Max Murray had treated his son as an inconvenience from that day, when he bothered to acknowledge him at all.
Alasdair hadn’t understood his own behaviour then, never mind that of his parents. Now he knew it was the survival instinct of a neglected child which had been behind his young life of petty crime.
At one time he’d have eyed the happy reunion of Eli and his parents with a mixture of curiosity and a tinge of jealousy because he had no experience of that kind of relationship. Now it held a longing, a tidal wave of ‘what ifs’ for the family unit he’d once hoped to have too.
In moving away from the island and the preconceived notions of his character, training for a respected position in society, he’d done his best not to become another of the Murray men. According to history, they hadn’t amounted to much other than casual labourers and full-time drinkers.
Despite his efforts, Alasdair hadn’t been good enough for Natasha anyway. Perhaps it was a defective gene which rendered him unlovable, handed down from generations of men who only thought of themselves. How else could he explain his girlfriend getting rid of his baby, only to start a family with someone else?
For someone to have gone to such extraordinary lengths to avoid a life with him, causing him so much pain in the process, had taught him a lesson: not to give so much of himself, to love so completely, or to even share his life with anyone. It saved a lot of heartache all round for him just to accept he was destined to be alone.
What had happened with Shona had set the tone for all ensuing relationships. It had simply taken him a long time to realise he was still that loser teenager at heart.
‘Are you still here?’ Shona’s sharp observation cut deep into his introspection.
‘I...er...we’re just leaving.’
‘Uh-huh?’ She folded her arms and narrowed her gaze at him. ‘I think you’ll find the others have already gone.’
At the tilt of her head he watched the family disappear out of the automatic doors. He’d been so deep in conversation with his personal demons he’d lost his excuse for sticking around. Shona knew it too.
‘Sorry. I must’ve been miles away.’
‘Is there anything else I can help you with?’ Despite the question, she’d already turned away from him, towards the rest of the walking wounded in the waiting room.
‘You know, I don’t remember you being this cold, Shona.’ He’d had similar responses from other islanders, but her blatant rejection irked him more than most.
‘No? I wonder what on earth could have happened to make me this way?’ she said through gritted teeth, and waved the next patient through to Triage.
He deserved that. All Alasdair could do was pray the kind, loving girl he’d known hadn’t turned into this ice maiden because of something stupid he’d done a lifetime ago. Hopefully, this side of her was reserved for him only and in time he’d win her back around too.
‘I’ll see you around, Shona.’
She turned her attention back to him with a bright smile. ‘I sincerely hope not.’
This was one apology he was going to have to work extra hard at to gain forgiveness.
