The She-Wolf Series Book 2
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J.B.
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289K
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32
Chapter 1
Book 2: The She-Wolf’s Mate
SAMANTHA
A year and a bit had passed since Ivar walked out on me after the Alpha Ceremony Ball. I carried on as alpha, Luke experienced his first shift, and my parents found peace within the pack. My mom even started teaching preschool.
Life was moving forward, despite the memories of that night.
When Ivar left, rumors spread like wildfire about a conflict with the king. Most guests made a swift exit, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire. The truth was, Aidan had summoned a witch to teleport him and the king back to their Canadian territory after Ivar and Emerick nearly came to blows.
Thankfully, no one was hurt.
Whispers circulated that the king had claimed me, but I had rejected his proposal. I wasn’t sure if Ivar was the source of these rumors, or if it was just idle speculation. Either way, they weren’t far from the truth.
But they didn’t tell the whole story.
I spent most of that night unconscious after blacking out. Everyone assumed the king had done something awful to me. Only Michael managed to keep my family from fearing the worst.
He was there when I woke up, having kept vigil all night. I was initially confused to see him, but he quickly got to the point.
“You can’t fight this, Alpha,” he said, his tone firm. “You have to accept it.”
“I won’t, Michael. I’ll talk to Katrina. There must be a spell that can free me from him,” I replied, tears streaming down my face.
“There isn’t.”
“How can you be so sure?” I challenged.
“Because Cass and I are fated mates,” he retorted. He took a breath before continuing more gently, “Cass and I are fated mates, and I would have done anything to spare her from being tied to me, Sam. She doesn’t deserve to be haunted by my past. I sought help from every witch, every doctor, everyone I could think of. There’s no escape from this.”
“So, what am I supposed to do, Michael?” I pleaded. “I can’t abandon my son. I won’t. How do I make that choice?”
He fell silent for a moment.
“You’ll have to find a way to live with it,” he finally said.
“How?” I asked, desperate for reassurance that it would get easier.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I resisted my connection to Cass for a month before I couldn’t bear to see her suffer anymore. The pain you’re feeling now, it doesn’t fade. If you want to be alpha, then like I said, you’ll have to live with it.”
“Why did he leave?” I whispered, staring at the ceiling.
Michael didn’t respond, and I didn’t expect him to. Silent tears trickled down my face. After a moment, Michael spoke again.
“If it’s any consolation, he’s feeling the same thing.”
I laughed without humor. “It’s not.”
“I figured as much.”
He stayed with me a little longer before standing and squeezing my shoulder.
“I’m going home. Call me if you need anything. I can cover for a few days until you sort things out,” he said softly.
I met his gaze, a newfound determination in my eyes.
“There’s nothing to sort out. I’ll be in at seven.”
He gave me a long look before nodding slowly. Then he left, and I was alone again.
I thought back to the time after I lost Travis and the heartache I felt then. This was similar, but at least Travis didn’t choose to leave me. I knew if he could’ve been by my side, he would have.
That fact made me realize that Ivar wasn’t the man I wanted in my life, fated mate or not. If he could walk away without a second glance, then destiny had made a mistake.
Emerick had a hard time with the news too. He stayed away for the night on Michael’s orders, but the next morning he met me in the driveway as I was leaving for work at the pack house.
We stood a few feet apart, neither of us knowing what to say. In that moment, I realized my feelings for him had changed. I still cared about him and wanted him in my life as a friend. I even wanted his comfort, but I didn’t want the relationship we had before Ivar.
I didn’t love him the same way, and that realization shattered me even more.
“I’m sorry, Emerick,” I managed to say, my voice choked with emotion.
“Sam, I don’t understand,” he said, a pleading look in his eyes.
“He’s my mate,” I shrugged.
“Fated mates are a my—”
“They’re not,” I interrupted him. “I don’t know… It’s just…”
I struggled to find the right words.
“It’s not a myth,” I finally said. “I don’t know what else to tell you, but the connection is real.”
He nodded, his eyes misting over. My heart ached for him.
“Then, why’s he gone?” he asked.
His question felt like a hot knife in my heart. My chest tightened, and I lost my breath.
Why was ~he gone?
The million-dollar question I was afraid to answer.
“I wouldn’t leave the pack. Or Luke. And he won’t stay,” I whispered, omitting the fact that I apparently wasn’t enough for him to want to stay.
Emerick ran a hand through his hair.
“Well then, fuck him,” he said, clearly frustrated. “Let’s just forget about him. He can’t control you, and he can’t keep me away from you.”
I shook my head as he spoke.
“Em, he will kill you if we continue a romantic relationship,” I explained. “He may not want me, but he warned me to stay away from you.”
“I don’t care, Sam,” he argued. “He left. He doesn’t get to dictate your life.”
“Emerick, I don’t love you that way anymore.”
He froze.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could change it, but…”
My voice trailed off as I broke into fresh sobs. Emerick wrapped me in a comforting hug.
“Shhhh,” he whispered into my hair. “Shhh, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
I shook my head.
“He doesn’t want me, Em,” I sobbed.
“Then, he’s a blind mother fucker,” he growled. “And he doesn’t deserve you.”
Emerick was doing his best to soothe me, but he couldn’t possibly grasp the depth of my agony. My bond with Ivar was as real and solid as the earth beneath my feet. The moment I laid eyes on him, I felt our souls intertwine.
His initial touch might as well have been a direct caress to my heart.
Yet, he walked away just moments later.
In all fairness, I didn’t attempt to hold him back. Even though he might have persuaded me to leave the pack given some time, my son’s welfare took precedence over any man, even a destined mate.
Emerick’s voice pulled me back from my thoughts.
“There has to be a way to reverse this.”
I let out a sigh.
“Apparently, there isn’t.”
“I’ll find a way,” he vowed.
“All right, Em,” I gave in.
I didn’t have the energy to dispute. I nestled into Emerick for a moment longer, relishing the comfort of his familiar strength, but feeling none of the desire I had for him just a day before.
Our relationship morphed into a friendship. Emerick remained close to my family, offering any support he could.
Luke loved him, and they spent a lot of time together. I thought it was beneficial for my son to have a strong male role model during his tumultuous teenage werewolf years.
God knows I needed it after Luke’s first shift.
Despite our agreement to keep things strictly platonic, I knew Emerick still harbored hopes that I would change my mind. He kept his word to search for ways to break a fated-mate bond, but as Michael had cautioned, nothing concrete emerged.
Over time, I learned to live with the pain. I carried it around like a heavy burden in my chest.
For the sake of my pack, I couldn’t let my emotions overwhelm me.
As the months turned colder, I knew I would have to confront Ivar again at the winter solstice gathering. I steeled myself for weeks, preparing to guard my heart against the wave of pain I knew would follow another rejection.
However, when the time came, I never even saw him. I caught a whiff of his distinct, masculine scent a few times, but he must have deliberately avoided me, and I didn’t seek him out.
In the ensuing spring, rumors circulated that he had been spotted with a new woman at several public events. I maintained my composure in public, but in the solitude of the night, I fell apart.
I couldn’t comprehend how he could ignore the bond we shared.
A part of me was envious. I yearned to find solace in a new relationship, but the thought of being with another man repulsed me.
It wasn’t fair that he could still enjoy companionship while I was mired in my sorrow.
I decided to immerse myself in pack affairs to survive. It mostly worked, and the pack reaped the benefits.
Everyone was impressed with my leadership, and my people were leading better lives because of it.
The one advantage of the rumored link between Ivar and me was that the other alphas were petrified of retaliation if they made romantic overtures toward me. I was able to cultivate relationships and agreements with other packs without the risk of what they might want in return.
They treated me as just another alpha, and no one dared to threaten my pack even slightly. I wasn’t sure if they knew about Ivar necessarily being my fated mate, but they feared him nonetheless.
Today marked the one-year anniversary of my Alpha Ceremony, and consequently, the one-year anniversary of the day Ivar walked into and out of my life. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I knew that if I wallowed, I would only feel worse the next day.
I couldn’t let all the hard work I put into moving on from him go to waste. As Michael had said, I had to accept that this was my life now.
I dragged my weary body out of bed and slipped into leggings and a sweater. Today was not a day for high fashion.
I had intentionally not scheduled any meetings so I wouldn’t have to put in extra effort with anyone. Hiding in my office seemed the only way to get through the day.
I prepared breakfast for Luke on autopilot and managed a smile when he descended the stairs. He chatted away until we heard a car pull up outside.
I gave him a quizzical look, and he explained that Emerick was picking him up today since his car was in the shop.
The front door opened, and I turned to greet my former lover, now friend.
“Good morning, Em,” I tried to sound upbeat.
“Hey, Sammy,” he replied, enveloping me in a warm hug.
“How are you holding up, hun?”
As we pulled apart, I looked into his eyes and saw the concern there. He knew what day it was.
“I’m okay,” I lied with a smile.
I could tell he didn’t believe me, but he just nodded and gave my arm a gentle squeeze before turning to Luke.
“Ready, man?” Emerick asked.
“Mhmm,” Luke mumbled, shoving half a plate of eggs into his mouth and grabbing his backpack.
“Gross,” Emerick teased, and Luke rolled his eyes in response.
“Thank you for driving him,” I told Emerick as I walked them to his car.
“Don’t mention it,” he dismissed. “He’s good company.”
I smiled up at him and wished, not for the first time, that he had been the one destiny chose for me. The thought must’ve made me paranoid because I had the distinct feeling of being watched.
As I scanned the surroundings, I didn’t see anything unusual. Neither did I smell anything on the breeze. Emerick didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.
“Take care of yourself today,” he said gently.
“I will,” I promised, giving him a quick hug. “I’ll see you at work in a bit.”
He frowned slightly, and I wondered if he would try to talk me out of going to the pack house, but he just nodded before getting in the car and starting the engine.
I watched them drive away and then headed back into the house to grab my things.
I had just picked up my car keys when I heard a peculiar sound at the front door.
Scratch, scratch.
