I can’t believe it. After all the hell he put me through, I’m pregnant with his child. I’d imagined us having kids together, but that was before everything turned upside down.
I close my door once I reach my room and slide down against it, trying to hold back the tears. But it’s no use. They have a will of their own. I can’t do this.
He’s still out there and if he finds out, there’s no telling what he might do. What am I going to do?
And to top it all off, Axyl has had feelings for me this whole time. My father and brother knew. The whole damn club knew. I guess I was the only one in the dark. He won’t want me now.
I’ve been through so much. This baby must be a tough little thing to have survived what I’ve been through these past few weeks. I must be about a month along.
I guess it must have happened the last time before they left me for dead.
I survived hell once, mostly alone. I can survive this alone too. Who needs a man? I can do this by myself. I’ll prove it to myself and everyone else.
But I won’t be able to run and hide now. Those men out there won’t let me out of their sight now that they know I’m pregnant.
I guess I’ll just have to deal with it and live my life the way I want to. Until everything catches up and Alexander is either dealt with or finds out about the baby and makes his move.
I can’t think anymore. I want my brain to shut off. I’m exhausted and in pain. I decide to get up off the floor and allow myself tonight to wallow in self-pity.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I’ll be damned if I continue being this weak. I’m not weak. I’ve never been weak, and I’m not about to start now.
I change into some fresh pajama shorts and a sports bra before I crawl under the covers, hoping sleep will come sooner rather than later.
Pregnant? That bastard got her pregnant. She’s pregnant. I think I’m in shock. The girl I’ve loved since we were teenagers, who’s been through hell and back, is pregnant. And it’s from rape.
I want to kill him. I want to destroy everything in the clubhouse. She didn’t deserve any of what she went through. How is she going to get through this? She’s too damn stubborn to accept help.
Even I know that.
“FUCK!” I yell, grabbing the nearest chair and hurling it across the room. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch. I’m going to skin him alive for what he’s done to her.
“I want this dealt with and I want it done fast,” I say, looking at Westyn.
“That bastard is going down, but we can’t just go in guns blazing! We need a plan. If we go in there without a plan, we could all get killed! Get your head together, Axyl. She’s my sister.
“Do you think I don’t want to see that sick bastard suffer? He raped and tortured my sister nearly to death! He let his men rape and torture her. It’s a miracle she survived.
“And the kid that’s growing in her. I’ve always known how you felt about her, and she needs all of us right now. She may not want the help, but she’s going to get it.
“Now, let’s get to church so you can get to your girl,” Westyn says. He’s not wrong. I never really got over my feelings for her.
They were just buried under my relationship with Lana. “CHURCH!” Westyn bellows to the men with a seat at the table, including all our fathers who are here.
We all file in and take our seats. Once everyone is seated, Westyn bangs the gavel on the table to signal the start of church.
“As you all know, we were attacked tonight by Alexander. He’s after my sister and we can’t let him get her. She barely escaped with her life the last time that bastard had his hands on her.
“Now that she’s pregnant, if he finds out he’ll want the baby too. I’m surprised the baby survived everything she went through.
“I know all of you see her as your younger sister, daughter, or niece, and I appreciate that. From now on, I want someone with her at all times. She’s not to go anywhere alone.
“We have to do everything to keep my sister and her baby alive and safe. I want that bastard found, and I want him found yesterday,” Westyn begins.
“I’m not letting her out of my sight. You all know how stubborn she can be, and she won’t be happy about being watched all the time. She’s going to fight it every step of the way.
“Get ready to get shot, boys, because it wouldn’t be the first time she’s shot someone to get away,” I say.
I remember when she was younger, her brother and I were trying to stop her from going on a date with the jerk football star. She shot me in the shoulder. It hurt like hell.
I guess old feelings die hard. Reaper catches my glare. “Hey, she’s the one who asked to dance with me. It’s not like you claimed her. Besides, she’s my best friend. You’re going to have to get used to us hanging out.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Robert roars. “You had your hands on my daughter? What do you mean he’s not claiming her? He’s always had a claim to her.
“He was just too clueless to understand that she was off-limits to everyone but him.” I know he’s just ribbing him. He’s aware of how tight they are and wouldn’t want it any other way.
They’ve been friends since childhood and we know we don’t have to worry about him making a move on Ali.
“She’s not ready for that crap. She just escaped that toxic mess with Alexander and she just discovered she’s pregnant from what he did to her. I’m saying it now, she is off-limits to every single one of these guys here.
“Any of you lay a hand on her and I’ll chop it off.” Wow. I’ve got it bad. “So, in a way, I guess I am claiming her.”
“You heard him, guys. Aliana is, and has always been, Cannon’s Ol’ Lady. Good to see you finally pulled your head out of your ass. Now, let’s get this plan rolling. I want this jerk out of our lives and away from my daughters.” Robert declares.
We go over every detail and decide to figure out what he has planned. Once we get a solid idea of what he wants with Aliana we’ll strike when they’re least expecting it.
“Snoopy, I want you to dig up every bit of information on his club and what they’re planning. I want to know when he leaves and where he goes. I want to know when he takes a dump. I want to know everything.
“Reaper and Trigger, I want you two to grab one of his guys and bring him back to the clubhouse and put him in the cells for questioning.” Westyn instructs and after everyone grunts or nods in agreement, he ends the meeting.
Now it’s time for me to go check on my girl.
I don’t care how this baby was conceived, I’m going to care for it and love it with all I have. I’ll do it alone if I need to. I survived all those years of abuse alone.
What’s the difference in being a single mom? I can handle this. I won’t be completely alone though, I’ll have my mom. She’ll be there for me. So will my dad and brother. At least I’ll have them.
That’s all that matters to me. Having the support of my family.
What I went through made me stronger than I was before. I may be a strong, independent woman, but what do my dad and brother think of me? What does Axyl think? I need a shower.
Maybe that’ll help me sleep because right now, it seems that sleep is going to evade me tonight. No amount of tears are helping me fall asleep any faster.
I grab a pair of shorts and a tank top along with a towel and head to the bathroom. I turn the water on as hot as I can stand it. I just stand there with my head under the water stream.
I quickly wash my hair and body, dry off and head out to my bedroom to watch some Netflix. When I open the door, I see Axyl sitting on my bed.
“Axyl, what are you doing in my room?” I ask, walking to my bed after grabbing the remote. Just because he’s in my bed doesn’t mean I’m going to stand there and be uncomfortable. I’m wiped out and just want to relax.
“I came to check on you.” He said, pulling the blankets back for me. He took off his boots before he took his cut off and put it on the dresser and took his shirt off. Oh wow. That body. He’s gotten more tattoos.
After he removes his socks and jeans, he climbs into bed with me. “You keep that mouth open, I’ll put something in it to fill it.”
“Yeah, I can’t let my Ol’ Lady go through this crap alone.” He said. “Look, Ali, I know it took me a while to get my head out of my ass and I know that I was with Lana and all that, but you have always had my heart.
“If you tell anyone how sappy I’m being, I’ll deny everything. When Lana and I divorced because of what she was doing to Murdock and Danny, I was thinking that if you were to ever come back, I wouldn’t make the same mistake again, and here you are.”
“Where are the boys? You know how I feel about you and you know what I’ve been through. I’m damaged Ax and I don’t expect you to want to stay with a woman who is pregnant by a monster. I’m keeping it, you know.
“Just because it was conceived out of...you know, doesn’t mean the baby deserves to be treated like nothing.” I said.
“They’ve been with my mom this weekend. I needed to handle this crap with Lana, and they didn’t need to see this. We’re all damaged, Ali. Just because you went through that crap doesn’t make me think less of you.
“You know how I got my road name. You know I’ve done crap in my past and you don’t think differently of me. Why would I do the same with you? You have always been the girl that has had my heart. Now, can we stop this sappy crap before my man card gets revoked?”
I just nod and snuggle close to him and start the show. I make it halfway through the episode before sleep welcomes me full force.
