My Forever

When I first moved there with Mom and Dad, I didn’t know that the boy with dirty-blond hair and green eyes who accidentally ran into me would become my everything one day.

Only to leave me with nothing.

As I’m about to step onto the bus, my bag slips from my shoulder and lands on the gravel road. Sighing, I bend down to pick it up, but another hand beats me to it.

Raising my head, I lock eyes with a familiar green pair.

Shock is evident on both our faces. Not once did I think that today would be the day I’d see him after almost a year…the day when I’m at my weakest point.

The last memory I have of him is from last year, him signing off on the divorce papers and putting an end to our happily ever after.

Clearing his throat, he speaks. “Hi.”

His deep voice brings back all the memories which I’ve kept buried in my heart for the last year.

“Hey,” I reply, tearing my gaze away from him.

“How are you?” he asks.

“Good.” I nod.

“Going home for Thanksgiving?” He lets out a small, forced chuckle, trying to make small talk.

Maybe I’m still trying to figure it out.

“No, going there to attend to some unfinished business,” I say impassively, locking down my emotions, which come alive whenever I think about how my life turned upside down within a few months.

Not wanting to divulge anything more than I’ve already said, I climb inside the bus without looking back at him.

He follows me inside and takes his seat across the aisle, a few seats away from mine.

I can sense him stealing glances in my direction, but never once do I look at him.

I can’t blame him for the divorce; we both were at fault. But still, it hurts to know he never gave us a chance to work on our differences.

Our relationship took a backseat as his work became his priority, but I never wanted him to choose between his work and me. I know how many struggles he faced to reach the position he’s in now. But I also have a limit.

When my love started to suffocate him, I realized there was nothing left for me to fight for. Gradually, the relationship that we’d once cherished became a burden for both of us.

How much can a person change in a year? She looks nothing like herself, like I’m seeing a completely different person instead of the one I’ve known almost all my life.

Her eyes, which always used to carry a spark like she was up to something, now look so empty. I hardly remember a time when there wasn’t a smile on her lips; however, these lips look like they don’t even know what a smile is.

She was my everything, but our relationship couldn’t stand the test of time and we fell apart. Honestly, I never wanted this to happen, but it looks like she’s given up on me. On us.

Not even once has she tried to reach out to me. And I was too blinded by my ego to extend my hand to her.

When I decided to make this trip back home, I never thought we’d come face-to-face like this after being away for so long. But I won’t lie and say that I haven’t thought about her at all this past year.

There were numerous times when I called to her in an empty room just to remember the sound of her name, just to feel the peace that her name brought to my heart… But it just made me more restless.

I can’t stop myself from glancing at her. One year…one whole year I haven’t seen her face, and now when she’s in front of me, everything else seems meaningless.

She’s close to me, yet so far.

Seeing her has made everything real—the pain, the hurt, the longing—and the situation hits me with full force: what we once had is now no more.

We’re nothing but two strangers who once promised their lives to each other, promised to hold each other’s hand when the times demanded. But unfortunately, circumstances caused us to drift apart.

When any relationship breaks, it isn’t the fault of one person. Both people are responsible for its failure.

If she was heartbroken, I couldn’t be happy. If she was suffering, then my heart was also crying.

I never wanted this to happen, but she didn’t fight to save what we had either. It was like there was nothing left for her in our marriage.

I swear if she’d told me that she still loved me even once, I would have done everything in my power to be with her.

Unfortunately, the love that we thought was our strength wasn’t strong enough to keep us together.