Big & Beautiful 1: Chubby & Charming

I used to like my life. I thought I had it all. Or at least all I expected as a fat woman. I had a great set of friends, a job I enjoyed, and my own place. I was on my way to buying a new car and I was happy.

And then I met him.

Xander Carlson.

The man who turned my life upside down.

I know, you think I’m being foolish. Everyone wants a man in their life, right? Women all really just want someone to take care of them? Well, not me. I wanted to do it myself. I was a strong woman who could take care of herself. I never pictured my life with a man.

Maybe because I never thought anyone would want me.

Okay, not maybe. Definitely.

I grew up fat. Pictures from when I was little reminded me of that whenever I visited my parents, and their display of family photos throughout the ages. My brother loved to remind me of it, too. In one particular picture of me at three years old, I was wearing a yellow bathing suit and laying in one of those plastic pools. My brother said I looked like a beached whale.

Yeah, he’s an asshole.

He’s also right. I hate to admit it, but my weight seemed to be genetic and uncontrollable. It became something I just accepted because if I’d always been fat then I always would be fat. Eh, no big deal.

Like I said, I was happy. It didn’t matter to me that I never had men chasing me. I saw my friends go through problems with men and took comfort in knowing I never had to deal with all that.

Not to say I didn’t have boyfriends or date. I did, but it usually was something short lived. One of us realized we weren’t right for each other. Eventually I decided dating was more trouble than it was worth. Whenever I went out with someone, I made sure it was a purely physical thing, or just a friends thing.

But I didn’t need men as friends. I had three awesome female friends that kept my life fun.

Claire was my closest friend. She and I went to high school together in Winterville, New York. Claire was thin in high school but started gaining weight after her high school boyfriend raped her. Claire never really got over it.

How could you?

I was there for Claire, but watching her go through something so horrible and then hide behind her weight was tough. Especially when I knew how skinny Claire could be. Sometimes I thought she wasted her body because if I could have been skinny I would have. But then I remembered that fat was fun and I ate another cupcake.

Claire and I met Sam and Addi in college. We all went to Erie University, also in Winterville. As cold as the town was, it was home and I could never bring myself to leave.

Sam and Addi are also overweight. The four of us lived near each other in the dorm our freshman year and hit it off. We were among the only ones not running out to frat parties and bars every night. We would sit around the dorm and watch chick flicks and bake brownies.

There’s a reason we became close friends.

But this story isn’t about them. It’s about him. About the man who ruined my life. The man who took away all my happiness.

I worked at Western New York Health, a local branch of one of the big insurance companies. In customer service, where I worked, we handled questions from customers about their claims. If there was a problem, we would talk it through with them and then contact the doctor’s office to request a new form detailing the services rendered.

It sounds boring, I know. Really, I liked it. I’ve always been good with people and liked to talk. Being on the phone hid my appearance so I wasn’t judged by my size. I could be a phone sex operator by night or a model, but no one would ever really know.

The anonymity let me be the real me on the phone. I could joke with the customers who needed a laugh, I could console the ones who were upset, or I could flirt with the ones who sounded hot.

Xander Carlson fit into that last category. Squarely.

It was a Monday when he called me the first time. Spring was just starting to make an appearance in our Western New York town. Outside the window near my cubicle I could see the trees finally starting to thaw. Inside, my cube was part of the standard cube farm with blue-grey walls that were about waist high when you stood up. Everything was dull and drab and felt like a rainy day, even when the sun was out. The boring interior made the outdoors seem that much nicer, especially on days like that one.

It was the first day we’d broken fifty since the previous October. Even though I wasn’t foolish enough to pack up my winter clothes (our town wasn’t called Winterville for nothing) I was excited to see the first signs of spring.

I was off my game because of the weather.

That’s my story.

The phone rang and I was lost in a daydream about warmer weather, maybe even a vacation with my best friends. We’d all been talking about going on a cruise for years together, but we’d never done it. When the phone rang, I barely knew what I was doing when I picked it up and said, “Western New York Health, Mandy speaking. How can I help you today?”

The brief pause on the other end of the line set me on edge to start with. When he started talking, I was sunk. His voice was rich and deep, smooth. He sounded like a wet dream come to life. He should have been the one working on the phone with a voice like his, but I just knew he had the body to match. A body that would have been put to better use in front of a TV camera where you could see and hear him.

“Hi Mandy. I’m Xander Carlson. I guess I need some help.”

I took a deep breath. They all needed help. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be calling. But I understood not really knowing where to start.

Plus, he used my name. Most people called and didn’t address me at all. But he said my name. And I wanted to hear him say it again. And again.

“Okay Mr. Carlson, let’s see if I can help you. First, my direct extension is 8657. If you get disconnected for any reason, call back and enter my extension when it gives you the option. Otherwise, you’ll have to go back through everything to get to a person. Second, I need your claim number so I can look it up.”

I heard papers shuffling through the phone as he presumably looked for his claim number.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he said, nearly making me lose my train of thought. “Okay, here it is. My claim number is 273MX85G5739.”

I typed in the code as he read it to me, struggling to focus on my job and not his compliment, and waited while my computer pulled up the claim. It was for a claim that was two months old and for an Alexander Steven Carlson. I quickly scanned the details, wondering what horrifying thing the man with the sexy voice could have gotten taken care of.

It turned out to be a pretty standard claim including a general checkup and blood work. There were a few notes that said he had a payment due and was challenging it, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Thank God he wasn’t hiding some horrible disease.

“Can you tell me your full name please?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. It’s Alexander Steven Carlson. I forget about that sometimes.”

“It’s no problem. Lots of people go by nicknames. Okay, so I see the claim has been paid and you owe the balance. It also looks like you’ve been challenging this one for a week. What can I help you with today?”

He blew out a breath, not sounding irritated, but instead sounding worn out. He’d been through this before and he didn’t feel like explaining it again. That was a familiar noise in my job.

“When I first got the EOB I called my doc. He thought he coded it wrong when he submitted the claim and for some reason it isn’t getting set as an annual exam. The doc was supposed to resubmit the exam details and I would get another EOB in the mail. I got a new one today, with Friday’s date, showing all the same information. Nothing has been updated.”

I keyed in a few things to see if I could find the problem. Usually when something like that happened it was just pushed through without waiting for the doctor’s billing. It sounded like his Explanation of Benefits just got resent, not redone.

While I looked through the details that were in the file about this claim he started talking again. “I’m sorry to be dragging you into this. You’re much nicer than the last woman I spoke to. And I’m thrilled to be talking to an American. Maybe I shouldn’t say that, but it’s so hard to talk to people who don’t speak the same language.”

I laughed to myself at his honesty. “Well, everyone at Western New York Health is American. We’re local, in Winterville about ten minutes southeast of Buffalo.”

“Really? I live in Winterville. Maybe one day I’ll get to see the beautiful face that goes with your beautiful voice.”

I froze. He couldn’t be talking to me. Oh, wait, that’s right, he had no idea what I looked like. He was just flirting.

“Yes, well, I’m sure you’ve got your share of stunning women lining up for a date with you. As for your claim, I apologize for what you’ve been through. Your claim hasn’t been reprocessed yet, but I can take care of that so you don’t have to worry about the payment.”

Xander huffed into the phone, sounding relieved.

“It really isn’t that big of a deal to me. The money isn’t that much, but it’s more the principle of the thing. I only go to the doctor when I need to. No offense but I hate dealing with all this crap. I feel like I only ever talk to people who really don’t give a shit about me.”

I stifled a laugh when I noticed that his previous call was taken by Melody, my nemesis at work. She was definitely one of those people who didn’t give a shit about the job, or the people. I tried not to be that way. I was smart enough to know one of the biggest reasons for people to lose everything was medical issues. I didn’t want to have any of our customers end up bankrupt if there was something I could do to help.

“Hopefully I don’t give you that impression, Mr. Carlson. I assure you I will do whatever I can to take care of this for you. I think I can see the problem here though. The dates on the doctor’s billing show that you were there on February 23. Your annual exam last year was on February 25 so we won’t cover an annual exam until after a year is up. Here’s the thing though, I’m looking at a calendar and February 23 was a Saturday. Did you go to the doctor on that day or was it a different day?”

“What? No. My doctor isn’t even open on Saturdays. I was there on a Thursday.”

I flipped back through the images on my screen and zoomed in to see the billing. The date looked like a 23 but it easily could have been 28.

“Mr. Carlson, it looks like your claim should have been for the 28th instead. I don’t have the authority to make that change in our system. If I can put you on hold for a few minutes, I will talk to my supervisor and see if we can get it updated for you.”

“Please, call me Xander. Mandy, you’re a lifesaver. Thank you so much. And yes, I’ll wait.”

I hit the hold button and called over Diana, my boss. “It looks like his date of service was entered incorrectly. He is on the phone and said he was there on a Thursday. The date of service puts him there on a Saturday which should have been flagged, especially after his first call. I think we can resubmit the claim with the correct date of service on here and get this taken care of.”

Diana looked over the forms on my computer and nodded. “You’re right. Good catch, Mandy.”

Diana walked away and I sent the files to her for approval. I saw her sit back down at her desk, a few cubicles away. I waited until she gave me the thumbs up to say she’d corrected everything then clicked back onto the phone.

“Mr. Carlson—“

“Xander,” his smooth voice hummed in my ear, “please.”

“Sorry, Xander. It looks like we’ve got it all taken care of. My boss has already approved the change to the dates and your claim will be reprocessed. You should get a new EOB within a few days showing the updated charges. Your doctor will get a new one also. If he’s billing you for this, you can call him and tell him things are being taken care of on our end. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Xander chuckled softly, a soft rumble that was like a full body tremor. I felt it all the way through me, lighting me up. “I just can’t believe I got this resolved and I got to talk to a beautiful woman on the phone. I almost wish you couldn’t fix it so I’d have an excuse to call you again.”

I blushed. I actually fucking blushed. A man had never made me blush. I felt beautiful, like he meant it. But of course I knew it was just an illusion. He had no idea what I looked like. If he did, he wouldn’t have given me a second thought. I knew that.

“Well, unfortunately for you Xander, I’m very good at my job and I take customer satisfaction very seriously.”

“I can tell you satisfy everyone you talk to.”

What? Did he really just say that? Holy shit, he was totally hitting on me. I was stunned. And he wasn’t just hitting on me, he was intimating that I’m good in bed. Whoa! I was baffled. Men never hit on me, on the phone or in person. If only I could believe he meant it.

Xander chuckled at my silence, waking up parts long dormant. I shifted in my seat, my panties getting wet as I imagined the ways I’d like to satisfy a man like him.

“I’m sorry, that was out of line. I just wasn’t expecting to find someone like you on the other end of the line.”

“Uh, thank you, Mr. Carl— I mean Xander. It was a pleasure talking to you today. I’m glad I was able to help you with your problem. If you ever need anything else, please don’t hesitate to get back in touch with us.”

“Thank you. I hope I have lots more problems. Goodbye Mandy.”

I said goodbye with a grin. I couldn’t stop smiling. It was silly. He was attracted to my voice, not to me. He was grateful I helped him, not actually hitting on me. I would be a fool to read more into it than was really there.

But for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about him.