A Valentine's Day Return
Yazar
Brenda Minton
Okur
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Bölüm
16
Chapter One
The town of Sunset Ridge, Oklahoma, had changed a lot since Mark Rivers left. He’d been eighteen the day he hit the road in an old pickup truck a lot like the one he drove today. A truck that smelled of oil and the farm, with cloth-and-vinyl seats and a faded red dash and more faded fake-wood trim. These days, he could afford better, but he’d bought this truck when his plane landed in Tulsa. A truck that took him back to his roots.
He pulled around the square, past Chuck’s Café, past the thrift store and the antique store, then found a parking space a short distance from Kylie’s Coffee Shop and Bakery. It was late on Sunday night. They weren’t at home. Church had let out an hour earlier. He couldn’t think of anywhere else they might be. His guess had been correct. The lights to the coffee shop were on.
He cut the engine, then he just sat there letting the cold January air seep in, not getting out, not confronting his past or his mistakes. Yeah, he guessed it might be true that he was a coward, but going in there wouldn’t be easy. He’d hurt his wife, scratch that, his ex-wife, and his daughter, and he doubted either of them were ready to forgive.
He didn’t blame them. There were times he didn’t know if he could forgive himself.
From inside the truck, he watched as his...as Kylie hung cut-out hearts and white twinkling lights in the windows of her little shop with its green awning and bistro-style furniture. Through the big glass window, he saw her smile at their daughter, saw the light shimmer off her hair. She’d dyed it a silvery gray color. He liked it, even though he also loved her natural, dark hair color. Junie, now six, held the ends of the lights and said something that made them both laugh.
Junie. From birth, she’d had those dark curls and big eyes that made her daddy want to spoil her rotten and never let her cry. Too bad he’d been the cause of her tears.
Man, they were beautiful, his wife and daughter. They were the two biggest blessings in his life. He’d overlooked their value and picked the things that had landed him in the gutter.
He’d never get them back, he knew that. He didn’t want them back, not if there was any chance that he’d hurt them again. No, they were better off without him.
They didn’t need him. Watching them through the window, that seemed obvious. They were happy in this life they’d built for themselves. They were laughing and smiling, two things they hadn’t done when they’d been with him. As he watched, Kylie twirled their daughter in lights, and then she took a quick picture of the two of them together.
They might not need him in their lives, but they did need for him to be a better person. They needed to be able to depend on him.
That started now.
He had to go in and make things right. He guessed seeing him clean and sober would be almost as surprising as the last time they’d seen him.
That hadn’t been one of his finer moments. What he could remember of it. One thing he did remember, the look on Junie’s face when he stumbled through the doors of the church, crashing into his brother’s wedding. At the memory, his hands clenched on the steering wheel, seeing it as clearly as if it had just happened. Junie’s expression had been branded into his memory.
A man had to get to a place of complete brokenness in order to get help. That had been his moment. He’d spent three months in rehab getting clean. He’d spent the past nine months out, living a sober life. All because of Junie and that day. He wanted to never see that look on her face, ever again.
He had to shed the persona of country musician Marcus Rivers, and he had to walk through the door of Kylie’s shop a humbled man, seeking to make things right.
Casually, as if his heart didn’t plan to beat its way out of his chest, he exited the old truck. He pushed the door closed, having already realized it didn’t much like latching. The air was crisp, but not cold. It was the middle of January, and winter had settled over the countryside, leaving the grass brown and trees bare. The lights and tinsel of Christmas were gone.
He faced Kylie’s little shop, the one he’d helped her purchase. She’d supported his dreams of becoming a country singer, so it made sense that he’d helped her gain her dream of having a coffee shop and bakery.
As he approached the door, his hands began to sweat, and he felt a little queasy. He’d never been as confident as he let the world think. His swagger and courage had come from the bottle, and now he had to find a new brand of strength. He’d found strength in renewing his faith. He guessed that eventually he’d even find a little faith in his own abilities.
From her perch on the ladder, she noticed him. It didn’t take him by surprise, the way her dark eyes widened, the way she went pale. The shock turned to loathing in the space of a heartbeat. Loathing, that had to be the only word that fit the expression on Kylie’s face.
Make amends, his sponsor had insisted. To move forward, this step must happen. It had to be more than an apology. It had to be about making things right. Not only for his wife and daughter, but for himself. He drew in a breath and prayed for more strength.
He entered the shop, the jingly-jangly bells ringing a cheerful greeting. Kylie stepped down from the ladder. Junie moved to her mother’s side, her startled gaze shifting from one parent to the other. He’d thought of numerous greetings, but in the moment, he couldn’t think of a single thing to say, or anything that made sense.
“Honey, I’m home.” Not the greeting he’d practiced.
And yet he’d done it anyway. As the words slipped out, he closed his eyes and groaned.
“You still have a way with words,” Kylie said. “What are you doing here, Mark?”
“I’m taking a little break.” More than a break. “I came home to spend time with my dad.” Those were also not the words he’d planned, because he hadn’t planned on spending time with Buck at the ranch his brother Matthew had decided to bring back to life.
Dealing with Buck might be on the to-do list, but Kylie and Junie came first. He should tell her that, or something along those lines.
“Oh, I see.” She pulled Junie a little closer, a gesture that hurt more than anything she might have said. “We were just closing up for the day.”
He remained frozen to the cheery sunflower welcome mat, not daring to go any farther. He smiled down at his daughter. She was the best of the two of them. She had Kylie’s dark eyes; her curls came from him, and that stubborn tip of her chin, well, it seemed a perfect imitation of her mother’s at that moment.
In all the times he’d played this reunion through, he guessed he hadn’t really pictured how they’d react to his visit. He’d thought about what he’d say and how he’d say it, but he hadn’t thought about them. Again, he’d been thinking of himself.
That had to stop. This wasn’t for him, it was for Kylie and Junie.
Kylie cleared her throat, and he shifted his attention to her. She’d lost weight. Because of him? It would make sense.
“I should have called,” he said as he glanced down at the sparkly gift bag he’d carried in.
“Probably,” Kylie said. “But you’re here, so you might as well say what you’ve come to say.”
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”
“Mark, please just...” she waved her hand, a gesture that told him to carry on. Junie had moved a little in his direction, her eyes wide with curiosity. It had been too long, and he’d not known the impact of the long months of separation until that moment.
“Hey, June Bug,” he greeted as he went down on one knee to put himself at eye level with his daughter. No one wanted to be towered over, especially if the situation already felt dire. “I brought you a gift from Nashville.”
Little teeth bit down on her bottom lip, unsure. He held out the bag with its tissue paper and multicolored ribbons. After a few long seconds, she took it, glancing up at Kylie to make sure she had permission. Curiosity overcame her, and she peeked inside. A smile grew as she reached into the bag and pulled out a music box. It was an intricate doodad that he’d picked up at a shop on Music Row. Probably the wrong gift for a little girl, but he’d thought it pretty when he spotted it inside the glass case at the store. She could shake it like a snow globe and cause tiny flakes to fall upon the Grand Ole Opry, or she could wind it up and listen to Loretta Lynn singing “Wildwood Flower.”
On second thought, he regretted the gift and the song. A song of a love that had been misused and left by a wandering man who broke a woman’s heart. The worst possible song—he’d just always loved the tune. He briefly closed his eyes.
“Nice,” Kylie whispered, and he looked up just in time to see her swipe away a tear.
“I...” What did he say? “I’m sorry.”
“For the music box?” Junie asked in a quiet voice that interrupted their conversation and reminded them of her presence.
Mark inhaled and prayed God would give him the right words for the situation. A situation of his own making.
“No,” he started, looking from his daughter to her mother. “I’m sorry for so much—I don’t know where to start. I should have written down all the reasons I owe you an apology and need your forgiveness.”
“That would be a long list,” Kylie said, her tone dry.
He studied her face, really studied it. The hint of amusement in her dark eyes reminded him of their early days. They’d been childhood friends and then teens falling in love. At seventeen, she’d joined him in Nashville, wanting the adventure and believing in his ability to succeed. He had found success, and then he’d ruined everything, including them.
Even at thirty-one, he still saw hints of the girl he’d known. She was tall, only inches shorter than him. She’d grown slimmer since leaving him. Junie, on the other hand, with her curls and rounded cheeks, seemed to be thriving.
“It would be a long list,” he agreed. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“Mommy isn’t feeling well—we should go home now.” Junie spoke, the music box still clutched in her tiny hands.
“I’m fine,” Kylie inserted with a firm voice. “We aren’t going home just yet. I need to have these decorations up by morning. With Christmas over, we’re moving on to Valentine’s Day.”
“I can help,” Mark offered.
“No, we can do it.” Junie again, her rosebud lips pursed in a perfect imitation of her mother. He smiled at her, wishing he had been a better father. Praying he could be a father again and make up for the times he’d failed her, for the years he’d lost.
“Junie,” Kylie warned. “Always be respectful.”
Junie opened her mouth as if to add something, but a quick look at her mother stopped the words.
“Excuse me,” Kylie said as she pushed her hand to her mouth and hurried from the room.
That left Mark with his daughter.
“Junie, I’m really very sorry for hurting you and upsetting you. I haven’t been the best dad.” He paused at the expression on her little face. He didn’t have a clue how he should talk to his daughter. “I’ve not been a dad at all. I hope to make that up to you.”
She gave him a quick look, her head tilted to the side and her expression far too wise. After a few seconds, she nodded. “It’s okay, Mark. I forgive you.”
“Do you?” he asked, trying not to be hurt by the use of his first name.
“Yes, I do. We learned about forgiving in Sunday school. There’s a verse I can’t remember, but it’s important to forgive.”
“I’ll look those verses up,” he promised her. He glanced toward the door to the back of the shop. “Do you think we should check on her?”
Junie shook her head. “She’ll be back. She’s been sick all week, but she won’t listen to Aunt Parker. Aunt Parker said she needs to go in and get checked. Aunt Parker is a nurse. You ruined her wedding.”
He whistled soft and low at that. “Yeah, I guess I owe her an apology, too.”
“She’s the one who taught me about forgiving. If you ask, she’ll forgive you.” She leaned in close, as if telling him a secret. “Some wounds take more time to heal.”
“Aunt Parker?” he whispered back.
Junie nodded.
Kylie still hadn’t returned. He was caught between the urge to help and to mind his own business. She’d left him four years ago and made it clear he could see his daughter, but would no longer be welcome in her life.
“Should we go ahead and finish hanging these lights?” he asked Junie.
“I don’t know,” she frowned as she looked from him to the string of lights. “Maybe.”
“I’ll get on the ladder. You can hand them up.”
She nodded, accepting the plan. He shouldn’t have felt elated over the tiny hint of acceptance, but he did. Elated on one hand, worried on the other. Kylie had yet to return.
Kylie leaned against the wall, trembling, her legs weak. It felt as if a hot knife sliced through her abdomen, and the pain, unlike the other times, didn’t seem to be abating. As she tried to take a step, the pain nearly brought her to her knees.
Of all the times for Mark to show up, why now? She didn’t want him here to witness her illness. She didn’t want to be doubled over in pain, feeling vulnerable, while he looked better than ever and smelled like an expensive trip to a Caribbean island.
He’d broken her heart. He’d used up all of her loyalty, in the process destroying every ounce of love she’d had for him. She could forgive him. That didn’t mean she wanted him in her life or her shop.
They shared a daughter. She had to remind herself that he had a right to see Junie, to be in her life. Junie wanted to see her father. Didn’t every little girl? As a child who’d grown up with a single mother, Kylie knew the pain of missing out on a father.
It had been so much simpler with him in Tennessee and the two of them in Oklahoma. Absence hadn’t made the heart grow fonder—it had just helped hers to heal.
Taking a few deep breaths, she found the strength to walk out of the bathroom. She would make this quick. She’d let him say whatever he needed to say, and then she’d go home to a cup of tea and her warmest robe.
As she entered the dining room, she managed to remain upright. The last thing she wanted was to collapse on the floor in a puddle of tears and sickness. Bright smile, she urged herself. Pretend everything is fine. She looked up to a scene that could have been on the front of a greeting card.
Junie stood by the window, the twinkling lights wrapped around her body. Kylie’s gaze traveled up. Mark stood on the ladder, his jeans low on his hips, his faded red sweatshirt snug across his shoulders. His hair, always curly, was more controlled these days. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, or perhaps that was his new style, scruffy. She disliked that she noticed how cute he was or the way his silver-gray eyes sought approval when he caught her watching.
“Ky, you okay?” he asked, using the nickname he’d given her the year she’d turned twelve. They’d been riding bikes around town and then they’d headed to the creek to wade in the icy cold water.
“I’m good,” she tried to reassure him and their daughter. She reached for the counter, doing her best to stay upright.
“Mommy?” Junie clearly didn’t believe she was okay.
“I’m fine,” Kylie repeated, to them and to herself. “I just need to go home and rest.”
Mark hopped down from the ladder and moved to her side. Gently, he felt her forehead, as if temperature checking came naturally to him. Then he leaned and pressed his lips to her brow, the way she often did to Junie. “You’re burning up.”
“I’m not,” she told him. “I’m good. It’s just a virus.”
“Aunt Parker says it’s not a virus. She said you should go to the doctor.” Junie said it with her chin up, a fight to be strong as tears filled her eyes.
“I promise you, I’m okay. I’m going to go home and rest. By tomorrow, I’ll be good as new.” She wiped a tear from Junie’s cheek.
The last thing she wanted was to cause her daughter to worry. Her goal in life had been to give Junie a childhood without fear. A childhood. Period.
Kylie’s own mother had stolen her childhood. Mindy Waters, Kylie’s mom, had loved drugs more than she’d loved her own daughter. She’d loved drugs more than life. Raised by an addict, married to an addict. Kylie shook her head, freeing herself from the past and the pain of her childhood and the pain of watching Mark become a person she’d never expected him to be.
He gave her a long look and then slowly shook his head. “Don’t.” He leaned in and whispered the word close to her ear. “Don’t go there.”
He knew her too well.
“Junie, I’m fine. I promise.” Kylie smiled down at her daughter as she put space between herself and Mark. “Remember, faith, not fear.”
Junie sniffled, but she nodded. “Faith, not fear.”
“Let me drive the two of you home,” Mark offered.
She started to object, but it didn’t seem to be the right time for obstinance. If she were being honest, she didn’t know if she could drive herself. “I’d appreciate the ride.”
A few minutes and he had the lights off, had reset her thermostat and had grabbed her purse from under the counter. Junie followed him, giving him instructions on each thing he needed to do. Kylie couldn’t help but smile as she watched the two of them.
As much as she didn’t want Mark in her life, he needed to be in his daughter’s life.
He finished all the details of closing up and returned to the table where he’d insisted she take a seat.
“Ready to go?” He reached for her hand and drew her to her feet.
“More than ready,” she admitted. The pain had grown sharper, and she nearly doubled over as she stood.
“Maybe we should bypass the house and go to the emergency room?” he suggested, still holding her hand.
“Please just take us home.”
He locked the door behind them and helped her to the faded red-and-white truck parked next to her Jeep. When he opened the door, she stepped back, overwhelmed by “old car” smell. She couldn’t imagine this scent ever being used in a diffuser. It was a combination of age, motor oil and farm.
“I don’t think I can get in there.”
“It isn’t that bad,” he defended.
“The smell.” She put a hand to her mouth. “I’m not trying to be rude. I just, my stomach.”
He looked a little bit hurt, but when Junie wrinkled her nose, he leaned in to check for himself. “I guess it isn’t springtime fresh in there.”
“Could you drive my car? I think it would be easier to get in and definitely more comfortable.”
He grinned, flashing a dimple that matched the one in Junie’s right cheek. “I suppose we’ll just leave ‘old red’ here for now. Hopefully no one takes her.”
“I think she’s safe,” Kylie assured him.
He took the keys she offered and opened the passenger door of her Jeep. Junie climbed in the back and buckled into her booster seat as Kylie eased herself into the front. Mark leaned in to recline the seat, and then he gently eased the seatbelt around her waist. Her heart melted a little, and she had to close her eyes to distance herself from the emotions of having him so near, taking care of her. It felt reminiscent of the night he’d taken her to the hospital to have Junie.
Once upon a time, he’d been her handsome prince. He’d rescued her from a life of poverty and neglect. He’d put her on a pedestal. He’d even built her a castle.
He’d built it all, and then he’d broken her heart and left her empty. No, that wasn’t true. He’d given her the best thing of all. He’d given her Junie. She would always have the best of him in their daughter.
A moment later, they were speeding through town in the direction of her new home. The house, formerly the Duncan place, had belonged to the lawyer in town. When she’d watched him with his family, she’d always wondered what it would be like to live in their two-story brick home with two parents and with children who always seemed happy and loved. His youngest daughter had even resembled Kylie, strengthening her childish fantasy.
A fantasy about a family that really had been hers, only they hadn’t known she existed. She’d been the secret he kept with her mother.
Now she owned the house she’d never been allowed to enter. She’d thought to feel a sense of victory. Instead, she’d found peace and she’d let go of the anger she’d always felt for them.
Mark pulled into the drive, and she reached to push the button for the garage. “I’m sorry we left your truck. You can take my car for the night.”
“I’m not crazy about leaving you alone.”
“I’ll be fine. If I need anything, I can call Parker.”
He parked and took the keys from the ignition. “You can also call me.”
She didn’t have the strength to argue. Instead, she pushed her door open and tried to exit her car with some dignity, which didn’t include losing more of her stomach contents on the floor of the garage. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make it out of the car, not without his help.
“I can’t do this,” he said. “I can’t take you inside and leave you. You need the emergency room.”
The announcement made her want to cry. She would have cried if she’d had the energy. She couldn’t even argue with him.
“I know,” she said. “I kept thinking I would get better.”
“Let me help you,” he said with a tender smile. “I know that I’ve done a lot to hurt you, to hurt you both. Trust me to take care of you tonight.”
She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. “I forgive you. You don’t have to earn that forgiveness.”
“I know that. Maybe there is a purpose in my presence here tonight. Maybe, just maybe, God planned for me to be at your shop because He knew you needed me there to help you.”
“Maybe,” she said, letting a few tears slide free.
“I’m going to call Parker,” he told her. “Let’s see what she says.”
Again, she nodded. She had no fight left in her. She couldn’t even turn her head to make sure Junie was okay. As if she knew, Junie reached up and placed her hand on Kylie’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, honey. I promise it’ll be okay.” Kylie patted Junie’s hand.
She closed her eyes and listened as Mark gave Parker a brief rundown of her condition, and then he pushed the speaker icon, as if she needed to hear for herself.
“Mark, take her to the emergency room,” Parker said. “We’ll meet you there.”
“It’s just a virus,” Kylie tried again.
Over the speaker, she heard Parker’s sigh. “I think that argument has been lost.”
“We’ll see you there. And thank you.” Mark ended the call. “Okay?”
She nodded, but words didn’t come. She wanted to tell him thank you. She wanted to say how much it meant that he was there for her. The words wouldn’t come, not because she didn’t want to say them, but because she physically couldn’t get the words out. She felt like the worst kind of sissy as she drew her knees close and curled up in the seat.
A strong hand touched her arm. She raised her gaze to meet his and saw all of the strength of the man she’d always wanted him to be. She didn’t want to need Mark, but his nearness felt familiar and comforting. His strength, the strength of the Mark she’d grown up with, helped her to relax, to take a breath. She wasn’t alone. Junie wouldn’t be alone.
As much as she didn’t want to depend on him, for tonight, she needed to give up control and let him help. Not just for her sake, but also for Junie. It was much easier to let him help when she framed it that way. He was going to be there for Junie.
