Hidden Secrets Between Them
Yazar
Mindy Obenhaus
Okur
16,5K
Bölüm
16
Chapter One
“You have to tell him.”
Standing in the kitchen of the house she’d just signed a six-month lease on, Kirsten Reynolds sighed. “I know, Mom.” It was all she’d thought about since Dr. Olson gave her the good news that, despite their concerns of her being a single mother, she’d convinced them she was the right person to run the urgent care center that would soon open in Hope Crossing, Texas.
As a nurse practitioner, the move was a dream come true. Now she had six months to prove herself worthy. Something that, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t be a problem. But aside from being a single mom who now lived an hour away from her only support system, there was one more issue standing in the way of her success.
Though climbing Mount Everest might be easier than telling Brady James she now resided in his hometown—along with their four-year-old twin sons. The ones he knew nothing about.
“The boys are content playing with the empty boxes.” Her mother looked up from the carton filled with pantry items to gesture toward the living room where giggles echoed off the bare walls. “Call Brady and see if he’s available. If he is, I’ll watch the twins while you go talk with him.”
Kirsten motioned to the wealth of unpacked boxes. “But there’s still so much to do.”
Beside the sink, her mother pulled aluminum foil and plastic wrap containers from a box. “Stop making excuses, Kirsten. The quicker you get this over with, the better.” She set the items on the counter with a little more force than necessary. “You know, if you would have just told Brady when you first learned you were pregnant, you wouldn’t be facing this monumental task now. Brady’s a good man. I have no doubt he would’ve wanted to be involved in the boys’ lives.”
Kirsten withdrew another plate from its bubble wrap and set it atop the small stack on the stone-looking laminate countertop. While there was no denying her late brother’s best friend was an honorable man—“Brady made it very clear he did not want children, Mom. If I would’ve told him, he’d have felt trapped.”
“But the two of you had grown so close.” Her mother pouted. “Anyone could see how much he cared for you.”
Not enough to even discuss the possibility of children.
That had been the deal-breaker in their relationship, so they went their separate ways. A few weeks later, she discovered she was pregnant. Talk about irony.
She’d managed, though. After all, Brady wasn’t the first man she’d loved and lost. Cancer had snatched her father away more than a decade ago, then her brother, Scott, was killed in a military training exercise. The only difference was Brady had chosen to walk away.
Nowadays, the only men Kirsten trusted with her heart were the two rambunctious boys enjoying the maze of empty boxes in the other room. Jeremy and Trevor had brought some much-needed sunshine back into her life. And they were the spitting image of their father—thick dark brown hair and ocean-blue eyes. Which was why she’d done away with her personal social media accounts right after they were born.
Yet she’d just moved them to the same small town Brady called home. What had she been thinking?
That heading up your own clinic in a rural area was exactly the opportunity you’d been hoping for.
Not to mention that, despite her determination not to force the boys on Brady, a part of her hoped he might be open to a relationship with them. Her own father had been the sun of her solar system. Now that Jeremy and Trevor were getting older, Kirsten wanted them to have a man they could look up to. Mom’s new husband, Kevin, was great about playing with the boys, but that wasn’t the same as having a father. Someone who’d teach them those things Kirsten knew so little about. Like how to play baseball and football. How to catch a fish and change the oil in their cars. Not that she was ready to think about the twins driving anytime soon.
Reaching for another plate, she sighed. Five years was a long time. What if Brady had married or was in a relationship?
You’re never going to know just standing here.
“Kirsten?”
She jumped. “You’re right, Mom.” She set the still-wrapped plate aside. “I’m going to go make that call right now.” Pushing up her sleeves, she picked her way through the dining portion of the kitchen, maneuvering around boxes until she reached the point where the kitchen, living room and hallway converged. She veered toward the hallway.
“Mama, look.”
At Jeremy’s voice, she turned.
He stood by himself in the middle of the cluttered living space that had grayish-brown vinyl plank floors, neutral walls and a painted fireplace on the far end.
“Where’s your brother?” She started toward him, noticing the closed flaps fluttering on one of the boxes.
“Roar!” Trevor jumped out of the box, fingers held up like claws, his menacing look rapidly morphing into a smile.
Both boys belly-laughed when she squealed and pressed a hand to her chest in mock terror.
“Did we scare you?” Jeremy’s hopeful blue eyes peered up at her.
“You sure did.” She moved closer and leaned toward them. “Maybe you can get Nana, too.”
The twins shared a conspiratorial look, then nodded as she continued to her bedroom at the end of the hall.
She moved past the queen-size bed, which had been set up but still awaited bedding, to stand beside the window overlooking the backyard. The mid-January grass lay dormant with only the occasional speck of green. And while the yard was a manageable size, it butted up to an enclosed pasture that made it look even bigger. Something that had played a role in her decision to rent the three-bedroom, two bath, ’70s ranch-style house outside of Hope Crossing proper. Jeremy and Trevor needed room to run and expend energy.
Retrieving her phone from the back pocket of her jeans, she went to her contacts and scrolled until she found Brady’s name. What did one say to someone they hadn’t spoken to in over five years? Someone who had no idea he’d fathered two beautiful boys.
Her chest squeezed, but she dialed before she could talk herself out of it. After three rings, she was ready to hang up. Then—
“Hello? Kirsten?” His voice, her name on his lips, was as inviting as a cozy cabin with a roaring fire on a cold winter’s night.
She sucked in a breath. “Hello, Brady.”
“Wow. It’s been a while. How are you?”
“I’m good. Actually, I’m in Hope Crossing. I was hoping we could talk. In person.”
His lengthy pause had her pulse quickening.
“Um, sure. Though, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s really no place to meet in town. No coffee shops or burger joints around here.”
Eyeing a large, barren crepe myrtle with peeling bark outside the window, she said, “I can come to you, if you’d like?”
“Okay. Sure. I just got home from work.”
“Would now be all right?”
“Yeah—are you okay, Kirsten?”
“Yes. I just have a lot to tell you. What is your address?”
Minutes later, she was kissing Jeremy and Trevor goodbye with promises their grandmother would fix them chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for dinner. Then she exited the house and made her way through the cool early evening air to hop into her SUV parked in the two-car drive. She punched Brady’s address into her navigation app.
“Arrival time three minutes?” That couldn’t be right. Nonetheless, she pulled out of the driveway.
The sun was nearing the horizon, sending shades of gold and orange across the western sky as she headed a few hundred feet in that direction before turning right onto a dirt road. Less than a quarter mile later, she was informed she’d reached her destination.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She eased up the gravel drive as the front door opened and a dog trotted out of the charming two-story white farmhouse, followed by Brady. Yet, while the canine continued down the steps, tail wagging, Brady remained on the porch that spanned the breadth of the house. And he remained there, watching as Kirsten parked and exited her vehicle.
At least the yellow lab seemed eager to greet her.
She held out a fist. “Hello, there.”
The dog sniffed, tail continuing its back-and-forth movement, before licking her hand in approval. If only things could be that easy with Brady.
As the dog retreated toward the house, the flurry of emotions churning in Kirsten’s belly had her second-guessing the sudden impulse to free herself of the secret she’d held onto for far too long.
God, I need Your help. I’ve ignored Your gentle nudges long enough. I don’t want anything from Brady, You know that. But if he could, please, not hate me, and, maybe, want to be a part of his sons’ lives.
With a deep breath, she started in the direction of the man wearing faded jeans and a long-sleeved red pullover, looking every bit as hesitant as she felt. Yet, despite her anxiety, Kirsten found herself smiling as she climbed the handful of steps onto the wooden porch, bringing her even closer to the handsome man she was reminded of every time she looked into the faces of her boys.
“Hi,” was all she could manage.
“Hi, yourself.” Though the corners of his mouth inched upward, his gaze remained wary.
The dog continued to wag its tail before sitting at Brady’s booted feet.
“You look great.” He rubbed the dog’s almost-white head. Was it possible he was as nervous as Kirsten?
She buried her chilled hands in the pockets of her cardigan. “Thank you. You, too.” Funny, she’d never been uncomfortable around Brady before. But then, it wasn’t like they were two old friends looking to catch up. He’d trampled her heart. And now she was about to drop a proverbial bombshell.
“I, uh, I’m sure you’re wondering why I wanted to see you after all this time. Not to mention what I’m doing in Hope Crossing.”
He nodded, his blue eyes riveted to hers. “Just a little.”
A chilly breeze had her hugging herself.
As if realizing they were still outside, Brady looked away. “Let’s go inside where it’s warm.” After allowing the dog to enter first, he led Kirsten into a cozy living room with wood floors, a rustic brick fireplace and a chocolate-brown leather sofa with a matching recliner.
“Nice place.”
“Thanks. It’s a work in progress.”
A wet nose touched her hand.
“I’m sorry.” She rubbed the canine’s head. “I didn’t mean to ignore you.”
“That’s Daisy.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Daisy.” Kirsten’s gaze drifted to the glass coffee table laden with what appeared to be signs. More Service. Less Politics. Brady James for Sheriff.
She straightened, her gaze darting to his, her insides tangling. “You’re running for sheriff?”
“Yeah.” Hands in his pockets, he shrugged. “The primary is in May. Some of us aren’t real pleased with the fella who took over after Dad retired, so it seemed like the right time for me to step up.”
Not when you hear what I’m about to tell you.
While he nonchalantly rocked back on his heels, her mission had just become even more difficult. “So, what was it you wanted to talk about?”
Clearing her throat, she clasped her hands. “There’s a new urgent care center that will be opening soon in Hope Crossing.”
“I saw that. Folks are looking forward to not having to make a lengthy drive to find out if they have the flu or just a cold.”
“That’s good to hear, because I’ll be running the center. Which means I now live here in Hope Crossing. Actually, we just moved into our rental house today.” She pressed her lips together, willing herself to stop rambling.
“We?” He continued to stare at her.
“Me and my sons.”
His eyes widened the way the twins’ did whenever they were surprised. “You have kids?”
“Twins.”
“Congratulations.” His smile was sincere. “You and your husband must be very proud.”
She petted Daisy again. “I...never married.”
Brady rubbed the back of his neck. “Wow. That’s rough. I’m sorry, Kirsten. I’m sure Scott would’ve had a few choice words for that fella.”
“Oh, don’t be too hard on him. I never told him I was pregnant.”
Confusion lined Brady’s forehead. “Why not?”
“Because he didn’t want children.”
“So you’re raising twin boys by yourself. How old are they?”
“Four-and-a-half.” Tired of beating around the bush, she heaved a sigh. “Brady, you’re their father.”
Brady stumbled backward and dropped onto the sofa, his heart beating so fast he thought his chest might explode. Kirsten’s last statement had packed more punch than any physical blow. It meant his worst nightmare had become a reality.
Elbows on his knees, he lowered his head to his hands, recalling the night that had haunted him for five years. One that had left him with a multitude of regrets. He had no reason to doubt Kirsten. She wasn’t the type to make false accusations. The only thing he couldn’t understand was—
“How come you never told me?” His energy suddenly sapped, he peered up at her, realizing she’d cut her hair. The brown waves with hints of cinnamon that once tumbled down her back now barely brushed her shoulders.
Arms crossed, she stared down at him. “Because you’d made it clear you did not want children. It’s why we stopped seeing each other, remember?”
He remembered, all right. Because any child of his would’ve faced a life of uncertainty, wondering when the disease he feared would make itself known and begin waging war on their body and mind the way it had his mother. But Kirsten didn’t know that because he’d been too embarrassed to tell her.
“Look, Brady, I don’t expect anything from you.” She sighed, lowering her arms. “I know you’ve moved on with your life and I have no intention of interfering. I’m only telling you so you won’t be blindsided if or when you see the boys. And now that I’ve told you, I’ll go.”
When she turned to leave, he sprang to his feet, startling Daisy. “That’s it?” He caught hold of Kirsten’s elbow and stepped in front of her. “You tell me I have twin sons and then expect me to carry on as though nothing has changed?” Dropping his hand, he continued to stare at her. “Do you really think I can do that?”
Those big hazel eyes he’d gotten lost in more times than he could count studied him for a moment, while her arms again crisscrossed over her chest like a shield. “I honestly don’t know what to think, Brady. I thought I knew you so well. Until you quite emphatically told me you didn’t want children.”
How he wished he’d been man enough to tell her why. But back then, all he could think about was that he had to end their relationship. Once he’d been discharged from the military, things had quickly grown serious between them. Kirsten made him long for things he hadn’t dared consider before. If he hadn’t stepped away when he had, he never would’ve been able to. And he cared too much for Kirsten to burden her with the heartbreak of watching him deteriorate into a shell of himself, the way he and his father had his mother.
Huntington’s was a cruel disease that didn’t impact only the person who had it; it affected their entire family. And he wasn’t about to put Kirsten or anyone else he cared about through that.
Yet, he’d fathered two sons. What if he’d passed the gene on to them?
A heaviness settled in his chest as Daisy whined beside him. He petted the top of her head, wishing this were nothing more than a bad dream. Sometimes reality really stunk.
As the silence stretched on, Kirsten said, “I should go.”
“Wait.” He moved in front of her, yearning to know more about the boys, yet afraid at the same time. “What are their names?”
“Jeremy Scott and Trevor William.”
The significance of those names didn’t escape him and made him smile. William was her late father. And Scott wasn’t just her brother, he’d been the best friend Brady ever had. It was because of Scott that Kirsten and Brady got together in the first place. The first time she’d traveled to Hawaii to visit Scott when he and Brady were stationed at Fort Shafter, Brady found himself looking for excuses to spend time with her. After she left, they texted or talked almost every day. Later, he was at her side at Scott’s funeral, and, once Brady was discharged and had returned to Hope Crossing, he’d made the hour-plus drive to College Station to be with her as often as he could while settling into his job at the sheriff’s department.
“I like that you gave them your brother’s and dad’s names. Gone but not forgotten.”
“Never.”
Curiosity had his mind tripping over itself with questions. Many he probably didn’t have the right to ask. But—“Would you...happen to have a picture of the twins?”
A laugh bubbled out of her. “Are you kidding? I have a phone full of them.” She retrieved it from her back pocket, then tapped and scrolled. “Here’s one from the other day.” She widened the screen with her fingers before handing him the device. “Jeremy’s on the left, Trevor is on the right.”
A lump formed in his throat as he looked at the two identical boys with dark brown hair and blue eyes, each with an arm slung over their brother’s shoulder. Tears blurred his vision. “They—I—” Blinking, he cleared his throat. “They look just like I did at that age.”
“That’s why I had to tell you now. Before you saw them in public.” She darted a finger over the screen to reveal another image. One with goofy faces. Stepping back, she petted Daisy. “You can scroll. It shouldn’t take you more than a couple of days to get through all of them.” She laughed at her own joke, though he recognized her nervousness.
At least he wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable.
He swiped from one picture to the next, smiling, chuckling a few times. Finally, he looked at her, his insides a knotted mass. “How do you tell them apart?”
She shrugged. “It’s kind of instinctive now. I know their personalities. Trevor tends to be more boisterous while Jeremy is more thoughtful—which can be even more dangerous, by the way. You never know what’s going on in that sweet little head of his. But when in doubt, Trevor has a birthmark on his left cheek, just above his jawbone.”
“Ah, insider secret.” Not that he was an insider. On the contrary, he was most definitely an outsider. These were Kirsten’s children. He’d turned his back on her. Closing the door so soundly that she hadn’t even dared tell him about Jeremy and Trevor.
But that didn’t stop the sudden longing in his heart. A longing for something he never knew he wanted.
“Raising one child is hard enough. You have two. How have you managed to care for them?”
“I have a good support system in my mom and stepdad. A job that allows me to afford good childcare.” She lifted one shoulder.
He’d like to think he would’ve helped her, if he had known. What would he have done, though? Would he have married her? Or, at least, had the guts to tell her why he couldn’t?
“I guess moving here means losing that support system.” Struggling to take a deep breath, he handed the phone back to her. “Where will you be living?”
She puffed out a laugh. “Down the road, make a left at the stop sign and we’re on the left.”
“The Hart house?”
“Ranch house that backs up to a pasture?”
“That’s my pasture,” he said with a slow nod. “You’ll see my horses grazing out there.”
“Ooh.” Her brow puckered.
“Problem?”
“The only things my boys love more than horses are dinosaurs. At least dinosaurs are extinct. I’ll need to give Jeremy and Trevor a stern warning about staying on our side of the fence.”
“For their safety, that would be best.” A couple of his rescue horses were still skittish. “Though you’re welcome to bring the boys by anytime. I’d be happy to introduce them.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he wondered why he’d said that. After the way he’d hurt her, Kirsten probably didn’t want her boys anywhere near him.
“I’ll have to think about that.” The way she watched him, though, seemed she was weighing her options. “I need to go.” She started toward the door. “Mom has dinner waiting.”
He followed. “Carol’s here?”
“Just overnight. She runs the office at Kevin’s—my stepdad—water well company, and also helps take care of my grandmother, so she needs to get back.”
“She remarried, huh?”
“Three years ago.”
“I’m sure she’ll miss having you and her grandsons close by.”
Kirsten continued out the door onto the porch with Daisy on her heels. “You and I both know it’s not that far of a drive.”
He sure did. Once upon a time, his truck could’ve made it on autopilot.
After turning the porch lights on, he joined her outside, wishing he could explain why he’d walked away from their relationship. He’d have to eventually. But first he had to come to terms with this new reality. He was a father. And he had no idea how to proceed.
Pausing at the steps, Kirsten buried her hands in the pockets of her sweater. “I meant what I said about not expecting anything from you, Brady. I don’t want money or anything like that.” Her gaze holding his, she lifted her chin a notch. “But I have two little boys who are growing up faster than I ever imagined, and they need a male influence in their lives.” She shrugged. “Who better than their father?”
Their father. He struggled to wrap his brain around the fact.
Before he could respond, she descended the steps.
Daisy started after her.
“Stay, girl.”
The Lab plopped beside him with a whine.
Watching Kirsten get into her vehicle, Brady attempted to process what had just taken place. He was a father. Of twins, no less. And while he supposed it was normal for most parents to fear for their children’s safety, Brady’s fears went beyond scrapes and broken bones.
Kirsten had no idea, though. And she wanted him to be a part of their lives.
Gravel ground beneath tires as her vehicle continued down the drive, red taillights glowing in the darkness, leaving him alone with thoughts of the matching smiles on her phone. Images that would haunt him from now on.
Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he leaned against the post and stared into the night sky. All this time he thought he’d done the right thing by breaking up with Kirsten. Sparing her from the pain of watching him morph into someone she didn’t recognize. Instead, he might have sentenced not only her but her two precious boys to a life of uncertainty. And it was all his fault.
