Bantering With Herself
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SJ Wilke
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On a midnight recon, Officer Banter finds a newborn abandoned in a trash can—and somehow ends up taking the baby home when Social Services won’t. Juggling bottles and diapers while teaching surveillance, Banter draws unwanted attention at the station, where break-ins, missing evidence, and a smear campaign start closing in. With her partner Corey and a few trusted allies, she’ll have to protect the baby—and prove she’s not the one being set up.
Newborn In A Trash Can
Banter grumbled under her breath. Ray promised she wouldn’t be out in the field, especially after Corey had a talk with him. Yet here she was, prowling down an alley doing some reconnaissance.
It was midnight and hot. Even though she was wearing her lighter black hoodie and a thin T-shirt, she was sweltering.
“Stinking garbage. I thought I was done working with garbage.”
There was a heavy stench in the air.
“Just walk through the area. Yeah, Ray. I’m walking. Nothing to see. You think I can magically find everything just because…I can.”
She chuckled to herself. Her recent police work had given her an excellent reputation. “Now, everyone wants me to help.”
She passed a row of garbage cans. None of them had lids on to help block the aroma that rose from them. She was almost clear of them when she heard a noise. Something within her made her stop dead.
Animal, she thought. Kitten? “That’s all I need with two dogs and two kids. A cat.” She turned her head toward the garbage cans, half expecting a kitten to pop out.
There was nothing. She heard nothing more. With a wrinkle of her nose, she turned to leave. She heard another noise before she could even take a step. A soft whimper. A cry? Or the chattering of a rat?
Banter turned back to look again. Still, nothing stood out. She spun on her heels to take two steps toward the cans. They all looked full. One looked overflowing with a bundle that looked like old rags on top of it.
A weird feeling of apprehension flowed through her. Part of her wanted to run, while the other felt the need to investigate. She took a few more steps.
The bundle moved. There was a soft cry. “What the fuck.” Banter moved forward the last few steps in haste.
Barely visible in the bundle was a newborn.
“What are you doing here?” She stopped herself from touching the bundle. “Pictures.” She took pictures of the bundle and the area, then made a call.
“Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?”
“This is Banter.” She gave the code that identified her as an officer. “I have a newborn in a trash can.” She gave the cross streets since she couldn’t see any building numbers.
“We’ll send an ambulance right away. Please stay put so you can direct them.”
“No shit. I’m not leaving.”
She sent a text to Peter, her undercover partner, to let him know what was happening. He was somewhere driving around, waiting to extract her. He replied quickly.
Peter
WTF
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” she muttered.
She moved closer to the alley entrance. It was fifteen minutes before the flashing lights of the ambulance appeared. She was thankful they weren’t using sirens.
She waved them down. The ambulance’s flashing lights turned off when it turned into the alley. She led the way down to the cans.
“Hey, Nick.”
“What did you find, Banter?” Nick got out of the driver’s side.
With all the cross-training of late between disciplines, she now knew most of the EMTs. “Newborn in the trash.”
“Dead or alive?”
“Alive. So far.”
Paul, his partner, got out, and they all converged on the can.
“Definitely a newborn.” Nick put on a pair of disposable gloves and opened the bundle just enough to look.
“A girl. Umbilical cord is still there. Hardly an hour old, I’d say.”
Paul nodded his agreement.
“I took pictures of the area already,” she said.
Paul put on gloves and gently picked up the bundle, supporting the baby’s head with a hand. “Anything else around?”
They all looked through the top layer in the cans and around the area, looking for clues.
“No placenta. She wasn’t born here,” Nick said.
“Come along. You can make your report directly to Social Services,” Paul said.
“Lovely. More paperwork.” She followed Paul to sit in the back of the ambulance.
“What are you doing out here?” Paul settled in the back. “This isn’t a nice neighborhood.”
“Recon duty. This wasn’t what I was expecting to find.”
She sent a text to Peter telling him where she was going and got a quick reply.
Peter
Will follow
“My ride is following.”
“She’s small, but looks full term.” Paul continued to gaze at the baby. “Probably a first for some young teenager. You need to find these young ones fast. Good thing you were around.”
Banter watched Paul, who seemed totally absorbed in the baby.
“Vitals look normal,” he said after a few minutes.
“You can see all that just by looking at her?”
“I counted her breaths. I can see a pulse. She’s not in distress. Her coloring is good. She was wrapped well enough, and it’s warm out.”
“Wow.” It impressed her what he could see just by looking at the baby.
“She just needs to be cleaned up and to have the umbilical cord treated. Then a feeding with colostrum.”
“Now you’ve lost me.”
“First milk has colostrum. Gives her the antibodies needed to build up her immune system.”
The ambulance pulled into the emergency entrance of the nearest hospital.
“Staff will be happy that we’re not bringing them something that’s critical. Especially at this time of the night.”
“A newborn isn’t critical?”
“Not this one. No shakes.”
“Shakes?”
“She’s probably not a drug baby.”
“That’s good to hear.”
The ambulance came to a stop. Paul didn’t move. Banter figured Nick was running around to open the door for them. A moment later, the door opened as she expected.
Banter followed Paul through the emergency entrance. A nurse stood at the counter.
“Newborn…” Paul indicated the bundle.
The conversation between Paul and the nurse went fast with acronyms and terms that Banter wasn’t familiar with. In minutes, they were in an examination room. Paul handed the baby over to the nurse.
“I have another call already. Have a good one, Banter.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
He left in a hurry.
“A representative from Social Services will be here shortly. Are you a relative?” the nurse said.
“What? No, I’m with the police. I found her.”
The nurse looked at her as if she didn’t believe her.
Banter flashed her badge.
A doctor stepped in.
“Abandoned newborn,” the nurse said.
“I’m Banter, a police officer. I found her.”
“Dr. Sam Grove,” he said as an introduction. “Let’s have a look.”
Banter watched while they examined the baby. Once outside of her wrapping, the baby found her lungs and screamed. Banter liked her better when she was quiet.
The doctor removed the wrappings to put them into a plastic bag as evidence. He took a few swabs of blood from the umbilical cord before treating it.
They thoroughly wiped the baby down, put her into a diaper, and wrapped her in a hospital baby blanket.
“Here, hold her a moment.”
Banter wanted to protest, but the nurse placed the baby in her arms before she could utter a sound.
The nurse cleaned up and wiped down the examination table. Banter had the image of a waitress who was in a hurry to bus the table for the next customers.
The baby, however, was still crying, but not so loudly.
“You’re warm and clothed. You should be quiet now.” Banter had no hope of quieting the baby.
However, the baby shifted to a soft whimper, which surprised her that her voice could evoke such a response.
“We’ll get a bottle for her. We have a reserve of breast milk, but it’s frozen. It will take a few minutes to warm it up.”
The nurse left.
Banter found herself alone with the baby. She fingered the fine brown hair that was very much like her own.
Another nurse stepped in. “Can you wait out here? We need the room.”
Banter stepped out into a packed waiting area. Peter was there. He fit right in with his long hair and ragged jeans.
“What do we have?” He looked expectantly at the baby.
“Girl.”
“She looks just like you.”
Banter almost broke out laughing. “Yeah. Like garbage.”
“What are we waiting for?”
“Social Services and a bottle.”
“Let’s sit over here.”
Peter found them a spot out of the way. Most of the patients waiting for a doctor looked like drunks who had either gotten beaten up or were ill from something they drank.
“Not the best place to be on your birthday.” He looked around.
“No. I can’t imagine anyone doing this. There are so many agencies that people can work with.” Banter shook her head.
“Unfortunately, if you’re an affluent teen, you’ve probably never heard of or dealt with any of these agencies.”
A man rose. He caught Banter’s attention because his head was bleeding. A nurse led him into the exam room she had just vacated.
“Shit,” Peter said. “I know of poor teens who don’t know of these agencies.”
The baby seemed to settle and was quiet.
“I wish they’d hurry. We can end our evening.” Banter felt impatient.
“Did you see anything suspicious in the alley?”
“Yeah, a baby.”
He laughed. “Other than the baby.”
“Overflowing garbage cans. I’m looking forward to what Ray says when he reads my report.”
It was twenty minutes before a nurse came over with a bottle. Banter expected her to take the baby, but she didn’t. She handed her the bottle and walked away.
“What the? What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Feed the baby,” he said.
“But…but aren’t you supposed to check that it’s warm enough?”
“Just put the nipple in her mouth. She knows what to do.”
“She was just born.”
“Nipple. In the mouth,” he said.
Banter put the nipple to the baby’s lips. A drip came out. The baby responded by moving her lips. The nipple seemed to get sucked into the baby’s mouth.
“She sucks.” He laughed.
“Damn.”
Banter watched the milk disappear. “Going. Going. Gone.”
“I said she sucks. A gun-for-hire taking care of a baby. What next?” He shook his head.
“You tell me.”
She watched two more people go into exam rooms. “Where is Social Services? Are they sleeping in?”
“They have a twenty-four-hour hotline. Someone will be here.”
“You sound pretty knowledgeable about this.”
“I’ve worked with runaways.”
“I don’t want to wait here all night. I’m teaching a class in the morning.” She was feeling uneasy while holding the baby. It was an odd sensation to be holding something warm that moved.
