Fit for Fire Book 2

“Welcome to the rogue rebellion.”

Brenden’s words hung in the air. It felt like hours had passed, but it had only been a few minutes. His hand was on my cheek, his rough thumb gently stroking my skin.

I was staring into his eyes, trying to understand the man before me. My mouth was dry, my tears had dried up, and my throat ached from screaming.

Thoughts raced through my mind, spinning in circles, relentless.

A sinking feeling told me that Brenden hadn’t set me free, but instead, had pulled me into a bigger mess I wanted no part of.

I didn’t know much about the rebellion, but from what I’d heard, joining it would lead me further away from my dreams. What would happen if I was caught?

I wasn’t sure, but I knew it wouldn’t bring me closer to my ultimate goal.

What was that again? Going back to my solitary life? Being a slave to my secret identity? Finding a place where I could be myself, on my own terms? Starting a family, finding a mate?

Zach’s goofy smile flashed in my mind. His insistence that he knew where I belonged, what was best for me, created potholes in my path of rational thought.

A sharp pain shot through my shoulder blade, piercing my heart. I gasped, blinking and gritting my teeth.

I needed to go back. Back to a place I could call home. “L-let me out,” I stammered.

Brenden had been watching me as closely as I was watching him. “Shhh, breathe, Ade,” he soothed, his eyes filled with worry. His touch was electric, and my wolf was confused.

This was my mate, but what about Zach? I had agreed to let him mark me.

She wanted to be marked. She needed to feel complete.

The promises that used to well up from deep within me, the whispers of fulfillment, were dragged out from the dark corners where I had hidden them.

Now exposed, the whispers had turned into a deafening roar. Raw thoughts and emotions left me feeling exposed. I clutched my chest as I was battered from within.

“I have to go back,” I whispered, gasping for breath.

Brenden’s touch was gentle, but his green eyes hardened. He pulled me close, tugged down my blanket, and ripped the collar from my left shoulder.

His gaze moved from my shoulder to my collarbone, finally resting on my birthmark. He pushed me against his chest and kissed the mark. My body trembled, and a moan slipped from my lips.

I should have been embarrassed by this intimacy, especially in a crowded van, but I wasn’t. His lips on my collarbone quieted the roar to a whimper, and a primal urge had me threading my fingers through his copper hair.

I tugged lightly, wanting more, and he moaned against my skin. His warm breath made my back arch. His lips parted, his teeth grazed my skin, and a wave of desire washed over me.

I wanted him to bite down more than I’d ever wanted anything.

I could feel his desire for me, his raw need for my body and everything it offered. His desire fueled my own.

A possessive beast growled in the back of my mind, telling me I belonged to him. I had a feeling that the beast was his.

Our breathing was ragged, and I whimpered when his lips covered his teeth and he pulled away with a kiss.

His touch was both soothing and terrifying.

Was this the bond? How could I be reacting so strongly to someone I barely knew? Why now? I was wildly attracted to Zach, but shouldn’t I have felt this before?

The lifeless eyes of the rabbit stared back at me from the depths of my subconscious. Had I unlocked something? Had my wolf finally broken free from the chains I had placed on her?

When he pulled away, my heart raced and my body began to shake. Waves of uncertainty crashed over me, beating me down into the dark depths of my mind.

His eyes met mine, reflecting the pain I was feeling. He nestled his head back into the crook of my neck, and the storm subsided.

Tears, the remnants of the waves, trickled down my cheek. Their saltiness stung my dry lips.

“What did he do to you?” Brenden whispered, holding me tighter.

“Nothing. I…I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I replied, resting my head on his shoulder.

He lifted me so I was straddling him. His fingertips traced slow paths up and down my back, his nails leaving trails of pleasure.

“You have to take me back,” I said again.

“Why would you want to go back there?” he asked, his hand stilling on my back.

“I know what will happen to me if I stay there. I don’t know you, I don’t know what you want, just take me back,” I said, closing my eyes.

I straightened, placing my hands on his chest and pushing away. I needed to regain control of myself, of this situation. But the further I moved from Brenden, the tighter my chest felt.

I shuddered as I leaned away from him.

“You can trust me,” Brenden said softly, his hands still circling my waist.

“You took me,” I countered.

“Yeah, I did, but it works out better this way.” He smiled.

My eyebrows shot up as he pulled me closer.

“Better?” I asked.

“Yeah, this way it doesn’t look like you ran off to join the rebellion. If they ever find you again, your name will be clean,” he replied.

I closed my eyes, gripping Brenden’s shirt tightly. “This is going to make everything worse, I need—” My breath hitched and my hands started shaking.

“You’re going to be okay,” he reassured me, pressing his forehead against mine as I struggled to breathe.

Even as he said it, my body rejected the idea. I felt so out of control. Nothing was certain, not even the next rise and fall of my chest.

“She’s having withdrawals,” the woman across from us said, her gaze still fixed on the window. Brenden’s hands tightened on my shirt and he growled.

“Withdrawals?” I choked out, turning to look at her.

Her eyes scanned my reflection, and I saw her grimace before she turned to face me. She nodded, pushing her black, chin-length hair behind her ears.

“Yes, it’s like your wolf is having a panic attack out of fear of leaving your mate. She craves his presence, she’s scared,” she explained.

“But why do I…” My face flushed as I tried to find the right words.

“Brenden is your mate too, right? His presence is calming you down because your wolf is searching for security,” she said, answering the question I hadn’t quite asked.

I shook my head vehemently. “I’m not having withdrawals.”

She gave me a sad smile.

“How would you know?” I snapped at her, hating the pity in her eyes.

“Because I’ve been through the same thing.” She shrugged.

“Are you sure?” Brenden asked.

“Move away from her,” she suggested.

Growling, Brenden pulled away from me. Suddenly, I felt cold without him. His eyes hardened with pain and anger as I began to shake and hyperventilate.

Unable to meet his gaze, I looked away. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed, confused. Why was I apologizing to him? I didn’t know.

“No, don’t you dare do that.” He seethed, pulling me back into his chest and pressing his lips to my birthmark.

My body instantly calmed.

“How?” I managed to ask the woman, sucking in a frantic breath.

“My mate was also an alpha. He hunted me down and when I kept escaping, he locked me in his basement and began using wolfsbane to dull my wolf. He would come down to sleep with me every night to strengthen the bond.

“When I was finally freed, I couldn’t sleep without him. I had withdrawals for months,” she explained, her eyes focused on the muddy floor of the van.

“I am so sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be,” she said, looking down at her hands. She didn’t want my pity.

“Zach never hurt me, this can’t be the same thing,” I told her. Her experience wasn’t mine, and she had to know that. She had to know that Zach wasn’t as bad as her mate.

“It is, I know that look,” she said, reaching out to squeeze my arm.

“He didn’t hurt me,” I repeated.

“He didn’t have to,” she replied, moving back into her seat.

My heart rate picked up as hurt, fear, and confusion overwhelmed me. “I just need to go back,” I gasped.

Brenden held me tighter, as if he was afraid I’d disappear from his lap.

“I know you’re scared, but you need to think about what you left. He took you from your home, Ade. He was forcing you to stay with him,” he whispered against my forehead.

He had announced to his pack that I was his mate before I had accepted him as such. He admitted that he could give me space, but he could never fully grant me freedom.

It was toxic, it was wrong. Love shouldn’t work like that. Yet, he never tried to hurt me. He had protected me. He never forced himself on me, and he genuinely tried to make me happy.

Being nice didn’t make what he did okay though. Zach had done a lot of wrong, but still, I couldn’t bring myself to think of him as a bad person.

Was that the bond talking, or was it the knowledge that fate had placed us both in a messed up situation? We were both caught up, trying to do what we felt was right with the hand that life had dealt us.

Is that what I wanted to return to?

“You’ve also taken me,” I reminded him, feeling like a broken record.

“I didn’t want it to go that way. I wanted to talk to you, I wanted you to choose to come with me, but those wolves showed up and we ran out of time.

“As I said before, this works out better for you,” he said, loosening his grip on my waist.

His words didn’t calm my panic. “You don’t understand,” I insisted.

Brenden sighed. “No, you don’t understand, Ade. You’ve been there with him for a month. That whole time your bond has been growing,” he replied.

I groaned my frustration into his chest. “Why does this have to be about the bond?” I asked.

He pulled away from me in response and watched as I trembled.

Having made his point, he wrapped his arms back around me, and the shaking subsided. The pained expression on his face and the way his hands tightened on my waist betrayed him.

“Why would you want to go back?” he asked.

His eyes met mine as I tried to put my feelings into words. When a minute passed and I hadn’t answered, he rephrased his question.

“Ade, you couldn’t even leave his house without a guard. What made you stay?” he asked, his chest rising and falling rapidly, taking me with him as we rode out his emotions.

“I had nothing. Nowhere to go, no money to use. I figured if I could get them to trust me, they’d see I wasn’t a threat and they’d let me go home,” I answered.

“Ade, he wouldn’t have just let you walk away. Not without leaving his mark on you first. Not without making sure you were tied to him. You must’ve known that.”

He pulled back, his eyes searching my face for some sign of understanding. A wave of shame washed over me. I did know that.

“I had it all under control,” I insisted, my fists balled up tight.

“Controlled enough to let him mark you tomorrow night?” he half-shouted, his hands gently shaking my shoulders.

“Yes,” I replied, trying to keep my gaze steady on his even as I trembled.

“Why? Why would you agree to that?” he asked, his eyes scanning my face.

I saw a fear in his eyes that felt all too familiar. It was the same fear Zach had when he thought I might choose to leave with Brenden.

“I suggested it. Of course, I would agree,” I responded.

A wave of hurt and shock washed over his face before he quickly hid it behind a deep, calming breath.

“Why, Ade?” he asked, his eyes closed and his head bowed, bracing himself for an answer he didn’t want to hear. My hand instinctively rose to his cheek, wanting to soothe his pain.

“Because it was bound to happen, and I was exhausted. I didn’t want to fight the bond anymore. I knew once I accepted his mark, I could start to move on and find happiness with him,” I explained.

His head lifted to look at me, his eyes flickering between green and gold.

“And because it would save you. I knew he wouldn’t let you go unless he was sure he wouldn’t lose me. I thought I owed you your freedom.

“Since I was going to be marked someday anyway, I thought I might as well make it count for something,” I added.

“I was never in danger. You don’t think I could’ve taken down your alpha if I wanted to? Don’t ever sacrifice yourself for me again,” he said, puffing out his chest in anger.

My trembling intensified as I brought my hands up to rub my temples. Brenden pulled me into his arms again, trying to soothe the tremors shaking my body.

“Did you love him?” the woman asked, her head tilting to the side curiously.

“Love him? I don’t know. I guess—part of me—did. I was starting to,” I admitted, surprised by my own honesty. My hand instinctively went to my chest. I’d never voiced that out loud before.

Brenden looked down, and I clung to his shoulders like a lifeline in a stormy sea. I was scared of his reaction to my confession, even though I knew he had no right to be upset with me.

He had left me alone. He couldn’t be angry if I started to develop feelings for someone else.

I closed my eyes, trying to suppress the tremors that were still shaking me. I probably looked like a recovering drug addict to these people. Or like a kidnap victim suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

“If he never hurt you and you were falling in love with him, then what are you so afraid of?” the woman asked.

“I’ve just been dragged into a van by a bunch of masked...strangers.” I stopped myself from saying ‘men’ because of her. “Why wouldn’t I be scared?” I retorted.

She laughed and shook her head. “Well yeah, that wasn’t the rescue we planned. What I meant was—” She paused and chewed her lip.

“When I was going through withdrawals, a friend told me that to overcome them, I needed to figure out what I thought I couldn’t live without my mate. That I needed to face my fear and realize it was irrational.

“What are you afraid of, Adeline?” she asked me.

My heart froze in my chest. I swallowed hard as my eyes filled with tears. Words crowded at the tip of my tongue, ready to be spoken. Words that weren’t just mine, but ours. My wolf wanted to speak.

That primal, simple part of me that I often suppressed had something to say.

Taking a deep breath, I let go of the illusion of control I thought I had. I embraced this part of me instead of fearing it, and in return, I didn’t feel scared or repressed.

I felt like I was finally in tune with myself. I felt like I had been functioning with one hand tied behind my back and now I was free to use both.

“I’m afraid that if I go back to him now, he’ll never trust me enough to let me make my own decisions. I’m scared that without him, without my chance at being part of a pack, I’ll never be able to be my true self around anyone.

“That I’ll spend the rest of my life alone, hiding and pretending to be something I’m not,” I confessed.

“That’s it, Adeline,” the woman said firmly. “That’s what you need to overcome.”

I nodded, realizing I didn’t even know her name. I wasn’t sure about everything she said, but she was trying to help.

“Thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t ask earlier, but what’s your name?” I asked.

“It’s Gabriella, but you can call me Gabby.” She smiled and reached out to shake my hand.

The man in the front passenger seat laughed as we shook hands. “It’s Gabby because she never stops talking.”

Gabby leaned forward and swatted the back of the man’s head, and he laughed while dodging another hit.

That’s when I remembered where I was and who was listening. I buried my face in Brenden’s chest, hoping no one noticed the hot flush spreading across my cheeks.

I had just bared my soul to a van full of strangers. I was sure Brenden was just as embarrassed as I was. Everyone must be feeling sorry for him.

The thought that he might be angry made me feel even worse. How could I mean anything to him in this state?

Why did I care so much?

“I’m sorry, this must be embarrassing,” I whispered, looking into his eyes.

He shook his head and cupped my face. “No, Ade, I’m the one who should be sorry.”

I could feel his regret radiating through me like a beacon in a storm.

“You don’t need him or a pack to have all that. I’m to blame for leaving you alone,” he confessed, his gaze dropping to my lips.

He rested his forehead against mine, and we stayed like that for a moment. I was struck by our shared pain. Why was I feeling this now when I hadn’t before?

There was no denying it: I had set something free, and our bond had grown stronger because of it. It had to be the reason. Why else would I be sitting on the lap of a man I barely knew?

When we pulled apart, I rested my head on his shoulder. I yawned, and he adjusted his position in the seat, leaning back so I could lie against him.

I had a ton of questions for him, but I didn’t want to ask them here, in this setting.

I needed to sort out my thoughts first, then question him when we were alone. I needed to fully grasp what he expected from me. Had I just walked into another trap? Another situation I’d be forced into?

I needed to figure out where we stood before I could decide my next move. I yawned again, and this time, I had to force my eyes open.

A soft rumble beneath me signaled that Brenden had drifted off to sleep. Turning my head to look out the window, I watched raindrops race down the glass.

It was calming to watch the droplets carve their way down the smooth surface. Some vague metaphor about life and freedom crossed my mind, but before I could fully grasp it, my eyes closed.

I slipped into unconsciousness, and all the profound insights I thought I’d grasped slipped away with me.