An Amish Christmas Baby
Autor:in
Leigh Bale
Gelesen
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Kapitel
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Chapter One
A white haze of clouds filled the bleak afternoon sky. Misting rain sprinkled the black asphalt of the parking lot. The late October weather had been mild...up until today. Stepping out onto the front steps of the small cinder block hospital in Riverton, Colorado, Lovina Albrecht wished she’d worn her rubber boots instead of her plain black shoes. Just now, her feet felt cold and damp. A chilly breeze rushed past and she shivered, catching the tangy aroma of damp earth and sage. No doubt the storm would increase and she was eager to get home before it struck.
Hunching her shoulders beneath the overhanging portico, she watched as an Englisch woman opened an umbrella and scurried toward her from the sidewalk. Lovina stepped aside to give the stranger room to pass and smiled before shyly ducking her head as the lady went inside. Lifting her face, Lovina breathed in deep, grateful for the rain. In this area, the farmers lived in a constant state of drought. They’d take any moisture they could get and consider it a blessing for their crops.
The intensity of the storm strengthened. Maybe Lovina should go back inside. But no. She’d rather wait here where she could be alone to think. Tucking an errant strand of golden hair beneath her black traveling bonnet, she readjusted the weight of her heavy bag on her arm and exhaled a sigh of relief. She’d accomplished her mission today: safely delivering Norma Albrecht and her unborn baby to where they could receive proper medical care.
As an Amish woman, Lovina had worked hard to become a certified professional midwife. Thankfully, her Ordnung was progressive enough to see the benefit of having a CPM in their community. Since legal authorities across the nation were prosecuting Amish midwives for practicing without a license, Lovina felt especially grateful. Even still, she only took on low-risk clients and was extra vigilant of them and their baby’s needs. If any mother exhibited symptoms of distress, Lovina immediately referred them and their unborn child to the hospital in town. Which left Lovina no choice but to bring Norma here where one of the two medical doctors could help her.
The automatic double doors to the front entrance whooshed open and Jonah Lapp joined her. He looked like every other Amish man in the area with gray broadfall pants, black suspenders and scuffed work boots. Tufts of sand-colored hair peeked out from beneath the brim of his black felt hat. And yet Lovina could never consider him plain. Not with his long forehead, high cheekbones, blunt chin and deep brown eyes that always seemed to smolder with quiet intelligence. From what she’d observed over the past four years since he’d moved here, Jonah was a good man and dedicated to his elderly grandfather and Amish faith. His clean-shaven face attested that he was unmarried but that didn’t matter to Lovina. She wasn’t interested in him or any man. Not with the many skeletons she had clustered in her closet.
As Jonah tugged at the collar of his blue chambray shirt, he glanced out at the dismal day and quickly shrugged into his warm winter coat. “Brr, it’s cold. Darrin just arrived and is with Norma. I think we can go heemet now.”
Yes, she wanted to go home, too. He spoke in Deitsch, the German dialect their Amish people used among themselves.
“Ja, I saw him a few minutes ago. He can help make decisions for Norma and the boppli’s care. I’ll check on Norma tomorrow,” she said.
Stepping out into the rain, Lovina held the handrail as she negotiated the slick steps. The temperature had dropped and the wind picked up, slashing against her lavender skirts and spitting a fine mist of grit into her face.
Jonah followed. He worked part-time for the hospital as a certified EMT. Because they believed higher learning led to Hochmut, the pride of men, the Amish only went to school through the eighth grade. Like Lovina, Jonah felt fortunate to have his EMT credential, too.
“You don’t have any errands to run in town, do you?” Jonah asked.
“Ne, I’m ready to go.”
“Gut. If we leave for heemet now, we should be able to beat the storm before it gets worse,” Jonah said.
Lovina hoped so. She hated the thought of being caught on the county road with a horse and buggy while rain slashed against their windshield. She didn’t mind the inclement weather but it could diminish their visibility, and it wasn’t safe with Englisch cars zipping past them like rockets.
Lovina and her familye had originated from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, and had moved to Colorado when she was fifteen. They got lots of snow in Pennsylvania, but Colorado was colder, with a much shorter growing season. The farmers here depended on the moisture to produce their crops.
“I was hoping to repair the fence in the south pasture but doubt I’ll get to it today.” Jonah glanced up, blinking as droplets of rain spiked his long eyelashes.
In addition to being an EMT, he also owned the small farm where Lovina lived. She’d rented his farmhouse almost three months earlier. Because they both were single and didn’t want the appearance of impropriety, Jonah lived with his grandfather out back in the dawdi haus, a small four-room house they’d built for his grandpa’s use. A dawdi haus was the Amish version of a retirement home. Bishop Yoder, the leader of their congregation, had made the arrangements. Jonah needed the extra income from Lovina’s rent and she needed a quiet place to live and serve her expectant mothers. Since Lovina’s mom had died several years earlier, it was a vast improvement over renting a room from various members of her Gmay, her Amish community. Now that Lovina occupied Jonah’s entire house, she’d set up a nursery and bedroom just for her clients. Her midwife business had flourished and she felt like she had a real home for the first time in years. But that could end the moment Jonah decided to marry. Yet he didn’t seem eager to wed. Not since his broken engagement with Fannie Fisher eight months earlier.
“Do you think the storm will be a hard one?” Lovina ducked her head as they headed down the sidewalk.
“I hope so. We need the moisture,” he said.
Without her asking, Jonah took hold of her elbow in a solicitous gesture meant to steady her on the slippery path. His fingers felt warm and firm through the fabric of her winter shawl but Lovina couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable with his touch. He was a handsome man. There was no getting around it. And though she longed to encourage him, he was a cloying reminder of what she could never have: a husband and familye of her own.
The intensity of the storm increased and they hurried across the parking lot. Jonah’s horse and buggy were tethered on the far side where the town had set up a covered hitching post just for the Amish to use.
“Do you know who that is?” Jonah asked, jutting his chin toward a parked car.
Lovina looked up, her gaze taking in a silver vehicle through the haze of the storm. A young Englisch woman of perhaps eighteen years stood out in the drizzling rain, leaning against the car’s front fender. She wore blue jeans, navy tennis shoes and a yellow slicker. Her shoulder-length blond hair was damp and hung around her shoulders in sodden strands. At first sight of them, she braced away from the car and stared openly.
“Ne, I don’t know her,” Lovina spoke in a quiet voice.
Jonah glanced toward the Englisch girl and shook his head. “Me either.”
“Ach, she seems highly interested in us.” Lovina forced herself not to stare back as she skirted a puddle of water.
She couldn’t help feeling a tad uncomfortable with the girl’s gawking. But many people gaped at the Amish. Their distinct clothes and horses and buggies were an oddity that many Englisch people couldn’t disregard.
“Maybe she’s never seen an Amish person before,” Jonah said.
“Ja, you’re probably right.” And yet Lovina sensed the girl’s curiosity was something more. Something she didn’t understand.
“Just ignore her,” Jonah said.
Lovina looked away, focusing instead on her feet. With the temperature dropping so fast, the rain might freeze on the road and make travel more treacherous. It was definitely time to go home. And at that moment, Jonah’s presence comforted her. He was a skilled horseman and knew how to drive in this kind of weather. But out of her peripheral vision, Lovina saw the Englisch woman tracking them closely, never taking her gaze off them.
When they reached the buggy, Jonah opened the door for her. As she lifted a hand to pull herself up inside, a loud revving of an engine caught her attention and she glanced back at the silver car. The Englisch girl had hopped into the vehicle, put it into gear and sped out of the parking lot. In the process, her reckless driving caused her to nearly hit a parked truck. She swerved in time to avoid a collision, her brakes squealing as her tires spat gravel. Both Jonah and Lovina stared as she pulled onto the main road and raced away.
“What on earth got into her?” Lovina asked.
Jonah shrugged his wide shoulders and wiped his damp face with a calloused hand. “Beats me. She seems awfully young. Maybe she hasn’t had her driver’s license long. She sure doesn’t act like she knows what she’s doing.”
Chuckling at the eccentricities of the Englisch, Lovina nodded and climbed into the buggy. She immediately saw a large wicker basket sitting on the back seat, covered with several receiving blankets. While Jonah hurried around to climb into the driver’s seat, Lovina stared at the object, wondering how it got there.
“What’s wrong?” Jonah asked, taking the leather lead lines into his practiced grip and releasing the driving brake.
She nodded toward the basket. “What is that?”
He swiveled around and looked over his shoulder, his eyebrows crinkled in a confused frown. “Where did that come from?”
Without answering, Lovina jumped out of the buggy and looked up and down the street. Ignoring the thick drops of rain striking her face, she sought some sign of the silver car, but the vehicle was long gone. And all at once, a horrible feeling blanketed her. The realization that the Englisch girl had been watching them for a specific reason permeated her dazed mind. She wished she’d thought to get the license plate number on the car but she’d had no reason to do so. Now, she feared she’d regret it.
Turning, she climbed back inside. Ignoring Jonah’s look of confusion, she closed the door tightly, shutting out the brisk wind. The quiet thud of raindrops striking the overhang seemed to escalate her nerves.
“Ach, dear me,” she murmured beneath her breath.
“What is it? What’s going on?” he asked, his eyes, forehead and mouth quirked in an endearing frown.
Shaking her head, Lovina reached into the back seat and pulled the basket close so she could inspect the contents. Just as she feared. Nestled within the folds of the warm blankets, a very tiny baby lay sleeping peacefully.
Jonah gasped in horror. “Where did that come from?”
“That is a girl,” Lovina whispered, noticing the miniature dress the baby wore. It was handmade, the stitches even and tidy. Not at all like the factory-sewn jumpers so many of the Englischers put on their babies.
“Ach, you poor liebchen,” Lovina crooned as she rested her fingers against the babe’s arm.
The infant moved briefly, sticking a diminutive hand out, but she didn’t awaken. Her small rosebud lips made a little sucking motion. The tiny nose, cheeks, chin, faint outline of eyebrows and fringe of eyelashes were absolutely perfect. Wonderfully formed and beautiful. And no matter how many new babies Lovina helped to enter this world, she could never get over the feeling she was witnessing the perfect miracle of life every single time. But more than that, this moment reminded her of a day twelve years earlier when she’d held her own precious newborn babe within her arms. Lovina had been only fourteen years old at the time. The father of her babe had been barely fifteen. Way too young to support a wife and child. Lovina had given birth to a lovely little boy but he was born out of wedlock to parents who were too young to raise him. Lovina was willing to try. She’d loved and adored her baby at first sight...until he was cruelly taken away from her without her permission and given to a childless Amish couple to raise as their own.
“Oh, ne!” Lovina murmured beneath her breath.
Her heart gave a powerful squeeze. She’d heard of this happening to other midwives but this was her first. A baby abandoned into her care. For Lovina, it was personal. Because she’d had a child out of wedlock, she could hardly stand the thought that somewhere in this world, there was a young mother who felt desperate enough to leave her child in the hands of complete strangers.
“Do you think the Englisch girl is her mudder?” Jonah asked.
“Ja, I most certainly do,” Lovina said, wondering when the baby had eaten last. She searched the buggy but found no bottles or diapers. And since new babies must eat every two or three hours, she was filled with urgency.
“Gucke!” Jonah picked up a folded piece of paper tucked within the folds of the blanket and handed it to Lovina.
His deferential treatment didn’t pass her notice. He was always solicitous and respectful of her. Always helpful. Yet there was a giant wall between them and she figured it was because everyone in their Gmay knew she’d given birth out of wedlock. To top it off, her father had left their Amish faith. He’d divorced her mom and married an Englisch woman and Lovina hadn’t seen him since. Things like that weren’t kept secret for long, especially since she’d lived in this community for years.
Some people tried to hide from their past. That wasn’t possible for the Amish. When they relocated to another state, the bishops of the new and old community corresponded, to ensure the new person was still in good standing with their faith. Otherwise, they would be shunned. And more than anything, Lovina wished no one knew about her past. That she could be a normal young woman who went out with nice young men, married and had a familye of her own. But her history made it impossible. Because she was damaged goods. No Amish man would want her now.
Jonah watched Lovina carefully as she read the note. A myriad of emotions flashed across her pretty face. Her high forehead creased in a frown, her slightly upturned nose crinkled softly, and her full lips pursed in apprehension. Twining her finger around one of the black ribbons on her traveling bonnet, she gave a sad little gasp and her brilliant blue eyes widened before a flicker of dismay filled their depths.
“What does it say?” he asked.
She didn’t answer for a moment, as if she was reading it a second time. Finally, she took a deep inhale and read out loud.
“‘Dear Lovina Albrecht,
“‘I’ve been told you are a midwife and are kind and generous. I can’t be Amish anymore but I have no money to take care of my baby either. Her name is Autumn and she was born the second of this month. Her father is Englisch and wants nothing to do with us. I don’t even know where he is. I want my boppli to be raised Amish by loving parents. That’s why I’m giving her to you. Please don’t try to find me. Take my daughter and care for her as your own. When she is old enough, tell her it’s because I love her that I gave her up. One day, I hope she’ll understand. Her life would be ruined if she stayed with me. Gott bless.’”
Lovina lowered the paper to her lap and pressed her fingertips against her mouth. Her expressive eyes glistened with tears and Jonah understood her consternation only too well. If anyone understood this situation, it was him. Having been raised by his grandparents, he’d lived the sadness and confusion of growing up never knowing his own mother. In fact, he had no idea who his father was. Little Autumn’s mom had abandoned her, just like Jonah’s mother had abandoned him shortly after he was born.
“What should we do?” Lovina lifted her pensive gaze to his.
Her eyes were filled with grief and a part of him hated to see her sad. Sighing, he knew exactly what his Englisch employers inside the hospital would want him to do. He should hand the baby over to the administrator. Right now. But in his heart, he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Because he was Amish and so was this baby. And the Amish never, ever involved the Englisch in their lives unless it was absolutely, critically unavoidable.
“Her mamm was Amish, though it appears she has left her faith,” Jonah said. “Her clothing looked Englisch. From her note, it’s obvious she knows about you, so I’m guessing she must be from one of the Amish districts in our region.”
“Ja, I think you’re right. Little Autumn is definitely Amish,” Lovina confirmed as she reached up and gently caressed the delicate stitching on the sleeping baby’s lavender dress. The child wiggled and blinked her eyes open. She briefly made eye contact and remained calm. She wore a sober expression that seemed so wise and understanding, as if she understood her predicament but knew they would take care of her.
“Ach, she’s so beautiful,” Lovina whispered, leaning forward to gaze into the child’s dark blue eyes.
“Ja, and she deserves better from her mamm than this,” Jonah said.
Lovina jerked at the anger in his tone and he forced himself to calm down. Though he frequently assisted Lovina in childbirth throughout their Gmay and had seen his fair share of newborns, he thought Autumn was the prettiest baby of them all. Her button nose, cheeks and eyes were impeccably formed and his heart ached with sorrow to know she wasn’t wanted by her own mom.
“How dare her mudder abandon her like this?” he muttered to himself.
Lovina lifted her head and stared at him with wide eyes. “We mustn’t judge. We don’t know what the circumstances are or what her mamm might be going through. She looked incredibly young. She may be destitute and have no way to provide for her child.”
That might be true. But...
“What about her familye? Surely they would help her,” he said.
Most Amish families were quite large, living near their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings. And if that failed, the members of their Gmay would always come to the rescue. Their Amish congregation consisted of more than regular church meetings and a shared faith in Christ. It was an entire community of support, no matter the need. The Amish stuck together and took care of their own.
Lovina gazed at the baby. “Maybe something else is amiss here. We won’t know until we find the mudder.”
He nodded, expecting nothing less than absolute compassion from Lovina. She was so good and kind. Always earnest and giving as she tended the expectant mothers in their Gmay. And she doted on their new babies. Like everyone else, he knew she’d given away her own child. Maybe she felt guilty for what she’d done and was trying to make amends. It didn’t matter to him. The last thing he wanted was to get involved with another woman. Not after the way his ex-fiancée had fractured his heart when she’d dumped him to marry another man in their Gmay. He thought she’d loved him but she’d proven him wrong, just like his mother.
The intensity of the rain increased as he sat back and stared out the windshield. His mind raced in a melee of thoughts. Everyone in their community knew his mom had abandoned him shortly after his birth. It wasn’t a secret. But the Amish cherished all children, even illegitimate ones. Usually.
Although Jonah’s grandparents raised him, he’d never felt like he belonged. Every woman he’d ever loved or cared about had abandoned him for one reason or other. First, his mom had ditched him for an Englisch life because she couldn’t cope with being an unwed mother. Then his fiancée had dumped him when she learned his small farm was barely making ends meet. She feared the financial insecurity too much and married another man in their congregation whose familye owned one of the most prosperous farms in the area. Even Jonah’s grandma had died when he was only thirteen. All these women had ducked out whenever things got rough. Other than his grandma, he’d been left feeling like he couldn’t depend on any woman to stick it out with him.
Though the tenets of his faith taught that his primary goal should be to wed and raise a familye of his own, that would never happen. Not for him. Once upon a time, he’d wanted to marry. He dearly longed to belong to someone who cared about him. Someone he could shower his love upon in return. Now all he wanted was to sell his farm and move back east. As soon as he found the time, he’d speak with a real estate agent in town. A distant cousin in Ohio had offered him and his grandfather room and board in exchange for labor on his farm. Seeing his ex-fiancée so happy with her new husband at church and other gatherings had become too difficult for him to bear. It constantly rubbed salt in his wounded heart. He couldn’t stay here anymore and watch her live a happy life with another man. He just couldn’t!
Jonah glanced at Lovina, focusing on the matter at hand. Right now, they had to take care of this baby.
He inhaled a deep, settling breath and let it go. “According to the Safe Haven Law in Colorado, a mudder may deliver her uninjured boppli to a firefighter at a fire station or to a staff member at a hospital, with no questions asked. But the child can be no more than seventy-two hours old.”
In unison, they turned and looked closely at Autumn, studying her wee little face. Jonah brushed the babe’s hand with his index finger, checking her reflexes. She quickly tightened her grip around his thumb, which looked enormous in comparison to hers.
“According to the mudder’s note, this baby was born on October 2, which would make her twenty days old,” he said. “Notice her face doesn’t appear swollen and her eyes are quite clear and focused. She’s definitely older than three days. I’m certain of it.”
“Ja, I agree,” Lovina said. “Maybe her mamm doesn’t know about the Safe Haven Law.”
Jonah agreed. The only reason he and Lovina knew about the law was because of their training as EMT and midwife.
The strong patter of rain caused Jonah to glance out the window. It was really coming down now.
“We should take her heemet,” he said.
“Ja, I’d like to get her out of this damp air. But what will we do with her?” Lovina asked.
He peered through the dreary haze at the hospital. “We can’t hand her over. This child isn’t Englisch. And no matter what, the authorities will prosecute her mudder for abandonment and confiscate the boppli.”
Lovina gasped, then made a sad noise in the back of her throat. Jonah knew the option of turning Autumn in upset her. It upset him, too. In his heart, he thought prosecution was the least the young mother deserved for abandoning her child but he knew the bishop of their Gmay would never agree. Autumn was Amish and they must take care of her, no matter what. It would be unacceptable for them to hand this innocent child over to the Englisch and their worldly ways. For Jonah, it was tantamount to throwing away one of Gott’s children when she was completely innocent and vulnerable. Jonah could never do that. Not ever!
Lovina shook her head. “If we turn Autumn in, social services will give her to an Englisch familye to raise. They’d never give her back to the Amish, especially if they find the mudder and prosecute her for abandonment.”
Hearing his own fears verbalized caused Jonah’s heart to clench. No matter what Autumn’s mother had done, this baby deserved to be raised by her own people. She must remain Amish.
“We can’t turn our backs on her,” Lovina said.
“I agree,” he said. “The boppli might have grandparents who want her. We need to look into this matter further and see if we can find them.”
“But if that were the case, wouldn’t the mudder have left Autumn with her grandparents instead of bringing her to me?” Lovina asked.
Her quick intellect always impressed Jonah. She always seemed to think the same way he did. But the fact that she’d given away her own child, even if it was years earlier, stood like a giant wall between them. Why had she given up her baby? He wanted to ask but it was none of his business.
“That’s true,” he said, “but it’s possible there’s a greater problem here that we don’t know about.”
The concession was difficult for him. He’d always believed it was a mother’s duty to put her child’s welfare first. He couldn’t condone abandoning a baby like this. Nor could he conceive of any scenario that would force a mother to do so. He didn’t understand at all.
“Can’t we consult with Bishop Yoder for his advice?” Lovina asked.
As usual, they were both on the same track. Jonah wasn’t surprised. Frequently in their medical work together, they agreed on what to do.
“Ja, I think that would be best. We’ll consult Bishop Yoder first,” he said.
After all, everyone within the Gmay respected their bishop. He’d been elected to his position by the members of their congregation because he was devout, kind and generous and had a wisdom that seemed to surpass other men. He was also nonjudgmental and forgiving, doing everything in his power to lead and help the members of their congregation work, live and worship in joy and happiness. Rather than being domineering or dictatorial, he wanted their individual success. As a man of Gott, he truly seemed to want only what was right and good for others.
“We’ll consult the bishop,” Jonah confirmed.
With those final words, he slapped the lead lines against the horse’s back and the buggy jerked forward.
As they pulled out of the parking lot, the rain intensified. Great, heavy drops of water pounded the windshield and saturated the hard, dry earth. Inwardly, Jonah smiled, knowing his farm was getting a good drenching.
He drove carefully, conscious of the horse’s reactions to the rushing wind. The poor animal ducked his head and trotted forward, seeming eager to get home. No doubt the warm, dry barn and bale of hay beckoned to him. But Jonah didn’t want to end up in a ditch. Not with Lovina and a newborn in the buggy. They should get the child indoors where she could be dry and warm as fast as possible, but he wouldn’t travel at a breakneck pace, either.
Within fifteen minutes, Jonah saw his farm from a distance. Located just a mile outside of town, it was a lovely place with a fine house, a barn, corrals and fallow fields that had burgeoned with hay only weeks earlier. Now the harvest was over and Jonah could focus on his winter chores. The big drawback was that his place only had thirty acres of land. Jonah really needed thirty more to grow enough hay to be self-sufficient and provide feed for his horses and cattle. When he’d first bought the place, he’d thought it would be simple to buy more land. Hah! That was easier said than done. None of the surrounding farmers were interested in selling to him. Financially, it had become a hardship and he feared he might lose his farm. Then Bishop Yoder had asked if he’d be willing to study to become an EMT. Under the tutelage of Eli Stoltzfus, a member of their Gmay who was a certified paramedic, Jonah had gotten his certification and a part-time job at the hospital.
Then, several months earlier, the bishop had asked if Lovina could rent Jonah’s farmhouse for her midwifery business. By that time, Jonah was certified and could occasionally assist with her work. Everyone, including the Englisch hospital administrators, thought it was an ideal situation. Because the Englisch doctors didn’t understand their Amish ways, Jonah and Lovina were able to provide inroads to help their people receive better medical care. Everyone was happy, except Jonah. He didn’t want to work with Lovina. He didn’t want to spend any more time with her than necessary. And he felt guilty for feeling that way because he knew Gott wanted him to love everyone, even a woman who would abandon her baby. But the only reason he’d agreed to rent out his house to her was because he needed the extra income.
Between his farm work, the rent Lovina paid and his part-time EMT job, Jonah was finally making ends meet. Now would be an ideal time for him to marry. But with his fiancée breaking off their engagement last winter, he wasn’t interested in any other woman. He had no reason to stay and try to make his farm prosper. It’d be better to sell it off and move on, which he planned to do just as soon as he could. Hopefully, it would only take a few months to sell. Then he could start fresh somewhere else where his ex-fiancée’s betrayal wouldn’t hurt so much.
Focusing on the road, his mind returned to the present. The bishop’s farm was eight miles outside of town. Much too far to drive a new baby there in the middle of a rainstorm. Jonah didn’t want to put Autumn at risk. He would drop the baby and Lovina off at his place, then go and fetch the bishop. It was the right thing to do. Because no matter what hurts he carried inside, he’d do anything in his power to protect this baby from harm.
