Family Christmas on the Ranch
Autor:in
Deb Kastner
Gelesen
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Kapitel
36
Chapter One
Miranda Morgan wouldn’t even know what hit her.
He was here in front of her cabin, preparing to make certain of that. After he was through with her, the powers that be would want to name a tempest after him.
Hurricane Simon.
It didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen Miranda since high school, or even, as his best friend Mason’s kid sister, that she’d bared the occasional brunt of his pranks and mean jokes. In another situation, he might be considering how to make amends and not additional strife. He was a new man, a man of faith. The Lord had changed his heart, and now Simon’s goal was to change his life to match what had happened internally.
But try as he might, he fell short of being able to forgive Miranda for ignoring her responsibility to the sweet nine-month-old twins now in her care.
If this was a spiritual test, a trial in his bumpy new Christian life, it was a doozy.
Miranda was an eminently successful celebrity photographer. But he couldn’t care less about movie stars and the la-di-da lifestyles of the rich and famous. He was a simple ranch owner and dog trainer and he liked his solitary country life.
What he didn’t like was Miranda. She couldn’t even be bothered to fly home to Texas long enough to attend her own twin niece’s and nephew’s christening, and she was not only Hudson and Harper’s aunt, but had also been named their godmother.
And yet she hadn’t managed to spare even one weekend for them.
Even Simon had been in church that day, though at the time he hadn’t been a churchgoing man. He remembered feeling uncomfortable, but he’d been there. Simon was the twins’ godfather, and to him, it was a big thing, a sacred duty, a promise that he’d always be there for Hudson and Harper in any way they needed.
Obviously, Miranda didn’t feel the same way. Family obligations clearly meant nothing to her.
And now, through a cruel twist of fate, Miranda had been named the twins’ permanent legal guardian.
How could that even be? The very thought of it was both confusing and infuriating.
It was painful enough that Mary, Mason’s youngest sister, and her husband, John, had been taken from this world prematurely by the merciless act of a drunkard who’d made the deadly choice to drive while intoxicated.
But for Mary to name self-serving, high-flying Miranda as the twins’ legal guardian, even after all she had done, or not done, for Mary and the babies—
Well, that made less sense than putting a Border collie in a room full of cats and expecting him to herd them.
What had Mary been thinking? How could she have considered her sister a worthwhile guardian, one with whom she could entrust innocent children? What kind of mother would a woman like Miranda possibly be?
Inconceivable.
Why hadn’t Mason and his wife, Charlotte, been named the twins’ guardians? They already had four children of their own with a fifth on the way. They were wonderful, experienced parents who had been there for Mary and the twins during every stage of their lives.
Mary might have sincerely believed that two more children would have been too much of a burden on Mason and Charlotte, and that they had their own family to think of and provide for.
But choosing Miranda?
Mary might have been sincere, but she’d been sincerely wrong.
However the future played out now that Miranda was the twins’ legal guardian, Simon’s determination to be a positive influence in his godchildren’s lives hadn’t changed one iota. They had always been a priority with him, but even more so now.
If Miranda was anything like Simon imagined her to be, Harper and Hudson would need all the protection and stability they could get.
He was going to step up for those two precious babies.
Unfortunately, that also meant he would, by default, be in contact with Miranda. She would have to let him into her world, whether she liked it or not. And likewise, he’d have to learn to work with her. They didn’t have to be friends, but they would have to get along.
For the twins’ sakes, he reminded himself as he removed his brown Stetson, combed his fingers back through his thick blond hair and knocked on the door.
“It’s open” he heard Miranda call from somewhere inside the cabin, her voice muffled and distant.
Feeling awkward at having to let himself into a cabin he was unfamiliar with, he opened the door and stepped inside. He didn’t immediately see Miranda, or the twins, either, for that matter.
His attention was instead captured by the insane display of Christmas decorations, red and green, silver and gold, everywhere his gaze landed.
It looked as if the North Pole had exploded in her living room.
An enormous eight-foot Christmas tree stood in one corner, the flashing angel topper just barely clearing the ceiling. Presents wrapped in colorful aluminum paper were piled high underneath the tree.
She’d arranged a large Nativity set, complete with a stable and an angel proclaiming Peace on Earth, on the end table.
Shiny red and gold garland adorned every wall, with evergreen garland gracing the fireplace where the stockings were hung with care, as the poem went. Homemade stockings, with Hudson and Harper’s names written in flourishes of red and green glitter glue.
This woman was clearly obsessed with Christmas.
And apparently, shiny things.
It took him a moment to focus and find Miranda. He supposed he’d expected to find her changing a diaper or two, or feeding the twins their bottles—or whatever it was that nine-month-old babies ate—as the reason she couldn’t answer the door. Instead, she was right there in the middle of the living room, stretched out on her stomach underneath a card table that she’d draped with sheets, holding a flashlight she was beaming on a picture book as Harper and Hudson cuddled on either side of her.
Of all the crazy, unexpected scenarios, this one took the cake.
Or the Christmas fruitcake as the case might be.
The tent was ingenious. She’d used stacks of hardback books to fasten the edges of the sheet to the sofa on one side of them and an armchair on the other, with the card table holding up the structure in the middle.
Lying on her stomach, jammed under a table only a few feet high, couldn’t possibly be comfortable for her, with her tall, lithe frame, and yet she had an enthusiastic smile on her face and didn’t look the least bit put out by the awkward position. He suspected her feet might be protruding out the back, although he couldn’t confirm that from his current vantage point.
She shined the flashlight at his face, momentarily blinding him, and he held up a hand to block the light.
“Simon?” she questioned, surprise lining her tone. “Simon West?”
He was astonished she recognized him. He’d added a few inches to his frame in the years since they’d seen each other last, not to mention a few pounds. He’d stayed at the outskirts of John and Mary’s funeral and hadn’t spoken to anyone but Mason and Charlotte.
“Uncle Simon,” he corrected her tersely, nodding toward the twins. “It’s an honorary title.”
Of which he was very, very proud.
“Well, Uncle Simon, you’re more than welcome to join us.” She shifted herself and the twins to the side to make room for him in the tiny strung-up tent.
“I’m welcome to—” he repeated. He’d walked into her house out of the blue. She had no idea why he was here, and yet she’d immediately offered him the opportunity to join in their...adventure.
“What are you doing here, by the way?” she asked curiously.
“I—er—”
Her offer completely threw him off his game, and for a moment he was fairly certain he was gaping and couldn’t remember his own name, much less why he had come.
Eventually, he shook his head. There was no way he was going to get his large frame under that small table, no matter how hard he squeezed. And honestly, he didn’t even really want to try.
“We can make it work,” Miranda insisted, clearly not taking no for an answer. “I’m sure the twins will love spending quality time with their uncle Simon.”
She couldn’t possibly know it, but she’d just touched on his weak spot. He hadn’t been spending as much time as he should have with his godchildren. If she’d been trying to give him a guilt trip, those words would have done it, especially given the reason he was here.
“Grab another sheet from the linen closet in the hallway, and grab a few more books from the shelf,” she instructed. “Oh, and get a chair from the kitchen. Drape the end of your sheet across the card table and onto the chair. That’ll give us all a bit more wiggle room. Believe me, these two are regular squirmy wormies.”
By the time he’d followed all her instructions and lengthened the makeshift tent, she was fully absorbed reading the twins their book. He stood before them, wondering how he was going to get where Miranda wanted him to go.
She flashed the cover of the book at Simon, as if finding out what she was reading would somehow convince him to crawl in.
“We’re reading Little Red Riding Hood. Hudson likes the wolf, don’t you, buddy?” she asked the baby, making a growling sound and tickling his tummy.
Hudson squealed and giggled happily.
“Tell Uncle Simon you want him to come on down,” she said to Harper, giving her the same affectionate tickling treatment Hudson had just received. “I think he’s being a little bit stubborn, don’t you?”
Simon balked at her words. He wasn’t being stubborn. He was being practical.
And this was definitely not how this confrontation was supposed to go. He hadn’t envisioned anything of the sort when he’d first knocked on her door, but then, how could he have? This whole scenario was mind-boggling.
He was losing his momentum by the second and he couldn’t seem to do anything to stop it.
“But this is—” he started to say.
Ridiculous.
Humiliating.
Mortifying.
She raised a jaunty, dark eyebrow. There was no question about it. She was outright daring him to make a fool of himself with the twinkle in her pretty hazel eyes.
This was nuts. He was crazy just to be thinking about it.
There was no way he was going to get out of this with his dignity intact. But he’d never been the type of man to walk away from a challenge.
Not now. Not ever.
Grumbling under his breath at the ignominy of it all, he dropped onto his belly to army crawl into the mixed-up files of Miranda’s imagination makeshift dwelling.
“Pirates or spaceships?” she queried as he settled himself in. Grinning, she passed him a handful of crayons.
“Uh—spaceships, I guess.” Not that he had any real preference for one over the other. He’d honestly never given it any thought.
“So in your most secret heart of hearts, you long to be an astronaut and not a cowboy, right?”
Absolutely not.
He supposed he had imagined exchanging his cowboy hat for a space suit when he was a child—but his childhood had gone by in the blink of an eye, almost as if it had never really existed at all.
Reality was reality, and he was a cowboy.
Sort of.
“Yeah. I guess I did. When I was a really little tyke. Maybe three years old.”
Back before his mother—a single mom herself—had gotten thrown into drug rehab one too many times. Before social services had gotten their hands on him and he’d been tossed into the pitiless foster system and left to sink or swim. His childhood dreams had morphed into a nightmare that he couldn’t wake from.
“Coloring is another way of dreaming, you know.”
Simon scoffed softly. He knew better. He had dealt with far too much reality in his life for him to imagine anything past the trials of the day. Scribbling on paper wouldn’t change a thing.
And dreaming? That was a fool’s errand.
He was a responsible man now. He colored black-and-white, inside the lines. But when Harper batted her hand at his coloring book and babbled her baby nonsense at him, he took a blue crayon and started filling in the page before him.
“So, you’re not an actual, live spaceman,” Miranda said with a mock frown of disappointment. “What do you do for a living, then?”
“I breed and train cattle dogs,” he explained as he switched a blue crayon for red.
“I don’t know why, but I assumed you’d grow up to be a rancher like Mason.”
He shrugged. “I’m not really cut out to be a rancher,” he explained. “I can ride a horse and rope a cow, but I didn’t grow up in the country. I didn’t live on a ranch until I was sent to the McPhersons in Wildhorn when I was a teenager. Training dogs is a better fit for me than herding cattle.”
Dogs were reliable. They loved unconditionally. Not like people.
He didn’t give his trust easily. Bouncing from one foster family to the next as a kid had taught him to depend on only himself. He wasn’t much in the relationship department, either. He’d never really learned how to make a relationship work out. He was broken. Like the Tin Woodman in The Wizard of Oz, he was fairly certain he didn’t have a heart.
It was hard enough to learn how to rely on God, never mind people.
He paused. “I do own an acreage with a few head of cattle, and I like the hat.”
That wasn’t exactly a rarity. Nearly all the men in Wildhorn, Texas, wore cowboy hats, from the time they were old enough to sit in a saddle until the day they were laid to rest. Even the local florist sported a Stetson.
“I remember when you moved to town,” she admitted, her cheeks coloring under his gaze. “You were in tenth grade. I was in seventh.”
He couldn’t imagine why she would recall that, other than that he and Mason were such best buddies. He’d never been a popular kid and hadn’t had many friends. The truth was, he hadn’t made much of a mark in Wildhorn, then or now, and what he had done he wasn’t proud of. He had a lot of ground to make up for.
“I never had a dog, even though I grew up on this ranch,” she said thoughtfully, referring to the Morgan holdings, on which her cabin rested. “We only kept ranch animals. We had a couple of herding dogs and a mean-spirited barn cat, who never let me anywhere near him. Once I started my photography career, I was traveling too often to consider a pet.”
“That’s a shame. There are many reasons to have a dog, the least of which is that they are good for your health. And they are the perfect companions. They’re easy for anyone to care for.”
He probably sounded like a commercial, which he kind of was, since dogs were his life’s passion.
She grinned. “Trust me, I’m the exception to that rule. When I was about ten years old, my mom put me in charge of the garden for exactly one season.”
Why was she talking about plants?
“Nothing grew but weeds. No vegetables thrived, and hardly any of the flowers bloomed. I took my mother’s beautiful, colorful garden and murdered it.
“When I lived in my loft in Los Angeles, I experimented again and tried keeping a cactus. You know—the kind that don’t need a lot of attention. Mary helped pick it out. She was the real green thumb of the family. She told me plants helped clean the air.”
She stopped and swallowed hard. He didn’t need her to tell him what she was struggling with, how fresh her grief must still feel for her. It was written all over her face, and tears glittered in her eyes.
Immediately, his innate masculine protective instinct rose in him, but he didn’t trust female tears any more than he did the crying woman so he quashed it back.
Still struggling to speak, Miranda cleared her throat.
“Mary assured me a cactus was the easiest to keep and that even I couldn’t fail, but I managed to strangle the life out of the poor thing within a matter of months.”
“You forgot to water it?” He managed to keep his voice neutral, but he couldn’t help but be concerned. If she was afraid of owning a houseplant or a pet, how was she going to get on with twin babies?
“Sometimes. I’d go weeks without thinking about it at all, and then I’d suddenly remember and overwater.”
Her face flamed.
“Anyway,” she said, taking a deep breath and swiping a palm across her cheeks to remove the lingering moisture, “at the end of the day, I destroyed it. What’s the opposite of green thumb? Black thumb? That’s me.”
He chuckled despite himself.
“So you can see why I’d be concerned about owning a dog. Fortunately, I don’t need a live animal to keep me healthy. I’m in good shape. I work out and eat clean, most of the time. Barring chocolate. Chocolate anything is my weakness.”
She wouldn’t be concerned about her physical condition. She was in really good shape—objectively speaking.
“You could use one for good therapy, then. Dogs make great listeners.”
He didn’t know why he was trying to sell her on the benefits of owning a dog. He wouldn’t put one of his dogs in her care in a million years. She had more than enough responsibility with the twins.
She laughed. “I guess we can all use a little good therapy from time to time, can’t we? I imagine a dog is far cheaper than a psychologist.”
“And a therapist isn’t overjoyed to see you when you walk in the door at night like a dog is.”
“Point taken.” Miranda helped the twins change their crayons to a different color.
He didn’t want to like anything about this woman, but he had to admit she did already appear to have somewhat of a handle on keeping the twins occupied and happy. Much better than he’d thought she would have, in any case.
“So tell me about your dogs.” She propped her chin on her palms.
He raised a brow. Most people’s eyes simply glazed over when he tried to talk about his life’s passion, yet Miranda was urging him to do so.
“My herding dogs are the way I make my main living,” he said. “I own a few especially well-bred Australian cattle dogs with excellent working lines, and between all my females, I manage several litters of puppies every year. I train them and sell them to local ranchers in Texas and surrounding states. I’ve developed enough of a reputation that I’ve got a waiting list for my puppies. That’s my bread and butter.”
He didn’t know why he was telling her all this. He hated talking about himself and didn’t like to brag. But there was something about Miranda’s personality that pulled the words right off his tongue.
Harper rolled over and stared up at him with her big brown eyes. He planted a kiss on her chubby cheek, making her smile and pat his whiskered face with her soft palm.
“I have a dog rescue on the side, and that’s where my true life’s work lies,” he continued. “I take dogs from kill shelters and help them find forever families. That’s the name of my shelter—Forever Family. But some of the dogs I pick up have health or behavioral issues and can never be rehomed, so they stay with me.”
Her eyes widened. She was probably imagining how many dogs he sheltered. She would be surprised when she knew the truth, because she was probably guessing too few.
“I teach all my dogs—cattle dogs and rescues alike—to pass the American Kennel Club Canine Good Citizen program. That certification goes a long way into making the dogs more adoptable.”
“How interesting,” she said, and sounded like she meant it. “All the shelters I know just keep the dogs in cages and walk them from time to time. It’s commendable for you to put in the extra effort to make them ready for their new adoptive families. And I imagine there aren’t too many people who would be willing to take on a dog that they knew at the outset they couldn’t rehome.”
“No, I don’t suppose—” Suddenly, he clamped down on his jaw and lowered his brow. Why was he continuing to yammer on about his work? It made him feel vulnerable that he’d shared a part of himself that he rarely revealed to others.
In general, he kept his thoughts to himself, and this—this was Miranda Morgan he was opening up to, telling her all about his life.
His guard snapped up. He sure as shootin’ hadn’t come to visit her on a social call, much less to put himself in the hot seat—or underneath a makeshift tent with crayons in his hand.
This was ludicrous. How was he going to turn the conversation around to the real reason he was here?
“No, no, Hudson,” Miranda said when the boy started gnawing on the end of his crayon. “That’s not your snack.” She reached into a plastic bag she’d stored beside her and withdrew a hard cracker, replacing the crayon with the finger food.
Simon didn’t want to be, but he couldn’t help but be impressed.
Again.
The woman had actually considered that Hudson and Harper might want snacks before she’d arranged the twins—and herself—in the tent.
Miranda had been a single socialite and suddenly she was a mother. She couldn’t possibly have adapted to her new role as much as it appeared she had. He must be seeing something out of the ordinary, catching her in an especially good moment.
But he had to admit she seemed to have thought of everything. He knew he wouldn’t have fared so well, despite having known and interacted with Hudson and Harper since their births. He would have gone in with nothing and would have had to crawl in and out of the tent every time the twins needed something else.
He wouldn’t have even thought of the tent.
He hated to consider the possibility, but apparently, despite that she’d just arrived in town and had only been the twins’ official guardian for a few days, there was something Miranda could teach him about caring for babies.
Who knew?
Miranda handed Simon a cracker and gestured for him to give it to Harper, who’d pulled herself to a sitting position and was manipulating a toy cell phone, pushing buttons that made beeping sounds.
So Miranda had thought of toys, as well.
Simon tried to give Harper the cracker, but unlike her twin brother, she completely ignored his offering.
“What am I doing wrong?” Simon asked, his cheeks burning. He was glad his jaw was covered with a few days’ growth of whiskers to hide the fact that he was flustered by his inability to get Harper’s attention.
Miranda chuckled. “That’s okay. Don’t sweat it. You aren’t doing anything wrong. Hudson will eat Harper’s cracker if she doesn’t want it. He’ll graze all day if I let him. Snack after snack between meals. I think he’s on a growth spurt.”
“My godson’s getting to be a big, strong boy,” Simon said proudly.
“Typical guy, right?” she teased. “Eating everything put in front of him and then some. But don’t worry. Harper can hold her own with Hudson,” Miranda assured him. “When she wants to.”
Typical woman, Simon thought, but did not say aloud.
“In general, Harper’s more easily distracted by books and toys than food. It’s one of the main differences I’ve noticed between the two of them. That and the way Harper babbles so much more than Hudson. She likes to look you right in the face and talk.”
Also typical woman.
Simon filed that information away in the back of his mind. He welcomed anything that would help him get to know the twins better.
“How about you? Would you like a snack, Uncle Simon? Since we’re camping out, we don’t have as much variety as we would if we were hanging out in the kitchen, but I can offer you a cheese stick and a box of juice.”
He grinned and shook his head, thinking she was teasing him.
“Your loss.” She shrugged and handed Hudson and Harper sippy cups, then pushed a tiny straw into a box of juice and peeled a cheese stick for herself.
He thought she must feel silly chowing down on a toddler snack, but she didn’t even appear to notice how incongruent she looked, gnawing on a cheese stick underneath a tent that was too small for her and then taking a long, noisy slurp out of a boxed juice.
“The first day here, I bought the juice boxes for the twins. Turns out they weren’t quite ready, so this is my new go-to drink.” She saluted him with the juice box.
It was as if she embraced her inner child or some nonsense like that. And yet there was something about her innocent actions that warmed Simon’s heart—and then sent it scrambling backward in retreat.
Oddly, she made him feel like an old codger with his shirt buttoned all the way up to the neck, stiff and set in his ways.
He yanked on his collar, even though in reality he wore his chambray with the two top snaps open.
Her smile widened, as if she’d read his mind. “Sometimes I feel more like a kid than an adult.”
She appeared to realize how that sounded the moment the words left her mouth. Her expression immediately turned apprehensive and she dropped her eyes so her gaze no longer met his.
“Um—that probably wasn’t the best thing to admit, was it? Sometimes my mouth runs faster than my head.”
He rolled to his side and couched his head in his hand.
“Probably not,” he agreed as he schooled his thoughts to take advantage of this perfect opening. “We need to talk about that, actually.”
Her gaze widened. “W-what?” she stammered, clearly taken aback, either by the sudden change in his mood or the way he’d narrowed his eyes on her.
“I’d prefer not to speak to you in front of the children,” he said.
The twins might not understand the words, but they would probably pick up on the tension, because he already knew he was going to get flustered and he doubted his ideas would go down well with Miranda.
Her gaze widened. “Oh. I...see.”
Clearly, she didn’t. But she’d picked up on his change of attitude and her shoulders had tensed.
“It’s about time for me to put the babies down for their naps, anyway.”
She switched her attention to the twins and her expression lightened.
Harper snatched at the cracker Hudson was busy gnawing on, taking it away from him. Hudson howled in frustration. Miranda laughed and handed him another cracker.
Harper let out an ear-piercing screech, as if someone had pinched her. The guilty party, cracker crumbs on his chubby cheeks, darted forward, right out of the tent. The kid army crawled faster than any soldier Simon had ever seen.
Without thinking, Simon shoved his knees under him and went up on all fours, smacking the back of his head on the card table and sending it keening to the side.
Stretching to his full length, he grasped Hudson by the waist and scooped him into his arms on a roll, landing on his back with Hudson flapping on his stomach.
“Where do you think you’re going, little buddy?” he asked, planting an affectionate kiss on the baby’s forehead. “Did you pinch your sister? Gentlemen don’t pick on ladies, even when they deserve it.”
“Simon?” called Miranda, her voice sounding oddly muffled from behind him. “Harper. Ow!”
When he glanced back, it was to find the card table tipped completely on its side. Harper was sitting by Miranda, laughing and batting her arms as she pulled her fingers through Miranda’s long chestnut curls.
Miranda couldn’t stop the baby from yanking and tugging, even though it had to hurt, because somehow, she’d managed to get completely rolled up, cocoon-style, in a couple of the white sheets that had only moments before served as a tent.
“A little help here?” she pleaded around the cloth. She wriggled but only managed to wrap herself tighter and tighter.
“Ironic, isn’t it?” he asked mildly as he placed Hudson next to Harper and started tugging at the sheets tangled around Miranda.
With effort, he gently unwrapped her.
“What?” Her brow narrowed in confusion when she noticed him staring at her.
He paused significantly.
“You’re a mummy.”
So not funny.
At least, coming from Simon West it wasn’t. He’d been a callous teenager, and it didn’t look like he was much better now. His mood had gone as dark as a thunderstorm.
After putting the twins down in their cribs for a nap, Miranda dragged her feet as long as possible before returning to the kitchen, where she was oddly certain a confrontation was going to take place. About what, she had no idea.
She’d never been the confrontational type. She preferred to keep the peace.
Simon had been nice enough for a while, but his surprise visit, especially the whole we need to talk thing, definitely had the edge of tension around it.
She serenaded the twins with an extra lullaby and lingered by their bedsides until they dropped into a tranquil slumber. She loved the sound of their deep breathing and cute little snores.
Here in the quiet of the nursery it was nice and calm, and Miranda’s heart teemed over with serene warmth and love, the polar opposite of the crazy, uneven pulse-pounding her heart had taken with her surprising and unexpected encounter with Simon West.
Simon, the boy Miranda had crushed on for every angst-ridden day of her teen years, was now a man whose once soft adolescent face had been hardened by life but was no less handsome for whatever trials the years had given him.
Along with her brother Mason, Simon had picked on her incessantly when she was a soft-hearted, impressionable teenager, but that hadn’t kept her from crushing on him. There was one prank in particular that had stayed with her that had, in a way, informed the woman she’d become when she’d left Wildhorn to pursue a career in photography in Los Angeles.
He probably didn’t even remember the hurtful incident that had so mortified her, and if he did, it was probably only as a humorous blip on his radar.
She scoffed softly and shook her head. She’d just been a silly lovesick teenager. It had been a long time since high school, and she’d tucked her memories of Simon, both the nice and the not-so-nice, deep into her heart and locked them away for good.
Or so she’d thought.
Naturally, she’d known when she’d moved back to Wildhorn that Simon would eventually cross her path. He and Mason were still best friends.
But she wasn’t in any particular hurry to see him again, and she definitely hadn’t expected the explosion of emotion she’d felt when he’d walked in the door of her cabin and she’d first met his sea-blue-eyed gaze. It was as if a boxful of fireworks had suddenly gone off in her chest.
Oh, she remembered Simon, all right. So much more than she wanted to admit. She still recalled every detail of her high school years, every single time she’d lingered by his locker in hopes of seeing him, or stared up at the ceiling in her bedroom, listening to sad songs and pining for the boy in the next room playing video games with her brother.
As an adult, she’d had her heart thoroughly broken by a man using her to further his career. She’d learned from that, and her trust didn’t come easily anymore. She’d sealed up her heart and intended to keep it that way.
Which was all the more reason for this first encounter with Simon not to be an emotional explosion.
She’d been so certain she’d prepared her heart for the eventuality of seeing him again, now that she was home. That any silly teenage emotions she’d felt for him were far behind her.
Clearly not so much.
And anyway—why had he mysteriously shown up at her cabin, insisting that he wanted to talk to her?
She blew out a breath and straightened her shoulders. It wasn’t doing her any good to hide in the nursery speculating over what he might be doing here. The only way she would find out what Simon wanted was to talk to him.
With a sigh, she gave the twins one last loving glance and quietly closed the door to the nursery behind her.
The first thing she did when she entered the kitchen was grab the baby monitor and place it on the table between them like a shield as she slid into a chair across from Simon. She’d brewed coffee earlier in the day, and he’d taken the initiative to pour them each a cup and warm the brew in the microwave.
“Cream or sugar?” Miranda asked, taking a fortifying sip of the hot liquid.
He shook his head. “Dark.”
Kind of like the look he was giving her right now.
“I’m going to come right to the point,” he said, moving straight past polite niceties and digging right in. “I have some concerns about Mary naming you the twins’ guardian when Mason and Charlotte clearly would have been the better choice.”
She choked on her coffee.
Of all the rude and unconscionable declarations he could have made...
His words were so blunt they hit her like a sledgehammer. She scrunched her brow and bit the inside of her lip in a desperate attempt to keep him from seeing how much his statement had hurt her.
“And this is your business how?”
He lifted his chin and narrowed his now ice-blue eyes. “I have a vested interest in them and have every intention of protecting them. I expect to have the opportunity to spend time with them and really get to know them. I’m their godfather, which you would have known if you had bothered to attend Harper and Hudson’s christening.”
“Wow. Judgmental much?”
“Just telling it like it is.”
Miranda’s first impulse was to argue with him, except for one tiny detail—
He was right.
She had missed the twins’ christening, something that she now deeply regretted. If she could dial time back...but she couldn’t. All she could do at this point was own up to her past mistakes and move forward from here.
“You’re right,” she admitted softly.
Simon looked as if he was about to speak, but then he cut himself short and stared at her openmouthed.
“I’m sorry. Did you just say I was right?”
Clearly that wasn’t the response he’d expected. For a man who didn’t know her, he certainly had his opinions about her firmly in place.
She couldn’t help but be a little resentful, but she pressed back the prickly feelings in her chest and continued.
“I wasn’t at the babies’ christening, and I should have been. With John’s schedule as a surgeon, Mary and John were only in Wildhorn for that one weekend. They couldn’t change their schedule, so I should have. No matter what my reasons, I let my career take precedence over my family, and there’s no excuse for that, so I’m not offering any.”
Once again, he hesitated before speaking.
“Special client?” he guessed, curling his hands around the mug of coffee.
“A-list actors in a private ceremony.” She sighed. “It wasn’t about money or prestige. Both actors were and are close personal friends of mine. The wedding had been planned for a year in advance and I had committed to shooting it well before the twins were even conceived, never mind born. In any other circumstances, I would have excused myself from the shoot and found another photographer to take my place for them.”
“That probably wouldn’t have been a good move for your career, though, right? You wouldn’t want to be seen to be reneging on your obligations,” he said drily.
She couldn’t tell whether he was beginning to see her side of the story or whether he was trying to coax her into digging herself deeper into the muck of remorse and shame. Not that it mattered either way.
“Maybe. I had a reputation for being especially trustworthy. But I would have survived, even if my career took a hit. As it is, now that I’m stepping into my new role as Harper and Hudson’s mother, my celebrity photography days are history, anyway. So in the long run, it didn’t really matter.”
She felt slightly nostalgic at the admission, but surprisingly not sad or regretful. She’d left celebrity photography in the past, where she now knew it permanently belonged. How could it be otherwise?
It didn’t matter if she’d made the decision to forage into the realm of motherhood unaided by circumstance, or whether she’d been thrust into the role by a tragedy. She had done everything she’d desired to do in her career, and it was time to come home. Hudson and Harper’s guardianship had simply given her a push in the right direction.
Home.
“This must be a jarring change for you, going from the lifestyle you’ve been leading to living in a guest cabin on your brother’s ranch.”
Again, she felt as if he was probing for answers beneath the surface and possibly trying to trip her up.
She shook her head. “Don’t forget I grew up here. It’s not that much of a culture shock for me to return to my roots.”
And if it was, she most certainly wasn’t going to admit that to Simon. She still had the feeling he was pushing her to justify the decisions she’d now made, just as she had put it all out there about her past and admitted her mistakes.
Well, her decisions were her own, and none of his business.
“You said you want to be a special part of the twins’ lives. What, exactly, does that look like?”
She tensed for the answer. She didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him, which wouldn’t be far, big lug that he was. And she suspected he didn’t trust her, either.
“Exactly?” he echoed. “I don’t know. You let me in to your life. I let you in to mine. Maybe we can do things once in a while. With the twins, I mean.”
He cringed. He literally, actually cringed, enough that Miranda could see it in his expression. Was he looking for reassurance that the twins were safe and loved with her? And was it really that distasteful for him to consider spending time with her?
He was certainly no picnic, either.
She narrowed her gaze on him.
“Like what?” she asked warily.
“Take them to the playground. Attend community events together. Maybe have them come meet my puppies. Simple country living.”
If that was all it was—and if Simon was really serious about this...
The twins could use another good male role model in their lives. Emphasis on good.
If Simon started acting like a jerk, this arrangement stopped.
“I accept.”
“Simple country living,” he repeated, appearing surprised that she’d relented so easily.
“Yeah. I got that,” she said sardonically.
“You won’t miss your old life? The parties? The society? The dazzle?”
The truth was, she was tired of the limelight. Even being the one behind the camera, every aspect of her life was exposed to the public eye. A nice, quiet cabin on a remote Texas ranch didn’t sound so bad.
Okay, so maybe not quiet, what with two babies who made their needs known loud and clear at all hours of the day and night. But private, in any case.
She stared at him for a moment, trying to read his expression, but he did a good job concealing his thoughts.
“I suppose I won’t have many opportunities to wear any of the glitzy cocktail dresses I’ve accumulated, but I can still tote around my designer purses. I’ll have the best-dressed diaper bag in town,” she joked.
He didn’t laugh. He didn’t even crack a smile.
He didn’t think she was good enough to be Harper and Hudson’s guardian.
Well, join the club, buster.
He was going to have to stand in line to claim that particular conclusion, because she’d already tried that one on for size, and unfortunately, it fit.
She sighed wearily. “Look. I get why you’re concerned. I don’t know why Mary chose me to be the twins’ guardian. I only know she did, and I’m going to do the very best I can with what I’ve been given.”
His lips were pressed into a straight line and his expression didn’t give anything away. She half expected him to tell her to give up now. That was what he was here for, wasn’t it? To bully her?
She might not have as much confidence in her maternal abilities as she would like, but if he was going to press her, she would push right back. She wasn’t a vulnerable teenager anymore.
She wouldn’t let herself be trod upon by Simon, or by any other man. It had happened once, in Los Angeles. It would never happen again.
Her words were brave, but in the deepest recesses of her heart, the question continued to nag at her.
Could a woman like her really learn to be a mother?
