Discovering Us 4: Beatitude

VIOLET

I’m a mother now. It’s been nearly a full day, and I’m still trying to process it. The events of last night were a whirlwind, and I’m still grappling with the reality that I went through part of it alone.

I’m just thankful that the boys made it back just in time. If they had been five minutes later, she would have been born without them. The mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes.

I’ve been staring at her non-stop since I woke up. She’s absolutely stunning. There’s no other way to describe it. Even her mismatched eyes somehow add to her beauty. And she latched on immediately, without any problems.

Sure, my nipples are a bit tender, but she’s feeding. It’s three in the afternoon, and this time yesterday, I was scared, starting my labor journey alone.

Now, twenty-four hours later, I’m sitting next to Liz who hasn’t stopped crying since Lynn handed Ella over to her.

My little Ella.

“I’ve been waiting for this day for so long. To hold my son’s baby,” she says, patting my leg as another tear rolls down her cheek.

“It’s been quite the journey for them, hasn’t it?” I say, because what else is there to say? They’ve been trying for a long time. Longer than they should have had to.

Their life has been a rollercoaster of highs and lows, with children they were given but not promised. It’s been a painful journey, but now, finally, we have Ella.

She’s the spitting image of her father.

I know the DNA tests haven’t come back yet, but if I were a betting woman, I’d put all my money on Tyler being her dad. And the funny thing is, I know exactly when she was conceived.

It was the day he broke down, the day he sang for the first time, the day he took me to bed for the first time after Henry.

“Thank you, darling, sweet girl. You’ve made them so happy.” I think she’s talking to Ella, so I stay quiet until she tugs at my chin, forcing me to look at her. Her face is filled with what I can only describe as love.

“You are more than I could have ever dreamed for my boys, Violet,” she says, and suddenly, I’m the one crying.

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I can’t hold back the tears. I can’t put into words what I’m feeling, so I just lean into Liz, resting my head on her shoulder. She wraps her arm around me, and we sit there, crying and watching Ella sleep on her lap.

It feels good to be held by her, it feels motherly. It’s a feeling I can’t remember ever experiencing before. We stay like this, wrapped up in each other, until Lynn plops down on the other end of the couch, looking a bit flustered. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are wide as she stares at the fireplace.

“Are you okay, love?” Carl asks, and she nods silently.

“I…they. I should have knocked,” she stammers.

Carla chuckles from the kitchen. It’s a soft, gentle laugh. Not mocking at all.

“You walked in on them, didn’t you?” Lynn nods.

“Always best to knock when my sons are around,” Carla advises, shredding chicken with Catherine.

They’re both grinning from ear to ear.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lynn replies, still staring at the fire. A wave of desire washes over me, but I know I can’t have sex for at least six weeks. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope if this is how I feel on day one. Day one. Ugh.

“It’s got to be Zach. I’ve never heard them or walked in on them once at my house,” Liz jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

“That’s because I refuse him at home, Mom,” Tyler says, coming over to look at Ella.

“See, I told you it must be Zach,” Liz calls over to Carla, and they both laugh.

“Dinner’s ready. Shall we eat in your dining room?” Carla asks as she finishes mashing potatoes.

“Let me help you,” I offer, getting up from the couch and walking over to her. She’s made pulled chicken with mashed potatoes and vegetables, all steaming on serving plates and bowls. I carry the mashed potatoes and vegetables down the hall to the dining room we’ve yet to use.

I get the placemats and plates out of the cupboard as Callum and Zach stand in the doorway.

“We eating in here?” Zach asks cheerfully, taking the placemats from me and setting them down. I look up to find Callum standing there, his face red.

“Yup, I heard Lynn caught you two at it,” I say, my tone sharper than I intended. It’s jealousy. Jealousy that they’ll be able to do that, all three of them, while I have to wait around for a month and a half before I can join in.

“Please don’t remind me,” Callum whispers, taking the plates and setting them on the mats Zach just put down.

“It’s okay. It’s our house,” Zach says with a grin.

“My mom has never seen me with anyone,” Callum admits shyly.

“Not even a girl?” Zach asks as I watch them discuss being caught in the act.

“Never had a girlfriend until I joined the force, and she wasn’t really a girlfriend. More like a friend with benefits. Besides, I had my own place then,” he explains, and a pang of jealousy hits me as he mentions being with someone else.

I try to suppress it before I say something I’ll regret.

“Wow, you were a late bloomer,” Zach laughs as everyone starts to file into the room. I watch Callum avoid making eye contact with his mother as we all sit down to eat.

She does the same, and I can’t help but wonder just how much she saw of Zach and Callum and what exactly they were doing.

Have you ever been to one of those family dinners where the conversation is light and meaningless, but the room is filled with love and laughter?

Well, I hadn’t. Not until today. Sure, we had Christmas not too long ago, but that was different.

Today, I felt like a part of the family. I sat there, watching everyone eat and chat, with Ella latched onto my breast, nestled between my boys. And when she was done feeding, and I clumsily tucked my breast back under the oversized T-shirt I borrowed from Zach, she was passed around for more cuddles.

Just cuddles upon cuddles.

I watched Carla, Catherine, Liz, and Lynn bond with their granddaughter. They sat there, side by side, cooing at her as she lay there with her eyes wide open.

My baby already has something I never had.

A family.

A big one, at that.

The evening flew by, and before I knew it, we were all saying our goodbyes, leaving just the five of us. We made our way upstairs, and I made sure to swaddle Ella and put her in the crib so I wouldn’t be tempted to sleep with her again.

She was snug and quiet, already asleep when Tyler did something on the app that made the crib start rocking gently. The sound of ocean waves filled the quiet room.

“Let’s shower?” Zach suggested, pulling me toward the bathroom. I hesitated, not wanting to leave Ella, but also wanting to shower.

“It’s okay, Vi, I’ll stay with her,” Callum reassured me, so I had no reason to object. Zach was pulling me along, and the next thing I knew, I was standing in the bathroom. His T-shirt was discarded on the floor, along with the soft maternity bra.

Then he tugged my workout leggings down.

I blushed as he discovered the full brief panties and the large pad that was catching all the blood my body was expelling.

“Zach,” I protested, embarrassed, but he didn’t stop. He pulled my panties down, rolled up the pad, and tossed it in the bin Callum had brought up for me.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Vi,” he reassured me when he noticed my discomfort.

Tyler pressed against my back then, already naked, his skin warm against mine. His lips found the nape of my neck as he pushed my hair aside.

“Tyler,” I warned, but he didn’t listen.

Instead, his hands roamed around to my front until his thumb and fingers were rolling my nipples, making my head fall back against his chest. They were so sensitive that my back arched off his chest, and I let out a moan.

“Come on, the shower’s ready,” Zach called, and then we were stepping under the hot stream of water.

Zach washed me from the front, and Tyler from the back. It felt amazing until one of their hands reached my pussy, making it throb with need. But I knew I couldn’t have it.

“I can’t,” I managed to say, my voice barely audible over Zach’s passionate kiss.

“Sex might be off the table, but orgasms aren’t. Plus, I could always take care of you,” he suggested, stepping back and sinking to his knees, razor in hand.

Tyler lathered me up, creating a frothy layer of bubbles. Zach then took the razor, making one long, smooth stroke, then another, and another. He lifted one of my legs to rest over his shoulder, while Tyler kept himself busy with my nipples and neck.

“There, that’s more like it. I like you bare, Vi,” Zach said, looking up at me. He placed the razor back in the alcove where we kept our toiletries. His eyes sparkled with mischief, and his dimpled smile was wide on his face.

I expected him to stand up then, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled me under the shower stream, washing away the soap from my body. Then, his mouth found my clit.

He alternated between sucking and flicking his tongue over my sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Damn,” I gasped, my head falling back onto Tyler. I was on the brink when Zach pushed his fingers in so deep it was a mix of pain and pleasure.

“Zach,” I moaned, and he hummed in response. He sucked my clit into his mouth, almost pulsating it between sucks, and I tumbled over the edge, crying out so loudly they both chuckled.

“You’re insatiable, Vi,” Tyler whispered in my ear.

“Our turn,” Zach declared. I was guided to my knees by their feet. Zach stood up, and I was faced with both of their erections, ready for me to return the favor.

Maybe the next six weeks won’t be so bad after all.