Book Boyfriends Wanted 1: His Curvy Friend

The following week went by quickly. We skipped girls’ night Sunday because of Ms. Georgia’s party, so I avoided answering questions about Ian. Finley texted me to see if everything was okay, and I assured her it was. She didn’t push, and I didn’t offer anything. It was like my night with Ian never happened.

Maybe it was all a dream. That was what it felt like. He didn’t come in to Cracked while I was working, and I didn’t see him in town. Usually I ran into him once or twice a week, but I didn’t see him at all.

I had my shot at a night with Ian, and my mother ruined it. With zero remorse. The next day, she got up all happy and cheerful, smiling as she made breakfast. She had no idea what she interrupted or what she said to me. I wanted to hate her for it, but she was my mom.

Karissa told us her new app was live and asked us to all sign up. I’d never tried online dating, but I liked the idea of meeting a guy who reminded me of Westley from The Princess Bride. Hell, I just liked the idea of meeting a guy who would be there the next day. One who steamed my blood like Ian but stuck around like William.

Yeah, right. No guy like that was going to stick with someone like me. It wasn’t an accident I didn’t see Ian for a week. He went home and realized touching me was an accident. My challenge was going to be acting normal next time I saw him. Ugh. Normal left the building with his first kiss.

Damn him for making me think a guy like him could want a woman like me. Or that I deserved to have passion in my life that didn’t fade. A few hours with Ian Jameson and I was done. Ruined. No other man would do. Dammit.

It was my turn to bring dessert to girls’ night so I baked my better-than-sex chocolate cake. With moist, dense cake and sweet, rich cream cheese frosting, the cake was to die for. And in my experience, it really was better than sex. If it could talk to me, I’d seriously consider building a life with cake.

Finley and Karissa were approaching the door to Book Boyfriends Unlimited when I was. Finley groaned when she saw the cake through the container.

“Is that better-than-sex cake?”

I nodded. “It is. Since I’m not having any sex, I figured I could enjoy some cake.”

Karissa snorted. “It’s damn good cake, but I’d take the sex any day. It doesn’t stick to my ass.”

“Well…” Finley said with a smirk as she unlocked the door. “Sometimes it does.”

“Ew,” I blurted. “I don’t need to think about you doing that.”

“Doing what, Blakey? Anal sex is hot as fuck. There’s nothing wrong with it,” Finley said as we walked inside.

“Whoa,” Laura said from right behind us. “I clearly missed something.”

Karissa laughed. “I said I’d rather have sex than cake since it doesn’t stick to my ass. Finley said sometimes it does, and sweet, innocent, un-fucked Blake got freaked out.”

“I’m not sweet and innocent,” I said with a scowl.

“But un-fucked applies?” Finley asked sweetly.

I rolled my eyes at her. “We all know I’m not getting any.”

“And even when you were, it wasn’t that good,” Elise added, walking inside. “You didn’t sleep with Ian last weekend?”

The others gave her a wide-eyed look that told me they all agreed not to ask me about Ian.

“Whoops,” Elise said. “I mean, how was your week?”

I sighed. “No, I didn’t sleep with Ian. He walked me home, and that was it.”

“There’s no way you and Ian left O’Kelley’s together and didn’t do something. I saw the way you two were dancing. And the way he kissed you,” Karissa said.

I scoffed. “He kissed me because he thought William was trying to get back together with me or something. He was trying to get William to back off.”

“Why did he think that?” Laura asked.

I shrugged. “Because William showed up at the party. I told him there’s no way William wants to get back together.”

“My brother is not the type to make out on the dance floor. With anyone. For any reason,” Finley said with a toss of her chocolate hair.

I shrugged again, trying not to think too much about it. It might have been out of character for Ian, but nothing happened and nothing was going to happen. We kissed and he left when my mom showed up. End of story, end of opportunity.

“Has anyone gotten a match on Karissa’s app?” I asked, hoping they would grab on to the subject change.

“Ooh, yeah, have you?” Karissa asked. “I’ve been advertising it, but it can take a little while for something like this to catch on. We definitely need more men.”

“I mentioned it to Ian,” Finley said casually.

My gaze snapped to hers, and she smirked. The tilt of her head said she wasn’t done with the other conversation. My throat itched and my palms dampened. I didn’t want to tell Finley how close I got to having sex with her brother. When we were younger, she told me how weird it was when any of our friends said Ian was hot. I couldn’t imagine that changed just because we were in our thirties instead of teenagers.

“That’s awesome,” Karissa said. “I should ask him if I can put up a sign at Jameson Wooden Boats.”

Finley nodded. “I’m sure he won’t mind. He’s been talking it up to the people he sees.”

“I love your brother,” Karissa said.

A knock on the door stopped our conversation. Finley got up to see who it was while I cut the cake and handed out plates to everyone. When Finley came back, Trinity was with her.

“Hey,” I said to Trinity. “I’m so happy you decided to join us.”

“Thanks for the invite. It’s hard sitting around my apartment all week with no one to talk to,” Trinity said.

“I’m the same way,” Karissa said. “I try to take a walk on the waterfront every day and go out to eat a few times a week. It’s so much better than being locked away and feeling like a hermit.”

Trinity nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

“You guys should get together sometime, too,” Laura said. “Since you’re living and working in the same building. Go to each other’s apartments to work or something.”

Trinity and Karissa exchanged a look and shrugged. “We could do that.”

“Have you gotten Karissa’s new app yet?” Finley asked Trinity. “It’s a dating app based on the book boyfriends you wish were real.”

“Yeah?” Trinity asked. “That sounds awesome.”

“Thanks,” Karissa said with a grin. “I’m trying to get as many people to sign up as possible.”

Trinity nodded. “I could use all the help I can get. Most men take a look at my boobs and forget there’s more to me than that. And if I can meet more guys like Ian, I’m all for it.” She turned to me. “I’m sorry, again, for getting in between you guys. I had no idea you were starting something.”

“We’re not,” I said firmly. “Ian isn’t mine.”

Trinity narrowed her eyes. “He looked like he was. Or wants to be.”

I shook my head. “Ian doesn’t do relationships. He’s allergic to them. He’s a one and done kind of guy, and we’re done.”

“So, you did sleep with him,” Elise said with a wide grin. “I knew it.”

“No, I didn’t. I…we got interrupted. But I told him we weren’t having sex. We just kissed,” I said.

“We all saw you two kissing on the dance floor,” Elise said. “We want to know what happened when you left O’Kelley’s.”

I shrugged. “More of the same. He walked me home, told me to invite him in, and we kissed for a few minutes on my couch. Then he left. I haven’t seen him since.”

“Ouch. Sorry, hun,” Elise said.

“That sucks,” Karissa echoed.

I shrugged, trying not to get upset. It made no sense that I wanted to cry over a missed chance with Ian but barely cared when things ended after five years with William.

Finley took a bite of cake and changed the subject from my non-existent dating life to all the ways cake was better than men and book boyfriends were better than real ones. I sat back and let the conversation happen around me. I grabbed a second piece of cake and knew no one would care. I wasn’t going to be judged by my friends for how wide my hips were or how small my breasts were in comparison. They weren’t going to tell me I should stop eating or try something healthier or exercise more. They loved me for exactly who I was. And I had to be okay with that because it was very possible I wasn’t going to find the kind of love I read about in books. That kind of love was fun to dream about, but I’d never felt it in real life.

* * *

I hung around after the others left to help Finley clean up. She pulled out the small vacuum from the back to make sure no crumbs were left behind. We learned that the hard way.

I put the lid on my empty cake container and wiped down the table. Unused paper plates went back to the storage cabinet with the plastic silverware. I tied up the trash bag and took it outside, then grabbed the books Finley set aside for me. She always grabbed some of the new releases she thought I’d enjoy and put them aside for me to read.

I read the back cover of one with a beautiful sunset and a lighthouse off in the distance.

“That reminded me of our lighthouse,” Finley said. “It sounds good.”

I finished reading and nodded. “Yeah, it does. I need some sexy, happy stories right now.”

Finley chewed on her nail for a second then caught my gaze. “You know I’m okay with you and Ian together, right?”

I huffed a laugh and shook my head. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“I think I do.”

I shook my head again. “Really, nothing happened. We kissed, yeah, but…I know how Ian is. I’m not going to chase him or think he’s in love with me or whatever. He got caught up in the moment. I’m new to him. But he doesn’t go back. We both know that.”

Finley sighed. “But you do, Blake.”

I pressed my lips together and shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. They were really, really good kisses, but that’s all. I’m not going to put you in the middle of us. And if you see him, you can tell him I’m not going to be weird.”

“Why would you be weird?” she asked.

I shrugged again. “I’m not. But if he’s avoiding me, I don’t want it to be because he’s worried I’m going to be one of those girls who doesn’t let go. I know it was a one-night, one-time only thing. It’s done, and it’s fine.”

“Blake,” Finley said.

I didn’t want to look at her. She knew me too well. She would see how much I wanted to believe my words if I met her gaze. She would know I was full of shit but trying to be strong.

“Do you like my brother?” Finley asked softly.

I drew in a slow, unsteady breath. “I never did before, Finley. And this isn’t going to be a thing. Sharing a room with him…”

“That was months ago. Did something happen?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not. I mean, I walked in on him in the bathroom once, but I left. And—”

“What do you mean you walked in on him? What was he doing?”

I swallowed, my throat dry and scratchy. “Um, he was…he…I think he just jerked off when I walked in.”

“Did you see him? You know, his…It’s my brother. Don’t make me say it,” Finley said with a sickened look.

I laughed. “I won’t. And, um, yeah? He pulled his towel closed, but, um, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

I shook my head. “Why would I? I walked in on your brother and got dumped because William thought something happened.”

“Wait, what? William found out? How did William know about that?”

I drew in a breath and twisted my hair behind my shoulder. “He doesn’t know about that. He just convinced himself something happened with Ian and me since we shared a room. He broke up with me because of it.”

“Shit, Blake. Why didn’t you tell me all this? I’m your best friend.”

I shrugged. “I felt… I didn’t want to tell anyone. It was easier to tell everyone things ended because we weren’t right for each other. I didn’t want it to get back to Ian that William thought something happened. I didn’t want him to think I told William anything.”

Finley sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. Her gaze wandered as she processed everything. Finally, she shook her head and stood. “Ian won’t care what William thinks or said. He does care about you, though. He’d do anything for you, Blake.”

I nodded. “I know. I’m like another sister to him.”

Finley shook her head but didn’t argue. “I think you should tell him what happened with William.”

I shook my head. “He knows. I don’t think William ever said anything to anyone, but seeing us together… who knows. Either way, Ian and I are done.”

Finley opened her mouth to argue again but I cut her off.

“Fin, I know you mean well. You want me to be happy as much as I want you to be happy, but curvy girls and sexy boat builders don’t fit together. That’s just my reality. I’ve always been okay with it. There’s no reason for that to change.”

“I think you’re wrong, Blake. I think we’re amazing women and we all deserve sexy men who will love our curves.”

I smiled. “We are amazing, but we both know men who look like Ian usually judge women who look like us. We do deserve amazing men, and I hope we find them one day. I just don’t think your gorgeous, perpetually single brother is going to be that guy for me.”

She sighed. “You never know, Blake.”

I just smiled at her. I did know. And I couldn’t live in a dream world any longer.

* * *

On my walk home I remembered I was going to talk to Karissa about the mural. I should have already asked her, but I convinced myself if I had a concept drawn up, it might be easier for her to agree.

I walked by Cracked and into the square. The lights strung up on the pergola and the streetlights that lined the square gave me enough light to see the wall.

Cracked was scrawled on the side in peeling paint. The old brick had been painted a few times, with the previous layers showing through. When I was little, the wall had a picture of what was supposed to be the shoreline. It was kind of abstract and I never understood it.

The last painting was done when I was in middle school, about twenty years ago. It was simple with the name and MacKellar Cove, New York written on the side. I liked the simplicity of it, but I agreed with Earl that it needed to be spruced up a bit.

I just wasn’t entirely sure how to do it in a way that honored our small town and the woman who made the town feel like home to so many people.

I stared at the wall a little longer, then laid back on the grass. It was starting to get cool, but I welcomed the temperature. Talking about Ian heated me up, and that wasn’t ever a good thing. It was easy to let my imagination get carried away, but my heart was dangerously close to following after dancing with him and kissing him. I didn’t blame any of the women who ended up in his bed. Not after being on the receiving end of Ian Jameson’s flirty side.

Laying there wasn’t doing me any good. I stood and made my way through my sleepy little town alone. It was well past dark by the time I got home. My small house was quiet and dark and reminded me of walking in with Ian’s arms wrapped around me.

Yep. He definitely ruined other men for me. Damn him.