Goddess Isles Book 4: Fourth a Lie

Sullivan

OF COURSE, SHE WAS there, waiting for me with imploring eyes, eager arms, and tangible fucking love.

Of course, she ran down the beach with my two parrots flying beside her and leaped fearlessly into my arms.

Of course, she hugged a fucking monster who only had murder on his mind. A man covered in blood and brain, decorated with fur and charred flesh.

A man who reeked of death and wore the cloak of the Grim Reaper himself, ready to repay the dismembered body parts to his brother.

But…

Her touch.

Her scent.

Her warmth.

It broke me.

Motherfucking broke me because I’d been so steadfast in my conviction. So black and white with my choice to send her away…for good.

She was too breakable in my current condition.

She was too much for me to survive.

But…

How?

How the fuck was I supposed to say goodbye?

She’ll die if she stays.

By your hand or his.

I flinched at the agonizing reminder. I jerked at my repeating nightmare.

“Everything you love dies, Sinclair. Everything you treasure is gone. That’s your true curse. The one you can never run from.”

Fuck, it made me angry.

Angrier than all my animals being blown to smithereens.

It made me rage worse than ever before because love was supposed to be the miracle of life. The one thing everyone chased relentlessly. The hardwired, unavoidable quest for a mate.

I’d found mine.

I knew the value of what I held.

I craved her kiss like a worthless addict.

I want to keep her.

But…

Her love made me weak.

My love made me powerless.

She was the catalyst of my ruin.

And that could never happen.

“Sully…please, hug me back.” Her face pressed into my t-shirt that’d soaked up the lives of so many carnivores, herbivores, and innocence.

She willingly shared the pyre my body had become, trying to offer me solace.

Her love threatened to create another form of weakness. The urge to buckle in the sand and allow her to soothe away the decay in my nose and the carnage in my mind.

I wanted to strip her, fill her, love her until I’d driven out the memories.

But that was selfish.

Once again proving me unworthy because when the time came for me to stand up for my creatures, I turned greedy just like any man.

“Let go of me, Jinx.” My voice betrayed me. Curt and full of glass, my heartbreak crystal shards by my feet.

She shook her head, her gorgeous chocolate hair sticking to dried sinew and slaughter. “Don’t do this, Sully. Please, don’t.”

How did she know?

How had she figured me out so quickly, accepted me so unconditionally, prepared to battle with me so fiercely?

I stiffened.

My mask threatened to slip. A mask that’d been firmly positioned to hide my trauma of Serigala, my hate of mankind, and my love for a goddess who’d broken me.

My arms twitched to claim her.

My tongue teased with the vow that whatever happened, I wouldn’t end what we’d found.

I would keep her.

Forever.

Because I was desperate for the peace she could offer me.

But my peace would come at a price.

And I’d just spent my day shoveling up the remains of those who believed my affection came without strings.

I clenched my teeth; my gruesome, filthy hands rose and latched around her shoulders.

I pushed her away from me.

I stared into her graceful grey gaze, and I prepared to destroy the final thing that kept me human.

“This is goodbye, Eleanor—”