Forbidden Men Book 4: With Every Heartbeat

QUINN

After I reassured Zoey Blakeland that Ten wouldn’t start any fights without me, her lips loosened with a relieved smile. My stomach followed suit, loosening with its own relief.

I had desperately wanted Cora’s friend to like me. Cora had told me about Zoey’s past, her strict, abusive father, her shielded homeschooled upbringing, her shy demeanor. I had felt like a kindred soul to her the moment I’d learned of her because I could too easily relate to a lot of words Cora had used to describe her. I’d actually been hoping I could maybe, possibly, I don’t know...finally talk to someone else who understood some the things I’d been through.

But then stupid, idiot Belcher had shown me that picture of my friend Noel’s girlfriend topless, and yeah...Zoey Blakeland’s first impression of me was shoving him against a wall.

Awesome.

She probably thought I was exactly like her father. She’d certainly shied away from me quickly enough when I’d merely walked toward her. Now I was going to have to work double-time to convince her that was the first time I’d ever shoved anyone anywhere. I was the least violent person I knew. I mean, I had been...until tonight.

My hands were still shaking, surprised by how quickly I’d manhandled the baseball player. But Noel was one of the few friends I had. I couldn’t handle anyone disrespecting his girlfriend by showing off topless pictures of her.

Realizing I was actually capable of such violence messed with my head, though. Made me worry what I might be truly capable of doing.

“So, uh...” I didn’t know what to say to Cora’s new roommate. The first thing to pop into my mind was that she was early. We weren’t planning for her to make it into town until Sunday evening. But I thought mentioning that would make her feel as if I didn’t want her here, when the idea of Cora having her best friend on hand was actually nice.

Unprepared for this, I scratched the back of my head. “Cora’s this way,” I said and started for a back hall I used a lot to avoid running into too many people, but then I wondered if I’d freak her out by taking her into a long, dark hallway alone. So I changed directions, except she’d already been following me to go the other way, and we collided into each other.

“Sorry.” I grabbed her shoulders to keep her from toppling over.

She might be tall for a girl, but she was still a dainty thing. I was like a big, bumbling buffoon next to her sleek, willowy frame. Feeling her all soft and pliable under my hands made her seem extra feminine and sweet, which in turn made me more aware of how male I was, which was...awkward.

Really awkward.

She smelled good, too. I caught myself leaning in to catch another whiff so I could figure out what the heck that scent was. I stopped cold when she looked up at me with big seafoam green eyes.

And oh...wow.

I totally didn’t mean to freeze, but I was thunderstruck, and I paused for way too long of a second.

Great, now she was going to think I was coming on to her or something. She’d have Cora talked out of dating me within the hour.

My hands jerked off her as if she’d scalded me. My ears burned with humiliation while I cleared my throat. “You okay?” When she nodded, I did too, motioning us back toward the crowded part of the frat house. “We, uh, we should probably take this way.”

I was trying too hard. I always flubbed things up whenever I wanted to impress someone. My stress levels rose, I paid too much attention to every little thing I did and said, and I became so self-conscious my stutter usually returned.

Refusing to say a word so I could at least keep that little embarrassment under control, I led Zoey into the next room where noise and the bustling activity of a college party assaulted us. She inched closer to me, which was nice, since it meant she wasn’t flat-out afraid of me, but I told myself she did it because the place was cramped; there was honestly nowhere else for her to go.

When some drunkard stumbled backward into her, she gasped and grabbed my wrist, smashing her side into mine. I curled a protective arm around her and used my free hand to nudge the drunk away. She didn’t pull away from me, so I kept her flush against me and led her to my girlfriend.

Cora was exactly where I’d last seen her, dancing to some hip-hop song with two guys who were laughing and talking with her above the music between all the Jell-O shots they were downing. Eyes closed, she lifted her hands above her head, swished her hair around her face and rotated her hips in a way that reminded me of the first night we’d met. The night I’d lost my virginity.

“There,” I said, pointing her out. I freed Zoey so she could go to Cora. But she didn’t leave my side.

Her mouth fell open as she gawked openly, moving her face forward as if she didn’t believe her own eyes. “Is...” Her mouth moved a few more times before she looked up at me. “Is she drunk?”

I froze, not sure how to answer. But, oh, boy.

Apparently, those two had a lot of catching up to do.

Instead of saying anything, I left her and eased through the dancers to catch Cora’s elbow. When she turned and saw me, her face brightened, which always lit me up inside. I couldn’t explain how nice it was to be with someone who was always happy to see me.

“Quinn!” she cheered, vaulting herself against me and looping her arms around my neck. “Are you finally going to dance with me?” When she lifted onto her toes to kiss me, I kissed her back.

I liked it better when she was doing shots instead of sucking down beer. Tasted better. Plus the smell of beer haunted me with too many bad memories. As her tongue slid against mine, I decided tonight’s Jell-O of choice must’ve been cherry.

Cora definitely knew how to make cherry my favorite flavor.

“Your friend’s here,” I said, pulling away to call into her ear above the music and licking the last hint of cherry off my bottom lip.

She frowned up at me, obviously confused. So I pointed out Zoey, who was still hovering in the same spot I’d left her, arms crossed over her chest as if she were cold...or scared out of her mind.

“Oh my God. Zoey!” Deserting me, Cora lifted her arms over her head and shook them excitedly as she wove through people to reach her friend. Swooping in, she gave Zoey a huge hug, to which Zoey couldn’t really hug her back because Cora had pinned her arms to her sides. “I can’t believe you’re really here. This is so exciting. We’re going to have the best year ~ever~.”

When she pulled away, she grabbed Zoey’s hand. “Come on. Let’s dance.”

Zoey’s eyes went huge and her head began to swish back and forth. I knew the last thing she wanted to do was dance. In fact, I knew she wanted to get out of this place. Bad. The way she kept glancing around with such apprehension reminded me of how I’d felt a year ago when Noel had invited me to my first party.

He’d been the big star, the first-string quarterback for the football team, and I’d been a lowly freshman nobody. An invitation from him hadn’t been something I could turn down. I had wanted to fit in and feel normal, so I’d sucked up all my anxieties and gone.

I’d hated every minute of that loud, overbearing frat house.

And I still hated parties, but my girl loved them, so I kept taking her to them, which made her happy and in turn, made me happy. But that didn’t mean I didn’t totally sympathize with Zoey. She wanted to leave, so I was going to help her escape.

I caught Cora’s shoulder before she could tug Zoey too far away. “She’s probably too tired to dance. She had to have driven all day to get here.”

Cora paused and glanced back at Zoey, who quickly bobbed her head up and down. “Do you mind if I just get my key and find the apartment?”

“Of course not.” Cora was usually easily to convince of anything when she was drunk. She grinned at Zoey and looped their arms together. “I’ll go with you and help you settle in.”

Though Zoey looked relieved by the suggestion, I scratched my ear with unease.

“Uh...” I spoke up before I meant to. But I could already see where that offer was headed. Cora could never stay awake during a car ride after she’d been drinking. Besides, we had come here together in her car—hers because she hated having to climb up into my truck when she was wearing a short tight skirt like the one she had on now.

Both women glanced at me, so I thought up something quick to say. “I can follow you guys in Cora’s car.” And after that, I’d probably help Zoey carry a passed-out Cora up to their apartment.

Cora sent me a big, bright smile. “Sounds great. Let’s go.”

I was silent as Cora took off, easily gliding through the crowds while she dragged Zoey along. From behind, they could’ve been sisters. Heck, twins. Their hair was the same pale blonde and roughly the same length. Well, Zoey’s was actually up in a ponytail, but it seemed as if it was probably about as long as Cora’s. They had the same build and even the same height, though Cora was in heels, which meant Zoey was probably a little taller, placing her around five ten.

Chattering the whole time, Cora steered us through the maze of people before we reached the exit. I drew in a deep breath, glad to be free of that crammed place. Slipping my phone free of my pocket, I texted Ten.

I’m out. Making sure the girls get home okay. Behave yourself.

I should’ve known he’d have something obnoxious to reply. And he did: Girls? Plural? You are so the man. Give me every detail tomorrow.

With a sigh, I declined to respond. He’d probably only come up with something cruder to say. So I pocketed the phone as we came to a brand new, silver Lexus. Zoey unlocked it with her key fob and made the lights flash in welcome. I slowed to a startled stop.

For some reason, when Cora had talked about her best friend, I’d pictured Zoey Blakeland as a little more destitute...like I’d been. Everything else about her childhood has seemed so similar to mine; it had made sense for me to think she was just as poor as I’d been. But Cora had come from a well-to-do home, so it also made sense that her friend might too. It just surprised me to discover she drove something so nice.

As Cora climbed into the passenger seat as if she’d already forgotten about me, Zoey paused and sent me a hesitant glance.

I shifted a step back. “I, uh...Cora’s car is just around the corner. I guess I’ll see you guys there.”

Zoey nodded but waited until I’d backed up a couple more paces before she slid into the driver’s seat. I watched, blowing out a long breath. Then I lingered until she’d started the engine and pulled away from the curb before I turned away. My gut roiled uneasily, certain I’d flubbed up my one and only chance to befriend Cora’s new roommate.

As the taillights disappeared around the corner, I finally tracked down Cora’s Maserati, a little red convertible I felt like an ape driving because I could barely fit behind the wheel. She loved to drive fast, and could zip it around town well, but there was no way I could afford to get it fixed if I ever damaged it, so I never drove it as recklessly as she did.

After safely stowing it in the gated parking garage connected to her high-rise apartment building, I pocketed the keys and glanced around for the silver Lexus.

Zoey looked a little frantic when she waved me over. “Uh...”

“She passed out on the way home?” I guessed. When I got a nod for my answer, I smiled. “No problem. I can carry her.”

“Does she do that a lot?” Zoey bit the corner of her lip as she worriedly dogged my heels to the passenger side door. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. She does this every time we go out.” I sent Zoey a smile to reassure her before I undid Cora’s seat belt and slid her out into my arms. I was used to the process by now. When her head fell limply on my shoulder, Zoey gaped wide-eyed.

Then she shook her head. “Oh, here. Let me get...” She rushed to shut the door and scurried around me as if to hurry ahead and open the door of the building, but Henry the doorman, beat her to it.

“Evening, Mr. Hamilton. Had another hard night of partying, I see.”

While he shook his head with a fatherly kind of disappointment, I offered him a rueful grin. “Hey, Henry.” I turned sideways to fit Cora’s slumped form through the doorway.

When Zoey followed us in, Henry paused, narrowing his eyes slightly.

I stopped. “This is Zoey Blakeland. She’s Cora’s new roommate.”

“Oh.” Relaxing immediately, Henry’s face softened into a smile. He made a production of taking Zoey’s hand and bowing over it. “It’s a pleasure, Miss Blakeland. You ever need anything, you just ask me, you hear?”

Zoey blushed and nodded before slipping her hand free. “Thank you.”

She followed me to the elevator, where I pushed the button with my shoulder. Once the three of us were closed inside with Cora quietly snoring on my shoulder, Zoey cleared her throat. “Um...which floor?”

I shook my boggled head. Right. I’d forgotten she didn’t know where we were going. “Sorry. Eighth.”

As the floor lifted under us, an uncomfortable silence filled the quiet car. I resituated Cora in my arms because it felt as if she were slipping a little, but that still left me with more time than I liked before we arrived at our destination.

Offering Zoey an overly bright smile, I said, “I can help you carry some boxes in tonight if you need.”

Her eyes went wide as if I’d suggested something scandalous before she shook her head adamantly. “Oh, no. That’s okay. I’ll just...I’m going to wait until tomorrow.”

Crap, I’d forgotten again. She must be exhausted from all her driving. Once more, I came close to asking her why she’d showed up early. Had her father done something to prompt her into leaving prematurely? Was she okay?

The elevator stopped and the door opened. I cleared my throat, motioning her with my head to go first. “Here we are.”

She stepped into the hall and then paused, letting me take the lead and reminding me all over again she had no idea where she was going. I wished Cora hadn’t drank so much. She should be the one to show Zoey around and introduce her to the place. Not inept me.

“This is us.” I slowed in front of the door marked 8E on a brass plaque.

When I sent her an expectant glance, she shifted from one foot to the other and winced. “Umm, I haven’t actually gotten a key yet.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” I flushed, knowing I should’ve realized that. But I hadn’t even thought it through.

Why had my brain turned to mush tonight?

Usually, I tucked Cora’s keys between my teeth when I had to carry her home. Then I’d just drop them into my hand to unlock her door when we reached her place. Tonight, I’d had it stuck in my head that Zoey could get us in, so I’d—

Oh, no.

My stomach plummeted with doom as I met Zoey’s gaze. “Her keys are in my pocket.”

Her eyes went wide and lowered to my hip as we both realized the conundrum of our problem.

“I’ll just...” I tried to readjust Cora on my shoulder so I could hold her with one hand and release the other long enough to pull the keys free. But as soon as I let one hand go, her limp body began to nosedive, so I quickly grabbed hold of her again with both arms to catch her.

Next, I tried to half prop, half squish her against the wall to free a hand, but that didn’t work either. I couldn’t pass her over to Zoey—no way would she be able to hold Cora’s weight. I was about to just sit Cora on the floor against the wall when Zoey let out a loud sigh.

“This is crazy. Just...which pocket?”

My gaze slid her way, and I froze. I didn’t want her hand to go down my pocket...because the very idea affected me. It affected me in ways it totally shouldn’t.

And great, I was already reacting. But it’d probably take me more time than I wanted, stuck out here in the hallway with her alone, with nothing but my passed-out girlfriend between us, when it’d only be hand-in, hand-out, door-unlocked, and we were done, if I just let her get the key. So I exposed my left side to her.

“L...left side.” My voice was hoarse.

She had to dodge past one of Cora’s limp dangling hands. I don’t know why I felt so compelled to watch her face, but I did as she bit her lip and gingerly wedged her fingers into my pocket.

Down, down, down...

I wasn’t the type to wear tight jeans, or even snug denim, so the keys had fallen all the way to the bottom of my pocket. She had to step in closer before she slid her hand even further...down. The warmth of her fingers immediately soaked through the cloth and heated my thigh. Another certain member of my anatomy took notice of how close she was getting to it and it woke up, twitching with interest, which made me grit my teeth.

The moment Zoey finally wrapped her hand around the key, she slid her gaze to mine and froze. Her eyes were so big and green and innocent, I couldn’t look away.

It was only for a second that we stared at each other, but it felt like an eternity. It was certainly long enough for my penis to go from merely perking one eye open with interest to springing to full attention and ready for duty.

I was so glad I was holding Cora and hiding everything that was going on down there, because this had to be the worst first impression I was ever having on anyone. And to make matters worse, her smell wafted up between us, making me curious all over again what that scent was.

I closed my eyes, trying to block all the senses in my body that were unwillingly going crazy, and then I held my breath.

Zoey gasped. I don’t know if she realized how much she was affecting me, or how much she was dawdling, but she jerked the keys from my pocket, nearly taking a chunk of denim with her in her haste, and then spun away fiddling with key after key until she found the right one.

“The, uh, the light switch is to the right,” I said as the door swung open.

Zoey nodded and disappeared inside. A moment of silence followed before Cora’s front room flooded with light.

“Oh!” Zoey turned from the switch she’d just flipped on. “That feels...strange there.”

“Yeah.” I offered her a stiff smile. “That’s what I always thought, too.” Since the door opened to the left, it would’ve been much more convenient to have the switch on the left side.

Zoey stayed standing by the closed front door as I headed for the hallway. I glanced back at her to find her looking around uneasily like a stranger in a strange place. Heart going out to her because she seemed so uncertain, I cleared my throat.

“So, this is the front room. The kitchen is down the hallway here.” When I turned back and started walking, I heard her hurry after me. “There’s a bathroom here, and then another one at the other end of the hall. And Cora has a personal bath.” I kept walking, tipping my head toward various doorways. “That one is your room. The next is the office and storage, and across from it is Cora’s.”

At Cora’s room, I backed in, using my shoulder to nudge her door open. Then I dipped to flip on the light switch with my elbow. Cora didn’t even stir as I tucked her into bed. I usually put her on top of the bedding first, then made her comfortable before I pulled the sheets out from under her and covered her up. Thinking nothing of it, I slid off her high heels, unbuckling the delicate tiny straps first. Then I worked my way up and began to unbutton the top clasp to her skirt’s zipper when a gasp came from the doorway.

I looked up to find a wide-eyed Zoey in the doorway, gaping at me as if I was trying to take advantage of the passed-out drunk chick on the bed.

My face heated as I jerked my hands away from Cora’s skirt. “I was just...” I cleared my throat and jammed my fingers into my pockets. “I-I’ll let you see to her comfort from there.” I glanced one last time at Cora, restraining myself from the need to strip her down to her panties. She hated to sleep in clothes, and I hated knowing she was going to wake up feeling suffocated.

But a pair of appalled, wide green eyes compelled me to step away from her. Zoey scurried out of the doorway as I approached. In the hallway, I paused and ripped a hand out of my pocket to rub it uneasily across the back of my head. “Do you, uh, do you have everything you need for the night?”

I have no idea what I was really asking, but it felt wrong to leave her here like this in a place that was foreign to her without making sure she was okay.

She nodded and glanced into Cora’s room. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Oh. Yeah.” I grinned sheepishly as I turned back to study Cora. “Sure. She’ll sleep for the rest of the night, and probably late into the morning. Usually water, ibuprofen, and a little breakfast makes her feel best after she wakes up.”

Instead of looking reassured, Zoey shook her head and frowned. “But she shouldn’t be drinking that much. It’s not—”

When she broke off directly and squinted at me as if picking apart my brain and seeing what I was thinking, I tipped my head to the side, wondering what she would’ve said if she’d finished that sentence.

“It’s not what?”

Zoey straightened her back and drew in a breath. “Nothing.” Her eyes were filled with concern as she glanced in at Cora, though.

I felt as if I was being left out of a secret, but I was usually paranoid about people thinking the worst of me and keeping things from me, so I pushed my qualms aside.

Neither of us spoke for a good thirty seconds, so I blew out a breath. “I’m gonna...yeah.” I hooked my thumb over my shoulder and motioned down the hall toward the exit. “I’m going to go then.”

“Okay,” she said and nodded once more. She was big on nodding. Not so much on talking. But then, I was exactly the same.

I stepped in reverse away from her as I sent her a small smile. With a little farewell wave, I said, “Welcome to Ellamore. It was nice to meet you.”

“Thank you. You too.” She averted her gaze as color flooded her cheeks.

At first, I empathized. There was nothing I hated more than blushing, which I did more than I wanted to. It was one of those horrifyingly embarrassing reactions that came when you were caught thinking or doing something you knew you shouldn’t and making matters worse by letting everyone else around you know it.

But then it struck me that she was thinking something she knew she shouldn’t be. All I’d said was that it was nice to meet her. I don’t think even Ten could’ve found a way to turn that into a dirty thought, which meant...her body had just responded in a way she hadn’t wanted it to.

Whew. My sympathy turned to relief, glad she was also feeling the unwanted attraction between us. It’d been awful thinking I was experiencing it all one-sided. But to know it was shared was a relief. Except...wait.

Unease finally struck. Oh, no. This was not good. Poor, innocent Cora was lying mere feet away while her boyfriend and best friend were experiencing vibes for each other? How wrong was that? I needed to get out of here...like five minutes ago.

“’Night,” I mumbled, stumbling around so I could haul butt for the door.

I hardly ever felt instant attraction to women. I’d grown crushes on girls over the years after getting to know them or watching them for a while, but Cora had been the first to give me an instant punch in the gut the first moment I’d seen her. It didn’t seem possible that her best friend would be able to draw the same exact reaction from me.

While I drove home, my fifteen-year-old truck trying to rattle apart around me, I realized one awful fact. As much as I’d been hoping to connect with someone who’d shared a similar past, I wasn’t going to be able to make friends with Zoey Blakeland after all. I was going to have to keep my distance from her instead.