A sense of unease washed over me as I woke up. My eyes were still shut. I was nestled next to someone; I snuggled closer to the warm body, but a nagging feeling in my heart persisted. I was overlooking something crucial. My eyes fluttered open. The room was bathed in a soft glow as light filtered through the curtains.
I took a moment to study the person sharing the bed with me. What the hell? Why was he here and where was my son? As far as I was aware, it was always Rollin who slept next to me, not Alaric. I quickly got out of bed and checked the crib, but Rollin wasn’t there. A wave of panic started to rise, but I tried to keep it at bay. Maybe Wendy or Ophelia had him.
Standing there by the crib, reality sucker-punched me. All the memories came flooding back. Olivia was… No, I couldn’t accept it. She had her whole life ahead of her. The Moon Goddess wouldn’t be so cruel, would she?
And who could be heartless enough to kill her? Olivia was harmless. She was a good girl. She was my sister. The past tense stung because it finally hit me that it was all real. She was gone, reduced to a mere memory.
The moment I found the person responsible for ending her life, they were going to wish they hadn’t. Regardless of the circumstances, I would have been on my way to them, but I heard that the entire family was coming here. That was a relief.
I couldn’t believe Phineas was capable of this; he had held me captive, yes, but killing without reason was against his nature. He was a rogue alpha, but he wouldn’t stoop this low. Maybe I was insane for defending a man who had injected me with wolfsbane, or perhaps this Phineas was one seriously pissed-off SOB.
His beef was with Alaric, not the other packs. This didn’t add up. Phineas being involved in this didn’t fit the puzzle.
Why did I leave my home and stay here? If I had been there, Olivia would still be alive. She was alone when it happened. Now that Madison was mated, she had no one to confide in. Or maybe if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own issues, I would have asked her to stay here with me. If I hadn’t been so self-absorbed, I would have noticed her loneliness and done something about it.
The thought brought a flood of tears to my eyes. I was so angry with myself. Angry that I had let her down, that I hadn’t noticed. I felt awful. My legs ached, and so did every other part of my body as I sobbed. My heart felt like it was being crushed. This was my fault.
“Laika,” Alaric called. I turned to face him, not bothering to wipe my tears. There was no point in pretending to be strong when all I felt was despair. I was in pain, and worse, I loathed myself.
Alaric walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my small frame when he reached me. I hugged him back. I needed someone to lean on.
“This is my fault,” I admitted.
“What do you mean?” he asked, his arms still around me, providing a safe haven, my head resting on his chest.
“I should’ve known she was alone. Why did I stay here in the first place? It’s my fault she’s gone.”
“Laika.” He pulled away, holding me at arm’s length.
“Whatever happened wasn’t your fault, but the fault of the person who did this. You couldn’t have known this was going to happen,” he reasoned. A part of me agreed with him, but the guilt was so overpowering, it held me captive.
“I abandoned her,” I said.
“You didn’t, and if you were there, you would be dead too.”
“I would’ve protected her!” Olivia didn’t know how to fight. If I had been there with her, we would have stood a chance.
“You don’t know that, Laika.” He was right, and it hurt to admit it. It hurt knowing that no matter how much I blamed myself, she was never coming back. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. If I had been there, things might have been different.
“It’s not your fault.”
I looked down. Olivia was gone, and in that moment, I realized that no amount of regret or tears would bring her back.
“Do you understand?”
I nodded. He stepped back, and I felt an overwhelming urge to pull him back to me.
“You can take a shower and I will bring you food,” he said, but before he left, he closed the gap between us and kissed my forehead.
I watched him leave, and the door closed behind him. I had been in a hopeless situation a year ago. I should have been immune to the feeling, but I wasn’t. It was agonizing to know that there was nothing I could do to bring back someone I loved. It tore me apart knowing her life was over, that it was destiny or fate, and I had no control over either. But what I could control was finding the bastard who killed her and making him suffer a death beyond his worst nightmares.
