How (Not) To Date A Jock

MATTHEW

Chicken shit.

That was what he should be calling himself. Matthew closed the lid of his laptop before tossing it on his bed. He grabbed the back of his shirt, peeling it from his body before discarding it into the laundry basket.

The boys had a big win tonight. A win that had them right on track for the regionals. Good for them. He meant it. He was actually really happy for the team. He only wished it included him.

They invited him to go out.

They did. They considered him part of the team. He didn’t think it was right. His presence would sour the mood and take away from their moment. They didn’t need to tiptoe around him.

Ding!

Oh. That was his phone…not his laptop. So not Emily. Emily who he could only IM through the school’s messaging system since…she never gave him her phone number. He didn’t ask.

Most of the team didn’t bring it up around him. Luke didn’t care. They’d met on the first day of school, two years back. Luke had a no bullshit attitude that Matthew loved. Even now, he didn’t shy away from telling it like it was.

Liar, pants on fire.

Canceling Emily, but telling Luke he was seeing Emily. Wonderful. Thank God these two didn’t talk or he’d be in trouble.

A shower might help ease his mind and help him forget about this mess. He dragged himself into the bathroom, turning the water as hot as possible. He often got pain in his legs now, so this helped. Or burned off the flesh. Both were good.

He stepped into the shower, letting the scalding water run down his chest. Matthew ran a hand through his hair, feeling the tension leave his body. Unfortunately, glancing down also had him looking at his legs.

It wasn’t bad, really. He didn’t like it. It was a reminder he didn’t need. Still fresh pink wounds that would one day turn into white scars.

Maybe others couldn’t tell they were stabbing marks, he could tell. He could remember the blade going through his skin. Fucking Scott.

He tried to focus on the water and not the thoughts in his mind. He didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to relive the past. The memories were still there. Sometimes they would just come to him, unannounced.

He could see Scott’s face in the shower, grinning at him. He could feel Scott’s hands gripping his skin, and taking his dream from him by messing up his legs. He could smell his own blood as it flowed from his wounds.

No, no. The doctor…the doctor said he’d run again one day.

So he would.

One day.

Matthew closed his eyes, tilting his head back, hoping it would chase away the thoughts. Minutes ticked by, the bathroom filling up with steam. The heat soothed his muscles and warmed his body. The shower had a way of making his problems feel a little smaller.

His hands slid across his skin, running over the scarred marks on his thighs. He was thankful no one would have to see them.

Matthew wasn’t an idiot. He knew the stares people gave him. He heard their whispers.

Ding! Dong!

Was that—the doorbell?

Matthew opened his eyes, leaning into the shower curtain as he waited. Ding! Dong!

Fucking hell. He cursed under his breath, turning off the shower. Matthew stepped out, grabbing the first towel he could find and wrapping it around his waist. It had better be important.

Matthew tumbled down the stairs, yanking the door open, water dripping all over the place. “What?”

“Hm—I, I probably should go.”

Fuck. Why was she here? “Emily?”

They hadn’t talked much since he…was a little too truthful. He thought she’d be thrilled he canceled.

“Sorry—I just—I thought maybe, we could study here…I. It was a bad idea.” Staring. She was doing a lot of staring. “I-I, I-’ll go.” Smooth.

At first, he had been shocked, then mad at himself and now—now he was finding it hard not to smirk. She was checking him out. Many lines were burning his lips, and he was barely holding himself back from saying one of them.

Well—”You can stay for the show,” he said before winking at her.

And slap. “You jerk.” He was pretty sure slapping his wet chest hurt her more than it hurt him.

“I’m kidding.”

“I was—concerned.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Worried about me?”

“Well, I—I wanted to uphold my end of the deal. Can’t let you flake on me.”

Nice recovery, he had to admit. “Look, I just—had some things to do here.” He hadn’t been in a socializing mood, but she was here…and she was staring at him. “But I guess I could study.”

“Are you saying yes because I’m here?”

Wow, she called it as she saw it. “No, I’m saying yes because I should study.” He did not have it in him to turn her around. It was one thing to cancel her over instant messaging, but it was a whole other one to do it in her face.

What was the harm? At least the house would not feel as empty as earlier.

“Come on in,” he finally said as he moved out of the way. Emily nodded before walking in. “Wanna get started?”

“Sure, as soon as you put some clothes on.”

Right, he was naked. “I don’t know, it’s pretty comfy,” he said with a smirk. “You should try it.”

She narrowed her eyes jokingly. “I think you’re naked enough for the both of us.”

“You win.” He said as he brought a hand to his towel, holding it in place.

That little gesture caused her to look down at his stomach. And her eyes never traveled back up again. She was gawking. He couldn’t help it. He had to enjoy the moment and take advantage.

“Are you sure you want me to get dressed?”

Her cheeks were tainted red and she was forced to turn her head away. “I’ll—I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“I’ll be a minute,” he said to deaf ears. He did not expect her to answer.

Today might turn out to be a little funner than anticipated.

***

“So where’s everyone?”

Yeah, he was right. There it was. The real reason why he had been staying home, canceling on her.

“Oh, out.” Out, celebrating their victory. Out being a team together—while he was here.

“And Matthew did not want to go out?”

He chuckled. “Oh, Matthew is a party animal now?”

“We’ll he does talk about himself in the third person.”

“You got me.” And he had canceled on her? He was glad she was too stubborn to listen. It was another thing he liked about her.

Liked?

Seriously?

What was he? A third-grader?

“Are you okay?”

Serious conversations about stuff he was actively avoiding? He liked that a little less. He figured she knew most of it…it wasn’t exactly hidden news. And it ~was~ the first result when searching for him.

“I’m great.”

“Matthew—I.”

“Emily, I’m fine.”

“I mean, I know you can’t run right now.”

“Yeah, right now.”

Even he did not believe it. How was he supposed to make her believe it? Also, why was she bringing it up?

“Sorry about showing up… I would have texted but… I mean… you were offline on IM… and then… I thought. Well no—okay. I’ll be honest.”

The rambling wasn’t inspiring any confidence in him.

“I messaged Luke. He told me you were here.”

Of course he did. Was that why Luke had messaged him too? Man, he needed to have a talk with him soon. So he would stop meddling in shit that didn’t concern him.

“Guess it would be easier if I had your number.”

“I would have asked for yours sooner, but, I got scared I’d get slapped,” he said, hoping the joke would defuse the situation. They didn’t have to get into it. She didn’t need to know he was avoiding the team.

“It was well deserved.”

“Really? I don’t think you can blame me. I suffer from PTSD.”

“From?”

“From this strange girl who assaulted me at a party.”

Emily’s expression dropped and he frowned. He was making a joke, why was she reacting so strongly? “Sorry about that.”

“About what?” he inquired, leaning back into the chair.

“Using you without your permission.”

No way he heard her right…she was upset because she thought she used him?

“You’re sorry…about kissing me?”

“Yeah…”

“I asked for seconds for a reason,” he said with a wink.

She blushed hotly and suddenly, she couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. At least he set the record straight.

“So you messaged Luke, and came looking for me. And found me naked.”

“In a towel.”

“Same difference.”

“Not really.”

“So, have I finally swooned you?” She raised an eyebrow. “You came here because you couldn’t survive without me,” he pointed out with a smirk.

“As a friend, I was concerned you were skipping out on your tutoring.”

Ouch.

“Woo, we’re friends now? This might be going a little too fast for me.”

“That’s all I had to do to get rid of you? Commitment?”

Okay, no, never this hurt a little more. No, he wasn’t chasing down long-term relationships but—to paint him in this light…

“You’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that if you wanna get rid of me.”

“There’s still time.”

“Hey—we have a deal. You tutor me and I make you help you do something resembling running.”

“Right.”

Emily didn’t usually hold back while talking to him so… Fine. If she wasn’t going to be up front…

“Did something happen?”

“The other day… I—ran into him.”

He winced.

“I should be fine, it’s been months. It’s called moving on. Yes, I’ve heard it before.”

“Actually,” he began before pausing for a bit. “I was just gonna call him an idiot.”

She scoffed. “You don’t know him or me. Maybe he was right to do what he did.”

“Doubt it.”

“I might be the worst girlfriend in the world.”

“Emily, trust me, the only logical explanation for him dumping a girl like you is that he’s a complete moron.”

She rolled her eyes before dropping her focus on her book. Avoiding. Again. He pressed his tongue against his palate.

“Can I ask you something?” You could shut your mouth. Yeah, he should do that, but he was never good at it.

“Sure.”

“Do you want him back?”

“No.” She popped her lips. “Why does he know you?”

He was about to ask that question— but a little differently. “What?”

“He asked me about you. No, well, he told me to stay away from you.”

“He might be jealous.” Now he didn’t have to bring it up like he was the jealous one. Cole painted himself in a bad light all on his own. “You know, I don’t mind offering you more than running lessons.”

“What?”

“It’s okay not to be the bigger person all the time.” He couldn’t be how he wanted. Legal ramifications and all. Despite being the victim. She didn’t have the same rules as him. “He’s jealous. Use it to really shove it to him.”

“I’m not gonna do that.”

“I haven’t even told you the plan.”

She stared at him, deadpanned. “That I use you?”

“All I’m saying is— I wouldn’t mind giving you a free moment. I’ll make it interesting.”

“I’m even less tempted.”

Matthew chuckled. “Incentives! They’re good.”

“I think not falling out of my program is enough motivation.”

“Come on, I’ll get something, you’ll get something. You get a free fake-boyfriend pass you can cash in anytime to piss off that idiot and… I can get a free-party pass and you have to attend.”

He was teasing her—mostly. There was no way in hell she would say—

“Fine.”

Had she just said fine?

“I’ll try it your way if—If you get an A on the test this week.”

“What’s your incentive?”

“Shave a minute off my time.”

“That’s not fair—you could be slow on purpose.”

“You could not get an A.”

“As if, I actually want this. So nope.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s for my pre-test!”

He nodded. “Deal then.”

“Good.”

He had to go from a D to an A. He could absolutely do that—right?