Mary E Thompson
Finley
I sat in a hard plastic chair with a shitty cup of coffee and tried not to let my nerves get the better of me. My hands still hurt from the white-knuckled grip I had driving us to the hospital in Syracuse. My leg jangled with restless energy. I was used to being on my feet, not stuck in a waiting room.
“It’ll be fine,” Laura said, her calm voice not nearly soothing enough to stall my anxiety.
“I know, but it’ll be a long road to full recovery.”
“And we’ll be here for her.”
I looked over at her and smiled. She was right. Karissa was on an operating table alone, but after her surgery, Laura and I were going to be by her side every step of the way. Everyone else, too. We all loved Ms. Georgia, Karissa’s mom, and we were supportive of Karissa’s preventative double mastectomy.
“Who’s watching the shop while you’re here?” Laura asked.
“I closed it. I don’t really have anyone who can run it full time. The few employees I have only come in for a few hours a week.”
“Wow. How long are you closed?”
“Just this week. Next week I’m going to go back with a modified schedule. I usually do after Labor Day. Things are too quiet to be open full time until spring when tourists start coming back.”
“Makes sense. Speaking of tourists… Have you heard from NotALocal again?”
I smiled and shook my head. I was trying hard not to get my hopes up about him. He didn’t say how long it would be before he came back. The romantic in me really wanted it to turn into something, but the realist in me was stronger, and a lot more cynical. It was the romantic who opened her mouth and told all my friends about him at our last book club.
“Too bad. I wonder why he comes to MacKellar Cove. There aren’t a lot of regular travelers.”
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to figure out anything about him. The mystery means my heart won’t run rampant with hope.”
Laura smiled sadly at me. “We should always have hope.”
I smiled back and let her have it. Sure, I had hope, but that hope didn’t extend all the way to a magical romance with a stranger who turned out to be perfect for me. That kind of stuff was not how my life worked out.
We chatted off and on while we waited for the surgeon to update us on Karissa’s surgery. The longer it went on, the more my nerves rattled me. When the phone rang and someone called out Karissa’s name, Laura and I jumped up to talk to the doctor.
“The surgery went perfectly. She’s not yet out of anesthesia, but I wanted to call right away. She’s going to be in room eight-fifty-two. You can head up there to see her whenever you’re ready. She’ll probably be up there in an hour, so you have time to get something to eat before you go.”
“Thank you,” we both breathed.
I hung up the phone, and Laura and I shared a smile and hugged each other tight. She played it off well, but she was just as nervous as I was.
We went to the cafeteria and got a quick lunch, then headed up to Karissa’s room. She was just being wheeled in when we got there.
“Everything hurts,” Karissa moaned.
“Sorry, hun. I think that’s going to be how it is for a while,” Laura said kindly. She had an incredible bedside manner, and the ability to make anyone feel comfortable. She was an incredible nurse.
“I wish I’d known how much I was going to hurt.”
Laura chuckled. “You still would have done it.”
“Yep, but I would have known. Can I have some water? My throat is sore.”
“I’ll go get some,” Laura said. She grabbed the small pitcher on Karissa’s tray and left the room.
I stepped forward and took Rissa’s hand. I hated seeing her look so uncomfortable. I knew it was only going to get worse when she started physical therapy and went through her recovery process.
“How bad do I look?” she asked.
“You look like you’re in pain. I wish I could take it for you.”
She nodded. “I know. I would probably give it to you.”
I laughed with her.
The doctor came in shortly after Laura returned and gave us more information about the surgery, including the most important part, which was there was no sign of breast cancer when he did the surgery. Karissa had all kinds of tests ahead of it, but there was still a chance they would find something. That they didn’t was the best news we could hope for. So good that Karissa cried, which made Laura and me cry.
The rest of the day was quiet. Nurses came and went, and the three of us sat and watched movies and relaxed. We ate dinner, then settled in for the night on the pull-out chairs the nurses provided for us.
The next few days were a bit of a blur. Laura and I took turns staying with Karissa and going to Nico’s friend Veronica’s house. Veronica and her husband offered to let us use their guest room whenever we needed a break from the hospital for a few hours of sleep or a shower or anything.
My entire body felt sore and achy. I was exhausted and uncomfortable and stressed about Karissa and my lack of medical knowledge to help her heal. By the time she was released from the hospital with a two-page instruction list of how to treat the wounds and how to do physical therapy, I was ready to throw up.
Thank God for Laura, who took it all in stride. She was there with us for that exact reason. She was the nurse, and she was going to manage Karissa’s therapy and help with anything else that needed to be done over the next few months. I was going to help, but I was deferring to Laura’s expertise as much as possible.
The drive back to MacKellar Cove was long and painful for Karissa. Every bump we hit had her sucking in a sharp breath. Every turn had her reaching for a handle. Every minute had me tensing up more and more. When we finally pulled up to our complex, we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Laura helped Karissa up the stairs to our apartment while I grabbed our bags from the trunk. I trailed behind them a little, letting Karissa move as slowly as she wanted. When we got to our door, I smiled at Laura and winked.
All our friends were inside waiting to see Karissa.
We opened the door and were immediately met with a stomach-rumbling scent. Karissa pulled back. “What’s that?”
“It’s dinner,” Melody called from inside the apartment. “Come in and eat something.”
Karissa moved forward tentatively. Laura held her arm. When they reached the kitchen, Karissa burst into tears.
“Oh, shit. Should we not be here?” Elise asked.
Everyone surrounded Karissa while she struggled to gain her composure. She shook her head and smiled through her tears. “Thank you guys. I couldn’t ask for better friends than all of you.”
Everyone hugged Karissa gently and helped her over to the armchair we bought a few weeks ago just for her. Laura warned her getting up from the couch could be tough and recommended a seat that was firmer and she could get out of without needing to use her arms to push herself up.
“How are you feeling?” Blake asked.
“Sore. I swear everything hurts. I had no idea how connected my boobs were to everything else.” Karissa winced as she adjusted her position.
“I’ll do your hair for the next few months,” Trinity offered.
“Oh, thank you,” Karissa breathed. “I’m already starting to get annoyed by it.”
“Piper and I are going to bring you guys meals,” Melody said.
“And I’m going to do your grocery shopping,” Blake added.
“Everyone is here to help,” Elise said.
“Thank you, guys. I hated putting so much on Fin and Laura,” Karissa said.
“They can take it,” Blake told her with a wink for us.
“We can, but we knew we wouldn’t be alone,” Laura said.
We all settled onto the couch and the floor and chatted like it was any regular get-together. They asked about Karissa’s surgery and her recovery. We talked about what happened in town during the five days we were in Syracuse. We ate dinner together and put on a movie none of us watched and talked. It was a great end to the stressful week.
Karissa’s eyes started drooping, and everyone made their way to the door. Melody and Willow cleaned up the kitchen before they left. Blake and Elise said they cleaned the bathroom for us. Trinity tied Karissa’s hair up in a clean wrap and promised to be back whenever we needed her. Laura was the last one to leave with more promises to return in the morning.
Karissa looked at me. “I’m so fucking tired.”
I laughed. “I know. Let’s get you to bed.”
“I’m sorry I’m putting so much on you.”
“You are not putting a lot on me. I love you, and I am here for you. Always.”
“Thank you.”
Karissa took her meds and let me help her to bed. She was asleep before I even left her room.
I went into mine, leaving both doors open just in case she needed help during the night. I quickly and quietly unpacked my suitcase. I grabbed the bag of tampons and pads I’d shoved in there and stopped. I thought I was going to get my period while Karissa was in the hospital. All the stress of being there wreaked havoc on my body, and it never came.
I smiled. I was not going to complain about that side effect.
* * *
Three days later, I felt sick. I woke up queasy and unsteady. I took my temperature but there was no fever. I fixed myself some toast and felt better. Just hungry.
Two days after that, it happened again. It took me a few minutes to drag myself out of bed. I used the bathroom and washed my hands, then padded to the kitchen for some toast. I could not get Karissa sick. I took my temperature again, and it was normal, but I was starting to get worried.
The toast helped, but I warned Karissa I wasn’t feeling great.
“I have a really good immune system. It’ll be fine,” Karissa said.
Every day, she was feeling better. She still had a lot of moments where she was in pain, but overall, she was improving. I went into work for the first time since her surgery, leaving her at the apartment with Blake for the day.
It was a beautiful Saturday. Even though we were almost in October, the weather was being more than cooperative. People were outside, walking around and enjoying the last few weeks of warmth before the cold moved into the area. The crisp, fresh air helped my stomach, and again, I brushed off the feeling.
I’d been open for about twenty minutes when a customer walked in. I vaguely recognized her, but I couldn’t place her name. That was the blessing and curse of small town life. Everyone knew everyone, but if you couldn’t pull up a name, you seemed like an ass.
The woman smiled at me and wandered through the store. I waited behind the counter, catching up on paperwork and seeing what inventory I was running low on.
“Excuse me, can you recommend one of these books?” the woman asked.
“Well, they’re both really good, but it depends on what you’re looking for. This one had a really strong alpha who’s kind of gruff, but he’s a total marshmallow for the heroine. This one has a great found family with two friends who finally admit they’re in love.”
“Damn. That didn’t help at all because they both sound amazing.”
I laughed with her. “I know. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I guess it’s a good problem for me to have. I told myself I was only going to get one today. I have a tendency to overspend on books.”
“Me, too. I’m Finley, by the way. You look familiar, but I’m struggling to bring up your name. I hate saying that, but pretending I know it is shitty. Whoops. Sorry. I shouldn’t swear at customers.”
She snorted. “You’re fine. I have a teenage son and a pre-teen son. I say more than my fair share of swear words. I’m Anna Charlotte. I think you came out to the Oak Hill event last year.”
“Oh, yes. I knew I recognized you. I’m friends with James. He and Trinity talk about you and your boys all the time.”
Anna smiled. “They’re very sweet to keep in touch with us.”
“Trinity adores Matty. She takes pictures of the work he does at the after-school program.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “He’s very talented.”
Anna’s cheeks pinked. “Thank you.”
“Listen, I have a trade program. You can bring back any books you bought from me, in good condition, and get credit toward a new book. It’s not something I publicize because most of my customers through the summer are from out of town, but for locals, I’m happy to do it. I also offer discounts if someone is willing to do a recommended section. You would just pick your favorite books, and I’ll dedicate a shelf to your selections. Being a single mom, I have a feeling a lot of people would be interested in what you enjoy.”
“Are you doing this because you know I have no money?”
“What?” I asked. Usually people were thrilled when I offered them a discount, but Anna looked angry.
“Listen, I know I’m not part of your inner circle and I’m not a contributing member of the community or whatever, but I’d appreciate not being made to feel like I’m not capable of paying my own way. I didn’t come in here looking for a handout.”
“And I’m not trying to give you one,” I said. I tried to stay calm, but she was furious.
“Really? That’s why you’re offering me to trade in my books and get a discount for recommending books? Because I’ve never heard of this before.”
“Like I said, it’s not something I advertise. The last chance section is all used books. It says so on the sign, but it’s small so I don’t get a ton of people trying to trade in books. Most of my inventory is new, and I want to keep it that way so I can get new releases. And recommending books is something I’ve done since I opened the shop.”
“Yeah, and offering it to the poor single mom who barely has enough money to feed her kids is just you being neighborly or whatever.”
“I—”
“I can pay for my books. I’ll take both of them. This should cover it. And you can keep the change.”
Anna stormed off, leaving me to stare after her and wonder what the hell just happened.
The rest of my day was a lot less eventful. More customers came in and asked how my vacation was. I didn’t tell them why I really closed the store. No one seemed too upset about it, which was always my concern.
I opened the next day, too, but without any fanfare or disgruntled customers. Karissa was hanging out with Trinity for the day, so I picked up dinner from O’Kelley’s for the three of us before I went home. Hudson asked how Karissa was doing and said to let him know if we needed anything. I promised I would and went home to crash with my friends.
Monday morning, I woke up with a sour taste in my mouth. I threw my covers back and raced to the bathroom, barely making it before I vomited. I sat on the floor and hurled until nothing came out. I dry-heaved and wanted to die.
A cool cloth landed on my neck.
“Karissa, you need to go. You can’t be in here. I don’t want to get you sick.”
“Fin, you need help. Are you okay?”
“I feel like shit.”
“I thought you were getting better?”
“Me, too, but I guess I was wrong. God, this is horrible.”
“Better sick than pregnant, though, right?”
I leaned back against the wall and looked up at Karissa, feeling sick for an entirely different reason. No. It wasn’t possible.
“Finley? Are you pregnant?”
“I… No. I can’t be.”
“Actually, you can be. NotALocal?”
“He used a condom, and I’m on birth control.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t mean it’s one-hundred percent. You’ve been queasy when you wake up most of the last week. You’re not running a fever. I haven’t gotten sick. You seem fine after a few hours. It sounds like morning sickness to me.”
“Oh, God. What if I am pregnant?”
“Do you have any tests?”
I shook my head.
“I think there’s one in there. Crawl over and look.”
I shifted to in front of the cabinet. Karissa directed me to where she saw a test. There was one left. And it wasn’t expired.
“You need to take it. Now. I’ll start some toast for you.”
“I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”
“Pee on the stick. We’ll go from there.”
Karissa left and closed the bathroom door. I stared at the offending test and bit the inside of my lip. I couldn’t be pregnant. I didn’t even know the guy’s name.
I sighed and shook my head. When it was negative, I would feel better. And then I’d go to the doctor and find out what was really wrong.
I read the directions, twice, and took the test. I set it on the counter to wait and left the bathroom.
“So?”
“I’m waiting. I couldn’t stand there and watch it.”
“Eat your toast.”
I nodded. We both stared at the bathroom door while I ate toast and Karissa drank a cup of coffee. When we were done, we looked at each other.
I chewed the inside of my lip and led the way. Karissa held my hand, giving me support I didn’t know I needed until I looked down at the test and saw two pink lines.
Fuck me.