The Emma Series Book 4

Book 4: Accepting Your Fate

JAX

I’m speechless. When Austin suggested she could kill Giovanni, I initially thought it was the shock of her abduction speaking. But one look into her eyes, and I knew I was wrong. Despite her left eye being nearly swollen shut, her determination was palpable.

She was a force to be reckoned with.

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to have blood on your hands unless it’s absolutely necessary, preferably only in self-defense.”

“Don’t fucking patronize me, Jax! Giovanni kidnapped me, he could have violated and tortured me, but he wanted me to love him like I love you. I’ve been through hell since I met you, especially these past few weeks. I’m not some petulant child you need to lecture. I’m a grown woman. I deserve to get my dues and what I want is to kill Giovanni myself. Ask whoever you need to ask, but get me a fucking answer. And while you’re at it, get the fuck out of here and don’t come back until you have the answer I want. Otherwise, I walk, Jax, I mean it. I’m done being sidelined. No one will ever respect me if I continue to act like I need protecting all the time.”

“It’s not that, I just think you’re too pure to handle killing someone. I don’t want your nightmares on my conscience as well. I have enough to deal with as it is.”

“Do you hear yourself, Jax? It’s all about you. Where do I fit into all of this if all I hear is ‘I’? Get the fuck out, now, before I completely lose my temper.”

I want to stay, to comfort her, to hold her. But the anger radiating from her warns me that I’d only be adding fuel to the fire. I’ve never let anyone talk to me the way she just did. The fact that I let her speaks volumes about my feelings for her.

Thankfully, her outburst was out of earshot of the staff and my parents. She’s angry, and rightfully so. I’ve been selfish, always putting myself first. She’s always been a close second.

I need to talk to my parents, to understand how they’ve made their marriage work without undermining each other. Otherwise, I’m on a fast track to losing my cool and losing Austin, the love of my life.

I turn to leave, not wanting to provoke her further.

“Oh, and Jax, if the answer is no, don’t bother coming to tell me. Send Maddox to deliver the news. I don’t want to see you until you have a yes. If you don’t get one, I’m leaving here.”

I give Austin a final look before closing the bathroom door. I lean against it, like I always do when she’s near. But this time, my heart is filled with an unfamiliar emotion. If I had to name it, I’d say it’s fear. The first time I’ve ever felt it—the fear of losing her.

I need to talk to my mother, now more than ever. I grab some clothes and head to the spare bedroom for a quick shower. When I emerge, I dress quickly, eager to get downstairs. I know my parents will be up, dissecting tonight’s events until the moment we found Austin.

They don’t disappoint. I find everyone gathered in my mother’s office. Without preamble, I stick my head around the door.

“All of you, my office now!” I command, heading to my office without waiting to see if they follow.

I pour a generous amount of whiskey into a glass, down it, and pour another. When I sit down at my desk, they’re all there, my parents in the two chairs in front of my desk, the rest scattered around, all waiting for me to speak.

I’m seething. I want to go down to the basement and kill Giovanni with my bare hands, watching the life drain from his eyes as I choke him. But if I do that, I lose Austin.

On the other hand, I can’t show everyone in my office how weak I am when it comes to Austin, especially not my mother. Austin is my Achilles’ heel. I need to keep my anger in check if this meeting is going to be productive.

My mother is the first to speak. “How is she, Jax?”

“I don’t fucking know. She won’t talk to me about it. All she told me was that he didn’t rape her and that he wanted her to love him like she loves me. The best part is, she wants to kill him. And if he dies by my hand, she’s leaving me. Isn’t my life just wonderful, Mother?” I respond sarcastically. I think this is one of the few times I’ve ever spoken to her with such disdain and disrespect.

“Everyone out now!” she shouts, standing up and staring me down as if I’m a rebellious child she needs to scold without an audience. Everyone scurries out of my office except my father. Without even looking at him, she tells him to leave too.

I refuse to break eye contact with her. I blame her for all of this. She knew I never wanted to be part of this life. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be in this difficult position.

My father leaves after whispering a few words in my mother’s ear. I see him in my peripheral vision, but I refuse to break the stare down with my mother. I’m beyond furious with her.

Once the door is closed behind her, she tells me to stand up. Still holding her gaze, I stand without a word. She slowly walks around the desk, and I brace myself for her tirade. But what she does next completely takes me by surprise.

She hugs me, whispering, “What I’m about to do is for your own good, son.”

She steps back and delivers a powerful kick to my stomach. We’ve practiced this move countless times. I tumble backward, crashing into the drink trolley and shattering it as I hit the floor. She gestures for me to rise, already poised for the next round.

But I can’t bring myself to fight my own mother.

I push myself up slowly. “There’s no need—” I start, but she cuts me off with a punch to the gut. I double over, and she follows up with a knee to my face. I’m pretty sure my nose is broken now.

“Stop! I won’t fight you, Mom.”

“You should’ve thought of that before your outburst,” she retorts. “I thought you’d accepted your role as the new boss. Even Austin adjusted faster than you. You can despise me all you want, but you accepted this when you agreed to take over. Now that it’s getting tough, you’re whining instead of thinking clearly. I’m disappointed, Jax. I never thought I’d say that, but grow the fuck up. This is your life now. I won’t be your punching bag every time something goes wrong. Life throws curveballs, and you should know that better than anyone. Now get up and fight, or I swear I’ll kick your ass until you do.”

“I respect you too much to hit you, Mom. You know I don’t hit women.”

“I don’t give a fuck about respect, Jax. You’re angry, so take it out on me, the one who caused it all.”

“Dad will kill me if I hurt you, and you know it.”

She scoffs, and before I know it, I’m on the floor again. She’s landed one of her signature air kicks, knocking me off balance. I see red, my ears ringing, but I hold back. She’s my mother, after all.

She comes at me again, her punches relentless. I manage to grab her hands, pleading with her through my eyes to stop. I don’t want to hurt her. But she ignores my silent plea, kicking me again with such force that I release her hands.

I know I’ll regret this, but I take a defensive stance. For the first time, I see the wildness in my mother’s eyes, the adrenaline rush before she lunges at me. I barely dodge her kick, landing one on her stomach instead. She recovers faster than I expected. I’m not holding back either, trying to end this madness.

Every time we practiced, she kept this side of her hidden. Now, I feel it in every punch and kick she throws. She’s like a woman possessed. I’ve never seen her like this. Maybe she’s imagining someone else as she fights me.

I know if we continue, one of us will get seriously hurt. She charges at me again, but this time I’m ready. Somehow, I manage to get her in a chokehold. But she’s still so strong. I drop to my knees, begging her to snap out of it. She claws at my arms. I can’t see her face, but I know she’s furious. I don’t want to choke her out. I couldn’t live with myself, and Dad would kill me.

“Fuck! Mom, stop!”

She doesn’t. Suddenly, her body goes limp, her hands stop clawing at my arms.

Did I just kill my own mother?