Levi guides me silently to our bedroom, and I trail behind him, drowning in a sea of guilt. I never imagined I’d lose control like that again, especially not with Jax, my son, my baby boy who’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. If Levi hadn’t been there, either Jax or I would be gone, and judging by the way things unfolded, it would have been Jax.
He’d rather die than harm me, even when he had me in a chokehold. He wouldn’t physically hurt me. He wasn’t raised to harm women, especially not me.
What if he hadn’t been there? The thought sends a shiver down my spine.
“Levi…,” I start.
“Don’t, Emma. Not now.”
“We need to talk, Vi.”
“I know, but I’m too angry to talk right now. I need to shower, calm down. Then maybe we can talk. For the first time in a long time, I don’t want to see your beautiful face, Emma. You crossed a line tonight.”
He strides off to the bathroom, leaving me standing alone in the bedroom. The last time I saw that hurt look in his eyes was when I told him I was marrying Seth and Sam. That alone speaks volumes.
The shower runs for what feels like an eternity before Levi finally steps out, a towel wrapped around his waist. He’s still as breathtaking as ever, his body a feast for my eyes.
I scold myself for thinking about sex, especially now when he’s angry and with everything that’s happened.
He doesn’t look at me as he dries off and pulls on a pair of sweatpants, which I know he wears low on his waist just to tease me. He knows I love seeing him in sweats.
He walks past me to pour himself a glass of whiskey before settling on the couch, finally looking at me.
“What do you think would have happened if I wasn’t there tonight, Emma? You know I’m the only one who truly understands that side of you. I’m the only one who can pull you back from the edge once you cross over. It’s always been just me. We’d be planning two funerals right now, or rather, I would be. What the fuck were you thinking?”
I open my mouth to respond, but he cuts me off.
“If I lost either of you, I don’t know what I’d do. You almost put me in a position I never want to be in, similar to the one our son is in now. Your fucking power trips are why this family is in this mess. You had to prove to everyone that you’re stronger, better, faster than any other Mafia leader. Everyone knew that years ago. You could have retired then, but no, you had to drag our son into this, make him just like you. He’s cut from the same cloth as you, Emma. He’s you in a man’s body. It scares the shit out of me to know that I’m married to the most powerful woman on earth, and our son has taken over the reins. You two are a lethal combination. This is my last warning. I won’t tolerate this behavior from you again. Do you understand?”
It’s rare for Levi to reprimand me like this, and he’s right, not that I’d admit it to anyone but him. I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done that I can barely admit my faults to him.
What have I become? This question has been plaguing me since the night Jax took over and the task he was given.
I hate admitting my faults, or that I regret anything, but it’s time for Levi and me to retire, to enjoy our days in the sun, to leave the business to Jax and hopefully Austin. It’s their time now. I’ve had enough power to last me ten lifetimes.
My addiction to power stems from the insecurities Diablo instilled in me when we first got together. It’s why I did what I did all those years ago. I broke him down, then built him up until he betrayed me.
That’s when my true hunger for power began, and the demon inside me fully awakened to rule and control everything and everyone around me. It’s time to leave the past in the past.
“Yes, Vi, I understand. I’ll start working on things to ensure it doesn’t happen again.” That’s all I can give him. Admitting this to myself is hard enough. Voicing it out loud would shatter the image I’ve built of myself.
As I lie in bed, I realize it’s the first time since Levi and I got back together that he’s turned his back to me, not holding me as we sleep. For the first time in years, I feel broken.
What have I done?
