The Awakening Series Book 2

“You felt them, but you didn’t actually see them? Or one, as in singular?” Sierra gazes at Colton, questioning him as we sit across from her at breakfast, something we usually share in her suite as she prefers it that way.

Colton slides me the platter of pancakes as he shrugs her way. It’s late for breakfast, but our patrol duties sometimes push us to eat closer to noon a couple of times a week.

“Felt. Possibly just one, but I can’t be sure. I didn’t see them at all, but my eyes turned blue, and I could feel their magic in the air; faint, but it was there. Just out beyond the perimeter.”

Colton dishes me some pancakes and throws me that soft smile that translates to “I love you” as he adds maple syrup to my stack. I help myself to bacon and dig in while his mother stares pensively at his face.

Sierra sighs and looks torn for a long moment as we tuck into the pancakes, bacon, and eggs I insisted I was dying for this morning.

My appetite has been huge since we began to turn daily, and he’s always one to pander to my needs.

“I’m not surprised that witches have sided with the vampires, knowing what we do about how this all began. They are the least evil in this war, even if that’s hard to believe. The wolves villainize our kind. The vampires do not.

“I guess they hope an alliance means they get to come out of the shadows to live free once more. Too many witches have been slaughtered, and many more have gone into hiding for hundreds of years.” Sierra picks up her fork, but it seems like she has no appetite now, and twirls it in her hand instead.

Her expression is strained, and I can feel her nervousness coming through in subtle waves since Colton told her about the witches.

“What does it mean for us if they now have magic on their side?” I butt in, not exactly at peace with this conversation, as anxiety swirls in my stomach, and I glance at Colton, who is not all that interested in his food for once.

He’s nervously pushing his bacon around as he glances at his mother. My man is an eater, and his lack of hunger means he isn’t as calm as he has been pretending all morning.

“Within these walls, nothing. It’s what’s beyond the protection stones of our land that we should be afraid of. Witches have powers that can hold their own against small numbers.

“We’re a smaller pack, an easy target. I guess it’s why we’ve had so many attacks in recent weeks. The vampires are trying to pick off the smaller of our kind before we unite to start a war again. In numbers, they’re not a match for us.”

Despite her words that should instill a little confidence in our safety, I can only feel her overwhelming sadness.

Sierra has been quiet of late, her powers growing again, and she’s been spending more time studying the grimoires of the house than venturing outside of her walls.

Her unhappiness has been increasing in the last few months the longer we live this way, and I don’t think it’s down to the vampire attacks.

I know she’s pining for a mate she hates but can’t be unbound from and a life she lost that she can’t go back to. Her heart is grieving, and with every new niggle and expression of unrest brought up, she feels even less useful to her pack.

“So, their magic can’t invade beyond the runes buried outside the perimeter?” Colton cuts in, his eyes on his mom, and I can tell he, too, feels her underlying lack of oomph today. He won’t push her, though; he treats her like precious glass that may shatter should he blow too hard.

“No. My great-great-grandfather created and buried those runes under the guidance of the world’s most powerful witch. He was a great sorcerer and made sure this house would withstand magic of any kind that was not borne within from blood.

“We can use ours and freely come and go, but anyone else touched by a spell or gift we don’t invite in can’t pass. I’m not even sure humans can pass without our say-so.”

“That’s something, I suppose. So, they can throw all they have at our walls and outside within the boundary, and nothing gets through?” I raise my brow, finding some peace in that.

The first boundary line where the rune stones lie is about ten feet outside the village walls and our sweeping front drive.

“Yes.” Sierra seems confident in it, so I settle, glad of something at least. One less concern. We can sleep at night, knowing nothing gets in, even if the vampires stray close.

We still must patrol, though, as our power lines and telephone cables all route out with these lines, and our main water supplies come in from the west. They have been targeting those with every new attack.

“We need to reduce the distance we chase from now on—no longer use the frequency as our measure of distance. We must properly mark the rune boundary and forbid any pack straying beyond until we know more about what they intend to do.” Colton places his fork down and frowns.

He focuses outside, beyond the large double window of the veranda, staring at the looming presence of the distant forest and mountain as though trying to spot the enemy visually.

Despite the chill in the air, the sun is bright today, and the land before us looks green and luscious—a far cry from the shadowy danger we faced last night.

“It’s not a bad idea. Safety first. As always.” I smile at him softly, knowing that’s what he’ll do for the good of our people, and tap his plate to encourage him to eat.

“Talking of magic…I had another dream…” Colton turns instantly evasive, his posture stiffening, and a heavy cold fills the atmosphere around us.

I flick my eyes his way in question and surprise. He hasn’t mentioned any dreams to me lately, so I squint at him with brewing doubts.

“When?” I blurt out, hating the thought he has kept something from me. He tells me everything and vice versa. It’s not how we are. We have no secrets and one hundred percent honesty.

“Last night. I figured I would tell you both simultaneously and save the agony of repeating it.” He glances from his mom to me, and that subtle frown appearing on his brow makes me wonder how bad it can be, simmering my internal pang of betrayal momentarily.

Colton is rarely fazed by anything, especially not dreams, even if he thinks they may be visions of the future, so this has to be something upsetting.

“Tell me.” Sierra reaches across the table and covers his hand with hers, that gentle maternal love she smothers us with shining through as she, too, senses unease.

Colton sighs heavily, leaning back without breaking her contact, and rolls his shoulders. This is a sign he’s starting to get stressed, and my nerves pick up, pushing me to lean toward him.

I am aching for him as his emotions taint mine, and I get equally antsy as I feed from his inner despair. I reach out impulsively, take his other hand, the one on his thigh under the table, and tangle our fingers together to console what I don’t even know yet.

Colton clears his throat and tenses as he exhales his words. He throws me a soft look, a hint of a smile, and a little “I love you” squint of his eyes as he wrinkles his nose cutely.

I blush in response, never immune to the faces and messages he sends me, even in a serious moment like this.

“It started in a forest. I think, maybe the north side of the mountain. It was familiar, but not here. I was alone…maybe…I don’t know. I saw no one, but it wasn’t quite like I was alone. I felt like there were others in the shadows.”

He sighs again, flinches, and this time, his eyes start to subtly amber out, a sign his emotions are pushing through, and I squeeze his hand tighter to keep him calm.

Wolf Colton would not be great at explaining anything, as he has too much hostility in that furry form.

“Go on…,” Sierra encourages.

Colton hesitates, screws up his face, and blows air as though the words are painful, and I can feel it ebbing from him. I listen intently, the upset, the heartbreak, holding on for what he has to say.

“I was standing still, in human form, but my hands were clawed out like I was half-turned but had no intention of fully doing so. Covered in blood even though I was uninjured, and I knew it wasn’t mine.”

“Maybe it was a past vision. We’ve been up against the vampires and had their blood on our hands so many times these past months,” I interject as his emotions start clawing at my insides, his sense of elevated anxiety making me jittery, and I wriggle in my seat.

“No, this was different. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt… I can’t explain, but it was like I was above and looking at me, but it wasn’t me. I was blank…emotionless and disconnected.

“Nothing was happening in my head, and I tried to rouse myself to some response. There was nothing but this shell of me, going through the motions, and he couldn’t hear or see me, and then… I saw you.”

Colton’s eyes drop to his lap, and he turns away from me, shaking his head. His sadness and pain hit me full in the stomach like a sucker punch as he sees it in his mind’s eye, and I know that’s not a good sign.

“What was I doing?” I blurt out impulsively, afraid of what he saw if it’s cutting him this way.

Colton remains silent for a long moment to compose himself, and Sierra and I exchange concerned glances.

“Would it be better if you shared it with me so I can see for myself?” his mother interjects, but Colton flashes back to her with a brutal headshake.

“No!” I don’t want it in either of your heads. The hostility in his harsh response is so out of character.

“Then tell us,” I coax him, pleading to know what he saw that has him this way while ignoring his outburst.

Colton pulls his hands away from us and runs them through his hair in agitation, leaning back so his chair balances on only two legs at a precarious angle.

I curb the urge to correct it and let him be as he scrubs his fingers on his scalp and sighs loudly.

“You were lying on the forest floor about ten feet from me, partially concealed as though you had crawled to hide. Human, still dressed like you hadn’t even tried to turn…you were bleeding.”

Colton chokes on his emotion and sharply leans forward on the table to place his face in his palms, his chair slamming down. He rubs his temples, then wipes a palm over his face as though to shake what he sees.

“You were looking at me, crying… You were scared. Of me! And I walked toward you, so empty, so…unfeeling. I could see you were hurt, yet I didn’t seem to care or react.

“And you said, ‘Please…don’t,’ as if it was down to me or because of me, or you thought I would hurt you…and I woke up.” Colton tenses, shudders, and then stands up quickly to shake the memory out physically.

I stare in open-eyed apprehension, and Sierra frowns sternly.

He stalks to the patio doors, opens one for air, and shoves his shoulder against the frame to appear at ease despite it being obvious he is far from it.

I can feel his confusion and pain, making me momentarily mute as chaos swirls in my brain, trying to dissect his vision.

“You think you were the one who wounded her?” Sierra shakes her head at me as I move to get up to console him, indicating he needs space. She notes his eyes are glowing amber before I do.

He’s wound up. Better to let him get it out in his own way, and I settle back down. Sometimes, when he’s riled, his wolf hates being touched, even by me.

“I would never…but why was she afraid? Why wasn’t I reacting? Helping her? Why wasn’t she turning? None of it made sense! It’s like she couldn’t turn wolf.”

He’s back to pacing, and I watch him with a heavy heart, unsure of what else to say as I try to decipher the dream logically. If he was a half wolf in the dream, then there was no reason I couldn’t turn. It makes little sense.

“You said not all dreams and visions are literal, right? Maybe it’s more symbolic. Maybe it’s that you feel somewhere inside that you aren’t protecting me enough.

“Or maybe sensing the witches last night somehow made you feel like there’s danger lurking, more than before, and you’re scared I won’t be safe. That you somehow are watching, powerless, while I’m hurt.”

I try to explain what he described, clutching at straws, and he turns and narrows his eyes at me thoughtfully. He slightly changes his expression as he grasps the reason in my explanation.

“Maybe…that sort of makes sense.”

“Sometimes they may seem like visions, but they are our intentions, warning of a path we may take and the possible outcomes. Maybe sensing the witches has stirred up chaotic emotions, and as Lorey says, your dreams formed this visual to voice what those are.

“You’re afraid as a leader you will fail against a new threat, and your mate will be left wounded and unable to defend herself.” Sierra sounds out my reasoning to strengthen the possibility.

Colton relaxes even more, seeing some hint of logic in the words and looking for a reason to explain what he saw that wasn’t him hurting me.

“I guess.” Colton’s distracted, not fully believing, even if he seems to agree. I know him better than that, and the worry in his eyes betrays that this isn’t fully an answer for him.

I did think he was a little quiet when we woke up, and he made love to me this morning rather than having crazy morning sex.

He seemed subdued before we came to breakfast, overly touchy-feely and attentive. I thought he was tired, having one of his calmer days of reflection that sometimes happens.

I never knew he was harboring all this and picking apart the meaning.

Since starting to get visions, he’s found them both a blessing and a curse, often frustrated with the cryptic confusion they can cause. They are hard to separate from dreams sometimes that have no meaning, and he has started questioning every night terror he has.

His powers are growing, but he feels they’re getting more chaotic, invasive, and frequent in recent months, and he is failing to harness them.

He’s also learning to heal with his touch, much like Sierra can. He can close wounds and cure minor sicknesses, not that he’s had Guinea pigs to enable him to try for more.

Wolves are too good at healing themselves, and the children don’t often have anything serious.

He’s spent time in the medic room practicing on cuts, bruises, and childhood viruses to see what he can do under Sierra’s gentle hand, and he’s pretty great at a blue, glowing wave of healing perfection.

The worst he has had was the odd broken bone from a pup’s clumsy fall.

“Maybe it was just a dream and not a vision,” I point out, but Colton frowns.

“I never used to dream at all…ever. Not even as a kid. They only started after I unbound my gifts.” He shrugs in irritation, slumps back down in his seat, and picks up his fork absentmindedly.

I know he’s told me this before, but it still silences me, and I stare at my food with a little defeat. I don’t know what else to say to put his mind at ease.

“Maybe Alora’s right, though. By binding your gifts, I might have bound your natural ability to dream and work through your problems in the sleep state. Which is normal for all people, and now you can do it.

“Maybe this is nothing more than Alora symbolizing your whole world, your people, our home, me, your responsibility, this land, and you feel responsible for it all.

“That, in your disconnected state, it was somehow highlighting how you feel overwhelmed with the huge responsibility and maybe feel that taking your eye off the ball just once will result in your striking down your heart…your world. Which she was in your dream.

“Dreams don’t have to be more than that, even visions sometimes.” Sierra must sense his confusion, too, and her soft smile and confident expression bring him peace.

“Yeah, my gifts aren’t exactly stable or clear cut. I dream sporadically, and nothing ever makes sense. I thought it would be more like seeing a movie and knowing exactly what to do.” He sighs, leaning my way and sliding his palm onto my thigh as I instinctively take his hand.

“If only. Sometimes they come at you and tell a story with perfect clarity. Most of the time, they’re a mess of figuring it out and second-guessing what it’s meant to be saying.

“When I was pregnant with you, I saw a white dove carrying a leaf…multiple times. It never once clicked that it symbolized a new life and path with the purest of love. My son.”

Sierra glows at that, and for a moment, it hurts. It’s painful to know she was denied a decade of that child’s life, and now, she’s stuck here in a mateless bond with no hope of ever being able to produce another child.

Even in her circumstances, it’s forbidden for her to find another mate, and it wouldn’t exactly kill her bond with Juan. Even if she despises everything he has done, she still cries about how her heart bleeds at the separation of her bond.

It’s partly why she’s driven to sadness and isolation to try and work through and understand her internal conflict. You can both love and hate someone at the same time.

“Maybe you’re right, and I’m overthinking it. I just need to pull us all together and focus on one day at a time. I would never hurt you, Lorey, not like that.

“I know I wouldn’t, so it can’t be real or a future vision. It has to be symbolic, and we’ll figure it out.” Colton seems calmer now, relaxed, and he sighs, picking up his pancake with a half smile as I softly kiss his cheek.

“I know you never would.” I nuzzle against him for a second as he slides his arm around me, hugging me to assure me that he’s the one person in the world who would never do anything to hurt me in any way ever again.

He loves me, and this vision is something insignificant.

“Alpha, Luna, Rema, I’m sorry to disrupt your breakfast, but I must speak with my alpha.” Radar stands at the open door to our breakfast room, eyes on his feet like always whenever he’s in Sierra’s presence.

Even though she has been changed to rema, or mother of the alpha, and is no longer luna, he has never broken the habit.

As delta to Colton, he has the authority to look even his alpha in the eye, so I always find it weird he can’t break this respectful mannerism for her.

I guess it’s partly because he has always had affection for her. I think he’s too shy to look Sierra in the face.

“I’m coming.” Colton gets up quickly, kissing my temple before sliding out of his seat and discarding his half-eaten breakfast.

He passes behind his mother and kisses her on the head as he goes. This is normal in our life. He takes care of everything and is always ready to jump to attention should issues arise.

No time of the day is out of bounds except our quiet time before bed.

We understand that he takes care of the security, the military side, and the continual running, and I take care of the people’s everyday needs: education, food, love, and community.

I prefer it to tactical meetings and the ever-rounding up of sentinel patrols to keep our land safe. I help with patrols when he joins them, but other than that, security is not part of what I focus on.

Sierra watches Radar, sitting a little straighter from the corner of her eye, and pastes on a warm smile before turning toward him fully.

She likes him. Not that he will see it with his eyes fixed firmly on the marble floor, and I wish he would make contact at least once in her lifetime.

“You look well. I like your new haircut.” She smiles somewhat coyly, and Radar stiffens. A hint of rosy pink blushes over his cheekbones and only seems to push his nose further down toward his feet.

“Thank you, Rema Santo.” Radar is curt, a little too quick with his response, while his cheekbones color further. He turns with an almost relieved exhale when Colton passes him with a shoulder pat, telling him to move.

They leave with him, pulling the door closed behind them so we can eat in peace. They don’t even glance in our direction as they disappear through the crack.

I glance at her crestfallen face as she returns to her food. It’s not the first time I’ve seen slight disappointment in her brief interactions with her ex-guard, and I can’t hold my tongue this time.

“You like him, don’t you?” I smile encouragingly as Sierra’s face flames crimson, and she clumsily drops her fork.

“I…umm, am grateful. He was my…umm. No, I can’t. I mean, no, I do…of course, I do. He’s truly awesome as a male, wolf, guard, type, sort of guy, um, young man. Not that young, I mean almost my age young. Ugh…I owe him my life.

“It’s just… He’s very…aloof. For a guy who used to shadow me and make me feel safe.” Her blushing goes all the way to her roots, and I grin wider, knowing that fumbling, awkward self-war only too well.

She’s breathless, tongue-tied, fidgeting insanely with her plate and fork, and unable to look me in the eye. The little warmth spreading through my heart tells me I’ve hit the nail on the head.

“So, that’s a yes, then? He’s never mated up. No lovers, no girlfriends. Totally single. I think he’s maybe just shy, and you intimidate him.” I shrug, not even going to pretend she doesn’t like him.

For months now, she acts like this nervous virgin type whenever he shows up, and he is hopelessly stiff, curt, unable to formulate any conversation at all, and leaves as quickly as he can.

I already know Radar likes her, and it wouldn’t be wholly awful to see the rema have even some happiness. Even if neither physically acted it out, they just became friends or something. Maybe she wouldn’t be so sad.

“My bond to that… I can’t do anything with any male. There’s no point leading anyone on with no chance of a future. Radar deserves a nice femme with no complications.

“He’s loyal, sweet, stable, and completely efficient regarding protection. Should I ever leave this house, I would still have him as my guard,” Sierra says.

She turns away and stares out the window listlessly, a little crestfallen, eyes misting with emotion, but it only sparks a little twinkle in my mind.

“I think, as luna, I believe my mother-in-law, the rema of this pack, needs her own guards still, even if it’s to sit out in the sun and play cards. I’m sure Radar wouldn’t object to picking up where he left off a decade ago.”

“Don’t. I know you mean well, but Juan will never let me go, and this bond will only make everyone miserable if I allow myself to get close to another in any way.”

The defeat in her tone silences me, and I know this is futile.

She’s lived here six months, and three of those saw her well enough to interact in the pack, yet she still chooses to be solitary, separate, and push away all other relationships outside of Colton and me.

Sierra is punishing herself for things she couldn’t stop and letting herself wither away in this room at the top of the west wing.

I exhale in defeat and sadness for her. My heart is aching because she, of all people, deserves happiness, and the fates have abandoned her.

Juan can jump in a lake for all I care.

In the last few months, we have had little communication with the mountain. There has been an occasional hemorrhage of runaways heading this way to find sanctuary within our walls, and we know Juan is only biding his time while figuring out what to do about us.

We don’t give him the opportunity. We never stray outside our land and focus on just living our lives.

Maybe it’s because he’s stayed away and left us be, or perhaps he thinks the prophecy was wrong, and the only rising I’ll do has already happened in creating our small homestead pack and our new life away from the shadow of our mountain.

He’s focused on rallying his army to prepare for the vampires and war, and we seem to have fallen off his radar for now.

I haven’t forgotten, though. My family perished at his hands, and I won’t let that grudge ever die. One day, we will have our moment.

I pull my mind back to the here and now, realizing Sierra has stood and wandered to her balcony window to gaze out as the rain begins to fall. It dims the bright sun that woke us this morning.

It’s soft today, overcast now with threats of a rainy day, and a little colder but pleasant—perfect weather for staying inside and working on some of the details for the schoolhouse.

“Do you really think Colton’s dream is just his eternal stress finding a way to vent?” I ask her, knowing she would never lie to me, especially not while alone.

Sierra and I have built a bond these past months, like mother and daughter. I never knew how much I needed it until Sierra woke up many months ago and showed me what it was like to have a mom again.

“The mind is a complex and often frustrating tool, and being a seer is not always what it’s cracked up to be.” There’s distance in her tone, and I frown at her response.

“Do you ever regret your path based on your visions?” I’ve always wondered but never felt it appropriate to ask.

She stops momentarily, still as a statue, and I can see her mind turning over as she thinks through my question.

She sacrificed so much for my life, and I wonder if she had it to do over, would she choose not to see the truth and live in blissful ignorance with her mate and son instead of losing ten years of their lives?

Her emotions stabilize, and her mood brightens to an almost steel-like calm.

“No. I can’t say I do. I regret leaving my child to cope alone for so long, but he wouldn’t be the man he is now. He wouldn’t have the happiness he found in you if I hadn’t.

“I would rather live a lonely existence of truth without that monster as my mate than ignorance, fake happiness, and the demise of these people. Nothing about our bond was true… It was orchestrated from the second he laid eyes on me.

“I don’t regret what I did, only that I didn’t do it better and that I left myself no way to be the one to put a knife in that monster’s heart.” She turns, a hint of fierceness in her eye, and I nod, knowing her one desire in life is to see Juan fall.

I adore this woman who means so much to me now, and I can’t believe I spent my entire existence oblivious to her importance for so long.

I know she means every word, and it’s not the first time she has wished to deal the ending blow to her mate.

She has often told Colton that if she hadn’t bound us together for eternity, she would march to that mountain and Juan and end herself for good. A true luna, putting her people before her own life.

“One day. We’ll find a way to free us all. Maybe with magic… Maybe the fates will figure it out for us. I feel like this isn’t over by a long shot,” I interject to distract her from thinking about that dark shadow on her heart.

“Maybe… If I could still see the future, that would help, but since I woke up, it seems my son is the only one seeing visions now.

“I feel like my magic is waning the stronger he gets, and I don’t know if it’s meant to. I don’t know what that means…” Her words trail off as she introverts thoughtfully, and I gasp, my eyes widening.

I get up to go to her with a sickening lurch in my belly. “Have you told Colton?” This is news to me. It’s the first time she has ever mentioned the loss of her gift. This is a major thing.

“No. I will. I didn’t want him to worry that something was wrong. Maybe my gifts are naturally declining as my offspring’s rise. I can’t say I remember if my mother’s did, but maybe daughters are different.” She sighs and shrugs it away as unimportant, but I can’t shift this niggling feeling.

“Do you think maybe it’s not that at all, and your sadness and discontent somehow marred the gifts? Your life has changed so much since you woke up. It’s normal to experience mental backlash at everyone you lost, everything that’s changed.”

I have heard that an emotional state can weaken any supernatural gift, and it’s a strong possibility.

“Perhaps…maybe. I guess time will tell.”

Her tone deflates me, but I don’t want to dwell on things that upset her. I know she can still use her magic for now, and I hope we figure it out before she loses what she has.

Sierra’s magic is a gift that should be treasured. It saved us from so much, and it would be wrong on all levels to see her lose it.

“Are you really not worried about the witches in the woods?” I ask, derailing our conversation and returning to what brought us up here so bright and early this morning.

I know she told Colton she wasn’t, as long as we stay within the boundaries, but my gut says she isn’t being entirely honest.

“No, and yet…yes. Witches are a whole other breed, and in my time asleep, I don’t know what changes there have been in the world. There are so many forbidden forms of dark magic that most avoid. I can’t say I know they still do.

“We should be ever more aware and play it safe, more so than before.” She looks me dead in the eye, and I nod, a sinking wariness hitting my gut, and for the first time since our life began here, I begin to feel afraid.