The Awakening Series Book 2

For most of the day, Colton is preoccupied with overseeing the new buildings, checking in with the sentinels on patrol, and keeping himself busy.

We have fallen into a routine of doing what we need to do separately first thing in the day and gravitating back around lunch to do things together.

I guess today was exceptionally busy, as I had lunch with Sierra like we always do and then checked in on the school and some of the smaller workshops without laying eyes on him.

The wolves have started getting life back on track again.

With the kitchens being used as a cafeteria and a bakery to provide for the village, we have brought some animals to graze on the surrounding lands to fill our meat, egg, and dairy needs, although occasionally, vampires kill a few.

We have managed to get them within the boundary for nightfall most of the time, but animals like to wander.

In the evening, the school runs arts and crafts workshops, drama classes, and other small hobby interests to keep the people occupied.

They know they must keep within the boundaries if they want to stay safe, and many have adapted to small-town living smoothly.

I would say that despite the constant threat from our fanged neighbors, we have somehow created an almost peaceful existence, and the rune boundary enables us to sleep well without fear of invasion.

We’re in a safety bubble where nothing can penetrate, and we’re much luckier than our surrounding packs for it.

At the mountain, we had free rein of the vast space, the valley, the surrounding human towns, and everything beyond. There was never a need for this kind of prison-like existence.

So, it’s been an adjustment for many, especially those Santos who did have a life, work, and school in the human world and now are confined to our peaceful bubble.

I have to say there haven’t been many complaints, and they all try to get by without fuss. Most are grateful to Colton for bringing them somewhere safe and happy to live out the days.

We try to keep this as safe a place as possible and keep disruption minimal so the young and the elders can have a trauma-free existence.

In the fight at the mountain, we maybe gained several of the fiercest sub-packs, but we also acquired the land-loving peaceful families, lots of femmes, and children.

So, most of our numbers are those who want to spend their days in quiet living and never face vampires.

They wouldn’t know how to fight unless their lives depended on it, and even then, I don’t rate their odds highly. Much like my family, they are farmers, not warriors.

Our sentinels are all sub-packs with battle experience, and Juan lost some of his best who followed and respected Colton.

He made a mistake dismissing Colton’s right as alpha that day, as those governed by our laws and pride in the pack, the strongest, were those who followed him.

They provide our security; without them, I don’t think we would be half as capable of dealing with our enemies swiftly.

When I return from the village rounds, I cross the open gravel drive toward the tree line to oversee the details.

I do this sometimes to see if I can feel anything out there, sometimes to flex my gifts and blow off some steam from days of not using my abilities.

I’m so bubble-wrapped by Colton that having skills seems a waste, as he’s Mr. Protective and over-pampering, and I get little chance to use them. I feel like since becoming luna, I have had better control of them, yet sometimes, I have less need for them.

I’ve fought the vampires with Colton by my side multiple times in six months, and I must say that not using my gifts comes down to me a little.

We’ve killed many of their kind, which felt awful each time. I can’t explain; even though I knew it was either them or us, and they were the enemy, it was somehow wrong deep down inside me.

Maybe it’s that part of me is vampire, and I somehow connect with them on a weird psychic level, but every death has weighed on me heavily since we took them down, and I can still recall the many faces and smells of these creatures that died by my hand.

As opponents, they are not equally matched to lycans. On their side, they have speed, some strength, and can be vicious.

I was shocked to find that most vamps possess few unique gifts as we do, in fact, barely any. Only their purest and oldest seem to have abilities like mine, and with their own hierarchy, they never come out to use them. Or show face.

That means every vamp we have come up against has been easy to take down with little effort.

As they outnumber us, I always thought they would pose a bigger threat, but maybe they have vast numbers, and in a battle between two species, despite all our glory, they would be deadlier.

Once they realized we had counteracted their weapon with our own frequency and stayed within our border to ensure it, they were less eager to try and invade.

It hints that they know they are the weaker of our two kinds. It makes no sense to me why they still pursue a war.

It’s no wonder they have come to the witches to try to level the playing field.

Wolf on vamp sways to our side more than theirs in every scenario, and even with our lesser population, we have slayed them anytime they have tried to come at us. No match at all.

Now they have witches in their midst, though I have no idea what that will do or even mean. I know very little about witches and magic, only what I have seen from Sierra and Colton, and neither are purebreds.

They lean heavily toward wolf daily and only have their gifts as add-ons rather than their sole being. I haven’t ever met any real pure witches before.

I stand on the edge of the gravel, facing the dark, succulent tree line of our natural wall, and spread my hands out. I watch the trees sway as I move them from right to left softly and then gently back as I push them out.

My gifts are like breathing nowadays; I’m still discovering my limits daily. I never really need to tap into the absorption side, not when my telekinesis is strong enough to disable most things, push them out of my path, or create a short-lived protection bubble around me if need be.

However, this is almost therapeutic, manipulating my environment, which frees my mind and helps me relax.

Watching the trees waving under my command helps ease the tension from my shoulders as I make them dance for me in the afternoon breeze.

The rustle is so subtle and yet calming as it surrounds me and drowns out the noises of the village in the near distance.

Colton devised a way to combat the noise weapon when we started getting invasions of vamps, and they disabled us when we chased them out.

He would cover my ears and block out the sound so I could use my gifts to build an external ball of energy.

Then, I would let rip, and much like a sonic boom, it would explode outward and knock out every device within a five-mile radius, rendering their weapon useless until they got it running again, and we had to repeat.

But since the doc came up with the altered frequency, even that is used less. The vampires abandoned their weapon as it was useless against us, and I know Juan has something similar at the mountain to deter them there.

I watch the ripples through the trees and foliage move in satisfying patterns with every turn and twist of my hand.

I sigh loudly that it’s become this easy, so second nature, and it doesn’t thrill me as it did when I first started honing my gifts.

The downside to having them is the ability to feel others’ emotions beyond Colton’s, whether I want to or not. That, too, has been heightened in the past few months, so I must constantly dampen it down.

I hate feeling what anyone within ten feet of me feels. Unlike when Colton and I share moods and emotions, it feels more invasive somehow, but it helps me deal with my people.

I feel when they are hurt, sad, or afraid, and I can put them at ease or help in some small way. It’s like being psychic, in a way.

“Who knew you would turn out to be this gifted?” The familiar snooty female voice behind me startles me out of my absentminded manipulation of the trees.

I turn in surprise, bristling slightly to face Carmen as she stands behind me. Her hands are on her hips as she stares at the forest over my head and seems almost impressed for a moment.

I was so engrossed and homed in on what I was doing that I neither felt nor sensed her, which I guess is not good. I tune into her and sense her tension, locking my eyes on her pale blues as she hesitates and looks away submissively.

The tables are turned, and I am no longer fading in her shadow.

I experience a ripple of satisfaction and a small glow of smugness that she has learned who not to mess with, at least within the last six months. I’m a force to reckon with.

“Yup, who knew?” I respond dryly, hostility brimming and unsure why she seems to have sought me out. Or maybe she has just wandered here and accidentally bumped into me.

I rarely get any time alone, and the front entryway to the house is usually my go-to for some head space, as no one but the patrols ventures out here normally.

The village is out back, sheltered in the homestead shadow, where all life and soul thrive.

I focus my full attention on her sharp, pointed, but annoyingly pretty face, hoping to intimidate and flash a huge “back off” vibe.

I am in no mood for her, and the bubbling green-eyed me is in there trying to slither up and slap her down.

Her golden hair shields half her delicate face as she moves her hands to cross over her ample bust on that slender figure, and, honestly, I’m not too fond of the fact she is as attractive as a femme. At least I can see what Colton dated her for.

“Look… I know you and I have had our ups and downs. I just wanted to say that I won’t cause any problems. I know how things are. You’re mates. It’s done.

“I’m just another femme from the pack now, and I respect your position as luna. I’m sorry for everything before. I want a calmer life and no drama, and I don’t intend to create any.”

Carmen lowers her eyes and nods to show her submission, her posture loosening as though trying to act like she isn’t as stiff and stressed as I can feel, and I frown at her warily.

My gut tightens in knots because this is the last wolf on the planet I would ever willingly shake hands with. Well, besides Juan!

“Are you being nice because you’re afraid of what I’ll do if you disrespect me or because you have realized what a bitch you were to me?” I’m direct and blunt to match my mood.

I don’t attempt to be hospitable when really, she doesn’t deserve it at all. I know I don’t have to be civil to her if I don’t want to be. There are no rules saying a luna has to love all.

She’s staying with my pack, but it doesn’t mean I have to like her, and it’s not like anyone will challenge me on my coldness. She deserves way more than a moody Alora!

“A little bit of both, I guess. I’m not suggesting we become best friends. I’m just saying… I’m thankful you let me in and didn’t turn us away, and I don’t intend to give you a reason to be sent back to the mountain.

“The past is the past. I’m not proud, but you have to understand how heartbroken I was. I’ve had time to let it go.” She turns her face back to me with no hint of deviousness in those pale almond-shaped eyes.

Her cheeks are naturally rosy as though she’s blushing or seething inwardly, yet there’s no hint of malice or bad feeling coming from her. I think she’s being honest.

I don’t want to linger on any of the before. I turn my face away and shrug, indicating I don’t want to dwell on it or talk it out with her.

It was another time that feels like a lifetime ago, and I don’t want to revisit old hurts where Colton is concerned. We’re happy now. We’re together. That’s all that matters. She needs to stay on her side of the line and leave us on ours.

“So, what motivated it? Weren’t you a sworn stayer in Juan’s army?” I ask bitchily, not sure I like Carmen’s attempts at playing nice when I don’t trust her. I’m not softening in the slightest, even with apologies and oaths to play nice.

“I was always going to follow Colton; I was there that day and saw him defeat his dad. I tried to leave with the pack, but my mom wouldn’t come with me, and by the time I tried to convince her, my dad showed up and ended it.

“My mom isn’t strong. She lives in his shadow. She’s naive and maybe a little too innocent. I couldn’t leave her with him to be ground down and trampled. You don’t know how he is.” Her clear, almost husky voice cracks a little.

I blink her way, seeing a tiny chink in the confident armor she wears like a shroud.

I waiver a little in my coolness when I see that soft warmth in her eyes when talking about her mom, and yet there’s something raw and almost painful when she says the word, Dad.

The most surprising part is how hard it is to believe someone like Carmen came from someone sweet and feeble. She’s a born bitch. I can’t imagine she came from someone weak.

“And now?” I fix her with a direct stare, not moving an inch in my stubbornness or my haughty tone, for I don’t want to figure out the puzzles in her emotions. I want her to walk off and leave me to my trees.

“She saw the truth… One of the pack passed on the memories of your wolves; I guess we had an infiltrator. Then my mom confronted my dad and demanded to see the past in his mind’s eye.

“He refused, but my mom has a gift…she can extract memories of the sleeping and dead without their consent, and I never thought she would be brave enough to do it.” She looks down at the ground in a wave of emotion, her eyes brimming with sudden tears, and she swallows hard.

“We saw what they did to your family, to your pack… The actions of one, spreading its poison to the many in the people we trusted.

“My mom couldn’t take it. She broke, and I knew if we stayed, my dad would send her someplace to ensure she didn’t do anything stupid…like end her own life.”

The tear rolls down Carmen’s cheek, her body bristling as she feels it. She stubbornly straightens and wipes it away harshly.

In that second, she looks like a lost child, trying to act tough in the face of adversity, and despite everything, I am moved.

It’s the curse of the luna to have compassion for her people and my own gift of feeling her emotions out. Her pain bruises my heart and winds through my veins like a prickly cold icicle, aching and hurting me deeply.

It’s reminiscent of grieving my mom, my family, and I reach out instinctively and touch her shoulder.

I curse myself inwardly, for this insane compassion grows in me the longer I lead our people. I swear at myself mentally for showing her softness.

“She’s lucky she has you. To care for her and bring her here. You did the right thing,” I soothe, moving into a maternal mode of appeasing with a gentle tone.

Then I bite my tongue for being a weak-assed bitch. I disappoint myself sometimes. Who knew my luna gifts would be my nemesis when it came to this girl?

“I’m afraid. She’s mentally unstable. She’s always been fragile, and my dad’s part in it all—the betrayal, the moral destruction—she’s not okay.

“Her alpha turned out to be a monster she always followed loyally, her world came crashing down, and the safety of our people became the lowest priority. She cries all the time. It’s like her mate is dead, but she got to live.

“Colton’s leaving didn’t just cause a hole in the pack; it changed everything, and those left behind are prisoners of misery.” It’s a gush of words, and she looks shocked at herself for opening up to me.

After swallowing it with a confused, almost dazed expression, I nod in understanding.

I know a luna has this power over their people, and I never really understood it when Sierra was ours. They are the embodiment of a pack mother, and anyone who needs her feels compelled to confide in her.

Looking back, I see that Sierra had this too, that a luna has a way of lowering walls, making you trust and respect her by merely being close to you.

I motion for her to walk with me along the tree line as sentinels appear to patrol the grounds, and I feel this conversation is not done with.

I can’t let this end this way despite wishing she would disappear. I want privacy from prying eyes because I know the second a guard sees us together, Colton will be out here like a shot, thinking the worst.

Carmen obediently follows me as I turn and gesture to the shaded overhang of the narrow path that leads far along the side and behind the house.

This is just inside the rune border and the closest to the invisible wall you can get.

“We can take her to the med bay if you truly feel her mental state is problematic. We can monitor and help. We have human medicines, an understanding of mental health, and a good staff who wouldn’t leave her alone.

“Maybe she needs time, safety, and the peaceful life we are building here. The village has some community groups and maybe being back among old friends…,” I try to reason as I decipher the pits of angst and anxiety swirling around Carmen.

We are now shoulder to shoulder and moving at a slow stroll under the outstretched branches.

Her mom’s state seems to be where all her focus is, not on anything from before. It makes me relax knowing she has no obvious ulterior motives. Her whole aura and ambiance tell me her heart and mind are where her mom is.

“I don’t know if it will help or if she’ll agree. My mom has always depended on security and the balance of her life. No rocking the boat, no sudden changes.

“My dad has never known how to handle her, so he avoids her the best he can. It’s always been me and her… I’m her rock.”

Carmen’s distress grows, and tears roll down her face, making her angrily wipe them harder as though she’s embarrassed by her weakness and the genuine fear that she doesn’t know how to help her.

I have a sea of contradictory emotions and pangs running through me, and I try to separate Carmen from the girl of the past and the one beside me in the here and now.

I’m not ready to put my old feelings to rest and let go of hurt, anger, and jealousy.

I don’t know how I would handle seeing her approach Colton like this or if I could swallow it down, but I know one thing for certain: I want to help right now.

Darn this cursed need in me to ensure my pack, every last one of them, is cared for. Even her.

“Do you want me to get Sierra to come to see her in your rooms? Maybe she could help. She can heal certain things and instill calm with a touch. Maybe seeing her…” It’s an absentminded suggestion as my brain strays onto things I don’t want to think about.

I flinch at her sudden exuberant response.

“Oh my god! Sierra! Yes! Yes, yes, yes. She was one of her closest friends. She mourned her for so many years, and I don’t think she believes the rumors are true, that she’s really here.

“Please, I’ll do anything if she can see her or help… I love my mom. She’s all I have now.” She croaks the last sentence, her eyes misty. She turns to me energetically and grips my hand.

It’s impulsive and without thought, and she seems oblivious to my sudden stiff response as she appears full of new life and energy.

The aura of pleading, desperate need is so strong it catches me off guard, and for a second, I’m ashamed of my hatred for this girl.

Carmen has never really been a femme that blended in with the Santo pack; even I knew that all those years.

I know Colton’s memories of her now, too, seeing she was a loner, brought in because of her father’s ties to Juan and put in his upper circle, down to his position.

She stuck with Colton and his friends, lived in his shadow, and didn’t seem to have any true friends beyond what she thought she had in the sub-pack.

It was common knowledge that everyone hated Carmen, and she didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about it.

Her abrasive, spoiled girl behavior, her outward hostility, superiority, bitchy glares all added to her being a girl I know we all avoided like the plague. Not just my kind at the orphanage but most femmes in the entire valley.

When she dated Colton, she was with him constantly and acted like she didn’t care about other wolves in the pack, let alone making friends beyond her mate.

She was so up her own ass, sure, she was the future luna, that she didn’t bother to make any bonds with anyone.

Looking at her now, feeling her pain from her depths, I wonder what made her this way. Why she was closed off from anyone except Colton…

Even the sub-pack never really bonded to her as they have me and dutifully endured her presence for him.

I can’t imagine what losing him must have felt like if he truly was the only person she thought of as her friend and security. And then she lost the subs around her, which were probably the closest to a real pack she had.

She isn’t as tough or cold as she makes out, and I can feel her fear, insecurity, worry over her mom, and her complete lack of boldness now that I’m touching her hand.

I squeeze it tightly and try to numb the intense feelings I am absorbing from her, and she suddenly yanks her hand away, realizing what she’s doing by holding on to me.

She blushes, reels back, and pulls herself stiff and cold. A gust of icy cold passes through me as her heart clamps shut and her emotions are tamped down to conceal all from me, like an internal fire door being slammed shut to keep the fire at bay.

The armor sweeps back up, and the arrogant exterior comes into play. It’s almost so effortless and speedy that if I blinked, I would have missed it.

“I can arrange for Sierra to sit with her, send some food, and give them time alone. She maybe isn’t luna anymore, but as rema, she still cares for the people and plays a hand in making this home a haven of calm,” I say.

I ignore the change in her and don’t draw attention to the fact she’s wiping her hand to remove the feel of my warm touch on her. My brain is firing ahead to a solution for her mom.

I’m sure with a little gentle coaxing, Sierra will leave her rooms for a while, especially if, like Carmen said, this was one of her friends from the past.

Her friends were kept behind by mates or lost in the war. We don’t have many of those here. Most remember her only as luna.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you as luna…as worthy. For everything I said or did. He broke me. I was in pain. It was juvenile, and I’m over it,” she states coldly, icily harsh in her tone as though overcompensating for the weakness she showed me moments before.

In that flash, the old bitchy-looking, aloof, and haughty Carmen stands in place of the lost and vulnerable soul of seconds ago, trivializing her love of my mate once upon a time, but this time, I see through it.

I see a broken-hearted, lonely girl who lost someone she loved, was left to fend for herself in a home she no longer recognized, and still harbors a world of agony deep inside.

As much as I look back and feel like she once deserved my anger, I don’t think she does anymore.

Carmen’s adrift with no anchor. Her home is gone, her mate went to another, her father’s a betrayer of all she knew, and her mother…slowly slipping away from her as the days pass.

Only devastation and fear are hiding behind cold bitch, and I wonder what she has gone through in the last few months under Juan’s rule to lose the last ounces of soft she used to allow herself to show at times.

I wonder what else our people out there are going through right now, too, while here we live in a bubble of general safety and happiness.

“The past has passed. Let’s focus on the now and the future and on making your mom well,” I utter quietly but determinedly.

I need to offer her some hope now that I can feel her mood has returned to distant and closed off.

It’s like there’s no light in this girl at all, and she has become so accustomed to dwelling in the dark that her very warmth ebbs into nothingness the second she reels it back to the damp cave within her.

“It’s been so long since I felt like we had any real leader or luna…I forgot what it feels like to have someone share the load and make you feel that everything might be okay.”

She stares at her feet, her jawline and eyebrows flinching slightly, and seems to unfocus for a second as a slight hint of color warms her cheeks. And then it’s gone just as quickly.

It’s a touch of something, maybe gratitude, maybe real genuine hope, then bam, she closes it back down and swallows her carelessness once more.

I see it now. For the first time, I see what maybe Colton did all these years and why he tried to stay with her before there was us. Knowing him, his hero complex, he likes to see the best in people.

She’s the scared little girl in the hard outer shell, and the signals she gives off are so subtle you almost miss them if you are not looking for them.

They briefly appear when she forgets to pull her mask up and lurk in the tiny wrinkles in her armor, the careless words, or the unintended moments of genuine touch.

They make you want to help her, bring her into the warmth, and remove the shackles she has put around herself to keep people out.

The bitch isn’t who she is. The tantrums, the behaviors, and the arrogant outer persona are all a mask to shield this right here.

She is more like her mom than I think she realizes, and maybe it’s not so unbelievable that her mother is a weaker wolf with no ability to fend for herself.

Perhaps that’s exactly why Carmen learned to be this way after watching her mother get pushed around for her flaws.

Carmen is fragile in her own way, yet at the same time, so much stronger than I gave her credit for, in a completely different way.

She’s more capable than Tawna and less likely to break into a thousand pieces the way her mom seems, but it’s there all right. The vulnerability. The sadness.

She needs a strong mate to give her what she lacks. She needs security, devotion, and loyalty to find her self-worth and someone who will love her and bring her peace the way Colton has for me.

She needs a family she can lean on instead of them leaning on her and making her the one to shield and protect.

Maybe it’s guilt. Perhaps now that I see her in a new light, I truly feel sorry for my part in her unhappiness.

The fates disregarded her and cast her aside, and Colton could no longer stomach looking her way when she betrayed his bond.

I guess now I even understand why she did what she did to him when he bonded with someone else. I can’t even imagine what that did to her mentally and emotionally when all she had to rely on was him.

I took her place in his heart, bed, and pack, and she was left alone on the cold mountain to weather the storm and figure out how to save her mom.

She watched everyone slip away, and her life was turned upside down while she held together the pieces of the wreckage she was left with.

Maybe she has more reason to hate me than I ever had for her. Yet I don’t even find a trace of it standing here anymore.

It’s like her emotions have died, and all that’s left is a need to keep her single lifeline safe, or else she has no reason to go on.

“You’re home now. We’ll figure this out…as a pack.” I try a brighter smile that conveys “It’s okay, we got this” and push down every other thought and feeling inside.

Carmen’s eyes mist over, and she turns away, swallowing hard, clearing her throat, and giving off some strong, uncomfortable vibes.

Unable to produce words, she nods and wipes her cheek with the back of her hand in an almost childlike gesture so I don’t see another tear rolling down her face, and yet I feel her shame and disappointment in letting me see her weak.

She just never stops fighting.

“Go sit with your mom, and I’ll go see Sierra. I’ll send tea and cake to your quarters, and we can take it from there.” I ignore her behavior and feel somewhat relieved when she moves to walk away from me.

Obviously, she has had enough of my company and makes a break for it, thus relieving me of her emotions as she gives me space.

I’m glad, as this interaction has left me screwed up and confused about my feelings and exactly how and what to do with Carmen now being here. I need some head space to process all of this.

I hope Sierra can help her, maybe soothe and heal Tawna, help her accept the past better, and move forward in a new life with us.

Perhaps it will be good for them both. I mean, a femme whose own mate put her in a coma for eight years to keep her silent might be better at understanding the betrayal and hopelessness she feels.

And I need to find my mate and talk this out with him because I sure as hell feel weirded out that the girl I told him I didn’t want here this morning is now on my list of top priorities for the day, and I have no idea how that even happened.

I still have no clue how I will react when I finally see them together once more in any interaction.