Alpha Jasper Book 2

Thea

Jasper is pacing in front of me.

I’m perched on the edge of the bed, my leg stretched out in front of me. The blanket is still wrapped around my waist, but honestly, I don’t care anymore.

My mind is a whirlpool of thoughts. I’m trying to find my place in all of this, but I’m failing, leaving me feeling hollow and numb.

“I don’t want to die,” I whisper, watching Jasper as he thinks.

Malik has given us some space to talk things through, to discuss how Jasper is going to end my life.

But the moment we are alone, the reality of the situation hits us both. Jasper realizes he’s going to have to stop my heart from beating, and I realize this is really happening.

“I’m sorry to have dragged you into this mess,” Jasper murmurs, finally coming to a stop. I’ve never seen him look so lost, so distraught in a situation.

He isn’t holding himself together as well as I’ve seen him do, and it doesn’t help my jittering nerves.

I take a deep breath, trying to fill my lungs. “It’s not your fault. If it wasn’t for you... I would be dead by now.”

Jasper pauses, before doing something surprising. He falls to his knees right in front of me.

Can he look under my blanket? Yes. Do I care? Not in the slightest. There’s so much emotion in his eyes, it’s overwhelming.

The man kneeling in front of me shows something I’ve never seen in a man in my life: honesty, integrity, and something signifying a tie to me. He truly does care about me, even if only in this moment.

“I’m going to make this as painless as possible for you,” he promises, and I don’t hesitate in believing him. “We can put you to sleep first...”

Instantly I shake my head, the image of a needle piercing my skin flashing in my mind. Just the thought makes me queasy, my mind spinning for a few seconds at the simple idea of it. Storms and needles are my biggest fear.

Whoever invented such a painful mechanism of administering medication is my worst nightmare.

“I can’t... anything but that,” I mutter, still shaking my head at him, to help him understand my point.

Jasper’s jaw clenches, and I can almost see him sifting through ideas of ways to kill me. A morbid subject, but I would rather be strangled to death than have a needle pierce my skin.

It may be strange in some people’s eyes, but this is a fear I’ve had since a child.

“That’s okay,” Jasper reassures me. “I could drown you...”

I cringe just at the sound of it, but it hardly measures to needles, in my eyes. Water isn’t something I’m all that familiar with.

Sure, it is a necessary commodity, but I haven’t spent much time swimming in it.

“The more you talk, the more normal dying seems to be,” I say breathily, trying to bring some comedy into the situation. Jasper smiles, despite himself.

“So how does it work? And how are you going to bring me back?”

There hasn’t really been a time where I’ve questioned Jasper much on his powers and what he is capable of, except for the time when we first met.

Honestly, just thinking about what he could do to me in a single instant makes me nervous, uncertainty toward his every move being something I want to keep an eye on.

Especially after that moment we had in the bedroom. With his hands down my pants…

“I have to bite you,” he tells me warily. My eyes widen. “It’s the way of the curse. It has nothing to do with the bite of a mate. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

Am I worried about him accidentally marking me? That’s hardly on my mind right now.

Being mated to Jasper wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world anyway, since I’ve given up hopes of finding my mate, and I don’t know about Jasper’s.

“I’m not worried about that. How did you die?”

Jasper’s face suddenly shadows, and I can tell I’ve just brought up a sore subject. He was killed by his father... or at least, that’s what legends told me.

Admittedly, I don’t know much about his legend, considering I never bothered to learn about it. Especially not in as much depth as June did.

“I was stabbed.”

We both stay silently for a moment. Jasper is still on his knees in front of me, and doesn’t look as if he’s about to move any time soon.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. Jasper looks down, and I see he’s hiding emotion from me. I can hardly blame him... being stabbed is so... intimate. And by your own father?

It pains even me just thinking about it. Especially since I’m familiar with having a terrible father.

“They say drowning is like falling asleep, although no one can be completely sure if that is true,” Jasper tells me, pushing away any further talk about his father. I don’t mind...”

Like falling asleep? That’s something I am good at.

“If it’s going to be less painful than death by whatever poison that Desire Pack member gave me, then I don’t mind at all,” I tell him honestly.

The pain in my leg comes and goes, and when it does come, it’s disorientating, leaving my mind spinning, and my body quivering.

“Tomorrow... That’s when it has to be done,” he tells me, and reluctantly, I nod. I want to ask him so many different questions about what it’s like to be dead.

What it’s like to be a Phantom Wolf, but he cuts me off.

Jasper moves forward suddenly, back onto his feet. He places his hands on either side of me, on the bed, leaning directly over me. All the breath in my lungs disappears.

“I can’t stop thinking about that night,” Jasper whispers.

The atmosphere in the room flips on its head. The stern Alpha, who was just talking about my impending death, has vanished. In his place is a playful, sensual man who I can’t tear my gaze from.

His closeness lets me feel the warmth radiating from his body, his face just a breath away from mine. His heated breath brushes lightly against my cheek, and if I shift even a fraction, our lips will meet.

The mere thought sends my heart into a frenzy, and a flood of inappropriate thoughts that cloud my mind make me thankful Jasper has vowed to stop reading it.

“I can’t either,” I respond, my voice barely a whisper, my cheeks heating at my own words. How can one man make me feel so flustered?

Without even a touch, I’m utterly captivated.

Thea! Pull yourself together.

“Your last day alive will be the best one you’ve ever had,” Jasper assures me, his voice soft and soothing. I find myself believing every word he says. “I'll make sure of it.”

His gaze drops to my lips, and for a moment, I’m convinced he’s going to kiss me.

That he’s going to acknowledge the undeniable attraction between us that’s been simmering since we met.

It’s a fiery kind of chemistry that even I can’t ignore, despite my past experiences with sexual partners. Jasper is different …

He’s already shown me that.

So what’s holding me back? As I watch him, biting his lip gently, I wonder why I’m not throwing myself at him.

Luca! His eyes suddenly invade my thoughts, a whirlwind of dark colors and potent memories.

I recoil.

And I break.

“Woah! Woah, woah!” Jasper cries out in surprise, as I scramble backward across the bed, until my back hits the headboard.

The sting of Luca’s hand against my raw skin returns, as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to banish him. His shadow towers over me, his eyes dark with pure rage.

His cruel smile is unmistakable. Familiar.

I can sense someone next to me, but I’m frozen, my body paralyzed. Tears scorch hot trails down my cheeks; they pull me further in, deeper into that night.

That night when Luca̶̶̶ …

“Thea, it’s okay,” I hear Jasper’s voice in my ear. I take a deep breath, and I’m back. I’m here, in the present.

Burying my face in Jasper’s chest, I don’t care about the tear stains on his shirt. I don’t care about his confusion. He’s here. He’s real, and I crave that.

Pushing him onto the bed, I wrap my arms around his slim waist and let the tears flow.

I let out the emotion I’ve kept hidden all my life. From my friends, from my family.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jasper whispers softly, as I cling to him. My anchor, my solid ground.

He’s not going anywhere, and as my breathing starts to steady, the blood stops pounding in my ears, I hear him.

I let him play with a strand of my hair. “Talk to me.”

My voice is stuck in my throat. Like it always is …

Slowly, I pull away. Hair clings to my damp cheeks, my eyes are swollen, and my throat. Looking at Jasper, I see his concern, I see his worry. But he won’t understand, no one can understand.

“I’m fine,” I manage to choke out, the lie clearly not fooling Jasper.

Doubt is written all over his face. “What happened, Thea? You were fine, now you’re clearly upset. Talk to me, please, I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

I swipe my hands across my cheeks, taking a deep breath to compose myself. This isn’t my first recovery, and it won’t be my last. I’m stronger than this. I’m strong on my own.

Jasper may have pulled me out of the trance, but I’m not about to confess to him what Luca did to me.

The past is the past.

“Promise me you won’t read my mind,” I say quickly, but firmly.

Getting to my feet, I quickly cross the room, clutching the blanket tightly to me. Bending down, I rummage through the few things that I brought with me, searching for some longer pants to wear.

Anything to cover this ugly, painful scar, inflicted on me by an equally ugly and painful man.

“Of course,” Jasper says, still sitting on the bed, stunned.

When I glance back at him, he’s looking at me, strangely. His shirt has a telltale wet patch on it from my tears, and his hair is tousled.

Confusion clouds his eyes, and it would make sense to clear it. But I can’t bring myself to admit it.

“Did I hurt you?” He asks, standing from the bed. I shake my head, and he seems slightly relieved by that. “Then what is it?”

I shake my head at him. “Please, not now...”

“Then later,” he insists, walking closer. This time, he leaves a decent amount of space between us. He’s giving me time to think, and I’m grateful for that.

But still, he gently prods me for a reason for my breakdown.

“This is meant to be a good day,” I tell him, trying to change the subject. Anything but to address... that.

He sighs deeply, running his hands back through his hair. I watch his expression soften, as he realizes he’s not going to get anything out of me.

I’m showing him I can be strong, even if he has no idea why I’m so desperate to.

“You have to tell me eventually,” he murmurs. “Today will be a good day for you, I promise. And tonight, there’s something you need to know, before we… proceed with this.”