Colt Book 3

SCARLETT

Kody always had the ability to lead; after all, he was brought up to do it.

Randall believed that in order for Kody to be a great leader, he had to have a cold heart.

Randall always made it clear that he didn’t want me tainting Kody’s heart.

Because, when it came to me, a softer side of Kody would come out.

Randall hated that. I realized that at an early age.

I was the mere age of thirteen when Randall pulled me aside, telling me that, in order for Kody to be the man he needed Kody to be, I couldn’t be in the picture.

I made a bargain with Randall that I would never taint Kody’s path to being a leader and I would support and encourage him.

Though, because I was thirteen, and very much a tomboy, my exact words were, “I’ll have Kody’s back the whole time.”

Which Randall likes to remind me of.

Just now, as Kody and I sat down for dinner with our fathers, there was tension in the air.

Everyone knew someone had to step up to take Colt’s place.

Scorp was barely sober.

Dad liked working on his bikes too much, and Randall had made it clear that his time as president was over.

He had done his years of service to another club and wasn’t ready to shed the blood or lead the men of a new club.

Kody and Randall were eyeing each other.

I was guessing they were about to pick up on their fight from this morning, which ended with Kody storming out, and I didn’t expect him to be back for tea.

Then, after a few more minutes of dead silence, Kody pushed himself away from the table and left. I sighed, knowing someone had to talk some sense into Kody.

So, I got up and followed, opening the sliding door and seeing Kody sitting in a deck chair, smoking.

“Not hungry?” I asked, and he glanced up, that distant look in his eyes.

The pressure of what was expected of him was getting to him.

After prison, he had always been different.

He leaned forward on the chair, watching me. “You said a long time ago that the club would be the death of me or the victory of my life.”

I frowned, barely remembering the conversation, but nodded.

“What if the club isn’t meant to be in my future?”

My expression dropped.

“I can’t be the man Dad wants me to be. I can’t be the leader the club is looking for. At the same time, I see no point in the club anymore. I’ve lost…”

I sighed and went and sat next to him.

“Kody, you haven’t lost anything. If anything, you’re scared, and I know why. I know what’s holding you back.”

Now that caused his expression to drop.

He did realize I was his best friend and had been his whole life. I knew how his brain worked.

“I’m not your mother.” I brought up the subject that we rarely ever spoke about.

Kody’s mother died because of the club.

How, why, and when didn’t matter.

It was the club’s fault she went into an early grave.

Some say she was addicted to the drugs that the club supplied. But when she took that bullet for Randall, whether she intended it or not, the club got the blame.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” I added.

“Don’t ever say that.”

“Kody—”

“You’re all I’ve got, Scarlett. I won’t have a target painted on your back. You and I both know the biker does the crimes, but his woman carries his punishment.”

My hand went to his cheek.

“Kody, I love you, but please stop beating yourself up over this. You were born to do this job, and I swore to be by your side a long time ago.”

He didn’t say anything.

But just by the silence I knew that he still was debating it.

COLT

It came and went in waves.

A wave of emotion of loss would hit, causing bile to fill my stomach.

It would be a reminder of the murderer I was, the woman I’d lost, the family I could have had with her.

I loved Summer, so much so, it was killing me. Some days I’d wake up wanting her back but then realized I had nothing to offer her.

I was a drunk, nothing but a shadow of someone who wasn’t even really a man. I was nothing but a coward taking a woman’s life.

I was sinking in depression, and I’d be the first one to admit it.

Hell, I was hallucinating.

As on cue, I looked up and she was sitting at an empty table, a mocking smile on her face.

Everywhere I went she would be there.

Woke up, she was there.

Passed out, she then haunted my memory, images of her body hitting the floor.

I was getting a refill at the bar, but as I turned, another regular, who had been wanting a fight with me since I showed up, knocked the bottle out of my hand.

The beer went flying, soaking my white T-shirt and showing the biker tattoos on my chest. I swear I saw a challenge in his eyes.

He wanted a fight, but instead, I said a tight “sorry” and went back to my booth, hoping to die from liquor poisoning.

I wasn’t that man anymore. I wasn’t the man to throw a punch. I was nothing but a worthless waste of space, and I was thinking that before I passed out.

“Come on, stop it.” She grinned at me.

“Seriously, if you don’t put that phone down, I’ll…”

“You’ll what, Kitten?”

I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, hair that had been covering those beautiful soul-sucking eyes.

“Come on, give me a smile.”

Her face went tight on purpose.

“No.”

“Come on, one picture.”

She whipped her head from side to side, but it was her expression that scared me.

“Okay, what’s up?” I asked and sat up in bed.

“Elliot used to make me pose for him,” she whispered, and I realized now that the memory of her bastard of an ex—and my stepbrother—still haunted her.

I moved forward, bringing my hand to her cheek, cupping it.

“You’re safe with me.”

I then kissed her forehead.

“I promise you, Kitten, that you’ll never want for anything.” I put my phone down.

I didn’t realize one picture could flood her with so many bad memories.

She then picked up the phone, and I frowned as she took a picture and handed me back the phone, and then she threw her leg over, straddling me.

“I think I love you, Colt Hudson,” she whispered against my lips.

Those words took the oxygen from my lungs, causing me to inhale but not exhale.

Had she really said that?

Had she meant it?

The soft expression on her face told me she had. But I couldn’t believe it.

After everything we had been through, could she really love me?

I was a shell of a human. I would be the first one to admit that.

I might be viewed as a man, but a man with a heart wasn’t something I was considered.

But as she looked at me, with a tint of honesty and love in her eyes, looking directly into mine, I thought I had won the fucking jackpot.

Nah, fuck that. Money was easy to get. It always came, but her love was priceless.

“Love me or leave me, Colt, but I’m yours.”

Her lips hovered over mine, and I couldn’t take it any longer. I pressed my lips firmly against hers.

I knew then that I was going to marry her and God help any bastard that got in the way.

Rolling over from my unconsciousness state, I came to, and I fucking wished I hadn’t.

I wanted so badly for the drugs and liquor to consume me to the point I died.

Yet there I was, alive still.

I hit my phone, seeing the photo of Summer. Every time I saw that picture, it hit me that she was nothing but a photo on a phone now.

I never would see her in person again.

“Wallowing in self-pity?”

I gritted my teeth.

You have to be fucking kidding me. She was still around.

Fuck these hallucinations. Again, I couldn’t believe how real she looked.

Fuck this. I needed a drink.

I looked up, seeing Charlotte standing there with a smirk on her face.

“I thought you were nice. It’s not a nice thing to haunt people.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Fuck off, Charlotte.”

Her grin got bigger.

I pushed my pants off and headed for the shower. She, of course, followed.

Fucking unbelievable. Can’t even get privacy from my own hallucination.

“You know if you keep stripping in front of me, Summer’s going to get jealous.”

“Hallucination, go away,” I sang out, and the fact I was talking back to a hallucination was enough to realize I had gone mad.

“When are you going to listen to me?” she said back, leaning in the doorway of the bathroom.

“This place is dirty by the way. You’ll catch something in there.” She pointed to the shower.

“I’m already insane, so what can be worse?”

“That thing moving in the corner.” She pointed to the shower, and I whirled around. Fuck.

“What the hell is that?”

“Looks like a sponge.”

“Fucking disgusting,” I grumbled.

“Come on, Colt, just go home. My niece isn’t coping without her father, and Summer…” She scoffed. “God, don’t get me started on her.”

My eyes widened, and I slowly looked up. “What did you just say?”

“Don’t get me started on Summer.”

I shook my head. “Niece. You said the word niece.”

Her lips twitched up. “Well, well, it seems the devil is in the details after all.”

I took Charlotte in. Was she really there?

I went to touch her, and she pulled back.

“At least put some clothes on.”

She turned, and then I realized I was butt naked.

What the fuck!

She was real! Nah, surely not…